Revenge of the Big Umbrella Posse

I used to be one of those little umbrella people.

Whenever it would rain, I’d have a compact umbrella handy for the four-plus block walk from the parking lot through other parking lots to the building I work in.

My last umbrella was the Ultimate Umbrella from Eddie Bauer, which proved to be anything but ultimate. A not-so-strong gust of wind bent the umbrella’s stem at a 90-degree angle my first day of using it.

Last month ago, in the wake of the wedding, I got a bonus wedding present from my father: a big umbrella (okay, he left it in the back of my car).

I have to say, it’s amazing walking around with this thing. It’s like I have my own eco-system. And unlike Eddie Bauer’s ultimate umbrella, this thing won’t break because of a little whisper of wind.

But if it was Jack Bauer’s ultimate umbrella, it would not just repel rain, but it would also blow up random bad guys at will.

Jack’s Back!

There are roughly three months left until the season premiere of 24.

For those of you who can’t wait, I give you:
The 24 Season Six Trailer

Actually, it’s brought to you by FOX. I’m just linking to it.

One night, two beatdowns for Sawyer

Tonight, Lost viewers saw something special: the first Sawyer flashback that didn’t make him look like a complete jackass.
Continue reading One night, two beatdowns for Sawyer…

The Man Comes Around

Hard to believe, but the first half of this season of Lost is almost over.
Continue reading The Man Comes Around…

The Power of Fudge

When I dream, I come up with great marketing gimmicks.

The other night, I was dreaming that I was watching the Food Network and Huey Lewis was hosting a cooking show.

The name of that show:

Huey Lewis and the Food

Bonus Pockets

Because it’s getting colder, I’ve started wearing my winter coat.

The last time I wore it was probably in March or April. The coat has a buttload of pockets-I’m constantly finding new pockets and losing things in them (in fact, I almost lost an engagement ring at a critical moment thanks to the abundance of pockets).

So as I was wearing my coat, I started going through the pockets and was amazed by what I found:

-A brochure from St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York (from a trip in November ’04)
-A lunch receipt from February 2005
-A UPS shipping receipt from January 2006
-A ticket to an OmniMax movie (Forces of Nature)
-A ticket to a chick flick the Civee wanted to see (I’d rather not say the title)
-Three cough drops
-An instruction book for a Swiss Army Knife
-A valet parking receipt (never redeemed) from when I drove myself to the hospital barefoot after breaking my ankle
And best of all:
-A weezer bumper sticker

Bonus!

Thanks for the reminder, Benry!

Just like last week, severe weather hit Columbus the same night as Lost. But unlike last week, we didn’t have color-coded weather maps clogging up the screen.

It’s nice to have new episodes of Lost. I liked last week’s episode, but aside from the flashbacks, I liked this week’s episode better. I’m not sure what I learned, but I know I learned something.

Continue reading Thanks for the reminder, Benry!…

At least he didn’t try on Lou Gehrig’s pants

Note from the King: This post was conceptualized before the Yankees announced Joe Torre wouldn’t be fired.

So I was talking with a Red Sox fan today about the possibility of the Yankees firing Joe Torre. He mentioned that Torre might be a good choice should Boston can their manager.

That thought, combined with some of Torre’s moves in the ALDS made me think, maybe, like another certain Yankees employee, that Torre was trying to get fired.

Still, like I said yesterday, my preference is that the Yankees keep Torre- for one more year. I’m glad they’re keeping him (if nothing else, it shuts up Mike Lupica), meaning the team will have some stability while they make other changes.

Make change, but not too much change

Like every other Yankees fan out there, I’m very disappointed by the way they played the last three games of their season.

I’m also disappointed that for me, the winter begins now and we’re left waiting on the front office to make its news.

Until it makes that news, there’s nothing to do but talk about what should be done. Even though the Kingdom isn’t a sports bar and I don’t have an advanced degree in sabermetrics, I still have some ideas about what should be done. And since this is the king’s blog, the king gets to write them.

There’s talk that the Boss wants to fire Joe Torre. That’s his call to make, but I’m not sure that should be done. Sure, Torre made some dumb moves (trusting the Sheff at first in three games, having Rodriguez play musical chairs in the lineup), and Joe seems to have gotten complacent, but these Yankees are his team. And I trust Cashman to make the right moves (without too much interference from Tampa) to get this team on track for next year.

That being said, the only person I’d want to see replace Torre is Lou Pinella.

Changes also need to be made on the field as well.

It was great that Gary Sheffield was willing to try out first base in his last few weeks before free agency. I’d let him be a free agent, and play Melky Cabrera in left, with Matsui DH-ing.

I would NOT trade Alex Rodriguez. Like everyone else, he didn’t produce in the post-season. But you know what he can do, and it would scare me to see that on another team.

Mike Mussina has an option year. I’d say bye-bye to the pitcher who resembles the title character from the “Princess and the Pea.”

And then there’s Randy. The only thing I can do is beg him to retire. He’s said if he feels like he wouldn’t be able to contribute next year, he’d hang ‘em up. Please do that Randy. You can’t contribute anymore. I’d love for you to prove me wrong, but I know you won’t.

I’d also let Jared Wright go (I think the team has an option on his contract) and pull a Womack-like disappearing trick with Carl Pavano.

Of course, that leaves your rotation with Wang and a few rookies who threw a few games late in the year, so I’d use the freed-up money to sign Barry Zito and/or Japanese phenom Daisuke Matsuzaka. I’d also give the aforementioned rookies (I originally typed that as “aforementioned wookies”) a shot to hold down the fort until prospects Philip Hughes and Tyler Clippard are ready to play in the big leagues.

I don’t know who else is out there, free agent-wise, but I don’t think that’s where the Yankees need to concentrate. I think they need to continue on their track of getting younger in the spots that are open. And as for those players who you can’t get from within, acquire them wisely.

So how many days until pitchers and catchers?

Guess Who’s Back

So I have the Internet again and power has been restored to the Kingdom.

It’s been an entertaining past two weeks. Got married and moved.

The wedding was great. Everyone had a great time.

The move is over. I’m slowly getting used to a brand new version of everyday life which I like better than the previous everyday.

And the new place is fun.

Although, today, there was some extreme severe weather in central Ohio. I’m talking about huge hailstones, thunder and lightning and possible tornadoes.

As the tornado sirens were going off, the Civee and I tuned into one of the local news stations to get the scoop. The meteorologist was going over the warning, and listed only one street in all of Columbus in the tornadoes’ path: West Sixth Avenue.

I now live on West Sixth Avenue.

Like I said, it’s been an entertaining two weeks.