Runs in the family

So I got a call earlier from my father. He and my brother went to tonight’s Yankees game.

He tells me he’s in the stadium store and asks me if there’s anything I want.

Me: “What do they have?”

Him: “They have sweat shirts, t-shirts, like the one I’m wearing.”

And I thought I gave dumb replies to serious questions.

That’s how you main event, brother!

For years, I was a huge wrestling fan (although Stone Cold Steve Austin once told me that I didn’t look that huge, but that’s another story).

I really don’t follow wrestling regularly anymore, but I still catch the occasional tv show or big pay per view and I have a near-encyclopedic memory of all the wrestling I have seen, good and bad.

Last (Sunday) night was Summer Slam, the WWF/E’s second (or third, depending on who you talk to) biggest card of the year. A group of my associates and I gathered at Iron Mike’s CribZoneTM to watch the PPV.

The card, on paper, was decent. But it was one of the most bizarre shows I’ve ever seen. Nevertheless, the experience was entertaining.

The show opened with Chris Benoit v. some joker named Orlando Jordan. The match had shades of King Kong Bundy v. S.D. Jones and the Ultimate Warrior v. the Honky Tonk Man. The match ended in 15 seconds- with the only result that we would have accepted- Benoit winning.

The next two matches were bizarre, as the grudge match between Matt Hardy and Edge was stopped by the referee 5 minutes in and Rey Mysterio and Eddy Guerrero had the worst ladder match ever. Not only did Mysterio and Guerrero blow every other spot in the match, but every 20 seconds, the camera took a shot of Rey’s kid, who the winner got custody of.

Kurt Angle v. Eugene was good, the wrong guy won Cena v. Jericho and Batista v. JBL was like the ’86 Worlds Series to me- I didn’t want either guy to win.

As far as the main event, Shawn Michaels v. Hulk Hogan went, it was a decent match, but hardly “the match of Hogan’s career” as was claimed. Michaels did a perfect impersonation of Ric Flair, not just in his mannerisms, but also carrying the whole match. It’s sad- because Hogan really can’t do anything other than punch, fall, HulkUp, punch, kick and leg drop. But for this show, it was a good main event.

Wasn’t what I’d call a “great” show, but it was fun nonetheless. I still don’t get why Vince pushes certain guys, but at least HHH wasn’t involved.

The show wasn’t enough to get me back into wrestling full time, but I may check it out if the TV is on and not tuned into a Yankees game.

But looks like once again I’m hosting the (now) annual King Tom WrestleMania bash. Should be fun.

Last week, the WWF/E brought back Kamala, the Ugandan Giant. Hopefully by Wrestlemania, they’ll be bringing back this guy:

Hus! Hus! Hus!

Bidness Cards

Recently at my place of employment, we’ve had a lot of people moving around, changing departments and job titles.

My department, Public Affairs is in charge of getting new business cards for employees- and I was asked if I needed any new cards. I said I didn’t, but was still offered the chance to order some new cards- in case I wanted to change my title.

My title right now is “Public Affairs Coordinator,” which is an apt description of what I do. Technically, I’m classified as a Public Information Officer, but I don’t deal much (at all) with the media. After thinking about it, I declined to change my title. But I did spend a few minutes jotting some alternatives down. Some of which actually describe things I do.

-Pit Boss
-Philosopher King
-Verbiage Usage Coordinator
-Content Superintendent
-Carbon Mass
-O2 –> CO2 Conversion Coordinator (or H2O –> P Conversion coordinator)
-Conceptual Strategies Planner
-Columbus Traffic Patterns Analyst
-Snappy Banter
-Word Choice Critic
-Off-Site Hypertext Examiner
-If you only knew…
-Gets Things Done

The last one probably fits me best, but I doubt they’d let me use that. I really do like my job and what I do, but I’m fine staying as what I am now- I guess it helps me get more done that way.

You kids don’t know Grand Funk?!

So this weekend, I worked at the Ohio State Fair, manning a booth for my place of employment.

Believe it or not, working at the fair is actually fun. You get to meet the most interesting people. In the past, I’ve gotten people who want to know where the lottery booth is (right next to us, see the big “Ohio Lottery” sign), people who think my boss is going to be president, people who didn’t know my boss is black and one very special woman who’s dying husband’s last wish was go to to the free Grand Funk Railroad concert that night.

Unfortunately, I really didn’t get that many interesting people this weekend. No people attacking my place of employment for things that it doesn’t have anything to do with. No people trying to sell me alumining siding despite the fact that I’m trying to work. No people asking if they can use our computer to check their e-mail.

But still, it was fun. One letdown though: every time I go, on my way in, I have this plan to sample a wide variety of fair food. But Saturday was too damn hot to do anything outside. I got a corn dog and a lemonade, but other than that, it was approaching 100 and the last thing I wanted to do was walk around in the search for fried food.

And I still haven’t found the elusive Pancake-in-a-Tube.

A role model

Ten years ago today, I was weeks away from moving off to college. It was a fun summer, but I remember August 13, 1995 pretty clearly.

It was a Sunday, and I really didn’t have anything planned that day- but early in the morning, I could tell something was up- my father didn’t seem to be himself. Mickey Mantle, my father’s favorite ball player, who he said was the best he’d ever seen, had died.

I had never seen Mantle play. Way too young for that. I grew up watching Mattingly and Winfield, and more recently (for ’95), Paul O’Neill and Mike Stanley. But I knew the way my father talked about him that Mickey was special.

