King Tom's Kingdom

Welcome to the blog!

King Tom — Sat, 06 Aug 2005 05:17:07 +0000

Hi. Well, I'm new here, but I'm not new here. I'm just seeing how things look for now. Thank you to prissed.com for the layout. I'm still working on it. And thanks to Dangerous DJL for letting me be part of the Jamootz Superpak family.

Ahem

King Tom — Sat, 06 Aug 2005 20:35:15 +0000

I'm just testing something out here.

Hello there

King Tom — Mon, 08 Aug 2005 02:36:27 +0000

Well, I'm still working with this. I like the blue-ness of the page, but I have a lot to learn about stylesheets (or the manipluation of pre-made style sheets), so this layout/look may change whenever I feel like it (or decide to fool around). As I mentioned earlier, I'd like to thanks djl for helping me with this (and you're probably my only audience at this point, but oh well) and for introducing me to Gimp, an image manipulation program that's pretty kick ass. I used it to make the logo at the top of this very blog, which is much more "solid-state" than the web site logo I did for my page back in '96: Ohhhh...a transparency!! That is pretty solid-state for '96! Anyway, creating this blog gave me something to do this weekend. Not that I didn't do anything else this weekend, because I did (I'll save that story for another time) . But my betrothed, "The Civee" (she says that's what "they" call her) is in Canada for the next week, and I just felt like I needed something to do. I'd ramble more, but I don't think this could get any more pointless. Excelsior!

This may scare ya…

King Tom — Tue, 09 Aug 2005 01:52:23 +0000

For some reason, I've been told I need a picture of the Burger King King up here. So here you go: Doesn't look anything like me. For reference: Okay, it's ten years old and it's a drivers licence photo, but for some reason I really like that picture. And I really used to rock the Superman Curl. I'm not coming off as vain here, am I? Having worked in news for like five years (and having watched the news for much longer than that), I should say something about the passing of anchorman Peter Jennings (although, since he's Canadian, shouldn't it be anchourman?). I never really cared for ABC news. Probably because my first-through-third grade babysitter insisted on watching the ABC news every night instead of whatever sitcom reruns were on WPIX at the time. I totally lost all respect for them as an organization around the turn of the century when they just decided to graphically edit out all of the NBC logos in Times Square. That's a great company ethic there- just change reality to suit your needs. (Even though I don't care much for ABC, I still have some respect for Koppel and Donaldson. Guess that's because they're old school). Working at NBC, I didn't hear anything about Jennings. No idle rumors, no crazy-Dan Rather horror stories or Tom Brokaw idol worship. Jennings just existed. And even though I wasn't watching, someone else did, so he must have had something going there. Partially because it was such a big part of my life, I don't watch news anymore. Instead, I get my news like Sledge Hammer, through rumor and small children. Keep on truckin'!

I was just made by the Prybesterian Church

King Tom — Wed, 10 Aug 2005 03:04:23 +0000

Tonight, I went to see Star Wars, Episode III, Revenge of the Sith (or Backstroke of the West as it's known in some circles). I had nothing else really to do tonight and I figured there won't be many more times that I can say a Star Wars movie is playing in the movie theaters, so I went (even though I succumbed to the same logic last month). I really don't have much to add to my original review, other than to say that I still like this movie. Interesting thing though, there were about 25 or so people there. On a Tuesday night. In a real theater. To see Star Wars. So I don't feel all guilty (not that I would regardless). So that's all I have to say about that. My only other thing for today is actually related to work. For the past few months, I've been working on a project with another division to produce an information CD for customers. This was something that they came to us with back in May, saying it needed to be done the next day. Well, it's three months later and they still don't know what they're doing with it. Not only that, but they're very confused about the whole concept as a whole. For instance, today, I received an e-mail which asked just the following: "Does the link have the file attached" That's all it said. I don't know what they're asking. Of course, you can link to something, but I'm pretty sure it's impossible to attach a file to a link. Yes, I'm being picky. But I've had enough of their cluelessness and general lack of direction.

Oh Canada!

King Tom — Fri, 12 Aug 2005 03:32:22 +0000

Received a call tonight from someone who's supposed to be on vacation. It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least. Anyways, I'm a fan of the New York American League franchise. I've been called an obnixous Yankees fan, and that's a distinction I hold with pride. 99% of the time, win or lose, I am happy and support the team, but there is one player who I cannot bring myself to support. Anthony Darrell Womack. Tony Womack is the worst position player I have ever seen (and I've watched Alvaro Espinoza, Oscar Azocar and Bobby Meacham). Sure, Womack may have hit .300 last year, but his presence in a lineup means you may just as well start awarding runs to the other team. There are players that for karmic reasons, I don't want on the Yankees. This is a select group. Not necessarily because they're bad players, but just because of things they've done in the past. And I've said that when these players become Yankees, they will absolutely suck. To wit: -Todd Zeile, in game 3 of the 1996 ALCS, tried faking a throw to second on a Tino Martinez double with Bernie Williams on third. The ball ended up in the dirt, allowing Williams to score. In 2003, he was signed to a $1.5 million contract and batted .210 in 66 games for the Yankees. -Armando Benitez, who in a highly controversial game at Yankee Stadium in May of '98 gave up a game-tying home run to Bernie Williams. The next batter up, Tino Martinez, received a fastball in the middle of the back, inciting a bench-clearing brawl (which saw Graeme Lloyd run in from the bullpen ready to open a can of whoop-ass). In mid-'03, the Yankees obtained him from the Mets for three minor leaguers. He lasted a few weeks before being dealt to Seattle for Jeff Nelson. There are others, but these are the two that come to mind right now. And Womack (for his double in Game 7 of the 2004 WS, not to mention his general suckiness) is one of them. Why couldn't they have signed Placido Polanco instead? For more reading on what Womack has brought to this glorious franchise, read this excellent entry by Larry Mahnken of the Replacement Level Yankees Weblog. By the bye, 31 in a row. This man is amazing.

It’s been my lifelong dream to…

King Tom — Fri, 12 Aug 2005 10:42:18 +0000

Earlier this week, some dumb kid took the Nestea Plunge at Yankee Stadium. I'm probably not alone in admitting this (maybe I am), but there's always been a part of me that wanted to do that. Guess I've always been curious about what it would be like to jump into the net from the upper deck- not that I'd do it in the middle of a game, much less actually do it from the upper deck. Although it's a good thing he didn't do it in '98. For some reason, the Yankees removed the top part of the net for that year, which was an issue between my father and I. He said it wasn't needed. On the other hand, I thought the top part of the net was an invaluable part of the Yankee Stadium experience. The top of the net led up to the luxury boxes. The people in the luxury boxes would bring fishing nets to grab foul balls that rolled up to them after landing on the top of the net. Most of the times, they'd miss. And when they did, the crowd would boo. I know it's weird, but stuff like that entertains me. Adds to the ball game, you know?

A role model

King Tom — Sat, 13 Aug 2005 11:41:11 +0000

Ten years ago today, I was weeks away from moving off to college. It was a fun summer, but I remember August 13, 1995 pretty clearly. It was a Sunday, and I really didn't have anything planned that day- but early in the morning, I could tell something was up- my father didn't seem to be himself. Mickey Mantle, my father's favorite ball player, who he said was the best he'd ever seen, had died. I had never seen Mantle play. Way too young for that. I grew up watching Mattingly and Winfield, and more recently (for '95), Paul O'Neill and Mike Stanley. But I knew the way my father talked about him that Mickey was special. We knew he was sick. The video interview with him in a Yankee jersey that looked to be too big for him, saying "I"m a role model kids, don't be like me" must have been hard to take for a lot of people who grew up idolizing the man. Thing is, no one talks about ballplayers the way people talked about The Mick. I never got to watch you play, but thank you Mickey.

You kids don’t know Grand Funk?!

King Tom — Mon, 15 Aug 2005 10:42:57 +0000

So this weekend, I worked at the Ohio State Fair, manning a booth for my place of employment. Believe it or not, working at the fair is actually fun. You get to meet the most interesting people. In the past, I've gotten people who want to know where the lottery booth is (right next to us, see the big "Ohio Lottery" sign), people who think my boss is going to be president, people who didn't know my boss is black and one very special woman who's dying husband's last wish was go to to the free Grand Funk Railroad concert that night. Unfortunately, I really didn't get that many interesting people this weekend. No people attacking my place of employment for things that it doesn't have anything to do with. No people trying to sell me alumining siding despite the fact that I'm trying to work. No people asking if they can use our computer to check their e-mail. But still, it was fun. One letdown though: every time I go, on my way in, I have this plan to sample a wide variety of fair food. But Saturday was too damn hot to do anything outside. I got a corn dog and a lemonade, but other than that, it was approaching 100 and the last thing I wanted to do was walk around in the search for fried food. And I still haven't found the elusive Pancake-in-a-Tube.

Bidness Cards

King Tom — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 02:38:36 +0000

Recently at my place of employment, we've had a lot of people moving around, changing departments and job titles. My department, Public Affairs is in charge of getting new business cards for employees- and I was asked if I needed any new cards. I said I didn't, but was still offered the chance to order some new cards- in case I wanted to change my title. My title right now is "Public Affairs Coordinator," which is an apt description of what I do. Technically, I'm classified as a Public Information Officer, but I don't deal much (at all) with the media. After thinking about it, I declined to change my title. But I did spend a few minutes jotting some alternatives down. Some of which actually describe things I do. -Pit Boss -Philosopher King -Centerfield -Verbiage Usage Coordinator -Content Superintendent -Carbon Mass -O₂ --> CO₂ Conversion Coordinator (or H₂O --> P Conversion coordinator) -Conceptual Strategies Planner -Columbus Traffic Patterns Analyst -Snappy Banter -Word Choice Critic -Tall -YankeeFan -Off-Site Hypertext Examiner -If you only knew... -Gets Things Done The last one probably fits me best, but I doubt they'd let me use that. I really do like my job and what I do, but I'm fine staying as what I am now- I guess it helps me get more done that way.

That’s how you main event, brother!

King Tom — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 03:08:32 +0000

For years, I was a huge wrestling fan (although Stone Cold Steve Austin once told me that I didn't look that huge, but that's another story). I really don't follow wrestling regularly anymore, but I still catch the occasional tv show or big pay per view and I have a near-encyclopedic memory of all the wrestling I have seen, good and bad. Last (Sunday) night was Summer Slam, the WWF/E's second (or third, depending on who you talk to) biggest card of the year. A group of my associates and I gathered at Iron Mike's CribZone^TM to watch the PPV. The card, on paper, was decent. But it was one of the most bizarre shows I've ever seen. Nevertheless, the experience was entertaining. The show opened with Chris Benoit v. some joker named Orlando Jordan. The match had shades of King Kong Bundy v. S.D. Jones and the Ultimate Warrior v. the Honky Tonk Man. The match ended in 15 seconds- with the only result that we would have accepted- Benoit winning. The next two matches were bizarre, as the grudge match between Matt Hardy and Edge was stopped by the referee 5 minutes in and Rey Mysterio and Eddy Guerrero had the worst ladder match ever. Not only did Mysterio and Guerrero blow every other spot in the match, but every 20 seconds, the camera took a shot of Rey's kid, who the winner got custody of. Kurt Angle v. Eugene was good, the wrong guy won Cena v. Jericho and Batista v. JBL was like the '86 Worlds Series to me- I didn't want either guy to win. As far as the main event, Shawn Michaels v. Hulk Hogan went, it was a decent match, but hardly "the match of Hogan's career" as was claimed. Michaels did a perfect impersonation of Ric Flair, not just in his mannerisms, but also carrying the whole match. It's sad- because Hogan really can't do anything other than punch, fall, HulkUp, punch, kick and leg drop. But for this show, it was a good main event. Wasn't what I'd call a "great" show, but it was fun nonetheless. I still don't get why Vince pushes certain guys, but at least HHH wasn't involved. The show wasn't enough to get me back into wrestling full time, but I may check it out if the TV is on and not tuned into a Yankees game. But looks like once again I'm hosting the (now) annual King Tom WrestleMania bash. Should be fun. Last week, the WWF/E brought back Kamala, the Ugandan Giant. Hopefully by Wrestlemania, they'll be bringing back this guy:

Runs in the family

King Tom — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 01:10:08 +0000

So I got a call earlier from my father. He and my brother went to tonight's Yankees game. He tells me he's in the stadium store and asks me if there's anything I want. Me: "What do they have?" Him: "They have sweat shirts, t-shirts, like the one I'm wearing." And I thought I gave dumb replies to serious questions.

Would be nice

King Tom — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 03:52:35 +0000

Weekly fan image, from homestarrunner.com: Think The Civee would consider using these for our invitations?

The Numbers Game

King Tom — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 02:55:09 +0000

I was talking with an associate at work today about the other words we use for numbers, like couple, some, many, etc. We came up with the following: 1- one, obviously 2- a couple 3- a few 4- some 5- many 6- six-pack/half-a-dozen 7- a lot 8- a buttload 9- a crapload The system falls apart after this, which only makes sense- because it's just lazy trying to find another way to say ten.

Finally…weezer tix

King Tom — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 03:07:01 +0000

After trying multiple times since Friday night, I've finally gotten through Ticketmaster's crappy online ordering system and have tickets for the weezer show in Cleveland on October 8. It's part of the Foo-Weez tour, and word on the street is that they're trading off headlining for each show. Let's hope the Cleveland show is one that weezer headlines. Doesn't look like the band will be playing Columbus this go-around, so unfortunately, Weez-a-palooza '05 may not happen.

Bud’s just a sucker with low self-esteem.

King Tom — Wed, 31 Aug 2005 10:55:49 +0000

I'm not a fan of David Wells. Sure, he was a Yankee, but this is the same guy who left game five of the World Series in the second inning because of a bad back after shooting his mouth off about how great his conditioning was. Not to mention he got his teeth knocked out by a guy half his size in a diner fight. But now his big mouth is getting him in trouble with commissioner combover. Okay, Wells thinks Selig is an idiot. Who doesn't? Wells disagrees with the sport's steroid policy. Is he not allowed to? Looks to me like there's no free speech in MLB, and anyone who disagrees with Bud faces a fate worse than those who fail their steroid tests. And what's with the statement from Wells' organization?

... the comments made by David today regarding the Commissioner of Baseball do not in any way reflect the views of the Club. The Club believes the Commissioner has demonstrated visionary leadership and integrity, and we recognize that his contributions to the game have been enormous. Thus, we apologize to the Commissioner.

What alternate universe are they living in? Visionary leadership? Integrity? Are we talking about the same person that: -Acted as a team owner AND commissioner for 10 years? -Let the 1994 strike pretty much just happen? -Oversaw the bag job that allowed his friends to swap the Marlins for the Red Sox, while stiffing Boston charities in the process? Sounds like Theo, Larry, et al. are bending over backwards to kiss Bud's ass on this one.

Mea Culpa

King Tom — Wed, 31 Aug 2005 23:35:03 +0000

I want to apologize for a grevious error. In my barely-awake state writing this morning's entry, I neglected to list among the many examples of the incompetency of Bud Selig his robbing the people of Montreal of Baseball. To make up for this, I rip off an image provided by our network's flagship station: And for our French-speaking friends: Je veux faire des excuses pour une erreur grevious. Dans le mon nu-réveillez l'état écrivant l'entrée de ce matin, j'a négligé pour énumérer parmi les nombreux exemples de l'incompétence du bourgeon Selig le sien volant le peuple Montréal de base-ball. Pour compenser ceci, je déchire outre d'une image fournie par la station du navire amiral de notre réseau:

Some People Have Way Too Much Time On Their Hands, Vol. I

King Tom — Fri, 02 Sep 2005 10:52:57 +0000

I don't know how this guy got all this information, but the results of every Hulk Hogan match, ever: www.freewebs.com/hoganresults/index.htm Just glancing through it, I've actually been to three of his matches: 5/8/86 v. the Magnificent Muraco 8/4/86 v. Adorable Adrian Adonis in a Lumberjack Match 6/23/02 losing to Kurt Angle at King of the Ring Actually, if you count closed-circuit viewing, I also saw his WrestleMania 2 match v. King Kong Bundy live. Crazy stuff there.

Getting Dramatic For A Minute

King Tom — Fri, 02 Sep 2005 11:05:43 +0000

On here, I've kind of been ignoring the big story that you can't get away from anywhere else. Maybe because to an extent, I really didn't have anything new to say about Hurricane Katrina. It's been a horrible event and one of America's great cities will never be the same. The lives of hundreds of thousands of people have been ruined. It will take years and a lot of money to recover. I have family in the area, most of them out of the city, but some still feeling the effects. My grandparents live about an hour north of New Orleans and haven't had power or water all week. Yesterday, I found out that my mother, who was in Texas on a business trip, got a rental car, filled it up with water, food and gas, and drove to my grandparents and intends to stay with them a few days. She and my grandparents are not in the immediate area feeling the brunt of the hurricane, but it just feels wrong that in this age of global telecommunications that I can't contact them. I know everything will be fine, but until I hear something, I don't know what to think.

The weekend

King Tom — Tue, 06 Sep 2005 02:26:02 +0000

Went down to Cincinnati for the second half of the weekend. Caught the Riverfest fireworks shindig (well, the upper half of it anyway). For some reason, fireworks interest me more now than they did when I was a kid. Three things: 1) Heard from my mother. Everyone's okay. Every place, on the other hand, is a mess. B) Like always, I tried avoiding tv news. But I had to watch a little. The levels of stupidity uttered on cable news continue to amuze me: CNN Haircut: Chief Justice William Rhenquist died last night. We'll bring you the latest developments in that story. What "developments"? Last I checked, he was still dead. "Developments" is always something that annoyed me from my time in news. It's one of those words used when you don't have anything new to say about a situation but still want to make it sound important. 3) Earlier this year, I attended a Star Wars convention. This is a pretty accurate representation of the experience. Click on the period at the end for more.

No more zeppelin cam, please!

King Tom — Thu, 08 Sep 2005 02:35:52 +0000

Over the past two nights, the Yankees have been playing the Devil Rays. The games have been hard to watch, but not because the Devil Rays were ahead for most of the two games, but because of the YES network's constant use of a blimp-cam. I haven't seen every pitch of the two games, but I caught most of them and it felt like every other camera shot was overhead from that damn blimp. And I'll admit it was cool at first, and the last time they used it tonight, when Mariano entered from the pen (they took him all the way to the mound, then cut to a close-up of Hor-Hay handing him the ball while they piped in Enter Sandman from the stadium's PA system). But overall, it was nauseating. I've often said that if I had the YES Network, I wouldn't leave my house, but if they keep it up with the blimp cam, I'm going to go postal on that blimp. Speaking of TV, thanks to djl, I'm now addicted to Lost. For me, it's not on the Alias level (yet), mostly because it doesn't have a Jack Bristow or Sloane. But talk to me at the end of this TV season after real life has had its affect on the fortunes of Alias. And finally...back on a Tuesday in May, the director of another division at work came running (figuratively) to my group and said he needed us to start some urgent project. The due date was that Friday. We put together a workable version of what they asked for and presented it to them. But they didn't check with their people as to what other content was needed and asked us to hold off on it. It went through some major changes and while they needed it done post-haste, they took their sweet time getting their act together. Long story short, we sent out the project to a printer last week and got boxes of the item in early this morning. As much as I bitch about the news media, at least, for the most part, they know the meaning of the word deadline.

Stranger in a strange land

King Tom — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 03:54:33 +0000

I have to remember that on weekends in the fall and winter months not to wear anything that's grey or red lest one of the humanoids that follows the local college football team think I also support said team. On Saturday, I was wearing my C.G.N.U. t-shirt, and unfortunately, someone asked me if I was planning to watch the game that night. After I informed them that the game that mattered to me was over (even though the Yankees lost that day), they kind of just backed away. The weekend was good overall, except for the fact that for the fifth straight summer, the air conditioner in my apartment just died. The damn thing has never conked out during the week when they can fix it the next day. Instead, it always breaks on a Friday or Saturday so I get to spend a summer weekend wishing it was winter.

Pumpkin Land

King Tom — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 04:01:44 +0000

Yesterday, the Civee and I took a drive to Circleville. Didn't really have a reason, we just hit the road. And yes, I knew the pumpkin show is a few weeks away- but we just wanted to go somewhere. When we got there, we visited the Ted Lewis Museum, a quaint little memorial to one of America's biggest entertainers about 80 years ago or so. I had heard of Lewis from his performance in Abbot and Costello's Hold That Ghost, but thought he was just some lounge singer. Probably the most entertaining part of the trip was the tour guide, one of Lewis' most devoted fans. As she put it:

"Well, for me, there's my God, my husband, then Ted Lewis, then Tecumseh."

It was a fun little trip.

A statue with speed and elusiveness

King Tom — Tue, 13 Sep 2005 10:33:11 +0000

When I think of justice, unity and world peace, the Dragon usually isn't the first person who comes to mind. But I guess it's good that these people can agree on something: War-torn Bosnian town to build statue of Bruce Lee.

Must See TV

King Tom — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 02:18:32 +0000

I haven't been around here in a few days. I spent the last few days in Cincinnati. Also, I've been getting caught up on Lost- and I'm all ready to go for this season. I'll admit I was wrong about it, because a year ago I was bitter about Alias being pushed back 'till January while having to settle for (what I thought was) a Gilligan's Island ripoff, but in a way, I'm almost looking forward more to the new season of Lost than the new season of Alias. Speaking of television, today, I caught a commercial promising an all-new episode of the Simpsons tonight. I was a bit surprised, partially because I thought they were going to start the new season after the World's Series, but also, because a large part of me really didn't care if I caught it or not. I'm just not as into new Simpsons episodes as I used to be. Part of it's real life- I travel a lot on Sunday nights. But part of it is because they just aren't as good as they used to be. Every now and then, there's a great episode, like Jaws Wired Shut, or the Catch Me if You Can ripoff, but the quality has (in my opinion) dropped drastically. It's still a funny show, but the stories and characters aren't as deep and the constant guest star cameos are getting annoying. And the last time I caught a new episode- sometime last spring, it felt like the whole first block was taken up by them crediting all 103 producers who work on the show. Another part of it may be the DVDs. I've been looking through the 6th season set (which Christina got me for my birthday), and those were some quality shows. I have the other season sets also- and while the animation may not be up to today's standards, most of those shows are better than the new ones they're coming out with recently. Damn, I'm getting old. And for my Friday night dinner associates, I give you exotic fruit.

My favorite movies are rated arrrrrr…

King Tom — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 21:52:06 +0000

I can't believe I forgot today was Talk Like A Pirate Day. Now I have to bug everyone I talk to for the rest of the day with pirate jokes.

News and Views with King Tom

King Tom — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 02:44:42 +0000

Hey gang.... -So it's a half game, but the Yankees are in first. It's not much, but it's a start, and at this point in the season, I'll take it. -I was looking through my computer for some appropriate image to include here to celebrate the Yankees' return to first. Couldn't find anything that fit, but I did find this, from the great brawl of '98: Looking closer at the image, I have to ask, what in the world is Graeme Lloyd doing here: Looks like he's trying to use the Von Erich claw on Arthur Rhodes. Don't remember what Von Erich it was that used the claw-but didn't they all? Fritz? Kerry? Curly Joe Von Erich? -That Rivers Cuomo is one interesting fella. But if he's happy and at peace, who am I to judge? -For the first time, I watched an episode of Lost live. The pacing was real different than the DVD and I can kind of understand why they're drawing everything out. I'm avoiding spoilers, so it was nice to feel what Jack was feeling when he was seeing whatever the hell he was seeing. I did notice though a number of clues and other things to made me go hmmmmm throughout the episode. Gonna be an interesting season.

Concert etiquette/preference?

King Tom — Mon, 26 Sep 2005 02:03:00 +0000

Question for all you people out there: If you're going to a concert- do you listen to the band/act beforehand? (like on the drive to the show, or if you're just hanging out before hand) Just looking for other views to settle a disagreement.

SPHWTMTOTH, Volume 2

King Tom — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 10:34:27 +0000

Because it's on tonight: Lost nicknames

good career move, Beetlejuice!

King Tom — Thu, 29 Sep 2005 02:19:48 +0000

Lost was good. More clues and hints, but no real answers. The Michael/Sawyer stuff was unintentional comedy at its finest. I would say more, but I don't want to ruin it for those who haven't seen it. I read today that Michael Keaton was originally offered, but turned down the role of Jack Sheppard. Supposedly, he didn't want to do a TV show. You know, because the theaters were just packed when he did that movie about the guy who was reincarnated as a snowman.

Jack-Jack Attack!

King Tom — Thu, 29 Sep 2005 10:40:13 +0000

Tonight, one of the few TV shows I make it a point to watch, Alias, has it's fifth season premier. And while for now, I find Lost to be a more compelling show, Alias still has some great characters, especially Jack Bristow, played by Victor Garber. I've been thinking about this, and this Jack has a lot in common with another similarly named character, 24's Jack Bauer. The crack research staff at the King Tom Institute for Television Awareness have been combing through old shows and have put the following chart togetether. As Warner Wolf would say, "let's go to the videotape!" (Continued on the click-through for those of you who don't want to be spoiled by various 24 or Alias plot points)

Category	Jack Bristow	Jack Bauer
Age	50's	40's
Employment	Central Intelligence Agency. Formerly an undercover agent inside the SD-6 terrorist organization.	Counter-Terrorism Unit. Formerla an undercover agent inside the Salazar Brothers' drug cartel
Family	Wife, Laura/Irina, believed killed in the early 80's, later revealed to be alive, until Jack assassinated her, which wasn't really her. Daughter, Sydney, late 20's, also a spy.	Wife, Terri, killed while Jack was trying to take down Victor Drazen, Daughter, Kim, early 20's, notorious dullard
Betrayed by	Wife, who was a KGB spy.	Co-worker and one time fling, Nina, who was a CTU mole working for an unnamed European intelligence agency
Chemical Dependency	While in a delusional state, injected himself with experimental drugs to overcome radiation poisioning.	Became addicted to heroin while undercover with the Salazars.
Kills	Frequently	Frequently
Torture	Does it for fun.	Does it for fun, to impress the ladies
Protective of	Daughter	Daughter, President David Palmer
Attitude toward authority figures	Worked against friend Arvin Sloane to undermine SD-6, frequently goes off-book to get results.	Tranqued boss George Mason to get information, otherwise frequently goes off-book to get results.
Even Nostradamus has heart attacks	To get a suicide bomber to talk, Jack choked the guy, killing him, then brought him back to life. It worked.	To get Jack to talk, goons killed him, then brought him back to life. It didn't work.
May I marry your daughter?	To Suitor #2: It would be best if you killed your tratiorious wife and disposed of her remains first.	To Suitor #3: I know I shot you earlier today, but I really need to chop off your hand. Now where's me axe?
Place of residence	1930's style hotel-apartment. Also has numerous storage facilities with military grade weapons, millions of dollars and possibly personal nuclear weapons.	Formerly a subdivision. Later, a bachelor pad.
Parenting style	Brainwashed daughter at the age of six to ensure she would be a kick-ass spy.	Talked Kim through shooting an assailant over the phone.

Freedom

King Tom — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 10:47:04 +0000

-I don't know what took me so damn long, but I finally got some type of broadband Internet access. And it's like a whole new world. Or something. -Watched Alias last night. It was okay. I bought the explanation behind last season's cliffhanger. They didn't try and shoehorn it in too much. On the other hand, I'm not happy with the other big event, and if they did this because of her personal life, I'ma be really pissed off. -Yankees' magic number is 3. Gonna be an interesting weekend.

The season begins now

King Tom — Mon, 03 Oct 2005 04:09:09 +0000

As my associate GR pointed out yesterday, the Yankees clinched the American League East title for the eighth straight year. Yeah, they lost today, but I wasn't really thinking they'd win with Wright on the mound. Obviously, I"m glad they're in the post season. I had grown up watching the Yankees end their season in the regular season. And while for the past ten years, they've been in the post season, with their horrible start this year, I was looking at a possible return to the Octobers of my youth. (I'm beginning to sound poetic- I better stop). But the team pulled through and proved the naysayers wrong. I really believe the Yankees made some serious mistakes last off-season (Womack, relying on Sierra as a fourth outfielder, one of Wright/Pavano). But they've gotten some great contributions from the usual suspects (A-Rod, Jeter, Matsui, Sheffield, Rivera), some suprises (Chacon, Small, the Rookie Invasion minus Melky) and one player who got off the crockpot and proved everyone wrong (Giambi). It's been a fun season and I think this teams has 11 wins left in it. For the next few days, I'll be on the road for a work related trip throughout Southern Ohio. I have two goals: -to catch ALDS game one on TV -to make it back in time Wednesday night to catch Lost See you when I get back.

Here and there

King Tom — Fri, 07 Oct 2005 02:31:45 +0000

So I'm back from my jaunt through southern Ohio. The trip was productive, even if the towns I passed through/stayed in were unspectacular. The driving though, was fun. I was surprised by the number of interstate quality highways, especially U.S. 32. The best road (and of course, this was under optimal conditions), was OH-247 between Hillsboro and West Union. Lots of hills along that road, but still a fun drive. Monday night, I caught the special three-hour Raw, and while it wasn't enough to get me watching full-time again, it was an entertaining show. Two thoughts: -Was it me, or did Koko B. Ware have Frankie stuffed? -Did we really need to see the ~~Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man~~ oops, I mean ~~Shamu~~, oops (again) Triple H beat up Ric Flair for a whole 15 minutes? First of all, it made me want to throw up hearing Flair refer to Jean-Paul as the greatest wrestler ever, but then for JP to take out his roid rage on the Nature Boy was just a total waste of time. That's one of the big reasons I don't watch wrestling anymore. I spent Monday night in Piketon. As exciting as it sounds. Tuesday night was in Jackson, where they have a Bennigans. I ate at said Bennigans. Don't ask me how/why I remember this, but I also ate at a Bennigans the night Jack McDowell became the Yankee Flipper. I succeeded with my two goals, catching Tuesday's ALDS game one and making it home in time to catch Lost. I'm not worried about the Game 2 loss, but I'll be much happier when the Yankees put the Angels behind them. As for Lost: Damn, this show is addicting. It's getting weird, but that's what makes it fun. I also caught Alias tonight, and damn, I would have never though Ted Williams was behind it all.

