Children From the Produce Aisle

Being a first-time expectant father, I have a lot to learn about the pregnancy process.

Relatively speaking, men have it easy for the nine months their significant other is pregnant.  So in an effort to be a good husband, I’ve taken it upon myself to learn as much about what the Civee is going through as possible.  However, in my effort to be studious, I’ve also become quite bewildered.

In an effort to explain what the baby is like at a certain point during the pregnancy, many books and Web sites will liken the baby’s size or weight to an outside-the-womb item.  That’s all fine and dandy.  However, most of these sources like to compare the baby to a fruit or vegetable.  Take, for example, the bountiful resource babycenter.com.  In their “Your Pregnancy: Week by Week” section, they liken a baby’s progression to the following:

  • sesame seed
  • lentil bean
  • blueberry
  • kidney bean
  • grape
  • kumquat
  • fig
  • lime
  • lemon
  • apple
  • avocado
  • turnip
  • bell pepper
  • large heirloom tomato
  • banana
  • carrot
  • spaghetti squash
  • large mango
  • ear of corn
  • average rutabaga
  • English hothouse cucumber
  • head of cauliflower
  • Chinese cabbage
  • butternut squash
  • try carrying four navel oranges
  • large jicama
  • a pineapple
  • your average cantaloupe
  • honeydew melon
  • crenshaw melon
  • a stalk of Swiss chard
  • a leek
  • a mini watermelon
  • small pumpkin

Right now, The Civee’s at week 23.  It’s weird and frightening to picture her giving birth to a large mango.  But beyond that, I’m not sure what a rutabaga looks like.  I have no idea how a crenshaw melon is different than a honeydew melon.  And I thought English cucumbers were always wrapped in plastic.

It would be nice if they could think of other real-world items (weighs as much as a can of paint, as big as a Playstation controller) that they could compare the baby to.   I applaud the creativity, but comparing a baby to fruits and vegetables is confusing, and scary when one is in the middle of the produce aisle trying to pick out a good kumquat or jicama.