Children From the Produce Aisle

Being a first-time expectant father, I have a lot to learn about the pregnancy process.

Relatively speaking, men have it easy for the nine months their significant other is pregnant.  So in an effort to be a good husband, I’ve taken it upon myself to learn as much about what the Civee is going through as possible.  However, in my effort to be studious, I’ve also become quite bewildered.

In an effort to explain what the baby is like at a certain point during the pregnancy, many books and Web sites will liken the baby’s size or weight to an outside-the-womb item.  That’s all fine and dandy.  However, most of these sources like to compare the baby to a fruit or vegetable.  Take, for example, the bountiful resource babycenter.com.  In their “Your Pregnancy: Week by Week” section, they liken a baby’s progression to the following:

  • sesame seed
  • lentil bean
  • blueberry
  • kidney bean
  • grape
  • kumquat
  • fig
  • lime
  • lemon
  • apple
  • avocado
  • turnip
  • bell pepper
  • large heirloom tomato
  • banana
  • carrot
  • spaghetti squash
  • large mango
  • ear of corn
  • average rutabaga
  • English hothouse cucumber
  • head of cauliflower
  • Chinese cabbage
  • butternut squash
  • try carrying four navel oranges
  • large jicama
  • a pineapple
  • your average cantaloupe
  • honeydew melon
  • crenshaw melon
  • a stalk of Swiss chard
  • a leek
  • a mini watermelon
  • small pumpkin

Right now, The Civee’s at week 23.  It’s weird and frightening to picture her giving birth to a large mango.  But beyond that, I’m not sure what a rutabaga looks like.  I have no idea how a crenshaw melon is different than a honeydew melon.  And I thought English cucumbers were always wrapped in plastic.

It would be nice if they could think of other real-world items (weighs as much as a can of paint, as big as a Playstation controller) that they could compare the baby to.   I applaud the creativity, but comparing a baby to fruits and vegetables is confusing, and scary when one is in the middle of the produce aisle trying to pick out a good kumquat or jicama.

Naming Is Not A Game

Last week, the Civee and I found out that our baby on the way is a girl.

We’re both happy about this, and I have to admit, knowing this will cut down on a lot of disagreements within our household.  We’ve had a girl’s name in mind for many years.  On the other hand, when it comes to a boy’s name, we’ve only recently agreed on one that we both like.

I take naming our child very seriously.  Because of this, I was a bit more sensitive to some of the boys names out there.  Some names were rejected because they didn’t flow right.  Others reminded me of kids I grew up with, and I refuse to name my child after the kid who was smelly or one who beat me up at any time.

At the same time, there were a bunch of names that I liked that got an immediate veto from the Civee.  Here are some of them (including first and middle name combinations when applicable):

Those are just some of the names that the Civee has rejected.  Of course, she could forget these if and when there’s a next time to talk about boy’s names.

(And no, I won’t tell you what the boy’s name we liked was or what our daughter will be named.  I fear for my life should I spill the beans).

Looks Just Like Me!

The Civee and I went in today for the week 20 ultrasound, which conveniently is also her halfway point.

The doctor seemed pleased with how everything was progressing. Apparently, the baby has long arms and legs, which we’re guessing it got from me.  Also, the doctor pointed out the humerus, which some believe is the source of one’s sense of humor.  Which it also got  from me.

Dear Columbus Drivers, Red Means Stop.

The other day, The Civee and I were walking around, about to cross the street, when we were almost run over by a car driven by a woman who apparently didn’t notice the red octagonal sign hovering over the intersection.

She eventually stopped, with the front of her car out in traffic, so we passed behind her, quite miffed, while alerting her to the fact that she blew past a stop sign.  Sure we were loud, but we felt because she had her windows and sunroof open that she heard us.

Flashforward to yesterday evening…I was waiting for The Civee to get back home from her class when I get a panicked call from her: “I’m all right, I was in an accident, I’ll call back later.”

Turns out, The Civee was going through an intersection on her way home, while some yahoo driving an SUV ignored the fact that he had a red light, ran through the light and straight into the side of our car (effectively T-Boning it).  Our car swung around and got hit again on the front.