At least they still have a chance

King Tom — Sat, 08 Oct 2005 15:03:29 +0000

So the Yankees are down in the ALDS two games to one. They've done it before and with Chacon and Musinna left to start, I think they can come from behind to advance to the ALCS. Especially if Torre returns to the Game One lineup, where everyone is most effective (Giambi in the field, Williams at DH and Crosby in center). Giambi might not be the best fielding first baseman, but at least he hits better when he's not sitting on the bench while the other team is at the plate. Speaking of Ghiambo, congratulations on winning Comeback Player of the Year, even if it was self-imposed. How great would it be if the trophy for said award was: And finally, I usually don't like to revel in the misfortune of others, but...oh, who am I kidding? When it comes to Boston, I do it on a daily basis. Anyway, with Boston losing, at least one great thing happened this post season. I did catch Konerko's home run in the sixth or whenever it was and I was thinking how great it would have been if he did this after hitting the ball: You know, Karma dictates something bad is gonna happen now. Maybe I should go out and help little old ladies cross the street or something.

Number Eight

King Tom — Sun, 09 Oct 2005 17:25:32 +0000

Last night, my associate Gianluigi and I drove up to Cleveland to catch the Weezer-Foo Fighters show at Cleveland State University. The Foo Fighters and openers Kaiser Chiefs rocked, but who am I kidding? I was only there to see one band, and the weez was worth it. Last night was the eighth time (in five years) that I've seen Weezer live. I can honestly say (and GL concurred with me on this one) that last night, they were musically at their best. In a way, it was almost like seeing an entirely different band. They've always been musically tight, never playing too sloppy. Last night though, they were all that and more. They rocked and had fun doing so. Lead singer/guitarist Rivers Cuomo was like a human dynamo. He was way more chatty than ever before, even taking a few minutes to talk about tour buses and drummer Pat Wilson's sick baby. Rivers also didn't mind letting others take the spotlight, letting every member of the band front at least one song. During El Scorcho, Rivers gave up lead guitar duties and actually walked/danced/staggered around the stage while singing. Like I said, totally different. Don't Let Go was different (in a good way), with a lot of synth added in the opening and solo. Sounded like a new song. Last time I saw the band, I was disappointed they didn't play This is Such a Pity, but they remedied that last night- and if I had to decide on one song, I'd say that was the song of the night. Some other highlights: -Brian sang lead on Why Bother, giving it a different feel- he also kicked some ass with the solo. -Scott singing lead on Dope Nose. I didn't see that one coming- and he did a great job. -First cover of the night: Big Me -Pat and Rivers switching drum and guitar duties for Photograph. After seeing Pat's hideous pants (And non-matching shirt), I can see why he sits behind the drum kit the other 99% of the time. Although, that was forgivable as he looked like he was really having fun with Photograph. At the end of the song, the whole band just busted into Song 2, in another WTF moment. GL said they missed the first verse, but it was still rocking. After a brief break, Rivers, from the back of the arena, played a solo acoustic version of Island in the Sun, then joined the band and a lucky fan onstage for Undone and Buddy Holly. Like I said, the Kaiser Chiefs and Foo Fighters were great too, but this was definitely the best weezer has ever been musically. There weren't any shenanigans like at the last weezer show (unless you count GL getting molested), but it was definitely a great time. Let's go Yankees! Addendum: -Kaiser Chiefs had a song where the lead singer banged away on a cowbell. I believe they stole this gimmick from TV's Mike Raymond. -On the drive there, didn't listen to either the Foo or the Weez. -I think it's a rule at these things where if you're older than 45 and have either a ponytail or facial hair, you HAVE to wear a leather jacket.

How many days till Spring Training?

King Tom — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 10:34:09 +0000

I really thought until the final out of last night's game that the Yankees had a chance. The one feeling spanning Game five, and the whole ALDS was frustration. It felt like all series, the Yankees couldn't hit with runners on, and obviously, if you can't do that, you're not going to win ball games. Still, for a large part of the season, the Yankees were the one team that weren't supposed to make the post-season. The turnaround they made was great. They just couldn't keep up the momentum. Personally, I'd like to see Cashman, Matsui, Small and Chacon resigned, the bullpen strengthened and Womack gone. I'd bring back Bernie, but not as a starter. Thing is, nothing out there for Centerfield looks really good right now.

I don’t think anyone does

King Tom — Wed, 12 Oct 2005 10:33:28 +0000

So the other night, the Civee and I were at Damon's, simultaneously watching the Yankees and Bengals games. Iron Mike was possibly going to join us, and even though there were a few hours until closing, and the place wasn't all that full, I had a feeling the waitress wanted to be somewhere else: Waitress: So your friend, is he still coming? Me: That's what he says. Waitress: Is he going to eat with you guys? Me: I'm not really sure. Waitress: He sounds very mysterious. Me: Well, he is. He lives out in the ether. Waitress: I'm not from Columbus. I don't know where that is.

Lost in thought

King Tom — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 03:33:48 +0000

Still addicted... While it didn't advance the mysteries of the island, tonight's episode told a good, solid story. I liked the Hurley flashbacks, and the flashback/current/flashback/current etc. device used in the third act. So there's another bunker on the island. Was it me, or was that another Dharma logo on the wall in there? And what in the world were Jack and Sayid looking for? Besides a peephole into the shower.

The name is Bond. Jabroni Bond.

King Tom — Sat, 15 Oct 2005 15:27:46 +0000

So Pierce is out. I'm not sure that's a good move. And I'm not sure replacing him with some unknown serious actor is a good move, either. The other two times they hired unknowns- Connery, Lazenby, it worked out well. Solid actors, for the most part- just too bad Lazenby got an ego trip and couldn't stick around. But the last time they hired a "serious actor," Dalton's two movies were train wrecks. They hired Brosnan, who helped resurrect the franchise and now they're tossing him like a bag of moldy tangerines. It's like the producers have the Lazenby syndrome. I'm willing to be wrong, but they're going to have to pull a rabbit out of Odd Job's hat for this one to work. And in his immortal words: "aah-hah."

Blank Slate

King Tom — Wed, 19 Oct 2005 10:47:14 +0000

Haven't been on here lately because of my computer. Had some kind of virus/system error and got a new hard drive. Took a while to reinstall Windows, but now I'm back up and running, which may or may not be a good thing. Anyways, it looks like the U.S. Air Force is benefitting from some visitors from the 23rd century: http://aimpoints.hq.af.mil/display.cfm?id=7223

Engineers here are testing a new kind of transparent armor -- stronger and lighter than traditional materials -- that could stop armor-piercing weapons from penetrating vehicle windows. The Air Force Research Laboratory's materials and manufacturing directorate is testing aluminum oxynitride -- ALONtm ...

Transparent aluminum? Isn't that what Bones and Scotty gave to that engineer guy so they could bring the humpback whales back to the future? We're gonna have a time paradox on our hands here if someone's not careful.

24: The show that breeds weezer video guest stars

King Tom — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 11:37:24 +0000

First Clöhe, now this: (from mtv):

[about weezer's upcoming video for Perfect Situation] according to Weezer's label, Geffen Records, the role will be played by none other than "24" star Elisha Cuthbert, who might not have the musical chops for the role, but, well, is plenty hot.

Who's next? George Mason as the backup voice in the This is Such a Pity video? Jack Bauer as the titular role in You're My Best Friend? Dennis Hopper as the person who holds Rivers in Hold Me?

Whoomp, There It Is

King Tom — Wed, 26 Oct 2005 10:37:58 +0000

So I'm back from a trip out to NJ for the wedding of one of the Civee's cousins. It was a nice trip, and as an added bonus, I got to see my father. But while driving through Bedminster NJ, I came across a building with no identification other than this: Well, rest assured. It's THE World Headquarters. And it's in Bedminster New Jersey. I never would have guessed that. But now you know. Other things: -The worst thing about the drive to New Jersey/New York is Pennsylvania- five hours of mountains bereft of any civilization. If it were up to me, I'd take out Pennsylvania, put it somewhere on the West Coast as a runway of sorts to Hawaii and zip up the borders of Ohio and NJ. -To all DJs out there: Know your audience. I swear this DJ actually said "We're going to play two more Latin songs before some regular music." Thing is, during these songs, there was no one on the floor. No one at this wedding was looking to do the salsa or merengue. Mmmmmm...salasa meringue.

Best Album Ever…well, if it happened

King Tom — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 19:56:52 +0000

From a Ben Folds interview in NME about Bill Shatner's Has Been:

Q: Is it true you were close to working with Bill Clinton? A: Oh yeah! Shatner called him on the phone and he called right back and then Shatner calls me and he said 'Benny, I just talked to the president!' He was so excited! Clinton said he was interested in doing it but said, 'Just don't make me sound like shit!' But we took longer to get into production by about six months and then the election season was coming up, so we couldn't make it happen. I wanted Weezer to come in and play the track and then I wanted Clinton in a booth with Shatner and have it go down all at once.

As it is, Has Been is a solid album that I can get behind. But if the Weez (not to mention the other guest mentioned) had been on board, well that would have just been super cres. Also, I just finished an article (more like a rant, but oh well) for B. Vaughn's the Morning Toast. Check it out here.

And it’s hard to hold a candle…

King Tom — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 03:41:25 +0000

Some things about today: -It rained for most of the day. When I left work for lunch, it wasn't raining heavily, but it was one of those things I was thinking about- and as I stepped outside, for some reason, I had November Rain in my head. And I was just about to start singing it when I noticed there were people around. So I kept my mouth shut. -Even more embarassing than what I almost did: Al Sharpton's latest entry into the annals of Great American Discourse. If you're too lazy to click, the challenger in the New York City mayoral race has unveiled his latest commercial: Al Sharpton dancing. Yup, that's it. I don't know who to feel sorry for, Sharpton, the loser he's attempting to campaign for, or New York television viewers who have to watch Sharpton shake it. At least the Reverend isn't wearing one of those purple sweatsuits he used to wear. -Picked up the Revenge of the Sith DVD today. Haven't really watched much, but there is one good sign: No Ben Burtt on audio commentary. I'm sure Burtt's a nice guy and he's definitely great at what he does, but I'd rather listen to Jethro Tull than Burtt on an audio commentary. He just yammers on about how he came up with sounds while other people are trying to contribute to plot points. Did we really need to know that he got a sound from a three legged dog in April 1973 while George Lucas is trying to talk about Vader being Luke Skywalker's father? At least there's no Burtt commentary to the Sharpton commercial, I guess.

I did it for the cookie

King Tom — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 23:08:50 +0000

I'm a regular at my local Red Cross. Maybe I should have started off by saying that I give blood regularly. Saying "I'm a regular at my local Red Cross" makes me sound like some junkie vampire. Anyway, they like me there. I have good veins and I bleed quickly. And as tough as the whole needle-in-the-arm thing is, I go as often as I can. For the most part, the people there are nice. But there's this one guy, who staffs the cookie and juice area who's kind of pushy. I'm sure he means well, but he tries forcing you into setting an appointment that day for some future date. And after that, he has to tell you about his Corvette. The usual conversation goes something like this:

Him: "Let me show you my car....See? There it is! That grey car" Me: "Yeah..." Him: "That's a Corvette, you know" Me: "Oh..the lights on the back" Him: "It's five years old- only has 40,000 miles" Me: "Really?" Him: "Well, I only drive it when the weather's nice....Leather interior....not a scratch"

And he goes on and on. And it's the same conversation every single time. So today, I figured I'd see if I could make it interesting:

Him: "Let me show you my car...See? There it is! That grey car" Me: "That corvette over there?" Him: "Oh yes! You like corvettes?" Me: "Um...my ex-stepfather had one" (true statement) Him: "Really? Lucky man!" Me: "He tried running me over with it once "(not-so-true statement) Him: "Well, mine's five years old- only has 40,000 miles...I only drive it when the weather's nice....Leather interior....not a scratch"

Nice to know he sticks to the script. At that point, I left with my cookies.

when you are sealed in the voting cubicle, vote for me, Senator Ka… Bob Dole

King Tom — Tue, 08 Nov 2005 13:52:04 +0000

So today is Election Day. Go out and vote. I'm kind of supposed to say that. I'm just glad it's almost over. With what I have to do, I'll be really glad when it's over. A few things bug me about this time of year: -What's with the yahoos who stand around on-ramps and intersections waving signs for candidates? Do they really think I'm going to vote for candidate Lipschitz just because I saw a bunch of people waving a sign of his as I was fighting traffic on my way home? Politicans definitely need to give voters more credit. -Another thing I don't like it the calls. In the past four days, I've gotten about 12 recorded phone calls, some from the same candidate. This just annoys me. And some times they're not from a local candiate, but from a "famous" person, whose opinion should "matter to me." I've gotten messages from John Glenn, Sherrod Brown and John Edwards (not the psychic guy, but the failed vice presidential candidate who didn't know when to give up). Of these three, Edwards particularly annoys me- and it's not much better when you have to hear his voice over the phone. But I was also disappointed by the calls from Glenn and Brown, both of whom (in seperate calls) urged me to "end the culture of corruption in Columbus." Both of them should know better- especially because: a) they fought against similar proposals when their party was in power b) these issues don't have anything to do with "corruption," but trying to make up for the fact that they're not happy with the way the last few elections have turned out It really frustrates me how stupid they think we are. Anyway, that's enough political talk for me. This political moment was brought to you for the King Tom for King Kingatorial Committee. By the way, I never thought Rivers would do an interview with Elle Girl magazine, but: Page 1 Page 2

Another one down

King Tom — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 03:53:16 +0000

Lost is back! And it's about time. Three weeks, or however long it was was too long. For the most part, it was a good episode. I've never really liked Shannon as a character, so her parts and flashbacks bored me, up until the last few minutes. I like Sayid, but he's kind of got that only-hanging-out-with-her-to-get-into-her-pants vibe. First he makes a picnic for her, then he makes a tent. I only wonder what his plans would have been had she lived. But we don't have to worry about that. Was it me, or did Boone look totally messed up? It's been a while since he's been on the show, but he looked weird. Thank you Michael for finally asking why they're so freaked out about the others. If it was me, I would have asked that like four episodes ago. And I'm glad the tail people finally made it to the other end of the island. But it was an interesting way for the two groups to meet. At least they have a good icebreaker for the next island mixer. Still a captivating show- but they're still not really answering anything.

One night in Bangkok….

King Tom — Tue, 15 Nov 2005 00:59:32 +0000

From http://www.local6.com/news/5322040/detail.html:

Members of a Thai transvestite gang have confessed to hiding strong sedatives in their mouths and spitting them down the throats of victims during deep kissing. Then they rob the drugged tourists.

Guess that takes care of those who get their kicks above the waistline! Watch out Murray!!

Cheers and Tears

King Tom — Tue, 15 Nov 2005 03:50:12 +0000

Okay, cheezy title aside.... -Congratulations to Alex Rodriguez for winning the 2005 American League MVP award. Postseason aside (and he wasn't the worst offender in that five-game stretch), A-Rod carried this team throughout the season. People are saying that he was the reason they lost the ALDS, but I say if it wasn't for A-Rods performance from April-September, the Yankees wouldn't have even been in the post season. I shell out about $130 every year for the Extra Innings package from my cable company. Usually, it's barely worth the price. But days like today make me glad to get it as I get to watch Rodriguez play on a day-to-day basis. I have a feeling he's one of those players that I'll be talking about like my father talks about Mickey Mantle. Well, along with Jeter and Mo Rivera. -My condolences to the family and friends of wrestler Eddy Guerrero. Guerrero was one of those special talents, great to watch in the ring, and while never the top guy in the industry, beginning with his entrance into the WWF, he was always one of my favorite guys to watch. One of the best moments in wrestling ever was this: from WrestleMania XX, where both Guerrero and Benoit walked off champions. While both reigns were cut short, it was a well-deserved moment for two guys who have always been under-appreciated. Rest in Peace, Eddy. -And this happened last month, but I just found out that Nipsey Russell died. I never really saw anything outside of his appearances on Conan and re-runs on the Game Show Network, but he made me laugh. And he always seemed to be having a good time on the Match Game. RIP Nipsey.

Now that was interesting

King Tom — Thu, 17 Nov 2005 03:31:06 +0000

More Lost thoughts. "Another 48 Days" Interesting idea for an episode- the whole thing being a flashback. I was a bit thrown off by the way the days progressed, but they had to do something to compress 48 days into 48 (now I'm being generous) minutes. Didn't see the swerve with Goodwin and Doctor Crackhead from Ed. I was sold on Doctor Crackhead being one of the 'others.' And I have a feeling that I wasn't the only one. I liked the finding of the hatch, but I would have liked to have seen another Orientation film. I don't hate Ana-Lucia as much as I used to- this episode was good at giving her sympathy. And I have tto say it, but Eko rules. I think him and Locke should take over the world. And why did Goodwin say the Others took the people from the beach because "they were good people"?

The drummer in the glass cage of emotion

King Tom — Fri, 18 Nov 2005 22:38:36 +0000

So Weezer's performance on AOL sessions is finally online. I think it's a really good performance- they did Buddy Holly, Beverly Hills, Perfect Situation, Island in the Sun and Don't Let Go. And the attached interviews are interesting too. The best track of the sessions is easily Don't Let Go. I was a fan of the Green version, but they've been playing it differently- changing the key of the song and adding a synth line. It was already an energy-packed song, but they're just great on the Sessions version. It's also nice to have an "officially recorded" new version of the song. Something else: Last week, I saw Pride and Prejudice. Wrote about it for the Morning Toast.

Doing this because I have to.

King Tom — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 11:52:55 +0000

From Tony:

1. Go into your archives. 2. Find your 23rd post. 3. Post the fifth sentence (or closest to it). 4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. 5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.

Here's one real quality sentence from post 23:

I had heard of Lewis from his performance in Abbot and Costello's Hold That Ghost, but thought he was just some lounge singer.

And you know what? All the other bloggers I know have already done this. So I'm amending the "five" to "none." Unless I go around telling random people to do this, regardless of whether or not they have a blog. Then it would just be rediculous.

Juiced Up King

King Tom — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 11:32:27 +0000

Well, I won't be playing Major League Baseball next year. Thanks to an allergic reaction caused by what I believe to be a fresh mango (it's a member of the poison ivy family, after all), I'm now on steroids for a few days. I'm better now, though. But I have to finish up the pills or who-knows-what will happen to me. Except for the mightily swollen lip caused by the reaction, it was a fun Thanksgiving. I hope everyone else out there had a great Thanksgiving too. Back to work.

Lullabye for Wayne

King Tom — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 03:23:40 +0000

More Lost Thoughts "What Kate Did" Okay, this isn't a spoiler: I wouldn't last a week on the island. Too many damn freakin mangoes!! Now my thoughts: Great episode. I really didn't care much about the A-story, even though it was real good. What kept my interest was the Locke-Eko moments. Everything else was gravy. Mango gravy! -I take it as a personal shout out Kate picking the mangoes in the first few minutes. Thank you producers!! -Now that Sayid doesn't need it anymore, it's nice that he's letting other people, especially the newly-reunited Jin and Sun use his tent 'o love. Although- what happened to people moving up to the caves? -I guess not everyone in the original section is as scared of an impending invasion of the Others as the tail section survivors were. -I'm a bit surprised Michael hasn't raided the weapon/ammo closet in the hatch and formed a commando team to rescue Walt. -I'm beginning to think that the Marshal is responsible for the plane crash. He's crashed everything else: the car this episode, the car in Australia, the car Kate's boyfriend was driving in her other flashback episode. -Charlie is annoying. That's not new, just a recurring event. -Did any one else think a bunch of Stormtroopers yelling "Open the blast doors!!" when Michael and Locke were talking in the hatch? No? Just me, then, I guess. -The Locke-Eko scenes were great. Especially their sit-down with the Bible. And I didn't think it was possible to out-Locke Locke, but Eko did it with the fate smackdown.

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye

King Tom — Wed, 07 Dec 2005 04:15:28 +0000

Hello out there in Internet land. Things have been slowly busy around here. Work is keeping me occupied and distracted from my plans for world domination. In the some people have way too much time on their hands category, I found this entertaining look at the first season of Lost: http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/lost It's not too spoilerish, and you'll definitely get it if you've seen the first season. There are so many different reasons why that rules. And as one of the seven signs of the apocalypse, Wham! may or may not be getting back together:

He said he was persuaded to make the 95-minute film George Michael: A Different Story after Andrew Ridgeley who starred alongside him in the 1980s band agreed to talk on camera about their experiences for the first time in 20 years.

At least Andrew Ridgeley is finally getting his name back in the news.

Speaking of forgotten musicians making the news…

King Tom — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 04:07:55 +0000

From an article CNN about Jewish rappers:

The growing genre has also seen artists like Remedy collaborate with mainstream acts like Wu-Tang Clan.

Of course, the article is 22 paragraphs long and that's the only mention of Remedy. Take what you can, I guess.

Rickey’s Ready For Social Security

King Tom — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 04:26:26 +0000

It hit the news either today or yesterday that Rickey Henderson's retiring. For a while, in the mid-80s of course, he was one of my favorite players, alongside Donnie Baseball, Tommy John, Willie Randolph and Mike Pagliarulo. I'd go to a few Yankees games each year- but some of my favorite ones were with the Staten Island YMCA summer day camp. We'd get whole sections in the upper deck out in the outfield, when we were in left, and it was the top of the inning, we'd scream Rickey's name at the top of our lungs. When we were in right, we'd scream for Dave Winfield. Rickey did a much better job of acknowledging us. One of the games I remember (thanks to Retrosheet for the details) was August 24, 1988. A's were visiting and took an early lead. By the eighth, it was 4-1, A's. Yankees scored one in the bottom of the eighth, but Rickey made the last out of the inning. A's scored two in the top of the ninth, but somehow, the Yankees came back with five in the bottom of the ninth- the game winner was a single by Rickey. Of course the next year, they traded him for Eric Plunk, Luis Polonia and Greg Cadaret. I always think if the Yankees could have gotten just a little bit more (or something different) out of the Clark and Henderson trades, they wouldn't have been as horrible in the early 90s. But the next decent trade the franchise would make wasn't until the Sax for Melido Perez and Bob Wickman deal. Well, thanks for the memories Rickey Maybe in tribute, I should refer to myself in the third person for a whole day. The King will let you know how it goes.

Oh happy day!

King Tom — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 22:36:33 +0000

For a Yankees fan, today is like Christmas, Independence Day and St. Swithin's Day all rolled into one. The Yankees finally got rid of Tony Womack, the most useless (or least useful) Yankee in a long time. They sent Womack and $900,000 to the Reds. But the best part of it is that they got something in return. They got two living, breathing people with two arms and two legs (each!) who have some experience playing baseball. It's not Sparky Lyle for Danny Cater, or Roberto Kelly for Paul O'Neill and Joe DeBerry, but it's something. This is truly a great day. I should make one of my New Year's resolutions not to make fun of the Reds(*). *This offer excludes current management (who actually traded for Tony Womack), Tony Womack, Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, Ken Griffey Jr., Ken Griffey Sr., Johnny Bench and a certain Reds fan who likes to disparage the Yankees just to get on my nerves.

Best.Restaurant.Ever!

King Tom — Fri, 09 Dec 2005 22:22:34 +0000

I'm adventurous when it comes to food. I really like Japanese food- and not just sushi. I've been to a lot of good Japanese places and quite a few bad ones. Back when I was in college, there was a Japanese restaurant about a mile down the wall. During my first year, I avoided it as it had a hole-in-the-wall vibe. A friend took me there for my birthday sophmore year and I knew that I was wrong to have passed the place by for a whole year. The atmosphere was fun, the chef was entertaining and the food was great. In the years that followed, my friend Bemis and I went to Tomo's Cuisine so often we probably put his kids through college. Tomo even once talked us into trying fugu , which wasn't that bad. After moving out to Ohio, I got to go back twice. But Tomo's closed up shop in South Orange in mid-aught-two, and trips back east haven't been the same. Well, (and the point of all this) is that he's back. According to this message board, he's re-opened up shop in Little Falls. If you're out there, go- trust me, it's worth it. Tomo's Cuisine II 113 Rt. 23 in Little Falls. (Near the Willowbrook Mall.) 973-837-1117

She wore Lemon

King Tom — Sun, 11 Dec 2005 16:31:27 +0000

So I went with the Civee last night to see U2 up in Cleveland. They put on a great show- I'm not the world's biggest U2 fan, but I knew most of the songs on the set list. The stage set was pretty impressive. There was this oval walkway circling half of the floor, and these big screens of light-beads which would come down during certain songs. Institute, the band led by former Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale, opened for U2. Honestly, I wasn't impressed by them. They really didn't sound all that different from Bush, and Gavin did this weird skipping-around to get around the oval walkway. The one good part of their set was Machinehead. They played one other Bush song, but I wasn't that familiar with it. U2's set was solid, for the most part. Bono is an energetic frontman- and he made his way around the oval many times, avoiding the skipping motions that made Gavin look ridiculous. Like I said earlier, I knew most of the songs on the set list- and they only played two songs from their most recent album. They played three covers-all Lennon compositions- Norwegian Wood, Help and Instant Karma. My only problem with these was they only played half of Norwegian Wood- ignoring the part where he burns her apartment down. My disappointment with the show- they didn't play Lemon. There was at least one voice in the audience shouting for the song. Why they left this gem off the setlist is beyond me.

Private:

King Tom — Mon, 12 Dec 2005 04:08:37 +0000

Technorati Profile

It must be BizCasFri!

King Tom — Tue, 20 Dec 2005 03:57:48 +0000

I've been thinking lately about getting a hat. Not like a cap or doo-rag, but something like Indiana Jones would wear, but normal. If that makes any sense. I went to the Men's Wearhouse because a) when I shop for work clothes, that's where I go and b) it was the only place I could think of that has non-pimp men's hats. I was approached by a helpful haberdasher, mid 40s- early 50s, and looking the part. Here's how it went down:

Haberdasher: Can I help you? Me: I'm thinking about a hat. Haberdasher: Oh. We don't have those here. You have to go to Hat and Sole, in Bexley. (at this point, I think he's giving me the hammock district routine, but he assures me it's a real place- I'll spare you the details of that part of the conversation). Me: For work, I have to dress nice, not like this. Haberdasher: No, you're fine. I rock the casual look myself, chief* *at this point, I was trying to keep from laughing, I lost concentration. He either called me chief or boss.

News and Views with the King

King Tom — Wed, 21 Dec 2005 02:39:03 +0000

Hey gang. A few things: -I can't shop at Kroger anymore. They have this woman, Connie Cayhill-something or other come over the PA every few minutes talking about ice cream. Her voice is not what I want to hear when I'm trying to figure out what to cook this week. -In the past few days, four different people e-mailed me about Rivers making the news. Interesting story, but it's nothing new. Someone as headstrong as him would decide to extend his two-year vow of poverty. If he was simple to figure out, then life wouldn't be as fun. The best thing about the whole story is from the Blender interview that kicked off all the ruckus. The last question is whether he's a breast man or an ass man. His answer: "I forgot." Rivers is awesome. -I might need to rescind that last comment momentarily while looking at Rivers' picks for the top songs of aught-five. His choices are b-a-n-a-n-a-s. Interesting thing about that article- Rivers beat out the other contributors, including Harvard's president for top billing. I'll never got the ivy league. -Finally, I don't know what to think about this: Kamala the Ugandan Giant Sings. It's right up there with "Hulkster in Heaven" and Randy Savage's rap album. Just make sure you have your speakers up loud. Bonus points if you check it while at work.

Waiting on David Cone

King Tom — Wed, 21 Dec 2005 11:45:22 +0000

It's pointless story time with the king! Ten years ago today, Thursday December 21, 1995, was the longest day of my life. A little background: I was in my freshman year of college. Two months earlier, in their first post-season appearance since 1981, the Yankees were eliminated in an exciting 5-game ALDS match-up with Seattle. One of the reasons the Yankees even made it to the post-season was because of the trade deadline acquisition of David Cone. I had never paid attention to Cone before his stint with the Yankees, but watching them then, I was amazed by the way he pitched. But it was Cone’s free agent year and all the scuttlebutt had Cone signing with Baltimore. Also, it was finals week at Seton Hall. It had snowed like every day that week. And in New Orleans, my great-grandmother was dying. I had planned to go down to Louisiana for Christmas, but with her sick, my trip was bumped up a few days to Thursday afternoon. Anyway, on to the day: It started out real early. I had moved my English final from Thursday afternoon to the morning. Seven in the morning. And I had to take it in the lobby of the English department. People buzzing around wasn’t exactly conducive to writing essay questions, but somehow, I got by. Thursday was the first day of the week that it didn’t start out snowing, but that didn’t last long. By the time my father picked me up to take me to the airport, the snow had started. We stopped for lunch at this Polish deli in Linden –on the ride from there to the airport, WFAN had a breaking news report that all Cone had to do was sign and he was an Oriole. I was pissed. So my father dropped me off at Newark International. I had a flight to Pittsburgh, and a half-hour wait before a flight to New Orleans. Funny, but it didn’t exactly work out that way. Because of snow in New Jersey, the flight to Pittsburgh was delayed three hours. Of course, they didn’t tell us until we were already on the plane. Luckily, (or not, depending on your point of view), I had bought a paperback (Tim Allen’s Don’t Stand Too Close to a Naked Man) at the airport, so I had something to read at least. The plane eventually took off, but got me into Pittsburgh a mere ten minutes too late- around 9:30. The next flight to New Orleans wasn’t until 6:15 the next morning. The airline (I think it was US Air, but I’m not sure) gave me 10 bucks for dinner, which I spent in the airport Friday’s. I probably had a steak, then went wandering around the airport. Spent a few quarters in the arcade, then walked some more and stumbled upon the “Meditation Room.” The meditation room was actually a nice place- a video loop of clouds projected on to the wall with some nice music in the background. I was the only one in there for about an hour, just reading. For some reason, I found it impossible to sleep. A little later, some other travelers came in, started talking amongst themselves and disconnected the video loop and music. This pissed me off, so I went off exploring some more. It was well after midnight by now (but no where close to 6), so I did some more walking. The place was empty. Thing is, the moving walkways were still on. I started walking around on those. Then I laid down on one and it was really weird just letting it take me while my carry-on bag followed. You gain an odd sense of perspective being alone in a place usually teeming with people. The next few hours were more of the same nothing. I read some more, walked around, watched other travelers try and find a place to sleep. By this point, the meditation room was crowded and stinky. I still couldn’t fall asleep. Sometime before 5, I started noticing workers with carts walking around the airport. One of the workers put some copies of the day’s Pittsburgh Post-Gazette into a machine near one of the terminals and I was lucky enough not to spend all my quarters. I got a paper and opened up to the sports section, and the headline said something about BJ Surhoff and Roberto Alomar signing with Baltimore. I didn’t care anything about that. Below that, it said Cone decided to stay with New York. At that point, the night’s wait and boredom felt worth it. The rest of the time actually flew by, and shortly after that, I boarded a plane to New Orleans. Usually, I don’t sleep on planes, but I managed to on that flight. I got to say goodbye to my great-grandmother. Found out I did well on the English final. The ’96 baseball season was something else. Alomar made an ass of himself by spitting on an umpire. Cone developed an aneurysm, spent four months on the disabled list, but made a comeback that fall capped off with a win in game three of the ’96 series. I later read that during final negotiations, Baltimore’s owner put Cone on hold, during which time, George Steinbrenner called Cone, and offered him a better deal with a no-trade clause. Cone was on hold on the phone. I was on hold in the airport. Funny how things work out.

Too bad…

King Tom — Fri, 23 Dec 2005 01:47:50 +0000

...that I don't watch Saturday Night Live much anymore, because this is actually funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=zLElfJ9YCh0

Are you talking to me?

King Tom — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 05:30:35 +0000

So tonight I went with an associate to dinner at Damon's. This associate, for reasons which will soon be clear, will remain anonymous. Anyway, the waitress was chatty, and the following exchange occurs:

I finish placing my order The anonymous associate: Dude, that's whack. Chatty Waitress: Did you just tell him he had a nice rack? Me: I hope not!

Well, that's it for now. I'm headed to Cincinnati for the weekend. Have a great Christmas everyone!

Things we said today

King Tom — Fri, 30 Dec 2005 03:15:16 +0000

At today's weekly lunch at Tommy's Diner, the gang and I were talking about the rash of pop radio stations given one-syllable male names. The Ted in Columbus, the Bob in Cincinnati, and I'm sure there are more of them in other cities. Anyway, these stations play a mix of pop music ranging from the 70s to today, but they have zero personality, hence the Ted/Bob/whatever naming scheme. Sometimes I do listen to the Ted in Columbus, and during the discussion, I said something to the effect of the following: "Hey, if I'm flipping around and I hear the Safety Dance and Can't Touch This back-to-back, I'm going to stop flipping." I didn't think it was that weird a statement, but apparently everyone else did. For those of you out there in Internet land- are there other stations similar to these in your area? With the naming scheme?

Because I can

King Tom — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 16:30:44 +0000

Inspired by the other day's posting about the Safety Dance and Tony's comment: I hope everyone out there has a happy New Year. Let me be the first to wish you all a happy 2007. I plan on not doing much today or tomorrow. Sounds like fun.

Put down your chainsaw and listen to me

King Tom — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 12:08:52 +0000

Weird Al Yankovic is now eligible for the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. I should sign the petition, but it actually requires you to print it out and send it in. That must be why they only have three people on it so far. At least if I were to sign it, my name wouldn't be joined by the likes of I.P. Freely, Mike Rotch and Homer Sexual. I consider myself a fan- I do own more than a few of his albums/tapes/CDs (okay, no albums) and I know the words to some of his parodies better than the songs they're based off of, and I think that UHF is one of the funniest movies ever made. But I never realized Al has been around this long. I don't know why, but this makes me feel old. But I figure he deserves it as much as that Elvis guy.

Obviously, it’s Monday.

King Tom — Mon, 09 Jan 2006 12:16:56 +0000

Only half of the reading audience will "get" the title of today's column (Needless to say, phrases like "Obviously, it's (insert day of the week here)" and "Welcome to (insert day of the week here)" still ring in my head every day). But trying to please your whole audience is like herdin cats. Damn, same half. But anyways... I was looking at the weather for this week and it's supposed to be in the mid-40s all week here in central Ohio. I guess someone forgot it was early January. I'm not complaining, but I hate the cold. I do wish that this non-stormy week would actually wait till next week, when I'm on the road for work to (most likely) the most remote regions of the state. With my luck, we'll have a four-day blizzard. Or five days of 80-degree weather, the way things are going. In other things: -My brother, who sent me a really cool coffee-table book on lucha libre for Christmas, has his face on a t-shirt. I have yet to see the shirt, but he said he'll try to send me one before he goes to France for the next four months. -Finally saw a preview for 24, which starts next week. The season looks interesting, but I feel like they're going to have to kill off Jack soon. Although, I also thought that at the beginning of season three. -The other show I watch, Lost, also starts up again this week. It's about time. There were many times throughout this two-month hiatus that I was tempted to open up a book.

Political question

King Tom — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 02:24:02 +0000

I try not to get political here. That said, I think the Supreme Court confirmation process is interesting- it's history. Okay, I'm a nerd. Anyway, my question: we outlaw torture, right? Well then why are we forcing these nominees to sit through a whole day of speeches from a group of windbag Senators? I thought the whole point of the confirmation process was to learn about the nominees, not to listen to the senators regurgitate the party line. If the idea is to submit them to the feats of strength, well it's too late. Festivus was last month.

The guy on the island you don’t want to mess with

King Tom — Thu, 12 Jan 2006 03:20:03 +0000

It's ba-ack! Well, I'm glad they ran that clip show. I almost forgot what show I was watching. I liked how they got right into the story. Here I was, thinking they were going to drag it out. As much as I liked Eko's character before, I think he's even better now. Unlike Locke, who sees the island as an opportunity, Eko is a sinner seeking redemption- and by finding the plane, who knows, maybe he thinks he found it. I think it's interesting the way they're setting him up as a paralell to Locke- both of them are the only two to have a staredown with the "monster," although we don't know if Eko thought what he saw was beautiful. By the way, interesting monster. I was seeing things in the smoke, but I wasn't sure of what it was. They probably could have waited to show it, but they still haven't explained it. Best line: "Or what, you'll beat me with your Jesus stick?" Charlie didn't bug me as much as he has been. The Sawyer/haircut bit was humorous. About time they address personal grooming, says I! It was quite gentlemanly of Hurley to help the new chick out with her tent. But was it just me thinking he did it because he knew what happened when Sayid made the tent for Shannon? And what gives with everyone being on the beach? I thought they were all living in the caves. Why did they have to use a full jar of Dharma-brand Ranch Dressing for target practice? I doubt they have an unlimited supply of the stuff. And I found this a few days ago, but I was saving it for the next Lost posting. It's pretty creepy, but way cool: Dharma jingle/score similarities This post was brought to you by Dharma-brand ranch dressing...mmm-mmmm! Dharma Brand Ranch Dressing...always goes down smooth! And now 98% fat free!

24 thoughts

King Tom — Mon, 16 Jan 2006 23:53:47 +0000

Jack's back! Like the previous four seasons, I did not watch this season premiere of 24 live. I know that's not interesting, but I just thought it was odd. I like the four-hours in two days thing they've done the past two seasons. One of the nice by-products of having to wait until the TV season is half over for the show start. -In a move I don't like, but I understood why, they killed off President Palmer. A few minutes later, the current president, Logan (I gave him the nick name of Froggy Nixon last year, because of his buggy eyes, swollen jowels and personal integrity) said something about Palmer being a man of "truth and honor"--two words that would not describe Logan. -So Clohe's shackin up with a co-worker. I was kinda hoping it would have been Edgar, rather than that new guy. -Was I the only one feeling bad for Edgar once the new guy told him that he saw Clohe earlier in the day? Edgar looked like an 8 year old about to get the birds and the bees speech. -Jack was awsome, as usual. I'm not too sure what to think of his new woman and her son. Although the scene where they called from the chopper was ripe for comedy pickins "Hey. I'm a total stranger, but I'm taking your son for a helicopter ride." -I have a feeling the new first lady is going to be my least favorite character this season. Why in the world would Palmer confide in a manic-depressive shrew? In the past, he's gone for the manipulative, evil shrew-types. -And judging from evidence from last season and this season, Jack can use a gun, but Clohe is by far the best shot on the whole show.

Lighten up Rudy

King Tom — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 11:45:41 +0000

Another two hours of 24, thank you Fox! After getting four hours of 24 in the last day, now Fox has decided to make us all wait another week. Damn savages. -If Logan were really president, I'd quit and move to Pago Pago or something. -The dude who plays the Russian President looked familiar. Well, there's a reason for that. Nick Jameson has been in everything: Lost, Seinfeld, Alias. It also looks like he's been a voice actor in every Star Wars video game made since 1993. -How many times are they going to use the phrases "data mine" and "real-time updates"? I counted at least three uses of data mining in the first three hours. -The guy who the psycho first lady took the key card from didn't even wash his hands. He handed her the card and she put it in her mouth. Don't they know that's what got Poppy in trouble? -Okay, he may have saved the day, but is it me, or has everyone on this show who's come over from Division been the world's biggest asshole? It must be something in the water. I actually felt bad for Buchanan, who I was starting to like. -Back-to-Back episodes (much lesss ones that run the next day) don't need the amount of previouslies these two episodes have had. -If I were Jack, I'd be a bit disappointed in the way people are greeting me/him. The guy returned from the dead after a year and a half, and people are like "what's up, bro?"

I’m drawing a line down the middle of this room…

King Tom — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 03:23:13 +0000

...you stay on your side and I'll stay on mine. D'oh! Two weeks of Lost in a row- we're spoiled So we find out why Jack's not married anymore, Michael goes insane and Beardo draws a line in the sand. But most importantly, tension returns to the Island. I was suprised that Michael didn't go insane earlier. A bit more surprised that Ana-Lucia and Sayid, the two people with military/police experience weren't invited along on the expedition. Nice to see Jin listening to Sun for a change- but I expected him to take off in the middle of the night. Jack's story was interesting, but boring. I mean, his flashbacks always seem like they take forever. It was boring until his wife's revelation that she cheated on him. But he needs to drop the grade-school pouting he does whenever he sees Kate. The showdown with Beardo (I'm betting he's also the guy from the Dharma flick) was interesting, but it didn't really explain anything. Two interesting bits: -The WWII-era gun he had pointed at Kate's neck. I have a feeling they mainly cornered the hunting party to get their Vietnam-era assault rifles. (Although, if they are the people behind Dharma, don't they have the same weaponry). -"Bring her out, Alex"? As in the kidnapped spawn of crazy French chick? I bet I'm not the only person asking that last one.

Changing terms on my terms

King Tom — Sat, 21 Jan 2006 04:51:11 +0000

I've been on the road a lot recently for work. Wednesday, I was coming back from an event in Morgan County, and while I didn't have much time, I needed to grab something to eat. I stopped at the Zanesville Wendy's off I-70 (a Wendy's I have been to many times before) to get something quick. While eating my fingerless-chili, I was thinking that technically, I have an hour for "lunch." And while I wasn't taking the full hour that particular day, I have that time available to me. The best part of it all is that while it's a mid-day break, no one is forcing me to eat lunch during this hour. If I had wanted to, I could have toured Zanesville. I could have driven across the Y-bridge 20 times. I could have gone to the nearby state park to collect leaves. I could have done anything but eat lunch. At that point, I decided to stop referring to the hour as my "lunch" hour. Instead, I'm going to refer to it as the "hour of me." It's more accurate, don't you think? These are the things I think about when I have a few minutes to myself. Free thought is a dangerous thing.

Jack’s Back Home

King Tom — Tue, 24 Jan 2006 03:10:53 +0000

So there's good news about this season of 24: I usually tune in a few minutes early. This season, I don't have to watch the last few minutes of American Idol. Of course, there's a corollary to this: I'm stuck watching the last few minutes of Skating with ~~Joey from Full House~~ Celebrities (an exaggerated term). With no big action pieces this hour, this was a classic linking episode allowing them to take their time and tell a story. Usually, in the past, these episodes seem long- because they aren't racing to get anywhere. But for some reason, this hour felt like fifteen minutes. Part of me thinks that they're building up Curtis for something big. For two seasons in a row, he's been in action hero mode. If they're ever going to kill off Jack, or have him retire, I can see Curtis taking over the show. Of course, realize this is 24 and he could be dead six hours from now. -Curtis: "Tighten up on that camera" What?! Is Curtis a long-lost member of Archie Bell and the Drells? -I think Jean Smart is now the First Lady of Cleavage. -Nice to see Clohe and Edgar have their chemistry back. Both of them socially awkward, but they deal with each other beautifully. -I can actually tolerate Audrey this season. Maybe because she's been set dressing and hasn't had the chance to get all emotional. -That one scene where Jack walked in to CTU for the first time. I think that's how the show's extras all react every day when Kiefer walks on set. Just a theory, though. -Jack's new woman (Diane?) to Audrey: "I accepted him for who he was." I believe the appropriate follow up to this statement is "Oh Snap." -So Clohe talks to herself. Does she talk to herself the way she talks to other people? -Looks like they have really comfortable chairs at the CTU workstations. -Jack and the kid share a touching moment. Didn't they do this last episode? -Jack's last line: "I'll go see him myself." I think Walt Cummings has between two and five hours left to live. One thing about this season, and I could be wrong here, but I'm guessing the reason Walt is bad is because he's stringing the terrorists along, so that CTU can save the day at the last possible moment. But he's not telling the president, because the president would flip. Of course, doing this would make a weak president look strong and build up Cummings' power as well. Decent idea for a plot, but didn't they do something similar on day two? I'm kind of hoping that I'm wrong.

Just a junkie with a monkey

King Tom — Thu, 26 Jan 2006 03:41:48 +0000

A very dramatic episode of Lost that didn't do much for me. Don't get me wrong, it was still a good episode, but this isn't one that I'd go back to watch again and again. The dream imagery (especially St. Hurley) was great, and I loved the Locke smackdown at the end, but for some reason, I'm not that interested in Charlie. -Eko is still the coolest character on the show. If I were there for that long, I would also be marking the trees I liked. -Those stitches to Charlie's face had to have hurt. (Isn't that what Homer named his fourth child- Stichface?) -One dissappointment to this episode: I thought there was some rule that any drama/comedy about English rockers had to include the three words bollocks, shite and wanker. I only counted one of the three. -Nice shout-out to Voltron in the beginning. As a kid, I had the full sets of Voltrons 1 and 3- the bootleg Chinese versions, which were far superior to the American versions. (I also had two-thirds of Voltron two, but couldn't figure out what to do with it). -Geez, that place is like junior high! "Are you hitting that?" and Sawyer/Hurley's shout-out to Libby. You kind of forget these people are adults after a while. -It's been set up early on that Jack and Locke have opposite personalities. Throw Eko in there, and you have something totally different. My thing is, none of them showed any type of forgiveness toward Charlie or opportunity toward redemption. I'm sure that Charlie could have a shot at redemption in the future, but you'd think with those three dominant, yet opposite personalities, that one of them would extend some type of forgiveness to Charlie. -And I probably said this last week- but I thought everyone moved up to the caves.

At least it’s just a loan

King Tom — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 20:10:25 +0000

Earlier in the week, the State of Ohio agreed to give the Donatos "pizza" company a $2.9 million dollar loan to research quicker-rising pizza dough or something like that. Now for those of you who aren't from Columbus, take some ketchup, some white American cheese and a stale cracker, and you have a Donatos pizza. Honestly, it's right up there with beef tounge as the worst thing I've ever eaten and the fact that they call it pizza pisses me off (they don't slice it the right way, they don't use the right kind of cheese and I've written term papers thicker than a Donatos pizza). There are only two good pizza places in Columbus (that I've been to), and Donatos definitely isn't one of them.

What, you didn’t think it’d end there?

King Tom — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 03:54:45 +0000

The one little thing that bugs me about 24: There is no 12:00 p.m. There is also no 12:00 a.m. There's either 12 midnight or 12 noon. At least twice a season, Jack Bauer bugs me. Did you really think it would end with the CTU finding the nerve gas? Did Walt Cummings think he could stare down Jack Bauer and walk out of the room with unsoiled pants? The answer to both of those questions is of course not. Good episode. Quicker moving than last week's, but it still doesn't feel like it was a whole hour. Random thoughts: -That first conference room scene, it looked like Rudy the Hobbit was working out or something. Just the way he was standing and posing as Jack was going off. He's short, so he has to authoritate his stature (I heard that word at work once). -That scene where they pulled the truck up to the port- why did it look like it was raining? -That guy who played the nerve gas victim- do you think that performance is going on his demo reel? I think he was also itch sufferer number two in that one Curex commerical a few years back. -Is it me, or is everyone using a "call from/to the State Department" as an excuse this season. -Buchanan mentioned the CHiPs. I think Ponch and Jon are going to find the nerve gas before the season is over. -The mother (still can't remember her name- and I'm too lazy to look it up from last week's recap) has some trouble-causing mouth on her. She must have been a bitch in junior high. -Logan to Walt: "What did you say?" Geez, Logan acting tough is the most pathetic thing ever. -Loved Buchanan's verbal smackdown on Lynn: "That's because you don't have enough experience to know any better." And I think that Audrey and Edgar were loving it too. I bet they were high-fiving each other as soon as Buchanan and Lynn left the room. -I (and anyone else paying attention) have been waiting ten months for Jack's smackdown on Walt. I think that was the best scene this season. Scenes like that and the one in season 3 where the jet fighters swooped in to stop Saunders make me proud to be an American. -At the end of the episode- it was about time Logan remembered his wife. Yet the weasel still blames everything on Walt. -Of all the people in that Presidential command center, (Excluding Jack), the one most qualified to be President is Aaron the Secret Service agent. And Logan knows that. -The episode's ending seemed awkward. After terrorist guy said "steep price," the camera cut around to no one in particular, then just cut to the clock. Weird. But great episode.

Trading Places

King Tom — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 03:28:57 +0000

In an e-mail exchange earlier today, I was talking with my associate Don about 24 and Lost (some spoilers for both shows may follow) And I said:

If Jack Bauer took the place of Jack (from LOST), in the scene from the episode two weeks ago (with beardo), then the Others would have been wiped off the face of the island.

to which Don responded:

He wouldn’t need to build an army, HE IS AN ARMY… of course by this point… he probably would have also wiped out Sawyer, Locke, and Charlie and he would have slept with and broke up with Kate and Anna Luisa. OK I just got a theme now…. 1. If Edgar was on the island instead of Hurley.. he would have rewired the hatch computer to show the exact location of the island and downloaded Tetris to pass the time 2. If Audrey was on the island instead of Kate, the Others would never have captured her because she wouldn’t go in the woods because she always follows instructions even when they are stupid 3. If Curtis was on the island instead of Sa’id.. nothing much would change because they are kind of the same character.

Which got me thinking of the following: -If Clohe was on the island instead of Sun, Jin would be the most timid husband in the world. -If George Mason was on the island instead of Locke (pre-contamination Mason), no one would know about the hatch, the plane, or where Boone's body was located. -If Marwan were on the island instead of Beardo, there would be five bazillion Others on the island, working in groups of ten, each working on another layer of the same plan. -If Chase were on the island instead of Charlie, he wouldn't really be able to play the guitar, now would he? -If Agent Baker were on the island instead of Jin, well, um...they're the same dude. At least Jin would be able to speak English. -If Tony were on the island instead of Eko, he wouldn't beat people with the Jesus stick. Instead, he'd use the Cubs mug. -If Chappelle were on the island instead of Sawyer, well, um...I really don't see any changes. Anyone else have any ideas for other Island-CTU switcheroos?

Ask a stupid question

King Tom — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 22:29:05 +0000

One of the things I do where I work is answer or forward on questions addressed to our generic e-mail address. Most of the e-mails need to be sent to one of our divisions, I field a handful of the questions, and the rest are either too bizarre or just angry e-mails that don't warrant a response. If I could, I would answer the ones that fell into the last category. But if I answered them in the way I wanted to, I'd probably get fired. Case in point- one e-mail I recently received:

My adult son has moved to another state. How do I fix this?

That's it. That's all it said. I wanted to respond: "Hire a bounty hunter. I hear Boba Fett is cheap." But I didn't. How would you respond?

The name is Tom. King Tom.

King Tom — Fri, 03 Feb 2006 02:57:57 +0000

An open letter to the producers of the James Bond franchise: Word on the street is that you're starting production on the next James Bond movie, Casino Royale (v2) and you haven't yet cast the Bond villian. Well, allow myself to submit myself for consideration. I know you're saying "Who is this King Tom jackass?" Well, you don't need to know the details. But I can tell you that I would be the best Bond foe since Telly Savalas. I'd be a lot better than the lead singer from Live who had the bullet stuck in his brain- what was his deal anyway? Let's face it- things aren't looking so rosy for the franchise. You've decided to ditch Pierce and hire some jabroni to play the part of Bond-- strike one. You also decided to turn down an offer from Quentin Tarantino to direct the movie--strike two. Let me save you from the indignity of strike three. I have already put together a two-part, fool-proof plan to cement myself as the greatest Bond villian ever. Part one: Lure James Bond to Casino Royale. Part two: Shoot Bond (or have one of my costumed underlings shoot Bond) right between the eyes. If necessary, I can amend my plan to bribe Felix Leiter (bribe him with what? well, howabout a new set of bionic legs) to give Bond some counterfeit currency once his luck runs out at Baccarat. Additionally, I'm not dumb. I know that you're supposed to drink white wine with fish. I wouldn't hire Wayne Newton to be a front for my drug-smuggling operation. And I wouldn't use cheezy metaphors involving Japanese fighting fish to describe my plans for world domination. I'd keep my underlings happy and let them on my space station so they don't turn on me and help Bond. As you can see, I have a more well-thought-out plan than that guy who wanted to blow up the world with that giant Jiffy-Pop machine (thanks djl) from space. Keep this film simple. Hire me, and I'll make the most memorable Bond villian ever. I can promise you, I'll at least be a lot better than this guy: Thank you for your consideration. King Tom

Not much to say

King Tom — Tue, 07 Feb 2006 03:16:27 +0000

If you're asking me (and you probably haven't) tonight's episode of 24 was solid, yet unspectacular. I really don't have that much to say. -I was a bit disappointed during the previouslies- I could have used more of the MegaPowers teaming up or the Walt beatown. But that's just me. -Why do all these CTU people have these family emergencies? And why do they always happen on the busiest day of the year? I mean, do the crackhead sisters or psycho daughters or loser-ass brothers just know what day to go crazy on? -I'm glad someone finally slapped Logan. I think for the good of the nation, someone needs to slap him every five minutes. I'm a bit surprised that after talking to him for just a few minutes, Jack didn't tie Logan to a chair and start twirling a towel around. I know I would. -Spencer is a whiny little bitch. -The scariest thing about this episode- Curtis taking a bullet. Yet he still manages to give the finger to statistics and logic and lives to see another hour. -Best moment of the episode: Edgar's smile after telling Clohe she did the right thing. I think he's gonna get some by the end of the day. -When they pulled Walt down, they cut to a shot of Logan, with a look on his face. I think Logan was thinking "why didn't I think of that?"

Just when everything was fine and dandy

King Tom — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 03:22:12 +0000

The first Lost of February sweeps! -Real good, solid episode. Just when everyone was starting to like Sawyer, they go and make him an asshole again (excuse the language). And Charlie crosses over to the evil side too. Interesting stuff. I have to admit, I didn't know where they were going with the Sawyer flashbacks and I definitely didn't see Sawyer's heel turn (there's a wrestling term for you). -Was it me, or were there bazookas in the safe? And do the numbers 7-33-18 mean anything? I mean, they're not any of 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 or 42 (at least that's what all my mathematics education has taught me). -So the mark busts Sawyer for not being a professional con artist, and then she wants to be his apprentice? She deserved what she got. -Holy crap! Sayid's still alive. (Was it me, or was Eko the only person not given a speaking role). -Nice to see the Scott/Steve joke still going around. -I'm sure what Sayid and Hurley really wanted to hear some Glenn Miller over the shortwave. Nice side joke from Hurley about "when" the transmission came from. -Why do I have a feeling the Others are going to get the guns?

Not exactly quality planning

King Tom — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 03:25:22 +0000

I've never taken down a terrorist. I've never saved a group of people. But I'm pretty sure I could have come up with a better plan than the eggheads at CTU. Good episode- but it served the purpose of getting the good guys in even deeper than they were before. Has to happen every season. -Why in the world would you give the terrorists a functioning chip? -How many times has Logan said "What are you suggesting?" Is that his catchphrase? "What are you suggesting? If you think I should sit here and let someone else take the blame, give me a hell yeah if you smell what the president is cooking!" -That moment between the first lady of cleavage and her aide really belonged on the Lifetime channel. -He only said a few words on the phone, but I think any one with half a brain would have distringuished Jack's voice from the creepy terror guy. -Jack's in the van and McGill says something like "Curtis, are you seeing this?" No, actually, McGill, he's hearing it. -No disrespect to Clohe and Edgar:I don't know conference call ettiquette, but I'm pretty sure the President doesn't need to be intrduced to them via conference call. -Jack played an allright scared kidnap victim. However, in the back of the van, I think he should have faked a heart attack. That would have bought some time to put the next part of my plan into motion: evacuate the mall, and fill it with out-of-work actors. When cued, have all the actors fake death. Allow the terror guys to set off the gas, which would be stopped by closing down the ventilation system. Cue the actors to pass out, making the terror guys think their dastardly plot worked. They lead CTU to yellow tie dude, the season ends 15 hours early. -Is Audrey turning into Mrs. Lovejoy: "Won't somebody please think of the children?" -Jack has killed two more people with his legs than any one else I know of. Okay, one more than Xenia Onatopp. -How did Jack know how to stop the gas? -If I was Jack, I would have gotten into the cookie stand/food court debate with the mall security guy. It's a good thing I'm not Jack. -So Logan sent McGill over. I think there's more to this than meets the eye.

You from Jersey? I’m from Jersey!

King Tom — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 03:28:27 +0000

Thanks to djl, I now know that my home state has an official song. It's got an old timey polka feel to it, kind of like Here Come the Yankees. Only thing is, I can't read any of the story because of that bizarre font effect they're using.

Everyone knows what today is

King Tom — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 11:46:44 +0000

I'd like to wish everyone out there a happy international Weezer day! Legend has it, that fourteen years ago today, Elisha Cuthbert taught the band to play. After dumping some Kool-Aid on Scott Shriner's head, the former motorcycle-rock band kicked her out and replaced her with roadie Rivers Cuomo. The band returned to it's Kenosha, Wisconsin roots and played several dance contests while Matt Sharp wrote and composed many of the band's later hits. Matt then left to be bigger than Elvis, while Rivers locked himself into a closet bouncing a rubber ball against the wall and burning his master tapes. Brian lost several shirts and sweaters he would later lament. It was around this time that Rivers' marriage to Lisa Loeb fell apart and the band found itself playing at several Mexican weddings. This period was promptly erased from the annals of band history. All that I'm sure of now is that Miss Piggy fell in love with Pat, Rivers became Yoda and a lot of other stuff happened. I think.

Poor Kermit

King Tom — Thu, 16 Feb 2006 04:10:07 +0000

LOST! Good episode, yet it left me somewhat unfulfilled. I just felt myself wanting more- like confirmation that the guy was an Other. -Good editing on the previouslies. They were actually compelling. BTW-is Michael still around? -The Gulf War stuff in this episode was great. I know the show is shot in Hawaii, but the Iraq scenes looked amazing. -There was a few months buildup to the American invasion of Iraq. (The first one). You think that Saddam would have had some time to get everyone to shred his documents. -Crazy French Chick is back! -The Sawyer dynamic is weird now. He's an outcast, but he seemed comfortable. If I had stolen all the guns, you can bet I'd be looking over my shoulder all the damn time. -I never knew "ranch dippin" was a verb. -So the Iraqi/Farsi word for helicopter is "helicopter." I did not know that. -So Locke is on board with the whole Army thing? -Okay, Sawyer is a mean person. We get it! -The dude mined "non-metallic metals?" What the hell are those? He's lying!! -So the timer has a grace period? Maybe it's not a timer. Looked like a slot machine to me. Maybe Locke shouldn't have entered the code- I bet the payout was pretty high this time. Good episode, but I wanted more.

Note to self: Send Rivers a Crock Pot

King Tom — Thu, 16 Feb 2006 12:56:47 +0000

For various reasons, I'm not a fan of the "New York" Times. The paper that claims to get behind the news has turned out a feature story on Rivers Cuomo that really doesn't go anywhere. I suppose it may be interesting for the masses, but there are only four interesting bits (to me) in the whole article: -Rivers is into Jane Austen. Great! So is the Civee! Maybe they can form a book club. -It doesn't really sound like it's the end for weezer:

Remarking on rumors that his enrollment at Harvard means the end of Weezer, he said, "After graduation, I'll be able to make a better commitment to the band."

-Rivers just ended the interview:

With that, he politely asked to be excused and left to find out if the dining hall was still serving lunch.

-And finally, this is the first time I've seen it official that Rivers is getting married. Even though I don't see him getting into the wedding planning, good for him! Congratulations Riv-Dog!

Three To Four

King Tom — Tue, 21 Feb 2006 04:00:23 +0000

King Tom would like to begin this 24 entry with what the kids call a shout out. Happy Presidents Day to former President David Palmer and to a lesser extent, former President Keebler. But not to President Logan, who is just a schmendrick. After a lackluster episode, 24 returned with a bang. Damn fine episode, although I don't have a clue where the season is going. With 24, the plans of the villians dictate where the season goes. It feels like the reins of this season are being handed from bad guy to bad guy, each with a different plan. I wonder if the 24 creative crew actually have a plan for this season of if they're just making it up as they go along. Either way, I like it so far. -The bad guys sure got to the bigger bad guy's hideout pretty quickly, didn't they? -Nice knowing you Yellow Tie Guy! -Logan said something like "take responsibility and do your job." Does he ever listen to his own advice? -I think McGill's diapers need to be changed. He's just aggravating me this episode. How will taking Jack (who has autonomy from the President) into custody help at all? -I really feel bad for Buchanan, that he has to report to McGill. I read James Morrison, the guy who plays Buchanan, is a yoga instructor and poet. Because of this, I imagine Buchanan lives in a sparsely-decorated home, and sleeps on a stone tablet. Bill Buchanan is the man. -Curtis said something like "Gotta be strange for Audrey- just yesterday, she thought you were dead." Um, Curtis, if I recall correctly, so did you. -Was it me, or did Jack take out Curtis using the Million Dollar Dream?! -When the terrorist called to talk to Logan, and he was all "I'm not talking to a terrorist," I was waiting for this to happen: Logan: "Tell them I'm not here" Novick: "They know you're here, sir" Logan: "Tell them I've crapped my pants and I'm in the bathroom." Novick: "Sir, take the call" [forces phone into Logan's hands] Logan: [into phone] "Presidente Logan no está aquí." [hangs up phone] How awesome would that have been. -Okay, Nathanson was just stupid. He didn't need to reach for that other gun. He should have known Jack was on his way, and was going to take out the chopper with just his handgun. Is that multiple choppers Jack has now taken out? -My pet peeve about this episode- If memory serves, when the Russian President arrived at the summit, he arrived by helicopter. But all the scuttlebutt this episode was about his motorcade. Why is he traveling a different way back than the way he arrived?

I have interesting visitors

King Tom — Tue, 21 Feb 2006 04:06:41 +0000

Kind of an addendum to my earlier post (written two minutes ago) about 24. I was looking through my sitemeter log, and today, noticed two visitors who googled ""jean smart" 24 cleavage" and "24 first lady jean cleavage". Now, I have referred to Logan's wife as the "First lady of cleavage" on multiple occasions. However, these two visitors didn't stay too long. So I guess they were looking for a little bit more than a snarky nickname in text form. Interesting people out there on the Internet.

Rise and shine campers and don’t forget your booties…

King Tom — Fri, 24 Feb 2006 11:35:11 +0000

I'm really glad today is Friday. I set my alarm to wake me up every morning at 6:17 (random time, I know). The alarm is set to the local pop station, WBNS-FM. Usually, I don't listen to this station (except for Friday Night 80s), but I have it set there for my alarm because I don't like waking up to a buzzer, the station doesn't have one of those lame morning shows, and the reception on my little clock radio is decent. Anyway, the point of this story, today is the third time this week (including yesterday) that they've played Green Day's "Wake Me When September Ends" as my alarm has gone off. Nevermind the fact that even though I like Green Day, this is my least favorite song of theirs. As soon as I heard the song, I got up and switched the radio off, because I didn't want to wait around and see if the idiotic radio banter was the same as yesterday. But I admit, I was a little bit paranoid until I turned on my computer and saw that today was not yesterday.

Phil: Do you know what today is? Rita: No, what? Phil: Today is tomorrow. It happened. -Groundhog Day

Bye-bye Alderaan!

King Tom — Fri, 24 Feb 2006 23:05:56 +0000

From space.com:

Astronomers have detected a new type of cosmic outburst that they can't yet explain. ... Other aspects of the newfound eruption were inexplicable, astronomers said. It was dimmer than most. Even so, the newly spotted point of light in the sky outshines the entire galaxy in which the event occurred.

The eggheads at NASA say it's some kind of gamma ray burst. But I think they're missing the obvious: Sounds like we better get the eggheads working on those X-Wings.

Happy incompetent bosses’ day!

King Tom — Tue, 28 Feb 2006 04:03:17 +0000

As the clock ticks down, another hour of 24 fades... Kind of weird, but Jack didn't really seem like the center of attention this hour- but this was a great episode of 24. It had action and tension and Special Agent Aaron Pierce going Rambo, but we'll get to that later. Some thoughts: -Logan, asked whether he should alert the motorcade "Yes...no!...uggh!!" If Logan had Palmer's cabinet from season 2, they would have invoked the 25th Amendment the first time he had an upset stomach in the Oval Office. -It's a shame that I'm thinking of this now- but Logan has this Don Knotts vibe. Maybe he's Knotts' son or something. Rest In Peace, Don. -Tonight, Edgar got two lines from the ladies that he'd been waiting years to hear: Clöhe: "Meet me in the server room in three minutes" and later, "Edgar, I need you to put a blanket on my subnet." I think Edgar's going to get some before the day is over! -They finally bring in RoboCop. My first reaction to seeing Peter Weller was "damn, he's wearing his pants pretty high there." -He's only been in charge a few hours- Is there anyone at CTU who doesn't want to shoot McGill? Why didn't they think of this Section 112 thing earlier? -Great moment of the season #2: "I'm relieving you of your command." Great moment #3: "Release Bill Buchanan." About time Curtis stepped up. Wonder if he's still pissed at Jack for putting him in the Million Dollar Dream. -If I was working at CTU when they carted off McGill, I would have gone up to him, flipping him the bird and shouting "who's the boss now, biotch?!" Those CTU employees exercise amazing restraint. -So the bad guys who hit the motorcade had bazookas, machine guns and flamethrowers. Looked like refugees from S.P.E.C.T.R.E. training. -I really thought Aaron was dead. I don't know why I doubted his awesomeness, but I thought he was a goner. And then he goes and kills the three attackers, hitting the final one in the flamethrower. Guess that bad guy received a Napalm Enema. -How long did it take Jack and RoboCop to walk across the campus to get to the bunker? -Okay, RoboCop is definitely a bad guy- namedropping Nina and Mason like that. -I can't belive that RoboCop pulled the wool over Jack's eyes. Mr. Bauer, I'm disappointed. -RoboCop has a pretty kickass theme song. Next week: Two hours!

The second stage is denial

King Tom — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 22:11:04 +0000

At the end of the aught-five baseball season, the last thing I wanted the Yankees to do was sign Johnny Damon. I've since changed my mind, and conversations like the following (with a Red Sox fan) make the signing even better for me:

(in a discussion about the '05 playoffs) Red Sox Fan: The Yankees couldn't even handle the Angels! Me: They only lost that series becaues Bubba Crosby forgot how to play centerfield. RSF: What makes you think he's going to learn to play the field this year? Me: He won't be out in center this year. RSF: Oh yeah? Who'd they get to roll out there? (serious question) Me: Johnny Damon. RSF: Oh. Yeah. sonofa...

Creep me out

King Tom — Thu, 02 Mar 2006 03:37:26 +0000

What if stuff happened on an island, and no one told anybody else? You'd have an episode of Lost that surprisingly answers some questions! Tonight we had an oasis in a desert of Lost reruns. A good, but frustrating episode that revolved around all on-island flashbacks. -I know I say this every episode- what happened to everyone living up at the caves? -"So you're a shrink, right?" Why do I have a feeling that a lot of island conversations start with "so you're a [insert pre-island line of work here], right?" -So Ethan is a doctor? He's still creepy. All the flashbacks in this episode were creepy. I called the girl being crazy French chick's daughter at her second appearance. And non-beardo/Zeke is creepy too. Did non-beardo/Zeke sat that he reports to someone else? Looks like Claire stumbled upon the creepy hatch this week. -The disembodied voice coming from the safe was kind of funny. That guy is so an other it's not funny. -A few weeks ago, Eko was marking trees that he liked. Now he's chopping trees with markings down. Make up your mind!! -Loved the Eko/Jack confrontation. Jack does know better than to lie to a priest. -So the girl squad finds the second hatch, open it up and walk inside. But they leave the doors open! Don't they know they're letting rain inside? -Does Dharma brand EVERYTHING? -I don't know if it was me, but during the flashbacks, it looked like there were some other tunnels/hallways in the medical hatch. Why didn't the girls explore those? -When Eko walked into the vault, he scared me on two accounts: 1) I first thought he was going to start up an island chapter of Amnesty International. 2) Putting the knife up to his throat. Don't scare me like that! -That guy is so an other (yes, I know I said that before). I can't believe Locke is getting played.

People getting their own domain names

King Tom — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 22:37:57 +0000

The first entry in this edition of Some People Have Way Too Much Time On Their Hands is Lost related. Creative, but I could only stand a few seconds: www.waaalt.com Our second entry is of a former base baller who has a lot of pictures of himself on his Web site. Too bad I'm not in the area anymore, I'd go for a batting lesson with the Balb: www.stevebalboni.com

A victim of my own klutziness

King Tom — Mon, 06 Mar 2006 00:36:02 +0000

I'm kind of immobile right now. That's my left foot. My ankle is broken. Happened yesterday and I don't know how long I'll be on the shelf for. This is what, the second or third time I've had to withdraw from the 2006 MLB season? They're better off without me for the time being. I should also take this time to thank the Civee for taking care of me (and Iron Mike for helping get my car). I drove myself to the hospital, but the Civee has done everything else. I just hope I don't get too surly from doing nothing over the next few days.

Damn you 24 producers!

King Tom — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 03:20:53 +0000

Well that back-to-back double dose of 24 was interesting. First of all, I'm pissed that they killed Edgar. I know, I know, no one's safe, everybody's gotta go blah blah blah, but did they really have to make him go out like the rest of the now deceased chumps at CTU? Here's a guy that caught at least one mole at CTU, saved power plants from melting down and just wanted to get a little closer to Chlöe . At least he got the silent timer. I'm glad these episodes were back-to-back. I could have done without the previouslies to kick off the second hour, but I can't complain about the lack of credits/previews/commercials between the two hours. Anyway: -I didn't notice that Tony re-grew the soul-patch. -I have a feeling that before the end of the day, Aaron's going to take out Logan. -Speaking of the weasel, Logan: "It's my job to handle impossible situations." I think this is something that he's only realizing now. -So Logan tells Yuri his wife is crazy. I have a feeling that Yuri is going to tell all the other world leaders. And news of the first lady of cleavage's mental instability is going to be the big gossip among the international community. I can just see it now- the Premier of Craplakistan cracking on Logan because his wife's crazy. (By the way, the First Lady of Cleavage is played by Jean Smart. I put this in here to get more google hits from those weirdos who google such things.) -Was it me, or was I the only one saying "Oh yes he is" when Henderson's wife said "You don't need the gun Jack, you're not going to shoot me." -That scene near the end of hour one- where Curtis and the hazmat team were running the nerve gas out of the hospital- if I were there, I would have thought a bunch of costumed jackasses were trying to steal the hospital coffee machine. -So after Jack "died," Kim's life hasn't been so good. Chase dumped her. She joined a rock band that dumped her. And she hooked up with C. Thomas Howell. I'd say she was better off with the cougar. -Leland Palmer is the Vice President? What? Don't they screen these people? I'm sure Special Agent Cooper filed a complete report. All Jack has to do is call Diane. -I felt like the middle section of hour two went nowhere. -Was it me, or was the guy who invaded CTU a dead ringer for Philip Seymour Hoffman? -Sad to see Edgar die. I wish Louis Lombardi well. Of course I'll tune in next week, but it'll be a little less fun.

I didn’t think anybody could be this stupid.

King Tom — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 22:27:51 +0000

Because of my condition, I've spent a lot of time watching television. Caught an episode of the Ray Combs-era Family Feud. The category was "holidays held on a Monday that lead to a three-day weekend." This woman's answer? You got it: Thanksgiving. Just had to share that.

My new footwear

King Tom — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 23:09:02 +0000

So I went to the orthopedist. And while I won't need surgery on my ankle, I won't be able to walk for a few more weeks. I did however, get what M.C. Hammer would call "fresh new kicks." (Although, I only got one, so it's a fresh new kick): The best thing is it has that pump and valve. Just like the sneakers I wanted back in seventh grade. Funny thing- after seeing the X-Rays, the doctor said it was the oddest break he'd ever seen. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not. I get to drive again, so I'll be back at work tomorrow. In some of my spare time today, I wrote a new article for The Morning Toast on why weezer appeals to nerds. I don't think they're a nerd band, but I see the appeal. What do I know?

How can you not want to shoot Barry?

King Tom — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 03:55:21 +0000

I don't think it was a bad episode, but I didn't like tonight's episode of 24. First of all, it was one of those transitional episodes. Secondly, it had the bureaucrats mobilizing for future action, which is never a good thing. Thirdly, the first lady of cleavage was wearing a turtle neck. That alone means the number of hits I get from people looking for pictures of Jean Smart's cleavage will decrease dramatically unless I result to cheap tactics like this one. -I hope Louis Lombardi got paid well for that drool shot. -I liked the conflict between the red shirt and Lynn. If the red shirt was supposed to represent the "common man," how could he hold back wanting to beat the crap out of him during their short time together. -I almost liked Logan this episode- probably because he came close to admitting he was a putz. -I think everyone in the conference room wanted to shoot Barry by the end of the hour. -Is Tony alive? Dead? In a coma? Travelling through time? -Speaking of Tony, last weekend I was watching re-runs of the final few episodes of Season/Day 2. During that day, Tony broke his ankle around midnight. But he's off crutches and walking around (with a limp) just a few hours later. Why can't I have Tony's remarkable healing abilities? I didn't like the episode much, so that's all I have to say.

Ask a stupid question (II)

King Tom — Wed, 15 Mar 2006 22:27:39 +0000

I've been back to work a week since my injury. I still can't walk without crutches. I've learned that whenever people who haven't seen you on crutches see you, they ask two things: a) Are you all right? and 2) What happened? In the week I've been back to work, I've answered the second question with the following: -Fell off a treadmill. -I was being stupid. -I could tell you but I'd have to kill you. -Rescuing orphans from a house fire. -Damn steel cage match! -Damn midgets! -Jack Bauer shot my foot because he thought I was withholding information. I'm kind of running out of answers to the question. Anyone have any ideas? Best answer gets a box of Pocky!

The day’s more than half over

King Tom — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 03:18:26 +0000

To avoid spoiling you, dear reader, I'll hide my feelings on this week's 24 'till after the jump. I didn't like last week's episode at all. I was thinking the same of this week's- it just didn't do anything for me, until the words "Department of Defense" in the final scene. I don't know where they're going with it, but it looks like things will get interesting, rather than Jack and company just playing find the Euros like they've been doing the last few episodes. Some things: -So Curtis was at CTU for a minute, and he's already ready to hit the road? Geez, he moves fast! -Logan really needs to take some public speaking classes. I don't think a President should sound paranoid or roll his eyes in an address where he's putting the nation's second largest city under martial law. But that's just me. And because I probably won't mention it elsewhere tonight, let me just say: Jean Smart! First lady of cleavage! There, that'll keep the weirdos coming. -He's said two lines this episode and I want someone to kill this Miles guy. And soon. Update: Chlöe's hot-coffee trick was nice, but the guy needs to be put in his place more than that. -So Desmond left the island and he's hanging out with another French chick. Okay, if you don't watch Lost, you won't get that. -What operating system do the bad guys use? Is it open-source? -So was Vice President Leland Palmer on the phone with Arnold? I don't think Leland Palmer (possesed by BOB or not) would be bossing around the Terminator like that. -Buchanan should tell Hayes that reprecussions don't affect Jack Bauer. -I digged the music during the scene where they apprehended Cölette. Or wherever her name was. -And of course Jack double-crossed Desmond. I think it's abundantly clear that Jack Bauer should be running the world. -Cölette: "everyone is for sale." First, they have Jack use the Million Dollar Dream on Curtis. Now this quote. Is Ted DiBiase a writer for 24 now? -"CTU was hit, but we're still doing our job." -About time Bill steps up for himself. -That ending scene was great. The rest of the episode, not so much. If you need some extra 24-ertainment, check out Blogs4Bauer.

Oh yeah, I watch this show too!

King Tom — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 03:21:10 +0000

After what seems like the fifth multi-week hiatus this season, Lost returns! This episode was mediocre. It picked up in the closing scenes, but I feel, as a loyal viewer, that if you're going to make me wait multiple weeks for a new episode, I want something big to welcome me back to the world of Lost. The only thing this episode was big on was melodrama. The scenes with Jin, Sawyer and Bernard on the beach and Ana-Lucia and Sayid by the campfire were good- hell, Ana-Lucia stole the show for me this week. And like I said, I liked the closing scenes- but overall, the episode was a bit flat. But I guess not every episode of Lost can kick ass. Some individual thoughts: -Was Sawyer reading "Are you there God, it's me, Margret?" He must be really bored. -Is it me, or are they deliberately trying to make every woman on this show seem unfaithful? -Looks like Henry picked up on the torture from Sayid and has decided to give a little more details to the burying story. -"Are you lookin at my bum?" At least they didn't have Charlie call her a cheeky-monkey. -I'd like to know what kind of prizes are at the bottom of a Dharma-brand box of corn flakes. Maybe a heiroglyphics decoder ring?

Jack has entered “upset” mode

King Tom — Tue, 28 Mar 2006 03:33:18 +0000

After two lackluster weeks, the show I know as 24 is back. Random thought during the previouslies: This show would be a lot different if Wayne Brady played the part of Wayne Palmer. If that were the case, I'd want to see Colin Mochrie play the part of Aaron Pierce and Tony Slattery play Jack. The show was back to it's normal self. I wasn't surprised with the Audrey swerve, even though part of me wanted her to be involved. Although you wonder how low she went to get busy with Walt. Nice action piece/game of beat the clock at the end. Although, if the nerve gas was all destroyed in the explosion, what's left for the bad guys? Or will the remainder of the season be 9 hours of the jaws of life cutting through a random police car. Anyway, on to the thoughts about this episode: -How did Miles get cleaned up so quickly? -When they were having the conversation about whether or not to torture Audrey, the only thing I could think is, "well, Heller's already had one of his kids tortured- I think he's the kind of guy who thinks it would be good for her too." -I'm ready to nominate Jack for sainthood. How he could go through a day like this (not to mention the previous seasons) without dropping one f-bomb is beyond me. -So can anyone at CTU pop up full-screen live video of the torture cam on their desktop? Talk about a workspace perk! -Chlöe was being real patient with the new girl. -Sometimes I think when they introduce new CTU employees, instead of it being someone mirroring their key demographic, they should bring in some old, fat, balding, cigar-chewing Ed Asner type who goes on and on about the "damn commies." It would introduce some workplace diversity to CTU. -Audrey was recovering from losing Jack, so she sleeps with the guy who planned his death. Karma's a bitch. -Someone tell the new girl Chlöe doesn't need to be told details. She gets them. -It disgusts me to see Jack grovel to somone like Karen. -I'm no expert but here's a tip that terrorists are about to intrude: A random truck pulls up in the middle of the night (during a period of martial law). A shady guy with some weird accent pops out saying "we have an important delivery." I've never taken a class in the field, but I believe that's a warning sign of some type. -I want a phone where I can just yell into it "get me the president" and be taken seriously. -The post-torture scene between Jack and Audrey was actually nice. -Oh great, this new chick is even more emotionally fragile than Chlöe. Of course, the worse part of this is it gives Miles some credibility. -Is setting off a bomb in a natural gas plant a good idea? -A minute later: I didn't think so. -Jack running from the exploding plant reminded me of the Lando Calrissian-piloted Millennium Falcon escaping the exploding Death Star. -How exactly did the explosion knock out Bierko? And this has nothing to do with this week's episode of 24, but for a guy who died three years ago, George Mason is in the news a lot lately. What gives? For more 24-tainment, check out blogs4bauer.

Day-glo maps and the doors of mystery

King Tom — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 03:31:17 +0000

I don't know if it's just me, but the last few weeks of TV (in my world, that's Lost and 24) haven't been too good. But this week, it's a different story. A much better episode of Lost than last week. I don't know if that's because of the people they chose to focus on, or because they showed a little more of the mysterious hatch of mystery, but I liked this episode. My thoughts: -Peggy Bundy's back! She's a great actress, but I feel bad, because she'll always be Peggy Bundy. -I guess Henry is the one who pissed in Jack's cheerios this particular morning. -The balloon reveal was real cool. Too bad the stinking previews ruined it. -Was Locke listening to "Papa Loves Mambo" when he was on the exercycle? -Yeah, crowbars are good for opening doors. But I think that particular set of doors may be a little hefty for a crowbar. -Oh great- they're having a celebrity poker challenge on the island. At least they're using Dharma Brand Playing Cards. -Was Locke inspecting a house for Sayid's chick? -At least Locke didn't go through the door head first. -I have a pair of crutches that I'm not going to be using in another week or so. Locke can have them if the price is right. -When are they going to start selling Dharma brand Mac & Cheese in Kroger?

Finally the King has returned

King Tom — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 02:59:02 +0000

For the first time in what seems like forever, I went out for my hour of me. I've been able to walk without assistance for a few days- though I still use crutches for the long hauls, mostly the two blocks from the parking lot to my office. Because of the injury, I had been bringing lunch to work and eating it in my office. That seems to make the day go even slower, because I don't get a chance to get out. Today was different. I was able to meet the St. Tommy's Day crew for our weekly lunch. That, combined with the clear skies and near-70 degree weather put me in a good mood that I haven't been in in a while. Now if I can only get rid of this damn boot. Some other things: -Even though I didn't mention it in my weekly 24 commentary, I'm still getting hits from people looking for the First Lady of Cleavage. Keep on visiting weirdos! -I'm also getting hits from people looking for information on Rivers Cuomo getting married. -Speaking of Weezer, the Man (Karl) has revised the band's recording history. The newest page details the making of Make Believe, which was released last year. I think this kind of stuff is fascinating. But that's just me. But I also really liked Make Believe.

Enter Sandman, Year 11

King Tom — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 22:44:29 +0000

Eleven years ago, the Yankees had a pair of Panamain prospects. Newspapers called prospect one "the next Mickey Mantle." Prospect two, his cousin, was a lanky pitcher who could reach the mid 90s, but was a few years removed from Tommy John surgery. In the years that followed, one of those players established a Hall of Fame career and is arguably the best ever player in his role. The other prospect floundered as a Yankee, was traded, re-acquired and released after stealing Derek Jeter's glove and selling it to a memorabilia dealer. You've probably guessed prospect one is Ruben Rivera, the international glove thief. Prospect two is Mariano Rivera. Today, the Bergen Record published an interesting story about Rivera, the Mariano variety. As a Yankee fan, I know I'm lucky to have him on "my" team- especially for this long. I actually remember Mo's first big league game. It was in early May of my senior year of high school. Due to injuries, Mariano was called up to make a start against the California Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in Orange County, United States of America , Planet Earth, Sol Solar System, the Milky Way, 92806. I was without cable at the time, and the game was on Channel 11. I watched as Mariano breezed through the lineup the first time through. The second time through, they had his number and he got bombed. Despite showing occasional flashes of brilliance throughout the rest of '95, Mariano didn't really catch on for another year, when Joe Torre started using him as a setup man to John Wetteland. It was then that you could tell he was something special. Then-Twins Manager Tom Kelly said that Mo's fastball should be "banned from baseball," and the '96 Yankees developed a rhythym where if they were leading after six innings, the game was effectively over. As the story goes, the Yankees let Wetteland go after '96 and let Mo be the closer. And I've been lucky enough to watch Mo close games every April to October since. I've even seen him pitch a number of times in person (two of my most memorable are Game 6 of the '98 ALCS (sorry djl) and Game 4 of the '99 Series (sorry Stan)). As great as he's been, there have been times when he's made Yankee fans nervous. And I can think of two pitches of his that I'd rather he threw something else. Over the past 11 years, Rivera has been one of the cornerstones of a great Yankees run. I hope I get to keep watching. Not bad for a guy who was just the cousin of the guy who was supposed to be the next Mantle.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

King Tom — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 22:36:21 +0000

Happy Opening Day! The Yankees are starting out the season on the West Coast, with crappy weather. When they start seasons with these factors, they usually start slowly, but good things end up happening nonetheless. It'll be an interesting season- and I'm glad. The off season takes too long. Last night, I had the annual WrestleMania bash. The show was fun, and actually better than I expected. The triple threat match should have been the main event, but the best part of the show, for me, was Triple H losing his third WM main event in a row. Why they push him (other than the fact that he's married to the boss' daughter) is beyond me. The match was utterly horrible and HHH's entrance was ridiculous, the guy is out of shape, can't wrestle and needs to give up his obsession with Lemmy from Motorhead. One interesting thing, during the Women's title match, the crowd was cheering for the heel, the "obsessed fan." The announcers played it off, saying they were performing in front of a "non-traditional crowd." Four matches later, the crowd was cheering for Triple H, the heel, over the face champion Cena. The very same announcers said the crowd was reacting this way because it was a "traditional crowd." What, in between the matches, did all 20,000+ fans leave and they let another 20,000+ fans in the building? Geez! Anything can happen in the WWF!

Out of left field

King Tom — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 04:24:21 +0000

24: 10 p.m. -11 p.m. I didn't see that coming. Second good episode of 24 in a row that had some things that bugged me, but the closing scenes were cool enough. My thoughts: -Audrey got reinstated pretty quickly. Five minutes after being tortured, she's picking up and using strange earpieces. -The visual of Jack walking through the smoke was pretty cool. -Last week, Jack was upset. Now he's "scared." This season is definitely taking us to new places. -When does Vice President Leland Palmer's hair turn gray? -Thank you for answering how Wayne got the gun. -Evelyn actually matters to the plot. I didn't see that one coming. -Jean Smart can sure rock a turtleneck! No First Lady of Cleavage jokes this week (or, did I already use that last week?). -The bad guys kidnapped Evelyn's daughter. Was I asleep during a previous hour? -Karen addressing the CTU staff from the second floor looked to me like Mussolini's address from the balcony. -Can Miles stand up straight? Every time he talks to someone, he's hunched over. He's like the Homeland Security Hunchback. -I think Kim Raver (Audrey) is forgetting that her character was tortured less than an hour ago. -Chlöe is not going to like being a political pawn. -So they're firing all the CTU employees. Does that mean Sexual Harassment Sherry is on her way out after just one episode? Good. -How does Wayne handle everyone saying what a great guy his brother is? I don't think I've ever heard anyone (except for David) say anything good about Wayne. The guy must have a huge inferiority complex. Although, for a member of the Palmer family, I'd rather have him around than any of the kids. -I've liked the music so far this season. Except for this episode. Too soap-opera-ey. -The showdown at the whatever that place was supposed to be was pretty cool. Although, you think being a great strategist, Jack would have had Evelyn stash the evidence somewhere else. -Damn good reveal at the end. I'm not sure I'm happy with it. I'm trying to figure out how he could have pulled it off. And I don't know if I buy Charles Logan as Verbal Kint. But it beats going with the bad guy being VP Leland Palmer, which would have been a bit obvious. Now instead of being evil, he's just crazy. And instead of being just a clueless putz, Logan is an evil putz. Nice tradeoff.

Freakout Island

King Tom — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 11:00:56 +0000

Good episode of Lost, even if it didn't give the people what they want. So you have a compelling TV show, full of mysteries and drama. You have a cliffhanger episode, with a character who could solve some mysteries in a position where he could possibly shed some light on things. What do you do the next week? Give that character a few minutes of screen time while focusing on other characters. The only reason last night worked for me was because it was about Hurley. If they had pulled that and done a Charlie episode, for instance, I would have been pissed. I thought it was a compelling story with a great twist at the end, and even though I wanted to see the interrogation of not Henry Gale, I didn't mind that much. Other thoughts: -That was some stash Hurley had. I would have figured a few boxes of Dharma-brand Twinkies, but that looked like a lot more than a few boxes. -"All mango diet"? I'd be dead in a day. Unless someone cut them up for me. -So Hurley and Libby were about to have their Han and Leia kiss, and Jin, the guy who speaks one language, plays the part of C-3PO and ruins it. It all goes back to Star Wars. -Libby told Hurley she was proud of him for not freaking out. Was she paying attention? The guy ran away screaming. -Is Hurley's accident anything like the island "incident"? -It's pretty obvious Sayid and Ana Lucia are playing good cop, bad cop. -I believe the guy who played Dave also played the slimy Amnesty International-style lawyer on 24 last season. I'd like to one day figure out all the actors who have been on Alias, Lost and 24. -Sounds like they eat pretty good in the funny farm. -So Locke's a cripple again. I know what he's going through. Or did, because I'm off the crutches again. -Damn, Sawyer's a wuss. It was fun watching him get beat up. -So why doesn't anyone live in the caves? -How much would it have rocked, if when, Hurley started eating the peanut butter, Dave walked up and said, "so tell me, for five thousand dollars, who shot Alexander Hamilton?" -I so didn't see Dave being fake. -Can't imaginary friends just walk through windows/doors? -Libby's nice and all, but I think she's a Two-Face. -Damn. Freaky ending. Cool, but freaky.

For Sale: A pair of crutches

King Tom — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 02:12:04 +0000

I can walk again without the assistance of crutches. I still have my fresh new kick, but only for another week. I have this pair of crutches, lightly used, set for someone who's 6'3" (or so) and I have no idea what to do with them. I'll probably throw them in a closet and forget about them.

She blinded me. With Science!

King Tom — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 02:02:46 +0000

Thomas Dolby has a blog.

Guess he should have stayed in the bank.

King Tom — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 02:19:40 +0000

In honor of First Lady Martha Logan, last Friday was declared National Cleavage Day. Okay, it was in South Africa and it has nothing to do with 24, but I need to attact the other weirdos somehow. Thoughts on 11:00-midnight: Damn good episode. It's a bit different with Jack not having to stop some cataclysmic act of terrorism within a certain time period. Right now, his only goal is to take down Logan as soon as possible- and you know they're going to drag it out until 7:00 or so. Whether that's a good thing will depend on how many hoops Jack et. al will have to jump through throughout the rest of the day. Quick, pointless thoughts about the hour: -Why was Jack looking through the hotel window? I don't think now is the appropriate time for that sort of behavior. -At least Wayne is good with kids. Come to think of it, I hope they don't bring back the Palmer kids. -Now that Logan is evil, he gets the bad guy lighting. Makes you wonder if they had to bring in a new lighting tech, or grip, or even best boy for that kind of change. -New for the manpurse: a home alarm cracking kit. Nice to know they're updating the manpurse for the spring season. -Audrey's being sneaky and Jack is playing bad cop. I like where this episode is going. -I didn't like how Logan was talking to the VP. He's going to make BOB angry and the First Lady is going to wind up dead. Wrapped in plastic. -The little girl is a dumbass. -Most of the stuff -in terms of plotlines and technology, for some reason, I can buy. I can suspend my disbelief for the hour. But the one thing that reminds me that this is a TV show- seeing the bank window saying the branch was open until 6:00. Now who's going to believe that? -I have a feeling the First Lady of Cleavage is going to be pissed when she finds out the truth. -I'm glad RoboCop called Logan. The last thing I needed to see was some Logan Lovin. -Why is Sexual Harassment Sherry still there? Didn't she get fired with the rest of the leftovers? -I think someone in Hollywood came up with the following idea: Let's take a bunch of Jack Bauer's lines from 24 ("XX taught me everything I know." "HOLSTER YOUR WEAPON!"), and make a movie with Kiefer Sutherland as a government agent speaking in nothing but those lines. Good episode. I'm looking forward to next week.

Job Fair- CTU Style

King Tom — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 23:31:36 +0000

With the recent revelation that FOX is giving a few more seasons/days to 24, and the fact that the show kills about a character an hour, it's pretty much certain the show is going to introduce new characters in future years. I've been thinking that as great as the 24 writers are, their skills have been limited in one way- coming up with things for CTU staff to do. All we've seen are analysts/computer people, field agents, doctors, redshirts and administrators. To keep things interesting, I propose adding the following positions to the CTU workforce. We know these people exist somewhere, or CTU wouldn't function. Let's see them on TV! Graphic Artist: In past seasons, within minutes of identifying a major terror suspect, all the big screens at CTU display slide shows of the suspect featuring pictures of the suspect in action, x-rays and baby pictures. Someone talented puts these together. I'm sure in they're off time when they're not at threat level red, they do constructive things, like put pictures of Chloe's head on Princess Leia's body. Purchasing Agent: Where do they get those wonderful toys? Well, this is the person that can find cell phones that can blow up bad guys and duffel bags that can hold a human head. Sure, she gets pissy when you crash your deluxe CTU SUV, but she knows how to get this stuff at a discount. Internal Traffic Coordinator: CTU has a lot of rooms. Rooms for torture. Rooms for servers. Bathrooms. This is the person that you go to when you need to find a "conversation room" for the suspect you've just brought in and your favorite room is already being used by Jack. This is also the person that will keep family members out of the rooms their loved ones were recently killed in. Cook: Those CTU folks need to eat sometime. Since the only things around CTU are a parking lot, a backalley and the rest of LA within five minutes driving time, CTU has to have some type of cafeteria or commissary on campus. I see this being as more of a Mel from "Alice" type and not some primadonna-Wolfgang Puck-type who will browbeat everyone into trying the latest batch of foie gras at inopportune times. OSHA Compliance Coordinator: CTU isn't exactly the safest place to work. It's got ventilation issues and possible weak masonry from the last bomb attack. The federal government needs to hire someone to keep the workplace safe, or 24 Season 7 may feature Jack fighting against time to keep CTU from being shut down. Any other ideas? This week's thoughts on 24 here.

Last Lost of the month

King Tom — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 02:36:27 +0000

Normally, I'd be pissed about there not being a new Lost next week. But considering Alias is returning for its end run, I'm not too worried. Upon seeing the preview for tonight's episode focused on Rose and Bernard, I didn't think this episode would be that good. But fortunately, for me, I was wrong. I enjoyed the episode, and I'm just amazed that the show can give this many good episodes with strong stories that don't really come close to solving any mysteries. Individual thoughts: -Where in the world did Bernard grow up with strange food being dropped from the sky? -So Locke's trying to re-create the hidden map from the blast door. Too bad he can't use the hatch computer, or he'd know that people have already solved the map. What it all means, on the other hand, is a different story. -If Henry really wanted to be annoying, he'd just repeat everything back that Jack said to him. -Did Bernard know Rose was an anti-dentite when he married her? -Henry's smile: creepy. -I liked Eko laying the theological smackdown on Bernard. I also think Charlie's "I like you just the way you are" was the line of the night. -The preview (for this week) said "romantic sparks fly between Jack and Kate." Yep, that incident in the net was the most romantic game of grabass I've ever seen.

Sleepover at Bill Buchanan’s house!!

King Tom — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 02:24:41 +0000

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The 12:00 a.m. and p.m. thing bugs me. It's either noon or midnight. Not-so-deep thoughts on this week's 24: Good episode. It wasn't until the last 10 minutes that I noticed Jack was hardly in it. We know who, and pretty much why. The rest of the season should be a mixture of frustrating and interesting (frustinteresting?) as we watch Jack try and take down Logan. Because we all know it's going to take another seven hours. The thoughts, directly from my brain to the keyboard, to you: -So was Logan supposed to be some evil genius all along (even dating back to last season), or is he falling ass-backwards into this mastermind role? My guess is that even though he's a bumbling idiot, Heller's "I was afaid" line kind of gives away that he had something like this planned all along. -I can be quite sarcastic. If my boss were to ask me some stupid question like "where are we?" I'd answer with something like "Planet Earth, last time I checked." I wish Hayes would have done the same. Logan deserves that at the very least. -Reality check question #1: When did Jack call Bill? -So Jack connects all the dots in the hangar. Was he taking some political science correspondence courses during his exile in Northern California? -Give Heller another 30 pounds, a Boston accent and a bottle of whiskey in his hand, and all of a sudden, Ted Kennedy has joined the 24 cast. Still, regardless of the resemblance, Bill Devane owns this role. -I didn't see Heller's heel turn coming, but I hope Jack made a copy of that recording. --Reality check question #2: Doesn't Chlöe know you're supposed to hang up after five rings? -So CTU is taken over by the Department of Homeland Security. Are they so territorial that they have to change the shirt color of the redshirts? -For a badass terrorist, RoboCop has a pretty girly sounding ringtone. -Who's this? Wait...is that Mike Novick? He's still alive? Now that I think about it, take away the steady job and about 20 years, and you have George Costanza. -Gardner: "I can see this both ways." I'd like to know which way BOB sees it. The more and more we see him this season, the more and more I hope Logan winds up wrapped in plastic. -How in the world did Miles not notice Chlöe stealing his key card. I think you have to be hard of feeling not to feel that swipe. -That scene between Heller and Logan was great. Stick those two in a cage and let them face off for the remainder of the day. -Looks like this new James Bond theme officially belongs to Chlöe. -I'm glad Buchanan is back. Wayne's there, and Chlöe's coming over. Looks like he's having a big sleepover. Buchanan's place looks cool, but I'm a bit sad that my prediction of his digs turned out totally wrong. -So Jack and Audrey escape from the cell. I get that Jack had to get the recording from the guard. But why was Audrey sticking around? She had a car with unlimited access, couldn't he have said "go to Buchanan's sleepover and I'll meet you there when this is taken care of?" -I was wrong before about Jack not giving Heller a fake recording. He tossed something to Robocop, but I have a feeling he still hasn't learned the art of the old switcheroo. Dude has a PDA that can self-destruct, but he can't make one simple copy? I have a feeling CTU needs better purchasing agents.

They’re partying in Finland tonight

King Tom — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 00:55:29 +0000

Happy birthday to the greatest Old Timey base ball player ever, Conan O'Brien. If there was one person to play me in a movie version of my life, it would be the near-albino Late Night host. He's way funnier than Leno. If only he wasn't on so damn late. I can only hope his long-lost sister Chlöe makes it through the next seven hours.

I’m huge in China

King Tom — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 02:43:46 +0000

After recently checking my referrer log, I noticed I've been getting a few hits from China. All of these hits are coming from a Chinese-language Google ripoff, called baidu. Apparently, the image of my foot in a splint makes the first page of results. However, judging by what else comes up when you search for foot, I don't know if that's a good thing (here's a hint- don't search the site if you're at work). The individual results page is safe, although I hope all the Chinese text doesn't tell the story of how some tall lanky jackass broke his ankle falling off a treadmill.

I hope that’s not an Oceanic flight he’s hopping on

King Tom — Tue, 25 Apr 2006 02:35:37 +0000

Seems like a lot happened during the 1:00 a.m.- 2:00 a.m. hour. Another great episode, which brings us closer to the end, but nowhere close to solving what's going on and how Jack is going to bring an end to all of this. The last few episodes, for the most part, have solved the previous episodes' cliffhanger in the first ten minutes, allowing the action to move on to something else. I kind of like that. So the Clint Howard clone and the headset club are behind everything. At least this layer. I don't know if it's me, but it feels like bad guys are just popping out of the woodwork. My two complaints about this season, so far are: 1) Too many deaths of meaningful characters. I think that one speaks for itself. B) It seems like the entire population of the state of New Hampshire is working for the bad guys. Who knows, by the end of the day, they may add Vermont to that total. So far, they've had: -The gang that killed Palmer, then went after Chlöe and Jack. -The airport gang. -Yellow Tie's posse. -Bierko's posse, which launched attacks on the mall and the hospital, and the Philip Seymour Hoffman look-alike that hit CTU. -Nathanson's (was that even his name?) group. -Wave after wave of guys working for RoboCop. -The headset gang. -The guy on the plane. And I'm sure there are more to come! Judging from the conversation held by the members of the headset club, they've been planning this for 18 months. I know it's an intricate plan, but haven't they ever heard of keeping teams small so as not to attract attention? Anyway, onto the other pointless thoughts: -Audrey's jacket is ruined. Not to play Mr. Blackwell, but it didn't look good on her anyway. -The episode's first Buchanan-Chlöe moment had some great dialouge. I caught something about how he needed to get a better computer and that he wasn't her boss anymore. But I was laughing too hard to get it all. -I want to hook up my computer to my TV like that. Then I'll be able to see the kingdom as it was meant to be seen. -I thought it was odd that the airbags didn't go off when Jack rammed Henderson's car. Unless he intentionally stole an old car. -Couldn't Heller have just driven into the trees? Remeber what I said earlier about too many meaningful characters being killed off? Well, here you go. Heller was a great character, and while it was well-written, I thought his death was unnecessary. Still, people have come back from that sort of thing. Well, at least Audrey's still got her loser brother around. -Now who is this jackass in the headset bossing Logan around? -That ~~redshirt~~ that brought Sexual Harassment Sherri up to Hayes is going to be in trouble! -I think Logan needs a screw replaced- his head has been bobbing around all over the place all episode. -One thing this season has had going for it is great acting. The scene between the First Lady of Cleavage (played by Jean Smart) and Logan was amazing. I hate Logan as a character, but Gregory Itzin is a great actor. I was real disappointed though that he walked out of that room without at least getting slapped. -So this headset club is behind it all. And they threw out that they've been planning this for 18 months. Does this mean they were behind the stuff Marwan did too, or did they just see an opportunity once Logan took office? -Damn, Curtis sure believes in the dramatic entrances, doesn't he? -The big question of the week: Does Jack have to check the manpurse?

Never a dull moment

King Tom — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 02:30:53 +0000

I have this weird neighbor. The guy's not Kramer-level weird, but he's not quite serial-killer level weird. He's lived in the building for more than 10 years, he doesn't have a car and it's impossible to encounter him without being pulled into a conversation. He seems like a nice guy and all, but he always wants to talk about the weather, and every time I've talked to him throughout the past six years, he's used the phrase "never a dull moment." It's like his catchphrase or something. I was doing some laundry, and saw him a bunch of times walking through the halls carrying stacks of things- DVDs, books, posters. I finally asked him if he was becoming a minimalist or something, and he said he was moving. Across the street. So this probably means that at six years, I now have lived in this building the longest. It would be depressing if I wasn't moving out in September.

Gives a new meaning to fly-by-wire

King Tom — Tue, 02 May 2006 05:22:39 +0000

Because Monday Night Raw was in town, I had to tape 24 tonight. It's a good thing I go in to work at 4 tomorrow afternoon. See, I need my sleep, I could never live in the 24-verse. So to update: The president is bad, and he's being controlled by Lobot and the rest of the headset gang. Jack is on a plane, trying to find the recording. Henderson is in CTU custody. Buchanan is in custody, but not really. Karen's good, but pretending to be bad. Miles is bad, and not pretending to be a prick. He was just born that day. Chlöe's still on the run. Wayne, Aaron, Audrey and Curtis aren't getting paid a cent for this episode. And all of our other favorite characters are still dead. Still, this hour was really good. Feels like they're going to end this season strong- I really feel like I have no idea how this season will play out. Sure Jack will survive because FOX gave Kiefer a nice fat new contract, but I pretend I don't know that when watching. This episode had action, drama, suspense and all that other stuff we watch for. But the best part about this episode- Buchanan's line (more below). Random, not-so-deep thoughts about this hour. -I know Chlöe's smart and all, but hanging out in a hotel bar after midnight isn't the best way for anyone to get work done. -I was a bit disappointed that Jack didn't get to the cabin through the toilet like the dude in Catch Me If You Can. -So is the First Lady of Cleavage (Martha Sugarbaker Logan, as played by Designing Women's Jean Smart) really going crazy, or is she trying to plant some idea in Mike's head? I was busy trying to figure that out rather than complain that her scenes were taking away from the action. -So Lobot gets on the horn to Logan and basically exposits away. Geez, who died and gave him the jackhammer of plot? -Mike's not only the Chief of Staff, he also serves as Martha's Dr. Feelgood. -I love Chlöe moments. Her shocking the barfly was actually better than last season's machine gun incident. -I mentioned Flight 815 last week. Now Jack shouts "Open the damn hatch!" I think this show is turning into Lost. -Lobot can't take his headset off!! That will cause him to cease to be super-smart!! Or something. -I didn't think my admiration/respect for Buchanan could grow any more, but he goes and delivers the line of the season (so far): "You have no idea what you're dealing with you little ass kisser." -If that were real life, I don't think Karen would have been able to keep a straight face after that line. -Geez- Miles must have been a real fun kid to hang out with in elementary school.

It’ll always be wrestling to me

King Tom — Tue, 02 May 2006 05:35:27 +0000

(the weekly 24 post is below this entry) So I went with B.Vaughn and his wife who dares call me a nerd to a live WWE event, Monday Night Raw. I'm sure I've said before that I don't watch wrestling as much as I used to--partially because some of my favorite wrestlers are gone, partially because the storylines are horrible and mostly because I don't care for the wrestlers who they choose to feature all the damn time. We had great seats, first row off the floor, with nothing in front of us. We were right on the other side of the ramp from the boom camera, so we were on TV quite a few times. I made it a point of doing an exaggerated yawn whenever a certain dumbass mustached, talentless, bloated, boring wrestler with an incomprehensible theme song would walk down the ramp. I was surprised at the number of young kids there, including the six-year-old who kept hitting me with his sign. I was considering bringing a sign saying "I'd rather be watching 24," but didn't feel like getting high off permanent markers from making the sign. Still, the show was fun. It was nice to see fellow pirate Charlie Haas back in the quasi-spotlight. And after the show ended, they had the advertised three-way steel cage main event. Which was pretty good. The highlight of the show, however, was a quasi-shoot interview that Joey Styles did after walking off the commentary team:

Six months ago, WWE called ME - because I wasn't looking for a job. Because they had once again embarrassed Jim Ross. Every week - week after week - I got lectured about the differences between pro-wrestling and sports entertainment. I'm not allowed to say 'wrestling' or 'wrestler' I have to say 'Sports Entertainment' and 'Superstar'. I have to ignore moves and holds - so I can tell stories. It's damn insulting to the WRESTLERS who leave their families 300 days a year to ply their craft in THAT RING. So here's the best part. Since I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller, I get pulled from Wrestlemania. Because I apparently sound like Jim Ross, who is the guy they fired in the first place - that makes sense. I get bumped from Wrestlemania... then I get bumped from BACKLASH!?!??! BACKLASH!? On ECW I called live Pay Per Views on my own. ON MY OWN. Hasn't been done since. I am sick of Sports Entertainment. I am sick of Male Chairleaders. I am sick of Boogers. I am sick of semen. I am sick of our Chairman. He makes out with divas to support his own sick ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and I'm sick of all of you fans for supporting this crap. I quit. (thanks to insidepulse.com for the transcription)

Preach on, Joey. And good luck with the ECW revival.

This is such a pity

King Tom — Thu, 04 May 2006 10:45:17 +0000

A night of - - - - - on ABC. - - - - - =death Caught both Lost and Alias last night, and I have a feeling both shows are trying to trim off their cast members. Alias kills off Nadia and Renee, while Lost disposes of Ana-Lucia and Libby. I thought both shows were great (so much so that I didn't even write anything for Lost- I was kind of caught up in the episode). I did however, see Michael's heel-turn coming. I'm just wondering now if the Others brainwashed him, or if he's just gone totally crazy. Regarding the Lost promo for next week: Eko better not die. Or someone will pay. And the new Lost online game looks fun.

DIY SFTBH

King Tom — Fri, 05 May 2006 02:35:58 +0000

In 1995, after the Blue Album was released, Rivers Cuomo began writing the band's follow-up album. Rivers developed a rock opera called Songs From The Black Hole, which told the story of a group of space cadets. The band started recording SFTBH, but enthusiasm for the concept wasn't really there and recording sessions were sporadic at best, with Rivers moving off to his first year at Harvard. At the end of his first semester, the band returned to recording, scrapping the rock opera concept after Rivers showed up with a new concept, a crop of autobiographical songs which would become 1996's Pinkerton. Some of the black hole songs survived, but the rest were seemingly discarded. With the publication of the first version of the weezer recording history, fans were clued in to the original concept. And in early 2002, Rivers himself started funneling some of the original SFTBH demos directly to fans, speaking of an "en masse" distribution of not just the black hole songs, but the hundreds of other songs which he and the band worked on throughout the years, but never officially recorded. For a few years, the band released dozens of songs straight to fans, but that stopped after the summer of 2002, with Geffen finally putting their corporate foot down. The point of all this: things have changed again. In the last week, Rivers started writing blog entries about the held-back songs, saying:

I'm putting up the lyrics now because I suddenly realized that I can. I'll also put up the sheet music (when I have time) so that you can play them for each other! I'll release my home demos as soon as I am legally able.

And he's put up lyrics and music for two songs, one from SFTBH, another a Pinkerton-era b-side. Fans with much more musical talent than I have started to work off these, developing their own versions based off what Rivers has posted. While they're not exactly Rivers'/weezer's demos, it's still an interesting idea. While I'm glad to finally be getting an idea of what the songs were supposed to be like, it'll be nice if we actually get the real versions one day (perhaps when the band is free of its Geffen contract?). I'm also interested in songs from other years- the late 90's hiatus period, the Make Believe era and the future, which for weezer, looks like it's going to happen. If there's one thing I've learned in the past however many years of being a weezer fan, it's that it's going to be interesting. And I'll probably get to hear some good music too.

Logan’s got a gun

King Tom — Tue, 09 May 2006 02:33:37 +0000

But he probably doesn't know how to use it. More not-so-deep 24 thoughts: It's hard to believe there are only three hours left. At least, that's how I feel. Part of that may be is because we haven't been told the bomb/virus/assassination will explode/be released/take place at 6:45 a.m. We know what Jack and company are trying to do. We know who's trying to stop him, but we don't know where and how all the action will take place. And I think I like it this way better. The only problem with this approach is it's unpredictable. In this show, each season has an effect on the ones that follow it. But what if they decide to run with this so long that they don't finish it up this season and decide next season takes place "tomorrow?" Of course we'd watch, but we'd also all probably be really pissed off. And with that, I hope for a speedy resolution that wraps everything up nicely in the next three hours. Thoughts about this episode: -Heller's alive!! He pulled a Derevko! I called it. -Curtis to Audrey (about Sec. Heller) : "We have a team at the hospital, he'll be safe." That doesn't give me the greatest confidence that Heller will remain among the living. -Was that a commercial flight or a diplomatic flight that Jack was hopping on? Wouldn't there be more reprecussions to shooting down a diplomatic flight? Can't they just re-classify it a Federal Express flight, shoot it down and be done with it? From what I hear, Federal Express doesn't take too good care of their packages, so shooting one of their planes down wouldn't matter. -Was it me, or did Mike say the Admiral was stationed at Port Magoo? -The admiral looks familiar. Is that Sugar Ray Leonard? Wow. George's boss has really moved up in life! -Can't Jack transmit the recording to someone on the ground using his magic cell phone? That way, they could authenticate it, create a backup copy, put it on the Internet and mash it up with the Safety Dance to make the surprise music hit of the summer. -Even though Interstates weren't designed to be used as emergency landing strips, I still thought it was a cool plot point. And I liked the way they carried it off. Even if the stopping right before the overpass was a bit cheezy. -The last thing the pilot of a fighter plane about to shoot down an airliner is need to talk to the president as he's doing it. Logan is such a micromanager, I bet he offed Cummings himself. -Talking down the Marine commander proved Curtis is the man. But I bet Curtis' driver peed himself. -If Miles doesn't get killed by the end of the day, I will be very disappointed. This show, more than any other, really knows how to milk those characters everyone hates. -Could they have telegraphed Bierko's head nod of doom to the driver any more? I think they should have had a signal flag guy standing behind Bierko giving the code in semaphore. (Sorry, I've always wanted to work semaphore into a blog entry). -I've noticed it before, but I'm now sick of Logan's pin. I think the pin is Logan's version of Jack's manpurse. -Gregory Itzin can sure act. I know he's not going to do it, but he's doing a hell of a job in the contemplating suicide scene. -So Logan takes a drink. I think he's thinking his last words are going to be "You won't have Chuck Logan to kick around anymore." -Logan's not dying. Is it too much to ask that he be drunk for the remaining three hours of the day? -Wow, Miles turns bad!! What a shocker!! Everyone who didn't see that one coming, raise your hand. Okay, you're the same group of people who missed the flank two code and Bierko's nod of doom, aren't you? -Show's over!! Lobot, Logan, everybody---drink!!

The red herrings that aren’t red

King Tom — Thu, 11 May 2006 03:03:32 +0000

Great episode of Lost tonight. To be honest, I didn't really care too much about what went on in the hatch (or, since more than one was featured, the Swan). I've made no secret of my being an Eko fan- and he delivered this episode. The finding of the Pearl was great, and his continual metaphysical clashes with Locke were great. Locke, who was Mr. Faith last season is straying, and it's up to Eko to bring him back. The new hatch is interesting- and it's possible that the button exercise meant nothing. But then why was there a camera inside the observation hatch? Dr. Candle/Wickman said the purpose of the experiment was important in their minds, but wouldn't go into details for the observation team. I'd like to think there's some meaning to it. But then again, when it comes to Lost, I've always favored the faith point of view. The other red herring they threw at us was the return of Claire's psychic (formerly President of Russia on 24). He kind of admitted to being a fraud, but I think there's more to it than that. How do you explain everything that went on between him and Claire (him being freaked out about the baby, saying no one else must raise it, changing his mind, and then telling her she must be on 815)? I think he was just telling Eko what he wanted to hear. Yet another reason this episode ruled: the pneumatic tubes.

Martha’s Got a Gun

King Tom — Tue, 16 May 2006 02:39:33 +0000

The whole 20-minute delay on this week's episode of 24 really messed up my viewing experience. Sure, I just had to subtract 20 minutes from the real time to get the episode time, but that's too much thinking for me. So we learn this hour that thanks to the head nod of doom, Bierko's free and has a spare cannister of the gas (which acts quicker than ever). Meanwhile, the recording that has been the emphasis of the past five or so hours doesn't work and this whole plan to bring down the president is non-existent. As a viewer, this is the kind of thing that really pisses me off. I have a feeling (mostly from watching the previews) that they'll still try and bring Logan down, but I don't care about Bierko and the cannisters of death anymore. I'm sure I'm not the only person who wants to see Logan, Lobot and the rest of the headset gang brought down in the most expeditious manner possible. If it weren't for the previews, I'd have no hope of that whatsoever--as I was thinking during the episode that they'd relegate that storyline for next season. And I'm just not that patient. Still, the episode was good- and I don't really have that many not-so-deep thoughts this week: -I am very disappointed that Miles got away with just a choke and a slap. He really deserves a beatdown from everyone at CTU. Dear 24 writers: If I had my way, next week, Jack and company would stop Bierko, right after he launched one missile. This single solitary missile would land right on Miles and kill him. It's not too late to make this happen. Love, King Tom. -Even though he's tied up, Aaron can still deliever a beatdown on anyone. First, with the line "Is there anything else...Charles?", and then with his takedown of the evil Secret Service agent. As much as I want Jack to wrap everything up this season, I think Aaron deserves to be the one to deliver justice to Logan. -Speaking of the evil Secret Service agent, they should have brought back the half-man, half-ape from last season who was assigned to kill Jack for this season. -"Bierko's head on a plate" --that'll be an interesting visual to end the season on. -Was it me, or was the gas faster-acting this hour than in earlier episodes? Maybe they'll have Sexual Harrassment Sherri come back for a final appearance to exposit how the gas spreads quicker because of the pressure in the early morning hours. Going to be an interesting final two hours next week. Now if only those programming idiots over at ABC hadn't scheduled the series finale of Alias right up against 24. [Jack Bauer Mode] Dammit!! [/Jack Bauer Mode]

Muchas gracias, El Matador!

King Tom — Tue, 16 May 2006 21:50:16 +0000

Ever notice how sometimes life imitates Seinfeld? Just like George belatedly came up with a witty retort to a co-worker's zing, I now have a comeback to all those kids who, in elementary school, told me that their dad could beat up my dad. Not that that actually happened. In fact, I don't think I was ever told that. But now, at least, if someone were to say to me that their dad could beat up my dad, I could say in response, "well, yeah, but my dad knows someone who is good friends with Tito Santana." The Civee and I went out to Jersey this past weekend for a friend's wedding. We stayed one night at my father's house, and he had some gifts for us. One of the things that King Classic gave me is this: The writing reads "To Thomas, From Tito Santana. Arriba!" I don't know what's the best part about this story- that my father knows someone who's friends with Tito Santana, or that Tito wrote Arriba! as part of the autograph. Of course, if this is just something made up like that time when I was seven and my uncle said his cop friend was using KITT for the weekend (my uncle was hiding in the back seat as the car talked to me), I'll be scarred for life. Either way, this is now a prized item in my collection of stuff. Possibly the best thing since I found my LP copy of the Addams Groove.