We knew he was sick. The video interview with him in a Yankee jersey that looked to be too big for him, saying “I”m a role model kids, don’t be like me” must have been hard to take for a lot of people who grew up idolizing the man. Thing is, no one talks about ballplayers the way people talked about The Mick.

I never got to watch you play, but thank you Mickey.

It’s been my lifelong dream to…

Earlier this week, some dumb kid took the Nestea Plunge at Yankee Stadium.

I’m probably not alone in admitting this (maybe I am), but there’s always been a part of me that wanted to do that. Guess I’ve always been curious about what it would be like to jump into the net from the upper deck- not that I’d do it in the middle of a game, much less actually do it from the upper deck.

Although it’s a good thing he didn’t do it in ’98. For some reason, the Yankees removed the top part of the net for that year, which was an issue between my father and I. He said it wasn’t needed. On the other hand, I thought the top part of the net was an invaluable part of the Yankee Stadium experience.

The top of the net led up to the luxury boxes. The people in the luxury boxes would bring fishing nets to grab foul balls that rolled up to them after landing on the top of the net. Most of the times, they’d miss. And when they did, the crowd would boo. I know it’s weird, but stuff like that entertains me. Adds to the ball game, you know?

Oh Canada!

Received a call tonight from someone who’s supposed to be on vacation. It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least.

Anyways, I’m a fan of the New York American League franchise. I’ve been called an obnixous Yankees fan, and that’s a distinction I hold with pride. 99% of the time, win or lose, I am happy and support the team, but there is one player who I cannot bring myself to support.

Anthony Darrell Womack.

Tony Womack is the worst position player I have ever seen (and I’ve watched Alvaro Espinoza, Oscar Azocar and Bobby Meacham). Sure, Womack may have hit .300 last year, but his presence in a lineup means you may just as well start awarding runs to the other team.

There are players that for karmic reasons, I don’t want on the Yankees. This is a select group. Not necessarily because they’re bad players, but just because of things they’ve done in the past. And I’ve said that when these players become Yankees, they will absolutely suck.

To wit:

-Todd Zeile, in game 3 of the 1996 ALCS, tried faking a throw to second on a Tino Martinez double with Bernie Williams on third. The ball ended up in the dirt, allowing Williams to score. In 2003, he was signed to a $1.5 million contract and batted .210 in 66 games for the Yankees.

-Armando Benitez, who in a highly controversial game at Yankee Stadium in May of ’98 gave up a game-tying home run to Bernie Williams. The next batter up, Tino Martinez, received a fastball in the middle of the back, inciting a bench-clearing brawl (which saw Graeme Lloyd run in from the bullpen ready to open a can of whoop-ass). In mid-’03, the Yankees obtained him from the Mets for three minor leaguers. He lasted a few weeks before being dealt to Seattle for Jeff Nelson.

There are others, but these are the two that come to mind right now. And Womack (for his double in Game 7 of the 2004 WS, not to mention his general suckiness) is one of them.

Why couldn’t they have signed Placido Polanco instead?

For more reading on what Womack has brought to this glorious franchise, read this excellent entry by Larry Mahnken of the Replacement Level Yankees Weblog.

By the bye, 31 in a row. This man is amazing.

I was just made by the Prybesterian Church

Tonight, I went to see Star Wars, Episode III, Revenge of the Sith (or Backstroke of the West as it’s known in some circles).

I had nothing else really to do tonight and I figured there won’t be many more times that I can say a Star Wars movie is playing in the movie theaters, so I went (even though I succumbed to the same logic last month).

I really don’t have much to add to my original review, other than to say that I still like this movie.

Interesting thing though, there were about 25 or so people there. On a Tuesday night. In a real theater. To see Star Wars. So I don’t feel all guilty (not that I would regardless).

So that’s all I have to say about that.

My only other thing for today is actually related to work. For the past few months, I’ve been working on a project with another division to produce an information CD for customers. This was something that they came to us with back in May, saying it needed to be done the next day. Well, it’s three months later and they still don’t know what they’re doing with it.

Not only that, but they’re very confused about the whole concept as a whole. For instance, today, I received an e-mail which asked just the following:

“Does the link have the file attached”

That’s all it said.

I don’t know what they’re asking. Of course, you can link to something, but I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to attach a file to a link.

Yes, I’m being picky. But I’ve had enough of their cluelessness and general lack of direction.

This may scare ya…

For some reason, I’ve been told I need a picture of the Burger King King up here. So here you go:

Not the King

Doesn’t look anything like me. For reference:

the King

Okay, it’s ten years old and it’s a drivers licence photo, but for some reason I really like that picture. And I really used to rock the Superman Curl.

I’m not coming off as vain here, am I?

Having worked in news for like five years (and having watched the news for much longer than that), I should say something about the passing of anchorman Peter Jennings (although, since he’s Canadian, shouldn’t it be anchourman?).

I never really cared for ABC news. Probably because my first-through-third grade babysitter insisted on watching the ABC news every night instead of whatever sitcom reruns were on WPIX at the time. I totally lost all respect for them as an organization around the turn of the century when they just decided to graphically edit out all of the NBC logos in Times Square. That’s a great company ethic there- just change reality to suit your needs.

(Even though I don’t care much for ABC, I still have some respect for Koppel and Donaldson. Guess that’s because they’re old school).

Working at NBC, I didn’t hear anything about Jennings. No idle rumors, no crazy-Dan Rather horror stories or Tom Brokaw idol worship. Jennings just existed. And even though I wasn’t watching, someone else did, so he must have had something going there.

Partially because it was such a big part of my life, I don’t watch news anymore. Instead, I get my news like Sledge Hammer, through rumor and small children.

Keep on truckin’!