The Civee bumped her head and was checked out by paramedics at the scene.  Other than a headache, she’s all right (and we think the baby is too).

The car, on the other hand, is not.  We went to the place where it was towed to pick up our things, and when we first got there, I didn’t recognize the car.  For some reason, they wouldn’t let me take pictures, but I can say that it made the last time we were hit look like a scratch.

As I said, luckily, The Civee is fine and our insurance should take care of the car.  But still, two incidents within days where our lives are endangered by idiots failing to heed the most basic rule- that red means stop.

I know I’m not a perfect driver.  But I’m definitely going to be paying attention to those octagonal signs and red lights in the future.

Now That the Cat's Out of the Bag

When you learn you’re going to be a parent, you also find out a bunch of things that TV and the movies don’t teach you about the whole having a baby thing.
Everyone knows it will change your life.  But until you’re in that situation, and you start learning and talking to people, you never realize how much it will change your life.  Similarly, there are a whole slew of health issues that could throw a wrench into everything.  Most of those health issues pop up before the end of the first trimester (12 weeks).  Once you pass that 12-week mark, things remarkably improve.
Because of this, The Civee and I decided to wait to tell people when we first found out she was pregnant.  We weren’t ready to answer all of the life questions that people would have.  Also, we wanted to have our first doctor’s visit and make sure everything was in the right place before filling other people in.  I wrote about it ninja-style earlier this month, and since then, we’ve slowly started to let others know.
Well, now we’re out of the first trimester, and it’s not a secret anymore (also, she’s starting to show, so we wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret much longer), so we’re starting to really feel like parents-to-be.
Yesterday, because there was a sale at Costco, we bought a box of diapers.  Two hundred came in the box.  Sadly, I was informed that the box wouldn’t last us six months like I had thought.
And today, after Mass, another parishioner came up to us and congratulated us (after politely saying she didn’t want to jump to any conclusions).  It’s really nice to have it out there.  And even though we don’t have all of the questions answered, I’m enjoying this father-to-be stuff.
Although it would be much tougher if I was going through everything The Civee is feeling.  She’s (and all mothers to be are) definitely a champ.

When you find out you’re going to be a parent, you also learn a bunch of things that TV and the movies don’t teach you about the whole having a baby thing.

Everyone knows it will change your life.  But until you’re in that situation, and you start learning and talking to people, you never realize how much it will change your life.  Similarly, there are a whole slew of health issues that could throw a wrench into everything.  Most of those health issues pop up before the end of the first trimester (12 weeks).  Once you pass that 12-week mark, things remarkably improve.

Because of this, The Civee and I decided to wait to tell people when we first found out she was pregnant.  We weren’t ready to answer all of the life questions that people would have.  Also, we wanted to have our first doctor’s visit and make sure everything was in the right place before filling other people in.  I wrote about it ninja-style earlier this month, and since then, we’ve slowly started to let others know.

Well, now we’re out of the first trimester, and it’s not a secret anymore (also, she’s starting to show, so we wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret much longer), we’re starting to really feel like parents-to-be.

Yesterday, because there was a sale at Costco, we bought a box of diapers.  Two hundred came in the box.  Sadly, I was informed that the box wouldn’t last us six months like I had thought.

And today, after Mass, another parishioner came up to us and congratulated us (after politely saying she didn’t want to jump to any conclusions).  It’s really nice to have it out there.  And even though we don’t have all of the questions answered, I’m enjoying this father-to-be stuff.

Although it would be much tougher to enjoy if I was going through everything The Civee is feeling.  She’s definitely a champ (as are all other expecting mothers).

Things I'm Looking Forward To

I’m sure there are a few things I’m leaving out, but here are some things on the calendar:

October 7/8: MLB playoffs begin

October 27:  Release of Raditude, Weezer’s seventh Studio Album

November 26: Thanksgiving

December 25: Christmas

February 2010: Final season of Lost begins

February 14, 2010: Pitchers and catchers report/International Weezer Day

March 28, 2010: Wrestlemania XXVI/MLB Opening Day (a.k.a. The Days of Greatness)

April 7 (est.), 2010: The Civee and I are havin’ a baby.