Double the 24, Double the fun

King Tom — Tue, 23 May 2006 04:20:01 +0000

One of the biggest things I like about the back-to-back-etc. nature of the last two seasons of 24 are the two-hour season finale weeks. Of course, with the idiots in the scheduling department over at ABC putting the last episode of Alias on right up against the 24 season-ender, my two hours of 24 were punctuated with two hours of Alias. I'm just glad I have multiple ways to tape shows. I really don't know where to begin this stream of thoughts. I thought the two ending episodes were real good- solid storytelling, even if one of the developments (the nuclear sub) seemed kind of tacked on at the ending. I just had the feeling (starting two weeks ago with Bierko's head-nod of doom) that they didn't have enough Logan takedown material to last two weeks, so they added the whole sub um, sub-plot. Still, I had a feeling they'd end this season with a cliffhanger, which I didn't want. I'm just glad it wasn't the cliffhanger I thought it would be, and I'm glad Jack, Aaron, Chlöe et al. were able to take care of the Logan situation. Here now my not so deep thoughts about the final hours of season five: -Nice to see Bierko give the inspirational speech that we see from sub captains in just about every submarine movie. Of course, it probably would have had more of an effect if there were more than three guys aboard the sub. -Admiral Sugar Ray Leonard is back! And he still looks pissed at George Costanza. -Why is Robocop asking Jack for a gun? Can't he just pull one out of that inner thigh holster thing he has? -Now what are the odds that a 12-year-old kid (Rooney? Seaman Ed Rooney?) is the only surviving member of the sub crew? And that Jack Bauer would talk him through his first murder. If the whole taking down the president thing doesn't work, Jack has a great career ahead of him as a motivational speaker. -I liked the way that Jack killed Bierko. Jack Bauer has now killed more people by choking them with his legs than anyone in the history of the known universe. -You think that RoboCop would know better than to fire a gun at Jack Bauer without checking to see if it had any ammo. -Nice callback to season one with the Jack-RoboCop standoff. Kind of weird that Seaman Ed Rooney got to watch it. Why do I have this vibe that Jack is going to adopt Rooney and train him in the ways of being a man? -I really liked the no commercials during the first 15 minutes. -Was that a Presidential seal on the door of the car Jack was driving? -How did Aaron know the records were destroyed? -Aaron: "It's the truth, so help me God." Spoken like a man practicing to take the oath of office sometime soon. -At least Mike didn't ask Aaron to hide in the trunk, what with the dead body and all. -Was I the only one wondering who in the blue hell Morris was? And when did Chlöe get married? That must've been an interesting dynamic. -Morris: "I could, but it would be a terrible waste of my charm." Maybe I'm wrong. I'm starting to like this guy already. -Okay, horny Charles Logan is the most repulsive thing ever. -Jack is willing to go as far as it takes. Guess Martha (who returns as the First Lady of Cleavage tonight!) is too. -I feel so bad for Martha. Jean Smart does such a good job of conveying disgust, without letting Logan see it. -Jack confronts Logan in the chopper. I think Logan needs a new pair of pants. -I really thought that Jack was outsmarted by Logan (I don't know what caused me to lose my faith). But I did appreciate the exposition wrap-up of the season. It got a little hard-to-follow there. -Okay, Logan just said something about making love. I think all of America just threw up in its collective mouth. -Wow, Charles quotes the poet. He has some good speechwriters. Makes that had some good speechwriters. -Damn, the Chinese work quickly. But this is probably a slow boat to China. I'm betting it's going to take hmmm...24 hours to get there? I thought it was a real solid season. Going to be interesting seeing where they go with next year- even thought they got rid of a few characters I liked, I think they have a good base for people coming back next year. I'll actually be a bit sad to see Logan no longer in charge, but Leland Palmer should be a capable president. And there's always hope that Miles will still get the smackdown that's coming to him. And I'd have to say that even though they are really into pictures of my foot, the people of China are no match for Jack Bauer. By the way, had quite a few people googling for Jean Smart's cleavage today. There's a nice little readership segment that I probably won't have anymore.

That’s a wrap.

King Tom — Tue, 23 May 2006 04:31:17 +0000

After five years, one of my favorite TV shows is over. It's probably a good thing, because I've put way too much energy into watching Alias since the Civee first introduced me to it in the middle of the first season. With only a few exceptions, every commercial break since that first episode I watched, she and I would call each other, talking about the latest developments in the show. It's something I'm going to miss. But we're getting married and we'll actually be in the same city, so that's a tradeoff that I'd gladly make. Back to Alias. The show was frustratingly awesome. There were dropped plot points, retconning galore and questions never answered. But the show could tell a story, develop characters and create a world where you wondered (in a good way) what the hell was that? I am a bit disappointed that they killed off one of my favorite TV characters ever, Jack Bristow. But at least he followed through on his promise to bury Arvin Sloane. There were other little things that got to me- inconsistencies that I tried not letting bug me too much, the writers never explaining what all these Rambaldi artifacts did, but the show really did come full circle. I'm sure I'll have more to write some other time, but after having this and the 24 season finale in the same night (thank you, ABC scheduling idiots!), I'll have to save it. Thank you Alias cast, crew and creators. It's been a fun five years.

Now that’s how you do a season finale

King Tom — Thu, 25 May 2006 10:42:31 +0000

Damn you TV shows and your summer hiatuses [shakes fist in the direction of Hawaii] So I caught the season finale of Lost last night and damn am I impressed. I didn't watch the first season live. I caught it all on dvd a few weeks before this season began. Back in the first season, it was pretty apparent (at least to me) that they were going to end the season with the hatch. But this season was different. Had no idea of how they were going to end it. And now that the season's over, some questions are answered, but I'm left even more puzzled than before. Which, is a good thing. I have some theories (they're on an island of Homer Simpson worshippers) and questions (so is the magnet permanently shut off?), and while I'd like answers, I feel fine waiting. The show was that good.

Three Weekend Thoughts

King Tom — Tue, 30 May 2006 10:34:34 +0000

Had a nice long weekend that wasn't long enough. The following thoughts occurred to me (I had more thoughts than these, but these are the only ones I care to share for now): -Went to a pool. For the first time in my life, I stayed in the pool during adult swim. It wasn't the moment of triumph that I thought it would be when I was younger. Still, it was pretty fun to stay in the pool while all the little kids had to get out. Saw two movies. I'll write more on one of them (X3, or whatever they're calling it) later. But I do have two questions about trailers I saw: -This is the second time I've seen the trailer for Snakes on a Plane. Both times the audience laughed hysterically. Is this movie supposed to be intentionally funny? -Also saw the trailer for Nacho Libre. I do plan on seeing this one. But doesn't the title translate into "Free Chips"? Are they giving out free chips at every screening? If so, this could be the greatest marketing campaign ever.

A denial

King Tom — Wed, 31 May 2006 21:34:28 +0000

I am not, nor have I ever been a member of the Secret Wars Re-Enactment Society. Although, I may have been if such a thing existed back when I was in high school.

I’ve got a fever. And the prescription is more Colossus.

King Tom — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 10:55:46 +0000

While I'm no Brodie Bruce, I was pretty big into comic books at one point in my life. Beginning in the mid-eighties and lasting through the end of high school, I spent way too much money on comic books, most of which I still have. My favorite book, which I have a still near-encyclopedic memory of, is the X-Men. So, I'm extremely familiar with all of the X-Men characters and storylines from the beginning until about 1995 or so. I've enjoyed the X-Men movie franchise. With X3 being titled "The Last Stand" and a lot of scuttlebutt about how this is the end of the franchise, I walked into the theater expecting to be disappointed. I was actually surprised by my reaction to the movie. There are two ways of looking at the movie: what it was and what it could have been. For what it was, X3 is an entertaining movie. It's a good action movie, that picks up right where X2 left off. And for the story that it's telling (confined to the movie universe and not related to the comic series), it tells it well. The action sequences that are there are real good. I liked the story about the "cure" more than I thought I would, and I thought the end scene (not the after-credits end scene, because I didn't see it) was great. However, the pacing is a bit off. After a fun little danger room sequence, the plot slows, moving from exposition scene to exposition scene to exposition scene. It also felt like the movie tried to shoehorn in new mutants, with no real purpose. You're watching the movie, and then it slows down to introduce a new mutant, who has to show everyone their powers, not really having that much to do with the storyline at all. My biggest problem with the movie, though, was not enough Colossus. That didn't really surprise me, because he's never gotten the respect he deserves. Geez, it sounds like I didn't like the movie at all! But the movie I saw, I liked. As for the movie that wasn't, well, that disappointed me. Fox could have a very lucrative franchise with the X-Men and it's looking like they're choosing not to take this route. There are plenty of good stories, (in particular, the Dark Phoenix saga) that they could have used. This movie shoehorned about 50 issues of a comic book series into two hours. And while I liked the story they told with it, they could have done so much more, not just with the story, but also with the franchise. But then again, this is the world of movies. People expect Snakes on a Plane to make money. What do I know? Brian over at the Morning Toast also has a look at X3.

King Tom, Herder of Cats

King Tom — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 22:04:09 +0000

I've heard the phrase herdin' cats many times in my life. I always thought it was a ridiculous phrase, until today, when I actually herded a cat. Well, I still think it's ridiculous phrase, but the act of herding a cat isn't that difficult. I have a neighbor (not the weird one) who has a cat. The neighbor lets the cat roam the hallways of our apartment building when he (the neighbor, that is) is away at work. People don't mind, because Ripken (the cat, although if it were mine, I would have named it Jeter, Alvaro or even Meacham) is a nice cat and doesn't leave any deposits in the hallway. Anyway, this morning, I was leaving for work, when I remembered just as I was opening the door, to take the trash out. So I walked back to my kitchen, took the bag out of the trashcan, tied it up and walked back out, when I heard a meow coming from my bedroom. With a full trashbag in hand, and my work satchel in the other, I followed the meows, to find Ripken under my bed. I kind of comically chased him out, trying to block his way as we went, so that he wouldn't explore my apartment further. Even with my hands full, I managed to get him out, and I have to admit, it was quite fun. But herding the cat wasn't difficult. From all the times I had heard the phrase, I thought it would be some insurmountable task. But if I can do it, so can you. So the next time someone uses the phrase "herdin cats," just think that obviously, they should color themselves shamed--and if I had a metaphor tree out back, I could go on all day. You get the idea.

Color Me Disappointed

King Tom — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:51:19 +0000

So I'm driving from Bowling Green to Dayton down I-75 and outside of Wapakoneta, I see one of those temporary road signs that says: Cutting Crew Next Five Miles I started scanning both the AM and FM frequencies, but didn't hear one note of (I Just) Died In Your Arms. Who do I write to at ODOT to complain about this?

He’s really not that busy

King Tom — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 10:44:10 +0000

Somehow, in between graduating, watching the World Cup and getting married last week, Rivers Cuomo managed to find the time to answer a bunch of questions from fans. I'm actually surprised that out of the four questions I submitted, he answered two directly and the other two by proxy. Go me. And congratulations Rivers.

The future is here, now.

King Tom — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 02:51:40 +0000

While driving in downtown Columbus this afternoon, I saw a man riding one of those Segway scooters. It was not this man:

Curbside Advertising

King Tom — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 01:30:24 +0000

I live between two quasi-major roads, each with their fair share of shopping plazas. Occasionally, establishments at various plazas will dress up some yahoo in an outfit and have them standing by the curb, jumping up and down and waving at cars in an effort to drum up business. I've seen this in all seasons, in the freezing cold and the sweltering heat. In the past I've seen: -A tax preparation service dress up people like the Statue of Liberty or Uncle Sam -A Halloween Costume place dress up kids like the Incredibles -A restaurant dress up people like giant hamburgers and hot dogs And today, I saw two scantily clad young ladies bouncing up and down to publicize a gym while walking to pick up my car (nevermind the fact that when walking by, I heard a car slam on its breaks while passing by and almost causing an accident). Of those four, the last is the only one that I think would get people's interest--and that's only half of the gym's potential audience. But other than that, does this type of exercise really have any appeal? Does seeing Lady Liberty holding her torch high in freezing weather make you think "gee, I gotta get my taxes done right this minute!"? Does seeing a guy dressed up like a giant hamburger make you hungry? Does seeing two women jumping up and down make you want to pump iron? I just think it makes these poor saps look like shmucks and makes me angry at those people who slow down to look, wave or honk.

What the kids call a “Birthday Shout-Out”

King Tom — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 11:53:38 +0000

The Kingdom would like to wish a happy birthday to the United States of America. I hope everyone out there has a great Fourth of July. I'm just happy to have electricity again. Also, Happy Birthday to George Steinbrenner. Another candle in the big calzone for the Boss.

How do you stop a beep?

King Tom — Sat, 08 Jul 2006 17:11:32 +0000

My life is becoming a Seinfeld episode. Starting Thursday afternoon, I started noticing this beep coming from the apartment next to mine. Every ten seconds, I'd hear this loud, sharp beep from next door. It's loud enough you can hear it in the hall way and throughout my apartment. And it's just one quick beep every ten seconds. Well, I haven't seen my neighbors all week. And the beep has continued day and night, annoying the hell out of me. Unlike Elaine and the alarm clock, I don't think there are any shared outlets between the two apartments. And I don't have a crazy Kramer-style neighbor I can convince to stick a paperclip in a socket, even if there was one. Say this started Thursday afternoon around 5. Since then, it's beeped more than 16,000 times. So I'm left being driven crazy by this beep-wondering two things: -What kind of device beeps every ten seconds for days on end? -What type of sadistic mind would invent a device that beeps every ten seconds for days on end? If any one knows, please tell me.

The beep goes on

King Tom — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 16:02:32 +0000

The saga of the beep is getting worse. The whatever device in my neighbor's apartment kept up it's every ten second beeping pattern until about 5:30 this morning. At 5:30, the device started one long, much louder, uninterrupted beep that has continued until at least noon. The only thing I can think of it being is their smoke detector is running low on batteries. But eventually, they'd have to run out- wouldn't they? It's like Chinese water torture, but with sound. If I go crazy, you won't have to wonder why. It's because of this beep.

Peace and quiet

King Tom — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 21:00:07 +0000

Just got home. Something different was in the air: silence. The beep is gone. And I am happy at the prospect of a decent night's sleep tonight. Had the beep continued, I was considering giving my next blog entry the titualr line of "I Can't Fight This Beeping Anymore" after the horrible, horrible song with a similar titular line.

Try to battle my boys? That’s not legal!

King Tom — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 10:45:14 +0000

It's been almost two months since the end of season five of 24. This week, I believe marks the first time we've gotten any information about next season. And I'm not going to run down any casting rumor or plot rumor, but this one's interesting. Some news Web sites are reporting that Peter MacNicol has signed on for next season. I didn't recognize the name at first, until I checked him out on imdb. The role I was most familiar with of his was as the mentally disturbed art restorer in Ghostbusters II. I think as long as he doesn't worship a painting of Ira Gaines, speak with some weird Eastern European accent or get slimed, he'll do fine.

How Rivers feels today

King Tom — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 01:23:49 +0000

Weezer fans are nervous after a recent mtv report hinting that the days of the weez may be over. In the article, recently-married Rivers Cuomo says "Really, for the moment, we are done. I'm not certain we'll make a record again, unless it becomes really obvious to me that we need to do one." While there is a hint of finality in that quote, it's really nothing different from what he's said in the past. In interviews from last fall and earlier this year, Rivers said he's looking forward to taking some time off to enjoy married life. Not to mention, to take a lot of time meditating. This is no different from what he said months ago--he's just choosing not to comment on the future. Of course I don't want to see the band call it quits. If this is the end, I think I'm fine with it. They've given a lot of great music (even though there's more out there still unheard). But I really don't think this is the end. In the past, after other albums, the future of the band was always uncertain (except following the green album, when Rivers was in world domination mode), but they've always found their way back together. In the past two years, the band has been more creative and more unified than ever. And Make Believe has given the band its two highest-charting hits ever. I just don't think this is it. By the way, I love how everyone jumps on these stories, not caring at all about accuracy. I mean, "his move to Japan"? Do some freakin research sometime!

No Can Do

King Tom — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 21:02:24 +0000

So I was in Chipolte for lunch today and I hear a Tejano version of Hall and Oates' "I Can't Go For That." I guess bad music knows no cultural boundaries.

The Drummer Speaks

King Tom — Mon, 24 Jul 2006 02:23:38 +0000

Ever since that infamous MTV interview first appeared two weeks ago, I've had a number of people I know (and some I don't) tell me they're sorry that weezer's breaking up. The condolences are nice, but unnecessary. =w= drummer (and the only member of the band I haven't met)Pat Wilson posted an interesting response on his blog:

What is up with all the crazy bad journalism drawn from Rivers interview? I can assure you that =w= is fully intact. I know this because I am in Weezer. The glaring proof that today's media is shallow reveals itself in this simple fact: not one person called me to ask my opinion. Which is cool cuz I would have made up some fantastic lie about becoming an Antarctic explorer.

Of course, if he had told some MTV "journalist" that, he'd be on the next airplane to the South Pole.

The final word, for now.

King Tom — Wed, 26 Jul 2006 01:35:32 +0000

Well, it looks like the music media was wrong and weezer isn't breaking up. From Rivers' blog:

"I certainly don't see them becoming Weezer songs." This is a misquote. The writer unfortunately didn't record my words exactly but rather paraphrased them according to his understanding--and sometimes misunderstanding. In this particular case, what I meant was that the soccer song, "Our Time will Come", certainly won't be on a Weezer album. The verses are about particular players and situations in US Soccer history and wouldn't be appropriate for that purpose. I imagine it would be recorded by Weezer and given directly to the soccer federation. The rest of the songs, though, are definite contenders for a Weezer record.

People can stop telling me they're sorry.

Power to the people!

King Tom — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 21:30:11 +0000

This afternoon, there was a gaggle of ~~nutjobs~~ ~~conspiracy theorists~~ misinformed people protesting outside my place of work. I wanted to go outside, shake my fists and chant a few rounds of "Kill Whitey," but I didn't--it was like 100+ degrees F outside!

Waiting and waiting

King Tom — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 10:58:14 +0000

For someone who's been called an "obnixous Yankees fan," I really don't write much about baseball. Well, I don't know how much this post will be about actual baseball, but I can try. One thing that really bugs me is off days. Nevermind the whole bunch of off-days between October and February. But this year, it feels like the Yankees have been hit with off days at the most inopportune times. First, there was the Thursday after the All Star game. Four days without a Yankees game. And the second one that comes to mind is obviously yesterday. The day of the trading deadline, right after the Yankees made a great trade, I have to wait to see the team in action. It just doesn't feel right. I suppose I could have turned on the TV last night and watch some other team (which I did for a while), but it isn't the same. I ~~pay to let MLB kick my ass~~ subscribe to the extra innings package on cable, and forgive me for being a Yankees snob, but all of the Fox regional sports broadcasts are unwatchable. You have the endless promos, the random local celebrities in the broadcast booth for an inning or two, and the in-the-stands reporter talking about anything but the game. I don't know if it's me, but it feels like YES doesn't do that--or as much as the Fox clones do. Either way, I think it's easier to watch your favorite team from the home team broadcasters, rather than the opposing team, or even a national broadcaster (and don't get me started on Jon Miller and his over-enunciation of ethnic names). So tonight, I'm just going to kick back, turn on the extra innings, and hope that they're showing the YES feed. Otherwise, it could be a long night.

You’re the man, Mayor Giuliani!

King Tom — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 00:45:46 +0000

Today's New York Post has a tidbit about the greatest mayor ever, Rudy Giuliani:

"The only tattoo I would ever consider getting would be a Yankee tattoo," he tells next month's Glamour.

I'd never get a tattoo. But it's nice to see that with the election two years away, the Mayor is fighting for the King Tom vote. By the way, Glamour Magazine? I hope George Costanza's mother doesn't leave the issue lying around the house.

Abundance of stupidity

King Tom — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 02:34:22 +0000

How to win friends and influence people, RIAA style: Step 1: Sue a bunch of random people on vague claims of copyright infringement. Step 2: In the event that a defendant dies, file a motion for a 60-day extension in the case to give his or her family time to grieve. Step 3: Out of a self-proclaimed "abundance of sensitivity," drop the case. Sometimes it feels like the recording industry is a goldmine for bad karma. As if past actions such as: -suing customers -abusing their copyright rights -denying artists their creative rights -keeping artists tied to unconsciable contracts -and promoting crappy music nonstop at the expense of good music weren't enough, they go and do something like this. I suppose out of my own personal "abundance of sensitivity," I should congratulate them for dropping the case, but I'm not a sensitive person.

Old Timey, Big Timey

King Tom — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 21:49:12 +0000

Congratulations to fellow Jamootzer 'Dangerous' DJL for being mentioned in a story on espn.com on simulated baseball leagues. I also belong to the Ohio Old Time Strat-o-matic League (as the Yankees, naturally), and it's nice to see our little old timey league make the big time. It's also nice to see something that djl worked so hard on get some recognition. The league is fun and things like this make absorbing all the jokes from the peanut gallery of my life worth it.

Whoo!

King Tom — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 21:43:40 +0000

So yesterday was the second annual Summer Slam fiesta at Iron Mike's CribZone^TM. It was a good show, with some conusing booking. Two moments still put a smile on my face a day later: -Ric Flair shouting out a loud "WHACK!" while punching Mick Foley. -Vince and Shane McMahon nailing Shawn Michaels with (in succession) the Demolition Decapitation, Hart Attack and whatever the Legion of Doom's finisher was called. Those two events made that pay-per-view.

Planetary Re-Alignment

King Tom — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 23:39:21 +0000

So a bunch of scientists get together and destroy a planet. Well, not really. That would require one of the Death Stars. But Pluto is no longer classified as a planet. I'm looking forward to the day when I can tell my kids "Back when I was your age, there were nine planets in our solar system!" It will be the "walked nine miles in the snow uphill" of our generation. This story reminds me of something I came across a while back, the Top 10 scientifically feasible ways to destroy the earth. An article like that sounds like it should have scary music in the background, but no, there's only scientific theories. And no Death Star.

Jack Bauer thanks NO academy

King Tom — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 23:14:15 +0000

Last night, for the first time in a long time, I watched an Awards Show. There was nothing else on, other than the Emmys on NBC and watching it seemed like a couple-y thing to do. Having Conan host it made it bearable. But what made it worth it was The Office winning Best Comedy, 24 winning Best Drama and ~~Jack Bauer~~ Kiefer Sutherland winning Best Actor honors. Usually, I don't care about these things, but it's nice to see the shows I watch get recognized. I don't see Jack trading in his magical cell phone for an Emmy trophy, but I do think sometime during the next season, they should work in a scene where Jack beats up some evil-doer with a trophy of some kind. I should note that all this attention drawn to 24 has been good for Web traffic to the kingdom. In the past day, I've gotten a buttload of hits from google for people searching for Jean Smart +cleavage. To quote the janitor who walked in on Frank Drebin while he was changing in the umpire's locker room, "sorry, fellas." All these hits make me wonder about the hits I'd get should I write about other female celebrities. Could you imagine the numbers I'd get if I wrote about Annie Potts' ankles? Or Sally Field's earlobes? Or Lisa Loeb's inner elbows? It boggles the mind.

All you people up there in City Hall

King Tom — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 03:10:59 +0000

A new red light camera went up on a major street near where I live. The city has been putting in a lot of these cameras lately. Usually, I wouldn't think anything of it, especially since I'm moving in less than a month. However, the camera is pointed right at the spot where a fitness club holds some intereting promotions periodically. I hope that's not an abuse of power or anything.

You take you and your 75 cent shirt to the movies

King Tom — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 21:11:16 +0000

The last month has seen two of my favorite wrestlers say goodbye to the business. A few weeks ago, the WWF/WWE released Kurt Angle. Now, The Rock is saying he'll never wrestle again. From insidepulse:

Is The Rock done with wrestling? According to reports at WrestlingObserver and PWInsider from Dwayne Johnson's appearance on ESPN2's "Cold Pizza" this morning, the answer is yes. On the show, he said that he had no plans to return to wrestling even though he misses performing in front of the live crowds, since he has accomplished all he could in the sport that he loved and grew up in. The Rock went on to say that he wanted new challenges, and realized four years ago it was time to move on.

Even in limited doses, like his last appearance, at WrestleMania XX, where he had a few weeks exposure prior to the event, the Rock is gold. He had a great interview before the match, and an amazing match (for a 2-on-3 tag match). And Angle could wrestle a baseball bat and put on a great show. Between the two of them, Chris Jericho retiring, and Chris Benoit jobbing to Bradshaw, I don't have much to look forward to. Good thing I don't watch every week like I used to.

My new hero

King Tom — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 21:19:02 +0000

A few weeks ago, the Civee and I watched Chinatown. We weren't impressed. My faith in Jack Nicholson, however, is restored after reading this (from contact music):

Lifelong New York Yankees fan Jack Nicholson refused to wear a baseball cap sporting the badge of his team's rivals for his role as a Boston, Massachusetts, gangster...Director Martin Scorsese suggested the movie legend wear a Boston Red Sox cap for one pivotal scene, but backed down when New Yorker Nicholson insisted he wouldn't wear the head gear out of loyalty to the Yankees.

Works for me. Red Sox fans have already proven to me that they can't handle the truth.

I should be keel-hauled for this one

King Tom — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 02:10:54 +0000

I forgot today was Talk Like a Pirate Day until I saw a co-worker with a Pirate Pez dispenser. But I made up for it by saying "Ahoy!" to enough people to make them think there was something wrong with me. Too bad they couldn't have made the day September 23rd instead of the 19th.

Three days…

King Tom — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 03:55:22 +0000

...until the Yankees play the Devil Rays in Tampa. Well, actually, something else is happening on Saturday. I'm getting married. Strangely, I don't feel nervous, just a strange mixture of calm and excitement. Because of the goings-on, I won't be around Internet land for a while. And it'll take a week or two to get cable and Internet at the new place, so this may be the last Kingdom update for a while. Even though I won't be around, the core principles of the kingdom will stand. Those principles being: -Weezer rocks (and is not broken up). -The Yankees Rule (And Jack Nicholson can wear whatever cap he wants) -You don't mess with Jack Bauer (and to those of you looking for the First Lady of Cleavage, thanks for visiting!) -Flight 815 crashed onto an island of Homer Simpson worshippers (Pneumatic Tubes are the only thing that make sense on mystery island) I thought I had more to say than that, but I don't. So, I'll see you all soon. And I'll leave you with the immortal words of Dr. Frasier Crane, which spell out my views on this weekend:

You know, on the way over, I decided to listen to a rock station to get into the mood. And I heard a line in one of those tribal passages that I thought was the keynote for this evening. "Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight."

After three months

King Tom — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 02:25:07 +0000

For a few reasons, I don't expect this entry on the Lost season premiere to be that long. First of all, I'm a bit out of blogging practice (see next entry). Secondly, while I enjoyed tonight's episode, other than the first few minutes, I have no clue what happened. We know Sawyer, Jack and Kate are all right. Well, actually, we know they're not dead. We know that Jack's cheating wife wasn't getting it on with his father. Jack's father may still be dead. Or alive. We know that Sawyer isn't smarter than the average bear. We can deduce that Henry Gale (Ben?) and Juliet (the woman manipulating Jack) were an item at one time. And it appears that Kate has the sickness, Jack doesn't, and as for Sawyer, who knows? Other than that, I know nothing. They really didn't answer any of the 'big questions,' but I'm a sucker, because this episode had me hooked.

Guess Who’s Back

King Tom — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 02:32:40 +0000

So I have the Internet again and power has been restored to the Kingdom. It's been an entertaining past two weeks. Got married and moved. The wedding was great. Everyone had a great time. The move is over. I'm slowly getting used to a brand new version of everyday life which I like better than the previous everyday. And the new place is fun. Although, today, there was some extreme severe weather in central Ohio. I'm talking about huge hailstones, thunder and lightning and possible tornadoes. As the tornado sirens were going off, the Civee and I tuned into one of the local news stations to get the scoop. The meteorologist was going over the warning, and listed only one street in all of Columbus in the tornadoes' path: West Sixth Avenue. I now live on West Sixth Avenue. Like I said, it's been an entertaining two weeks.

Make change, but not too much change

King Tom — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 13:47:39 +0000

Like every other Yankees fan out there, I'm very disappointed by the way they played the last three games of their season. I'm also disappointed that for me, the winter begins now and we're left waiting on the front office to make its news. Until it makes that news, there's nothing to do but talk about what should be done. Even though the Kingdom isn't a sports bar and I don't have an advanced degree in sabermetrics, I still have some ideas about what should be done. And since this is the king's blog, the king gets to write them. There's talk that the Boss wants to fire Joe Torre. That's his call to make, but I'm not sure that should be done. Sure, Torre made some dumb moves (trusting the Sheff at first in three games, having Rodriguez play musical chairs in the lineup), and Joe seems to have gotten complacent, but these Yankees are his team. And I trust Cashman to make the right moves (without too much interference from Tampa) to get this team on track for next year. That being said, the only person I'd want to see replace Torre is Lou Pinella. Changes also need to be made on the field as well. It was great that Gary Sheffield was willing to try out first base in his last few weeks before free agency. I'd let him be a free agent, and play Melky Cabrera in left, with Matsui DH-ing. I would NOT trade Alex Rodriguez. Like everyone else, he didn't produce in the post-season. But you know what he can do, and it would scare me to see that on another team. Mike Mussina has an option year. I'd say bye-bye to the pitcher who resembles the title character from the "Princess and the Pea." And then there's Randy. The only thing I can do is beg him to retire. He's said if he feels like he wouldn't be able to contribute next year, he'd hang 'em up. Please do that Randy. You can't contribute anymore. I'd love for you to prove me wrong, but I know you won't. I'd also let Jared Wright go (I think the team has an option on his contract) and pull a Womack-like disappearing trick with Carl Pavano. Of course, that leaves your rotation with Wang and a few rookies who threw a few games late in the year, so I'd use the freed-up money to sign Barry Zito and/or Japanese phenom Daisuke Matsuzaka. I'd also give the aforementioned rookies (I originally typed that as "aforementioned wookies") a shot to hold down the fort until prospects Philip Hughes and Tyler Clippard are ready to play in the big leagues. I don't know who else is out there, free agent-wise, but I don't think that's where the Yankees need to concentrate. I think they need to continue on their track of getting younger in the spots that are open. And as for those players who you can't get from within, acquire them wisely. So how many days until pitchers and catchers?

