Star Wars Episode VII: The [Spoiler] In Space

Over the weekend, an interesting rumor made its way around the Internet about the plot about Star Wars Episode VII.

It’s very farfetched, but according to Badass Digest:

Imagine the standard Star Wars crawl, and when it ends the camera pans up to the stars. But instead of a spaceship zooming into frame we see… a hand! A severed hand, tumbling through space. A severed hand gripping a light saber.

That hand falls onto a desert planet…

My reaction was laughter. Nevermind the fact that you’re using a tiny hand to start off an epic Star Wars movie, but just think about the laws of physics that this breaks. A hand surviving atmospheric re-entry? Not only that, but wouldn’t the vaccuum of space cause the blood vessels in the hand to blow up like a Thanksgiving Parade balloon?

Actually, now that I think about it, *that* just may work. 

Picture it: Pan down from the scroll to space. This giant red and flesh colored thing hurls through space, dwarfing a squadron of nearby new-style X-Wings. Thinking it’s some type of menace, Porkins Jr. throws up his shields and takes a few shots. A blaster bolt hits the thing, which quickly deflates, shrinking back down to normal hand size. A silver lightsaber falls out of the hand, landing on the planet below.

Sorry if I spoiled anyone with my predictions.

And yes, this isn’t that spoilerific, but there will be a new generation of X-Wing fighters in Episode VII: