Month: September 2007

Baseball is fun

The Yankees are officially in the postseason.

The Yankees Clinch
And while I didn’t blog about it here back in the days when they were 21-29, I always thought they’d be playing baseball in October. Yes, I’m a fanboy.Perhaps my favorite story from yesterday is the following line from the NY Daily News’ Yankees blog, featuring the awesome Joba Chamberlain:

Young players like Duncan and Joba Chamberlain were taking it all in as expected, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs with each drop that hit them.
…
Joba gets my favorite line of the night: After having two ice cold beers poured over his head, he shrieked that they were freezing, then said, “Dude, my nipples are so hard!”

Kids today.

Going from the Yankees to another team, the gang at noMaas.org is enamored with the following picture of Red Sox closer Jon Papelbon from an article on SI.com:

Jon-boy has a tiny mouth.
I agree with the noMaas gang. He’s not intimidating. If I were a batter and saw that standing on the pitchers mound, I’d laugh my way out of the batters box.But I don’t think he’s got a coin slot on his face. I think he’s trying to make his mouth as small as humanly possible. To paraphrase some movie: if you stuck a lump of coal in there, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.

King Tom

They should've used a mail truck

Yet another case of life imitating Seinfeld:

Authorities said they arrested 13 people and seized more than $500,000 in cash after breaking up a smuggling ring that collected millions of beverage containers in other states and cashed them in for 10 cents apiece in Michigan.
…
A total of 15 people were named in a 67-count warrant issued as part of Operation Can Scam, Attorney General Mike Cox said Wednesday.
…
The scheme defrauded the Michigan Bottle Deposit Fund, whose proceeds are used to pay for environmental cleanup efforts.

The source article even mentions the Seinfeld link.

But at least Kramer and Newman didn’t get caught by the authorities.

King Tom

Exciting Things Happen On Staten Island

The next installment the Grand Theft Auto franchise is supposed to come out next year. I’m a big fan of the three versions of GTA3, and while I don’t have a next-gen (or current gen) gaming system, I’ve been looking forward to GTA 4, which is supposed to feature a near-close version of New York City as its playing area.

However, I was a bit offended the other day when I read that the forthcoming game would not feature Staten Island, because (according to Wikipedia):

Rockstar believes it would not be fun to play there

Not be fun? We’re talking about the home of what was the world’s largest garbage dump! New Dorp! The fishin’ hole! And now, the mysterious Ninja Burglar!

He is brazen enough to enter a home through an open garage door in the morning and sneaky enough to slip through a skylight under the cover of night. He always wears a black ski mask, seems to consider himself a jewel thief and strikes with a disregard for whether anyone is home.

And to anyone who would take the other side in the great Ninjas versus Pirates debate, I ask you, who ever heard of a Pirate Burglar?

King Tom1 Comment

Limousine Riding, Loan Underwriting

I haven’t watched wrestling in a few months, so I can’t say I know what’s going on with the storylines, other than hearing that Vince McMahon’s illegitimate child is a midget.

But back at WrestleMania, I was shocked (shocked!) to see that Ric Flair was only featured on the card as part of a dark match. I’m guessing that because he’s been shuffled down the card, he’s seeking other career opportunities, like financing loans.

For some reason, I don’t think the Civee and I would have gone with the Nature Boy for our car loan.

King Tom

Living in the past

Saturday was my 30th birthday.

Because of the car situation, The Civee and I spent the day looking at cars. By the end of the day, we had made a deal to buy one. Throughout the day, we had to fill out so many forms that I was confusing my birthyear with the current year, and on at least two forms I had interpolated the two dates. The Civee and I had a laugh about it. But the damage was much more extensive.

Shortly after arriving at work this morning, a co-worker from HR visited me with two forms that I had filled out on Friday (the 14th). On one, I had signed and put the current date of 14 September 1977. And on the other, even more inexplicably, I had the current date as 15 November 2007.

This really isn’t surprising, because sometimes, while writing checks, I’ll write the year as 2004. Nice to know I’m barely 30 and already senile.

King Tom

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy

Mel Hall, who was a non-performing outfielder on some really bad Yankees teams in the early 90s, was indicted earlier this week on child sex charges.

I can’t say it’s a surprise, because back when he was a Yankee, Mel took a 16-year-old to her prom.

Mel also had a wonderful, outgoing personality, which, according to Joel Sherman’s book Birth of a Dynasty, he used to torture then-rookie Bernie Williams:

Hall taped “Mr. Zero” to the top of Williams’s locker to signify that he meant nothing to the team. One day Hall nearly brought Williams to tears by saying, “Zero, shut up,” every time Williams tried to speak. The more Williams tried, the louder Hall interrupted with repetitive chants of “Zero.”

Of course, Mel retired with a .276 lifetime batting average, no postseason or All Star appearances and made about $6 million from his years in the big leagues.

Meanwhile, the so-called Mr. Zero is a multi-time All Star, Worlds Series champion, has a .297 lifetime batting average, is a borderline hall of famer, has the respect of Yankees fans everywhere, earned about 17 times more than Mel earned and put out an album praised by Paul McCartney.

Oh yeah, and Bernie isn’t a social pariah now, either.

King Tom

Rob Thomas = Ripoff Artist

The Civee is a fan of Rob Thomas, frontman of Matchbox 20. While I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to him, I’ve never been offended by his music. Until now.

Last year, The Civee couldn’t stop listening to Thomas’ single, Ever the Same. I noted at the time that the song bore a similarity to “i hope…”, a song by Cincinnati independent musician Ryan Adcock (incidentally, whose song “Drive to Hallelujah” we used as the first dance at our wedding).

Now, Thomas is reunited with his band, and the other day, The Civee was listening to their newest single, “How Far We’ve Come.” The first thing I noticed was the similarity to the song “Wussypuff” by the criminally-underrated Dynamite Hack.

If the Chiffons can sue George Harrison over My Sweet Lord and win, I say that Adcock and the Hack should start calling their lawyers, because to me, Rob Thomas is making a career of ripping off lesser-known artists.

King Tom

It's finally Friday

I’m glad this week is over (in the weekday sense, not the literal sense).

Both The Civee and I have been sick all week. I had a root canal done on Tuesday. And a few hours after said procedure, an uninsured, unlicensed driver did this to our car:

We’re both okay and dealing with the insurance company to get it fixed. Till then, I have to go in the other side and climb over the middle. So yeah, driving anywhere is real fun right now.

King Tom