At least he didn’t try on Lou Gehrig’s pants

King Tom — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 21:04:00 +0000

Note from the King: This post was conceptualized before the Yankees announced Joe Torre wouldn't be fired. So I was talking with a Red Sox fan today about the possibility of the Yankees firing Joe Torre. He mentioned that Torre might be a good choice should Boston can their manager. That thought, combined with some of Torre's moves in the ALDS made me think, maybe, like another certain Yankees employee, that Torre was trying to get fired. Still, like I said yesterday, my preference is that the Yankees keep Torre- for one more year. I'm glad they're keeping him (if nothing else, it shuts up Mike Lupica), meaning the team will have some stability while they make other changes.

Thanks for the reminder, Benry!

King Tom — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 02:17:25 +0000

Just like last week, severe weather hit Columbus the same night as Lost. But unlike last week, we didn't have color-coded weather maps clogging up the screen. It's nice to have new episodes of Lost. I liked last week's episode, but aside from the flashbacks, I liked this week's episode better. I'm not sure what I learned, but I know I learned something. The biggest lesson in this episode is that Sun's a lying tramp. That's not really new, as it was hinted at in past seasons, but it was hammered home tonight. I'm glad the flashbacks moved away from her and toward Jin. Right now, Sun is the least interesting character to me, and I wasn't really looking forward to an episode featuring her. Still, the episode went in the opposite direction, while not even approaching the main camp of survivors. Some random thoughts: -Benry's little video room looked like the Pearl. I'm sure the resemblance is intentional. -So the Others have dropped the redneck routine. I don't know, I kind of liked them as barefoot hillbillies. We never figured out the whole thing with the whispers and not leaving tracks and carrying around teddy bears bound by ropes, but there's still time. -What's with the canopy covering the walking areas of the Hydra? -I did NOT see Sun and the Korean Kojak getting it on. I could have sworn last season that Kojak played for the other team. -Looks like Sayid is out of greiving the blonde's death mode and into warrior mode. Good move for the character. -Until he showed his soft side, Sawyer kicked some Other ass during the attempted chaingang jailbreak. -I think Jin should let the hotel valets park his car next time. -I don't speak Korean, but I'm pretty sure that after Sun jumped in the water, Jin was shouting "Marco!" and she was shouting "Polo." -The Benry/Jack scene was great. I'm going to have to watch that again. But I don't appreciate the reminder of what happened during the 2004 ALCS and World Series. -Did the Others call Bud Selig to get express written consent of Major League Baseball to show that clip to Jack?

Bonus Pockets

King Tom — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 00:59:30 +0000

Because it's getting colder, I've started wearing my winter coat. The last time I wore it was probably in March or April. The coat has a buttload of pockets-I'm constantly finding new pockets and losing things in them (in fact, I almost lost an engagement ring at a critical moment thanks to the abundance of pockets). So as I was wearing my coat, I started going through the pockets and was amazed by what I found: -A brochure from St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York (from a trip in November '04) -A lunch receipt from February 2005 -A UPS shipping receipt from January 2006 -A ticket to an OmniMax movie (Forces of Nature) -A ticket to a chick flick the Civee wanted to see (I'd rather not say the title) -Three cough drops -An instruction book for a Swiss Army Knife -A valet parking receipt (never redeemed) from when I drove myself to the hospital barefoot after breaking my ankle And best of all: -A weezer bumper sticker Bonus!

The Power of Fudge

King Tom — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 21:59:12 +0000

When I dream, I come up with great marketing gimmicks. The other night, I was dreaming that I was watching the Food Network and Huey Lewis was hosting a cooking show. The name of that show: Huey Lewis and the Food

The Man Comes Around

King Tom — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 02:37:22 +0000

Hard to believe, but the first half of this season of Lost is almost over. When I heard this was going to be a Locke flashback episode, I thought we were going to find out how he ended up in a wheelchair. No dice. But this story was pretty cool- and it establishes that he is friends with multiple rock stars--first Charlie, and now we learned that he befriended Billie Joe Armstrong while living on a drug harvesting commune. It was also nice to see the one with nature, hunter Locke back. Even if the flashback proves this wasn't who he was in his previous life, as someone said during the first season, everyone gets a fresh start on the island. I also noticed another positive trend this season: people telling other people what is going on. You have Hurley telling Locke and Charlie about the trip to the other end of the island. You have naked Desmond telling Hurley about the hatch implosion. This information sharing may help them survive after all. other random thoughts: -Seeing Jerry Springer in a bullfighter outfit almost ruined my night. -If I was Locke after just waking up, I wouldn't want to shout out to a naked Desmond either. -The Polar Bears are back! (At least it's not an island Polar Bear Club). That was one huge freaking cave by the way. Too bad that's where the Pearl station workers ended up. -You think the hippies would have run a background check on Officer Billie Joe Armstrong a little sooner than six weeks. -Eko had some awesome acting this episode. Of course, his whole ordeal reminded me of Luke Skywalker in the Wampa's cave. -After seeing the action back at the camp, I'm not sure I'm that keen on returning to Other-ville so quickly.

One night, two beatdowns for Sawyer

King Tom — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 02:45:39 +0000

Tonight, Lost viewers saw something special: the first Sawyer flashback that didn't make him look like a complete jackass. Right now, it feels like this season is moving along very slowly. I can't say that they've given any answers- all you see is Jack, Kate and Sawyer being held captive and occasionally beaten, without even seeing an explanation from the Others' point of view. But the thing is, I like these episodes, even if the overall flow is a bit stagnant. I feel bad for Sawyer, expecially after getting the crap kicked out of him by Benry, and then again by Pickett. But at least he won the fight in the flashback. Two interesting things I think I heard in random chatter: -The others have a "sub"--I'm hoping that's the underater conveyance, not the style of sandwich. -Stuff stopped working when the "sky turned purple." Other thoughts: -Desmond is back in camp with the losties. Now that I think about it, this is his first exposure to a large group of people in a few years. At least he put some clothes on. -And Desmond is still psychic. Why can't he just sit back, focus, and just find out when they'll get off the island? -Jack gets to watch Woody Woodpecker cartoons in broadcast-quality Beta. You think he wouldn't have much to complain about. But it's kind of funny watching him play the role of Henry Gale. Seems like the mind games are working on Juliet. -Every time I've seen the warden in something, he's always played the crooked cop role. -Shouldn't Jack have put on some OR scrubs on before operating on the soon-to-be dead girl? Of course, that reminds me of this exchange from Rushmore:

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy. Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs. Max Fischer: Oh, are they?

Come to think of it, Jack does look kinda like Luke Wilson. -I really don't think Pickett (or any of the Others) get to complain about the woman dying. I mean, if they hadn't tried kidnapping, babynapping, and murdering the losties, then maybe there would be some more understanding on the island. -So the reason the Others captured Jack so was that he'd operate on Benry's spinal tumor. That makes sense. But Benry likes to terrorize bunnies. No surgery for you! -So there are two islands. One big island, which I'm guessing, in addition to the plane crash, also is home to the Others. The little island has the Hyrda station, dig site and maybe the mysterious barracks. -Looks like next week we finally get to find out who lost their glass eye in the Arrow.

Jack’s Back!

King Tom — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 02:50:01 +0000

There are roughly three months left until the season premiere of 24. For those of you who can't wait, I give you: The 24 Season Six Trailer Actually, it's brought to you by FOX. I'm just linking to it.

Revenge of the Big Umbrella Posse

King Tom — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 02:49:23 +0000

I used to be one of those little umbrella people. Whenever it would rain, I'd have a compact umbrella handy for the four-plus block walk from the parking lot through other parking lots to the building I work in. My last umbrella was the Ultimate Umbrella from Eddie Bauer, which proved to be anything but ultimate. A not-so-strong gust of wind bent the umbrella's stem at a 90-degree angle my first day of using it. Last month ago, in the wake of the wedding, I got a bonus wedding present from my father: a big umbrella (okay, he left it in the back of my car). I have to say, it's amazing walking around with this thing. It's like I have my own eco-system. And unlike Eddie Bauer's ultimate umbrella, this thing won't break because of a little whisper of wind. But if it was Jack Bauer's ultimate umbrella, it would not just repel rain, but it would also blow up random bad guys at will.

And then there was Bernard

King Tom — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 03:56:47 +0000

So I didn't see that coming. Eko's dead. I'm somewhat bummed, but still hooked on Lost. I thought the last however-many minutes of tonight's episode were great- including the discovery of Eyepatch in some other hatch, Juliet's little Waynes' World trick with Jack, and yes, the smoke monster laying the smackdown on Eko. Last season, Eko was one of my favorite characters- and I think he still had room to grow. Disposing of him shifts more focus to Locke, and, I think makes Locke a stronger character. But I still have questions about Eko: What was his purpose on the island? To bring Locke to the Pearl? And why was he on the plane to begin with? Will no one else (other than Locke) see or encounter the smoke monster ever again? And why did Locke say the monster was bright, but Eko saw it as smoke? And they're next...next for what? I better stop with the questions, lest I become one of those people who obsesses too much about Lost. I did solve one mystery, though. The Others, they're the Movementarians. That would fit right in with Benry being the Leader. Other random episode thoughts: -Benry: "I was thinking you might join me for a walk." You know, I can see Benry's personal ad:

Recently divorced SWM, enjoys torturing bunnies seeks non-Latina SF for literary discourse and long walks on the beach. Not looking for LTR.

Hey, the Others could have a weekly paper. I bet Ms. Klugh's the personals editor. -Nice to see Eko's recovered from the polar bear mauling. -And I know I mentioned it earlier this season, but it's nice to see island people actually communicating. And after seeing Locke's little remark about how he wasn't Jack and was into bringing people along on his little treks, I think the losties are learning to act more like a community. -Didn't see any evidence of Desmond's psychic skills tonight. -I think Eko's cheating on the Jesus stick. -Benry seemed weak this episode. His scenes with Jack were great, but I don't know if I like the kinder, gentler Benry. -Last season: Benry: "God can't see this island." -This season: Benry: "Do you believe in God?" Quite a difference a few days makes. -Leave it to the new guy to find the can in the new hatch. -I liked Eko's smackdown in the church and later non-fession. But the recital of the Psalm right before smokey's attack showed he still believed something. My question (and I know I said I'd stop for the night): So was Yemi (or the monster) the island talking to him? -Bernard's the only tail section survivor left. I don't think he has long to live. Great episode, and I'm sure I have more to say, but in the words of Locke: "I'm gonna have to watch that again."

Life in these United States

King Tom — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 01:19:05 +0000

Election Day is tomorrow. I don't care what you believe or who you support, just get out there and vote (as long as you can do so legally). In the meanwtime, I'll leave you with the three things I've been thinking about about what America will be like after the 2006 election: 1. What will our landscapes, urban, suburban and pastoral, look like without campaign yard signs? 2. Who will give my life meaning now that I no longer get ten calls per day (eight of which are recorded) telling me who to vote for? (Or what to vote against?) 3. What in the world will TV stations air during commercial breaks now that all campaign commercials are irrevelant? Go America!

Thirteen weeks…

King Tom — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 04:15:27 +0000

So I watched the Lost first-half season finale. And before I get to Lost, I want to say I have no interest in this show, "Day Break" that's replacing Lost. I liked it better the first time when it was a comedy called Groundhog Day. So I've been thinking about tonight's episode, "I Do," and I'm... ...disappointed. I expected more action or more story development, and while the Jack stuff was great, and the Locke stuff was interesting, the Kate flashbacks just dragged everything down. Even the caged heat moment with Sawyer was slow. But I'll be back in February, or whenever this glorious show returns. Other thoughts: -Locke and the main island lostaways can communicate and answer questions. Jack, Kate and Sawyer haven't learned these skills yet. -So I guess that Ben 'adopted' Alex. -When Locke admitted to Sayid that they were making a detour before going back to the beach, I expected him to go after Mr. Eyepatch in the Mystery Hatch. Still, it was a nice gesture to get the Jesus Stick. "Look north." Well, I think the Other's dock and stuff is north. -The more this Pickett guy lives, the more hate I feel. How does shooting Sawyer avenge Coleen's death? -And his line about how Jack wasn't on "Jacob's list." Who's Jacob? Please don't tell me he's some 24-style second mole inside the lostaway's camp. Please let Jacob be Ethan's real last name or something.

To my Columbus neighbors

King Tom — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 22:11:12 +0000

Hello. King Tom here. Just to let you know, to the rest of the world, tomorrow is just Saturday. That is all. p.s. Please don't burn my house down should your team lose. Or win.

Daniel Craig IS James Bond

King Tom — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 18:40:22 +0000

I was wrong. A little more than a year ago, I was quite unhappy with the selection of Daniel Craig as James Bond. But after seeing Casino Royale , I happily admit I was wrong. There were a lot of things I liked about Casino Royale--while the last few Bond films have been entertaining, but lacking substance, this movie is entertaining, substantial and gives the franchise the kick in the pants it needs to compete against today's action films while staying true to the original source material. I have to admit, while I was looking forward to seeing the movie, I went in with low expectations, expecting to be merely entertained. I've seen every Bond movie multiple times, as well as read the original Fleming novels (even if it was back in junior high when I didn't understand everything going on). And while the latest Bond movies have been all style and no substance, CR introduces actual mental anguish for Bond and shows the physical effects of him doing his job. Also, it looks like the series now has continuity and an evil "shadowy organization" rather than an insane megalomanic intent on blowing up the world. The action scenes were great, although it seemed like they kept going and going. I think you could have deleted one of the first two chase scenes and not lost much. The movie did seem long, but because they stuck to the original material, I didn't mind. There were some funny parts to the movie, and I thought it re-established the fact that Bond movies could be humorous without having to insult the audience. The movie wasn't as funny as the original Casino Royale, but that's a good thing. Overall, a good return to the Bond franchise's roots, and while I was wrong about the whole Craig as Bond thing, I don't mind too much.

How much longer till Jack is back?

King Tom — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 03:30:45 +0000

So the Civee and I went to Target Saturday for no reason at all. The big surprise wasn't that the store was practically empty. The big surprise was seeing the 24 season DVD sets on sale for $16 each. They only had a few copies of Season 1 left, so naturally I snagged one. I'm amazed at how dark the sets are. And how Jack knows this emotion the rest of us know as "happiness." That won't last long. Speaking of 24, the next day starts in January, and Fox is starting to run promos: Looks like they're not holding their breath with the Jack vs. Lobot confrontation. I hope Jack brought a towel.

Actual Items

King Tom — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 16:12:40 +0000

So I was looking through some catalog for no reason what so ever, and this caught my eye: I give you the Turkey Cannon. If I hadn't seen this in a printed catalog, I would have thought it was one of those Actual Items from Conan's show. Yet it's real. Some company expects people to pay nearly 30 dollars for some wiring and a part of a car's tailpipe (with built-in handles, possibly a safety feature). In return, they get to make their birds explode with flavor. I wonder if the result of a shot from the Turkey Cannon is anything like a Ham Explosion.

It’s not over until George pins Frank

King Tom — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 03:01:57 +0000

It feels like I always remember (or are reminded) of this at the last minute...but I want to wish everyone out there a Happy Festivus. The wonderful think about having a blog is that I don't have to wait until this time of the year to air my grievances- it's something I get to do year-round.

The megapowers collide

King Tom — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 04:31:38 +0000

So the new trailer is out for Transformers The Movie (volume 2). This is something that I was very skeptical about when they first announced it. The news that the actor who voiced Optimus Prime for the cartoon would also be Prime in the movie made me warm to the movie a bit. The trailer is pretty good. It's definitely moody. But the best thing about the trailer is seeing that Glenn Morshower, the guy who plays Secret Service Agent Aaron Pierce on 24 will appear in the movie. First he teamed up with Jack Bauer. Now, he may team up with Optimus Prime. That's a better combination than peanut butter and jelly. Or pie and ice cream.

And so Happy Christmas

King Tom — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 17:20:25 +0000

Before the Civee and I pack up to go to Cincinnati for the second time in two days (but this time we're staying for more than a few hours), I'd just like to wish everyone out there a Merry Christmas. Whether you're a friend of the King, or here looking for pictures of Gob riding a segway, Graeme Lloyd, my foot in a cast, Tito Santana, or Jean Smart's cleavage, I hope you all get what you want. (If you're in the picture group, you're in luck. Except for you Jean Smart people. I can't help you.) As for me, I'm rather content this Christmas. I can't really think of anything I want, and for the most part, I'm just enjoying what I have. Maybe that means I'm growing up. And if that's the case, this blog might be a bit less fun in aught-seven. Just kidding.

A Day That Will Live In Infamy

King Tom — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 03:35:03 +0000

Thirty-four years ago today, my close, personal friend*, George Steinbrenner purchased the New York Yankees from the CBS media empire. Steinbrenner didn't keep his word of sticking "with building ships." Steinbrenner purchased a team that had been neglected by its owners and (with help in the front office and the field) turned the franchise around to make the Yankees a team to be resepected in the late 70s. While his actions and personnel moves in the 80s ranged between questionable and downright wrong, he paid the price on two fronts--the Yankees had their worst seasons ever (and I was at the stadium for many of those games) and he received a life suspension**. The suspension of the early 90s allowed cooler heads to change the pace and priorities for the Yankees. This culminated in the dynasty of the late 90s, and led the path for the success of the Yankees to this day. Yes, they haven't won a Worlds Series in six years, but they've never not been in contention. While some of Steinbrenner's moves and actions may have been done for the "glorification of his massive ego," unlike some other owners, he has always put everything into giving Yankee fans the team they deserve. Over the past year, Steinbrenner has moved into more of a supporting role, letting General Manager Brian Cashman call the shots. Cashman has already erased some of the more questionable moves made recently and equipped the Yankees for the future. Were Steinbrenner still running the Yankees like he did 20 years ago, I would not be writing this kindly about his ownership. And we don't know how much longer his ownership will continue. But there's nobody*** I'd rather see as owner of the Yankees. *I have a signed letter from him, sending me his "Best Regards" ** Lifetime=Three years, give or take a few months ***Other than myself

How to Talk Like Jack

King Tom — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 03:03:34 +0000

The start of the sixth season is less than a week away and the King is getting ready. I wholeheartedly endorse the recognition of January 15 as Talk Like Jack Bauer Day.

Videos for nothing, Clips for free

King Tom — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 02:53:05 +0000

After looking promising, the prospects for the concept of "music television" are bleak again, especially if you live in Columbus. Actually, it's been a few months coming, as my one-time favorite channel VH1 Classic has resorted to playing Flashdance 15 times a week. But the straw that broke the camel's back was the recent decision by the Columbus Fox affiliate to drop The Tube as it's secondary digital channel. Apparently, the move was made because The Tube didn't meet some new FCC requirement where all digital secondary channels had to carry the Emergency Broadcast System and carry three hours of educational hours per week. Now, if I want random music videos on in the background, I have to either watch VH1 Classic the three hours a day they aren't playing a documentary about Metallica or tune into MTV before the crack of dawn. Thanks, FCC!

Jack’s Sixth Day

King Tom — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 06:24:25 +0000

Today begins the sixth longest (in no particular order) day of Jack Bauer's life. Two things were different for me with this season premiere of 24. For all the years I've been watching the show, this is the first time I've seen a season opener live. Also, it's the first time I've seen the show in HD, which, I have to admit is nice. I'm glad FOX is continuing with airing the first two hours one night with the second two the following night. It spoils viewers for the rest of the season, but it also starts things off nicely for those of us who have gone seven months without a new episode of 24. While it was seven months for us, I bet it felt longer for those stuck in a Chinese prison. So here we are, terrorists have been blowing things up for the last few weeks and a grown-up Wayne Palmer is now president. It's different being in the middle of the attacks, but it feels like the administration and CTU know about as much as viewers do about who's behind the attacks and why. It's a nice change of convention for the show. And at the risk of sounding morbid, I'm a bit surprised these smaller-style terrorist attacks haven't already happened here in the United States. Anyways, on to the show: -I think the random Middle Eastern dude ended up being glad he wasn't let on that bus. -The Civee says the president's weasley male advisor (Tom-something or other, played by the bad guy from Ghostbusters II) reminds her in both voice and appearance of Ohio's new U.S. Senator Sherrod Brown. And I think she's right. -Where has Milo been the last five years? Maybe he was just on the CTU nightshift or backup teams that was never called in during the primary phase of terror response. -I am glad Morris is back. But I guess in England it's appropriate to play grabass smack dab in the middle of the office. -Who's idea was it to give the terrorists access to CTU satellite and computer data? -It's great to see Jack back. I understand that he's feeling the effects of whatever the Chinese did to him. I accept the fact that Jack is a changed man. But what is the deal with the buttoned top button? -This marks the fourth season in a row we've had a clueless putzy teen in the season opener (not counting Kim Bauer). -How did the terrorsists know 1)Jack was still alive? 2)In the custody of the Chinese? -I guess Jack learned how to tear out someone's trachea with one's teeth in the Chinese prison (take a bite out of crime, kids!). Jack Bauer killed someone in less than an hour after being back from China. All is right with the world. -My cell phone can't do that whole latitude-longitude thing. But really, how many people (other than sea captains and pilots) give directons by latitude and longitude? -Who leaves their nice new cell phone in a crappy car under a bridge like that? And right out in the open? -Jack is using a purloined cell phone. If I wrote the show, for the next few hours, I'd have random people calling him, looking for Bob, or whoever, at the most inappropriate times. Then, when Jack really really needs to call into CTU, Bob will have realized his cell phone was missing and will have called to have it deactivated. But I have a feeling that won't be happening. -So there's a Palmer sister. No good can come of this. -The first sister's boyfriend/co-worker/boss looked to be about 20 years older than her. -How can you just delete personnel files? Suppose there's a snow emergency and you need to activate the phone tree? All those people will be screwed. -So terror teen is all pissy because putzy teen can't pronounce his name. This kid has neighbors on one side of the street who hate him and neighbors on the other side who defend him. I think his anger is misplaced. -Loved Jack's use of the suicide bomber's necktie. Jack really doesn't appear to me to be out of shape. See you tomorrow. Don't forget, it's Talk like Jack Bauer day. Feel free to add "Drop the coffee!" to the usual list of catchphrases.

How do you follow that up?

King Tom — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 03:25:42 +0000

For those of you keeping score: 24: 2 Sledge Hammer!: 1 I think the creative team behind 24 is definitely using this four-hour premiere to their advantage. Early on in the series, they established having a cliffhanger at the end of each hour as standard procedure. But packing in an emotional cliffhanger (Curtis' death), along with the storyline cliffhanger (a nuclear bomb going off in a somewhat populated area) guarantees at least some return in viewership for those who just happened to be giving this show a try. And for those of us who have been here before, it gets us nicely caught up after having been 24-less for a number of months. Anyways, my thoughts on hours three and four of day six: -Jack Bauer has been out of Chinese custody and back in society for a little more than two hours. He's already giving terrorbuddy lessons on global political science. Me? I'd be asking about what's happened in the world in the last two or whatever years (example:"Pluto's not a planet anymore? Since when??"). -Chlöe is a lot more sentimental than she used to be. Maybe Morris brings out her softer side. Speaking of she who rocks, why isn't Chlöe this Nadia person's boss? -"Don't get up." I'll have to remember that line for the next time I carjack someone. Maybe the Chinese let Jack play some Vice City when they had him in custody. -Can Wayne please have his sister killed? -I think "Priority Three" is this year's "Flank Two." At least now I know what to say when I call up the White House. -The hostage family should have given terror teen the wrong drugs. Should've slipped him some of dad's viagra or something. Or at least given him too many pills. -I noticed a bumper sticker on the back of the car that terrorbuddy was driving. Didn't see it clearly though, but what are the odds it was a "Re-Elect Logan" sticker? -Buchanan is losing his temper. Something must be wrong. -Speaking of losing their temper, Curtis was acting like a baby with a wet diaper since 7:00. I'm glad it didn't take us that long to find out why. But I still think Jack should have put him in the Million-Dollar Dream for old time's sake. -Did the White House just fax that pardon agreement to dumbass teen's father's fax machine in his home office or what? For a two-hour episode, I really didn't have that much in the way of dumb and pointless commentary. Could be because I'm just glad 24 is back. Or maybe because with the exception of the Sandra Palmer stuff, this season is shaping up to be pretty good. Thoughts on episodes 1 and 2 are available here.

Wholesome 24 Reading

King Tom — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 22:40:05 +0000

The first edition of the Season Six Carnival of Bauer is now up.

Lookout Elvis!

King Tom — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 22:41:19 +0000

So while doing some random surfing, I noticed that the US Postal Service is scheduled to introduce postage stamps commemorating Marvel Super Heroes. As a fan, former collector and disgruntled stockholder, I think this is pretty cool--especially using the so-called Golden Age artwork and earliest versions of some of the characters. Although the comics geek in me has two minor issues: -While Wolverine remains one of the most popular X-Men, he wasn't around for X-Men issue 1. -I really didn't know that Spider-Woman and Elektra (mediocre Jennifer Garner movie notwithstanding) were all that popular. Now that I think about it, if they really wanted to get the attention of comics fans, they'd have multiple versions of each stamp, in varying chromium covers, wrapped in plastic selling for five dollars each.

All in the family

King Tom — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 03:22:57 +0000

Usually, after the double-two-hour season openers of 24, they take it slow with hour five. But this year, they gave us some action, some reveals and one classic Bauer beatdown. First off I have to say the mushroom cloud is a pretty damn haunting visual. It's something that happened last episode- it's not a big reveal, but just seeing it there in the background made me think 'DAMN' every time I saw it. I guess I had never thought about how long a mushroom cloud would linger before, but now 24 has got me thinking about that. And it's a worse image than seeing Jack cut Chase's arm off, or shoot a suspect in the knee, or even Sherri Palmer try and get all seductive. The mushroom cloud was haunting, especially just the way it ung there. And for once, I couldn't blame the people who were panicking for their panicked state. The major part of this episode was definitely the reveal of Lobot (head of the headset gang) from last season as Jack's brother. I wonder how long they had this backstory in mind for the character--especially considering he gave the word to kill Jack last season. It would be nice if Jack found out that his brother was behind the events of Day 5, but I don't expect that to happen. That type of thing, they'd drag out a few seasons. Two other thoughts about the Bauer brother: -What's his name? Gray? Graham? Graeme? I caught at least three different pronunciations, so he could be named after either a former Governor of California, a type of cracker that's really a cookie, or a former Yankees reliever who throws a mean right claw. -After watching Jack's beatdown of G.Bauer, I really think one of those two is adopted. No way Jack comes from the same genepool as this guy. And now, time for the usual random thoughts and stupid comments about this episode: -They're really fudging the time this year- the news had video and reporters talking about the bomb just minutes after it went off. I knew some people in news don't like to wait for sources, but that's ridiculous. -If I heard the CTU chatter correctly, the bomb wiped out most or all of CTU's field teams. Jack relly is on his own. -I have a feeling the bunker we got to see is cooler than the bunker that's really under the White House. By the way, who furnished that thing, IKEA? If I were still single, that's what I'd want my living room to look like. -This guy who was on the roof- or knew about the chopper- what was he doing that he didn't notice a nuclear bomb go off a few miles away? -So we've met Jack's brother. And we know we're going to meet his brother. But will we have to wait another season to meet Aunt Carol? -Speaking of the Bauer family, is the English guy's girlfriend supposed to be Kim Bauer in 20 years? -Funniest line of the night goes to Sandra Palmer (to the FBI agent): "Please don't give me speeches." How has she not gotten slapped yet? All she's done in four hours on the show is give speeches. Maybe it's time to play the quiet game, Sandra. -Speaking of the Palmer family, I like Wayne, and I know his address to the nation required a certain mood, but his speech delivery sounded like he was falling asleep. Or telling someone a bedtime story. I don't expect him to be doing a song and dance up in front of the fake Oval Office backdrop, but Wayne, lay off the Nyquil.

This I gotta see

King Tom — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 00:54:08 +0000

Who ever said nothing happens in Delaware? From delawareonline:

If World Wrestling Federation legend King Kong Bundy were a stand-up comedian, what would he joke about?
The time he interfered in a match between former cohort Big John Studd (R.I.P.) and Andre the Giant (again, R.I.P.) in Toronto on Aug. 18, 1985, and broke the Giant's sternum after leveling countless Bundy Splashes on the big man? Or how it itches to wear those huge man leotards with the shoulder straps? Or what it's like to pull on Hulk Hogan's skullette?
Well, Bundy is a comedian now, and fellow funnyman Jeff Collins says the dude is pretty good. Bundy will host the "Heavyweights of Comedy"...

I've heard that in person, Bundy is a legitimately nice guy. I guess you have to have a sense of humor to squash two midgets. Of course, as a kid, I was scared to death of Bundy. I remember my mother taking me to a live closed-circuit showing of WrestleMania 2 and thinking Hogan (BTW, today is the 24th anniversary of Hulkamania) would not make it out of the cage alive. Sadly, Bundy didn't go over the top of the cage, nor did he get a five-count. After that match, his career didn't reach those heights again, and I'm guessing he's now retired. Thinking about it, I would pay to see him do standup. But, "Heavyweights of Comedy?" Come on, who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?

Hu says?

King Tom — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 00:00:13 +0000

So the president of China wants to "purify the Internet." I'm assuming he means cut down on Internet access to outside influences from inside China. I'm against net censorship. But I'm more concerned about how this will affect my Chinese fanbase.

Get well, Bobby

King Tom — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 00:10:32 +0000

A few weeks ago, former Yankee outfielder Bobby Murcer had surgery to remove a brain tumor. Tests revealed the tumor was malignant and Bobby is currently undergoing treatment. I don't remember Bobby as an active player. Instead, I know Bobby from his years as a color commentator for Yankees games on WPIX and later the YES network. I always liked his commentary and while I only know of his playing days through reading about them, he was one of a handful of bright lights during the darkness of the late 60s-early 70s. Earlier this week, Michael Kay had Bobby as a guest on his radio show. I actually sat down and listened to the podcast of the interview. Bobby sounds good, like he always has. Some of the stories are interesting, but it's nice to hear that people really think he's a good guy. I really hope he keeps pulling through with his recovery. The only tough part of the interview is listening to Kay's horrible, horrible theme music.

A question of timing

King Tom — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 03:30:31 +0000

Before I get to my thoughts about this week's 24, a note about timing: It's been said that in comedy, timing is everything. Timing, at least in that way, is good. But there's also such a thing as bad timing. And after watching the first 3.5 seasons of 24 with the Civee (to get her caught up), I'd like to say that 24 (specifically, the scenes at CTU) is a treasure trove of bad timing. Consider the following scene, for example:

[the timer clicks from 8:34:35 to 8:34:42 as we open in CTU, a random CTU employee approaches the CTU director, who is holding two phones up, one to each ear] CTU Employee:Mr/Mrs. Director, I have this hangnail CTU Director: What next?! (all attention goes to a big ass viewscreen on the CTU wall) OH NO! Terrorists just detonated a nuclear device on the Kentucky Nub and have assassinated the Secretary of the Interior! Well, we gotta prioritize...let's tackle that hangnail.

Stuff like that happens all the time. And it isn't just your CTU employees who are the victims or perpretrators. People from walks of life ranging from crackheads to relatives of the President of the United States have not realized that a national emergency trumps their little world. But at least today, Bill Buchanan tried to avoid it. His initial attempts were successful, but he caved after being repeatedly bothered by Nadia and Milo. We here at the Kingdom wish Buchanan the best in instilling in CTU a better sense of timing. Other thoughts about this week's episode: Kind of a 'meh' episode, at least from my viewpoint. The biggest flaw with this episode was that it needed more Jack. Also, I don't like where this whole Tom (not the King) thing is going. They've already done the highjacking the presidency bit back in season two. I like this season so far, but let's hope this hour was this season's weak point. Some other thoughts: -I like the casting of James Cromwell as Jack's dad. I didn't realize he was that tall. He towers over both of his sons. I think the only way they could have picked an actor other than Donald Sutherland to play Jack's father was pick someone three feet taller than Keifer. That way, the father would have some sense of authority over Jack. -Unintentionally funny line of the night this week was from Jack's father: "I'm trying to keep my son out of prison." Considering where Jack was just a few days ago, I'd say that Gray/Graeme/Lobot/Whatever the hell his name is Bauer has nothing to worry about. -And just another note about the evil Bauer: When he turned heel, he should have popped in the earpiece and poured himself a glass of scotch or whatever he was drinking last season.

More (Bauer) Power!

King Tom — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 00:40:18 +0000

This week's Carnival of Bauer is up, hosted by the essential accessory, The Jack Sack.

M.C. Head?

King Tom — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 00:44:13 +0000

So I was listening to the radio and the classic tune, "One Night in Bangkok" came on. I'm listening to Murray Head go on about massage parlors and temples and I was thinking to myself, he's not really singing, he's talking. Is it possible that Murray Head was one of the first white rappers? After all, the only singing in the song is really done by the women in the background. And you can't forget that pan flute solo, beats anything on a Tull record. Tough guys tumble before O.G. Murray Head.

Jack Loses It

King Tom — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 03:20:54 +0000

I thought tonight's episode of 24 was far better than last week's. While last week we got Graeme's plot revelation, this week had much more Jack as well as other revelations and plot advancement. I don't have that many dumb comments or stupid questions, but here goes: -Why can't a president on 24 for once surround himself (or herself) with good people who aren't trying to undermine their every move? Alternative views are necessary, but the VP (who I could swear Wayne called "Melon") gives off an evil vibe, not to mention the forced resignation Tom pulled on Karen. Don't these people take some kind of oath or something? -I was disappointed that after getting off the phone with Karen, Bill didn't call up his sleepover buddy Wayne personally. -I'm still figure out whether it's supposed to be Gray, Graham or Graeme. But I guess after this week, I won't need to worry about it anymore. -I'm sure Jack knows the rules of torture. But are you really supposed to hug someone you're torturing? I think that kinds of degrades the whole "I'm going to do whatever it takes to get this information out of you" vibe the torturer is supposed to give off. -Loved the whole Graeme is the mastermind of Day 5 reveal. Loved even more Jack's reaction. I would hope that the CTU people listening at least understood why Jack cracked the way he did. -Don't know how I feel about the father being evil. But Jack's family is sure messed up. I almost expect them to cast Lena Olin (in Irina Derevko mode) as Jack and G. Bauer's mother.

Regaining Momentum

King Tom — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 04:32:18 +0000

Anyone remember that show about a bunch of people stranded on an island and there were all these weird things going on, like a hatch and a smoke monster and some crazy cultist rednecks trying to kill them? Well, I hope so, because Lost is back. And I'm glad. While I like the prospect of the 16 (or however many) back-to-back episodes, this break was a killer. Maybe next year they should take the 24 route and just start the season in January. I thought tonight's episode was good, and I'm sure I missed a bunch of easter eggs and other assorted clues, but it felt like it flew. I'm glad they're done with the surgery sub-plot, as I think Ben is creepy, and tonight's awake-while-knocked-out-for-surgery Ben scared the crap out of me. Still, I hope that coercing Jack into performing this surgery wasn't the only reason the show had for introducing and using the Others. I hope not. One other thing about the surgery: that hour must've been a long time. If I were Jack, I would have been asking some questions and demanding some answers. The only time we got anything (when OtherTom was talking about the sky going purple), he got interrupted and never finished saying what he was going to. I'm also glad that it looks like this second island business is done with. It's interesting, but let's get back to the gang on the beach. Some other thoughts: -The previouslies were just superfluous. ABC showed a freakin' clip show (which ended with the clips shown in the previouslies) right before the show. And is it me, or has Lost had almost as many clip shows as original episodes? -Ethan is creepy. Not as creepy as Ben. Maybe like 0.5 Ben on the creepy scale. Still, he had what, two lines this whole episode? -When Kate said she'd shoot that guy in the knee, the first thing I thought was that they were getting episodes of 24 in those cells she's been spending the past few weeks in.

‘Tis the season of treason

King Tom — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 04:47:39 +0000

Thank you, FOX, for putting on two-hours of 24 tonight. And an extra special thank you to my usually-worthless FOX affiliate for not messing up the episode by running any weather warnings whatsoever despite the storm of the century being just hours away. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again: can anyone on the president's staff be loyal? There's something that's bugging me about this season, and I think that's it- that everyone in the president's inner circle is against him. And it just echoes what we've seen in past seasons- the Sherri/David struggles in Day 1, the enactment of the 25th Amendment in Day 2, the creepy VP in Day 5, and the list goes on. For once, I'd like to see a president do some worthwhile background checks on his staff to weed out the traitors. But I'm sure doing so would take out some of the drama of the story. Well, then, they'd have to focus more time on the adventures of Jack Bauer. Which I'd have no problem with. Some random stupid thoughts about tonight's extravaganza of Bauer: -How did McCarthy's girl become this awesome getaway driver? -And shouldn't the roads have been a little more crowded, with a nuclear bomb going off a few hours ago? I would've thought those freeways would have been packed. -While McCarthy was trying to hotwire the car, Morris was in the backseat of the sportscar trying to charm the girlfriend. And it was nice to see him finally put that charm to use on someone other than Chloe. -Earlier in the day, I was thinking that Morris had a nice shirt. It was more stylish than anything we'd seen anyone wear in CTU. So I guess it was nice that Assad (or Fayed, I can't tell their names apart) took the shirt off before drilling a hole in his back. Of course, Morris shows up with a similar shirt after his return to CTU. Which makes me ask- does he have a stash of shirts in his desk drawer or something? -The bomb that Jack disarmed had to have been the most complicated bomb ever. I don't think I've ever seen anything with that many moving parts outside of some Rube Goldberg invention. -Nice to see Sherrod Brown and Rob Lowe's brother can have a secret meeting in an electrical closet in the White House basement. I'm sure the command bunker is full of unsecured doors for just such a purpose. -I was thinking that Darth Bauer was going to spend some time being a mole at CTU, but I think he was smart to get out of there. After all, you can't be an effective mole if you're eight feet tall. -So Himberly Bauer (or whatever Darth Bauer's grandson's name is) was kidnapped. Yep, he's a teenage Bauer. -The ending of hour two tonight surprised me. I was laughing at Milo rocking the covert ice cream truck till he had to blow it up. For some reason, I was expecting him to turn evil (giving access to Nadia, letting Morris know about his brother), but was surprised to see him actually come through in the clutch with some nice driving and shooting near the end.

It was fifteen years ago today

King Tom — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 17:55:46 +0000

So Weezer's been around 15 years. Kind of hard to believe they've been around that long. While last year, I wrote a fake backstory of the band, I think this year, it's time to link to the closest thing to the real history- the band's recording history, compiled by he who rocks. It's also fitting that today marks the first real weezer news we've gotten in quite some time, although it's kind of ironic that it's coming from MTV (in a story about Rick Rubin):

"Rivers [Cuomo] just gave me some demos, the first round for this album," Rubin said. "I'm trying to get my head clear to really just dive in."

I'm not holding my breath, but I am looking forward to it.

Quantum Leap

King Tom — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 04:18:07 +0000

Before I start talking about this week's episode of Lost, there's something else I want to publicly ponder. I was watching the '?' episode from last season, and was wondering how things would have happened had Boone and Locke discovered and opened the Pearl Hatch after discovering the Nigerian Plane. The original hatch probably wouldn't have seemed so mystical, especially to Locke and Boone would have died another way. But I guess, as Locke would say, that's just the way the island would have wanted it. Anyway, on to the present (or as Desmond likes to call them, re-runs): I thought tonight's episode was great. I don't want to see them do these all-off-island episodes, but I liked getting to understand Desmond and his encounter with the old woman was very thought-provoking. I'm still trying to weigh in my mind whether Desmond really did experience all of that in real life, or whether he just re-lived what we saw right after the hatch exploded. I don't think I should waste too many brain cells trying to figure it out. I don't have many comments about this episode, other than two things: -Eko's dead. On the island, he died a few days ago (or hours). To us TV viewers, he died four months ago. Kind of tough to put that in perspective as you're watching. -I'm kind of sick of seeing a dejected, jealous Charlie again. I don't mind Charlie, but he gets on my nerves being nosy and saying "Oy!" inbetween every other word. I think this episode established one thing, though, and that's Charlie is a horrible swimmer.

Getting revenge on winter

King Tom — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:37:54 +0000

For the past few days, streets and sidewalks in Columbus have, for the most part, been covered in a mix of snow and ice. Because the temperatures have been below freezing, very little of that cover is melting. And whenever this happens, I always wonder why don't they just bust out the flamethrowers and clear off the ice and snow that way? It's not like that would actually start a fire or anything, right?

The beard of evil

King Tom — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 03:31:27 +0000

I was all set to write a post on how I feel like Milo is becoming the new Tony (clashes internally with other members of CTU, once had suspect facial hair, established as an action hero in an out-of-CTU environment), but the episode-ending reveal kind of blew those plans out of the water. I did not see former President Logan being on the other end of the phone at the end of tonight's episode. That was the first jump-off-the-couch moment of the season for me. I'm guessing that Logan is under house arrest, doing nothing but watching television, waiting for Jack to call and letting his beard grow (just like Al Gore!). Even though I don't really care much for the lets incapicitate the president angle that's going on in the bunker, with the Logan reveal, I can finally get behind wherever this season is going. And now that Logan's back, they might also bring back the first lady of cleavage, which will be good for me, because I get all sorts of interesting visitors. Anyway, onto the episode: -I was really digging the Milo in action scenes. I really think he's the new Tony. Except instead of a Cubs mug, he has that bowl of nuts from Season 1 (that was the payoff I had in mind for the whole thing about Milo that I was originally goind to write). -Darth Bauer may be an evil mastermind, but he should really learn to keep his voice down when the person he's threatening to kill over the phone just so happens to be in the next room. -When Darth Bauer said "No one's life is worth everything I built," I really expected him to say something along the lines of "No one's life is worth a Mr. Pibb. Now back to the minibar." -The evil henchman Jack abducted- was that Matthew Perry? -This aide-played by Chad Lowe- what does he do that he can just hang out in a boiler room all day? Does he not have a supervisor or something that demands he do some type of work? -I was glad that Tom actually stood up to Chad, even if he got beat down. -This has gotten me thinking- if Chad is caught and convicted of treason, he could become a hanging Chad! -So who put the PDA on the ledge for Jack? I'm thinking Darth Bauer. -The Logan reveal was great. In the past few months, the Civee (who hadn't been a 24 viewer) and I have watched the first four seasons on DVD. Now, I think we have to find a way to squeeze in season five before next Monday. -I have a feeling that President Wayne has a better chance of surviving next week than that happening.

One Hero, One Zero

King Tom — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 01:50:53 +0000

So Spring Training has finally begun, and like any other year, there's plenty of drama with which to usher in the baseball season. Not that my opinion is different than what else is out there, but:

The Yankees should re-sign Rivera now, he's worth it.
I don't really care about the conflict between Jeter and Rodriguez. They're big boys and it's the Yankees Clubhouse, not Pee-Wee's Playhouse.
Carl Pavano can't just rejoin the team like nothing's happened after sitting out more than a season because of various, non-career (or even life) threatening injuries.
The new spring training caps are horrible.

The one news item that's been the most difficult for me to wrap my head around is the seeming retirement of Bernie Williams. His skills have been in decline for the past few years, and he wasn't even a starter last year. The team doesn't have room for him, and I don't disagree with the way the Yankees have handled inviting him to spring training. Still, I've watched him for the past 15 years and have seen him go from prosepct to superstar to what he is now. Back when I lived in the NY-NJ area, I went to a lot of Yankees games. Two games stand out for me- the first time I ever saw Bernie playe was July 25 of '91- he led off and went hitless in a Yankees loss, but I remember before the game, him and Ken Griffey Jr. joking around by the on-deck circle of the Yankees dugout. The other memory is from August 16 of '98--it was Babe Ruth Day at the Stadium and Bernie hit a walk-off home run to beat the Rangers. There are a lot more memories --ones that I saw firsthand and ones that I watched on television. And it's just weird thinking that in an age where players go from team to team, the one guy who has been a big-league Yankee for 15 years won't be there anymore. I also wanted mention something about one of my least-favorite former Yankees, Tony Womack. Turns out Anthony Darrell is a non-roster invitee of the Washington Senators. And he's been assigned the uniform number 00. Seems fitting for a guy with about that much talent.

One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster

King Tom — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 04:17:10 +0000

Lost takes place on an island with polar bears, a giant four-toed statue, and about 108 other mysteries. The one mystery that is not as pressing as the others is how a main character got his tatoos. That being said, I ended up liking tonight's episode more than I thought I would. I'm not saying "Stranger in a Strange Land" is a great episode. After hearing it would be about Jack's tats, I expected to hate it. I didn't hate it. I thought it was slow and built up a lot of things that never paid off, like the reappearance of the flight attendant, or even the whole bit with Jack's tatoos. What I liked: The Jack-Ben scene, the Kate-Sawyer stuff, the Juilet-Jack scene near the end and the musical montage. I'm a sucker for musical montages. I think my biggest problem, and this is a recurring frustration for me, is castaways being in close proximity to the Others and not asking "big picture"-type questions. And in this episode, both Jack and Kate and Sawyer were in a place, or had the leverage where they could demand answers. One last thing about this episode- and it's more about that tatoo (the mystery of mysteries) Is "one who walks among us but is not one of us" (or whatever) supposed to have some religious signifigance? I always thought that the Chinese on Jack's shoulder were a permanent order for General Tso's Chicken. Speaking of the tatoo, if Jack got it in Thailand, and a Thai woman (for all we know) gave him the tatoo, then why is it written in Chinese?

Goodbye, Ralph

King Tom — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:33:47 +0000

One of the greatest people I've ever known passed away last week.

My father called me today to tell me that WNBC reporter Ralph Penza died. For both semesters of my senior year of college, I was an intern at WNBC--first with a consumer reporter, and then, as Ralph's intern. Usually, I was told, Ralph only hired on full-time interns from another school. But I guess that someone had talked me up pretty good, because he accepted me as his intern, even though (because of my schedule), I could only work for him three-and-a-half days a week. Right away, I was amazed by Ralph's energy, generosity and humor. He was dedicated to getting the story right every day. I learned more from him in a few months than I did in all of my other college classes combined. There were stories that we'd be out covering all day where by the end I would be dead tired, but he'd still be going strong. I talked to Ralph a few times since moving out here, and he was still reporting stories. Ralph was a great reporter. But more importantly (as I learned), he was a great person too. Thanks for giving me a chance Ralph.

Jack and LumberJack

King Tom — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 03:14:29 +0000

One thing about the previouslies for tonight's episode that I caught: Bearded Logan (a.k.a. the titular LumberJack of this post) told Jack last episode: "Come and see me. And come alone." Is Logan asking Jack over for what the kids call a booty call? Tonight's episode, to me, was a bit of a disappointment. I'm no fan of the treason-at-the-highest-levels storyline, and they spent most of the episode dealing with that and Morris' demon alcohol drama. Jack pretty much visited Logan and played dress up. However, I thought the scenes between the two were great. On the other hand, at least they got those other storylines moving along so the focus can return to the adventures of Jack Bauer. One other thing I didn't like about this episode-I don't know if it's my hearing, but I felt like a lot of people, Gredenko, Fayed (who finally makes a reappearance) and Palmer, were mumbling. I'm sure with Gredenko and Assad it was because of their accents were muddling things up. But Palmer's been speaking in a whispery-sing-song voice all day, and it's hard to understand what was going on. Some other thoughts: -So Logan's been spending his forced retirement watching TV, growing a beard and wearing plaid. Ain't that the American dream? -Logan isn't (or doesn't seem to be) paranoid anymore. It'll be interesting to see where they go with this character. Of course, he's doing it to win back the First Lady of Cleavage. Which will be nice, because when Jean Smart returns to the show, my traffic will go through the roof again. What's good for 24 is good for King Tom. -Let me get this straight: Jack's going to an embassy. Does anyone else think, based on his track record, that this is a good idea? -It's nice to know that when terrorists have their hands on nuclear bombs that Logan has time to match his tie to his suit. -Speaking of suits, where did Jack get his from? Is he borrowing one of Logan's? Will he catch some treason cooties or something?

Tell her it’s o-hey-hey-hey-hey

King Tom — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 02:15:26 +0000

No One Else is one of my favorite weezer songs. Okay, it's tied with about 15 other weezer songs, but it's the thought that counts.

The Blue Album had some pretty strong singles, but No One Else was not one of them. Still, that shouldn't keep the song from getting a video. I found this while surfing through You Tube and think it fits the song perfectly:

Big Mister Sunshine

King Tom — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 04:12:47 +0000

Last week's episode of Lost revealed some shocking truths. After hearing that this week would be about Hurley, I was hoping that it would reveal why Hugo's nickname is 'Hurley.' That's actually something I care about finding out more than how Jack got his tatoos. Anyways, I thought tonight's episode with a return to the beach and a more lighter tale was great. Things look like they're shaping up nicely for the next few weeks. Looks like we finally might get some answers (Even if I'm now wondering what this VW bus was doing out in the middle of the island). Just a few thoughts: -For some reason, when the meteor/asteroid hit Mr. Cluck's, I couldn't stop laughing. Part of the reason was because I felt the reporter deserved it. -The only frustrating thing about this episode was 'Roger' was surrounded by papers with what looked to be a lot of writing on them. And other than Sawyer holding up a map, no one looked curious to see what the papers said. -When are they going to tell Sawyer and Kate that the hatch blew up? -The end of the episode- well at least the ride in the bus with the guys looked fun. And as a viewer, it felt fun. I just hope Hurley doesn't have to walk back to the beach all by himself. Your thoughts?

Where have I seen that before?

King Tom — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 22:07:56 +0000

The Civee and I were watching the original Back to the Future this afternoon and I noticed something. The car that the Lybian terrorists were driving: Looked a lot like the Dharma Van from this last week's episode of Lost: thanks to lost-media.com for the screencap My question is: what use did the Dharma Initiative have for the purloined plutonium? And how did the van get from the busted-up Fotomat to the island, anyway?

What was Jack thinking?

King Tom — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 03:34:52 +0000

This is probably the most painful thing I've ever had to say. It's a tough realization, and just the fact that it's right tears away at the fabric of our universe: Jack Bauer did something stupid. I can't believe he let the Russians get the drop on him like that, especially without at least calling in to CTU first. I was thinking that while Jack was questioning the Russian consul, he had some type of listening device planted or had CTU on speakerphone, but no. He had broken into the place by busting out some Russian, then questions the guy, cuts off one of his pinkies, and then walks toward the door like he's just going to walk straight out of the counsulate. Nevermind the fact that he had a shouting exchange with the security team outside the door, he just walked away like nothing would happen. This is not the same Jack Bauer that held up a convenience store just to slow down a terrorist. Jack Bauer, you have disappointed me. I can forgive you, but I will remember tonight. I really only have three other thoughts about tonight's episode, aside from the screaming pulse of disappointment ravaging my brain: -The star of tonight's episode (almost by default) is definitely Logan. He's a totally different character than we've seen him in the past two seasons through making up for his past sins (or giving the facade of attempting to) by being the opposite of everything he was before. -I actually was proud of Tom for turning Chad and the other guy in to the Secret Service. That moment alone almost made the whole storyline worth it. -And was it me, or did the VP have a fruit basket on his desk in the airplane? It was behind his monitor, and it was a bit distracting. Also distracting tonight: Jack being an idiot. I'll cease being bitter next week.

The flame goes up in smoke

King Tom — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 04:12:11 +0000

Well, that was an interesting un-mystical-flavored mysteries of mystery frickin' island episode. I really feel like I don't have much to say about tonight's episode of Lost. Kind of a shame that they built that set for the Flame and only used it in one episode, but were they really going to give the Lostaways a potential shelter with cows, satellite TV and an iced tea machine? Probably not. I appreciated the kind-of-answers we got, even if Patchy wasn't telling the whole truth. Locke exploring the island is good. Locke playing with computers is bad. I at least hope that Sayid stole one of those Dharma Operations binders before the house blew up. Two questions: -In the video of Dr. Candle that played on the computer, it looked like he was in front of that shelf in the basement with all the binders. So does that mean, at one point, that he was on the island. -About the cat- was it an actual cat, or was it the monster? And by the way, Sawyer's "who the hell are you?" = line of the season.

Martha Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

King Tom — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 02:28:48 +0000

So I've noticed that in my commentary for a few other 24 episodes this season, I've said something along the lines of "good episode, but it needed more Jack." And surprise, surprise, that's what I feel about tonight's episode. I don't know if that's some new thing they're trying--to slowly take the focus off of Jack, or to push him out of the picture, but it's not the move I'd make. While this season has been interesting, it definitely needs more Jack. But then again, last year, I thought they were going to have Curtis take Jack's place as the star of the show, so what do I know? As usual, the promos blew the episode out of proportion, and while I didn't think it was the most shocking moment in 24 history, I ... ... didn't think they'd actually kill Chuck Logan. Now that I think about it, I'm actually a bit disappointed that they killed off Logan. He was a weasel, he was a whiner, but he was duplicitous and evil. And Gregory Itzin was great in the role. To quote Charles Logan, "You played a role, Gregory. You....played....a.....role." To balance out the death, they brought in a new character, Mike "Popeye" Doyle, played by homeboy Rick Schroeder. Nice addition to the cast as a hard-nosed badass. But Rick hasn't been looking well. He actually looks like an aged Mark Hamill, and that's not a good thing. Some random thoughts about this episode: -While watching the scene where Jack disarmed the Russian guy with a belt, the Civee quipped; "Jack's really good at removing a man's belt." Even thought I told her how wrong that thought was, I had to admit it was funny. -After Doyle laid the smackdown on Morris, he said something to the effect of "If anyone has problems taking orders from me, let me know." I do. You were on Silver Spoons, chief. -Another interesting line was from V.P. Daniels (who I'm guessing is supposed to be from Texas) "I'm trying to keep America united." That's quite a campaign slogan there, Noah. "Vote Daniels: he puts the United in United States." -Aaron doesn't look too good out of a suit. -It's nice to see Martha back, even if the former first lady isn't sporting the cleavage. But isn't it against regulations where she's at to have knives around and accessible? -So they're loading up these suitcase nukes on little airplanes. Where on the plane do they stow the suitcases? Is there some sort of overhead compartment on the inside? Or do they just duct-tape the bombs to the planes? Looks like we'll find out next week. Your thoughts?

Don’t Whizz on the Electric Fence

King Tom — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 03:39:38 +0000

When I was in high school, my father had two dogs. To keep them in the yard, we got one of those invisible fence things. A neigobor wanted to get one for his dogs, but was curious as to how powerful it was. So after talking with my father, he took one of the dog's collars, held the metal part in his hand and walked "through" the fence. He jumped, shouted, and said it was a big mistake. With that in mind, I really don't blame Locke for what he did tonight. I thought tonight's episode of Lost was really good--for many reasons, it reminded me of a season one episode- with most of the action taking place at the beach. We got some weird information out of Patchy, that I'm sure after being twisted some way or another, is true. We got another bit of information linking two of the main characters. And most importantly, even though it was teased, we did not get Jackass Charlie (which is where I thought they were going with the whole Claire-Charlie conflict). And to top it all off, I really, really liked the ending, with Claire's note and the Quarterback Jack reveal. Some other individual thoughts: -They've been on the island 80 or so days. That puts them in mid-December. Am I wrong in thinking this season's season finale will be a very special Lost Christmas episode? -So Claire was involved in a (somewhat) fatal car accident. Is there a woman on this show who hasn't killed someone else? Come to think of it, have any of the main characters NOT killed anyone else? Jin? Hurley? (kinda?) Waaaaaalt? Libby? -If Claire keeps dropping her kid off with Sun and Jin that kid will know more Korean than it does English. Come to think of it, I'm really curious to see what that kid will sound like surrounded by Koreans, Americans, Austrailians, the English, a Scot and a Redneck. -I think Desmond only told Charlie he was going to die so that he'd have someone to hang out with. -It's really appropriate to have a guy with one eye telling other people they're flawed, don't you think? -When Christian was talking about "hope and guilt," was he talking about Jack? Come to think of it, I have a feeling he's still alive, and Jack and Claire are going to find out eventually. Or his body will be in a tree and Jack and Claire will find out that way. Your thoughts?

This song brought to you by CBS

King Tom — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 22:37:36 +0000

Since first hearing them sometime last decade, I've been a casual fan of Fountains of Wayne. While they're not the weez, they have a gift for making some really catchy pop-rock tunes. One thing that bugs me about them every now and then is their songs delve into the "slice of life of someone else"/story-style song. I heard some bits of their new album, and they keep this tradition alive. The one song that stood out (and even though it was a story song, I liked it), was the first single "Someone to Love." I was listening to the song this morning, and two of the lines bugged me:

And a date with the Late Show’s all that you’ve got

But she’s sitting at home watching "The King of Queens"

Are they getting some kickbacks from CBS for the title dropping, or what? On a kind of related note, the Civee and I recently saw Music and Lyrics, a romantic comedy starring Hugh Grant. The music in the movie was written by Adam Schlesinger, a cornerstone of FoW. No big surprise, the songs in Music and Lyrics are actually pretty good.

It’s Eight O’Clock. Do you know where Jack Bauer is?

King Tom — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 02:48:02 +0000

Wasn't it sometime in the past few weeks (or, for that matter, multiple times in the last few weeks) that I said a certain episode of 24 didn't have enough Jack? Well, now it's getting ridiculous. Tonight's episode of 24 (a very late-feeling 7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.) had what had to be, at most, 15 minutes of Jack sandwiched in between CTU drama and White House bunker drama. At least this episode had Jack flying into Bauer-rage, even if it was after hearing the news of Audrey's death (although the King wants to know why make her death that prominent if she's really dead). Of course, that probably means that he'll go rogue trying to take on a billion Chinese, while Ricky Schroeder and the rest of CTU play chase the nuke. Of course, knowing it's Jack, he'll take care of the Chinese then step in with 15 minutes left on the season to clean up any mess CTU may have gotten itself into. But back to tonight's episode. -I thought the Chloe as breathalyzer scene was classic Chloe, even if it involved Milo looking on like some horrific car crash was happening in slo-mo right on the CTU floor. -I guess that's the last of Martha/Aaron and Chuck Logan- not one mention of them during the previouslies or the episode itself. -They're doing a good job of making the VP as psychopathic as any villan the show has ever had. Although he was all huffy about the nuke exploding on American soil. But if it detonates at 500 feet (which was the original plan), then he doesn't have anything to worry about, right? -I really didn't want to see the Palmer sister back this week. But she didn't have any speaking lines, so bonus. Of course, there's always next week. -When he was piloting the drone, I thought Jack displayed exceptional hand-eye coordination for someone who was in a Chinese prison for the last two-or-three years. One last thing for this week, and that's a note to the producers: You have this character on the 24, Jack-something-or-other. Try using him once in a while.

What’s In The Box?

King Tom — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 03:32:44 +0000

Was it me, or was anyone else's sound messed-up during tonight's episode of Lost? During the first half of the episode, there was this weird echo (not an Eko) every few seconds. It sounded pretty neat with the soundtrack and music bits, but for the voices, it was really annoying. It was even happening during the commercials, and just on the ABC station. So I'm guessing it was my lousy local ABC affiliate, which wouldn't surprise me, because they mess things up on a regular basis. On to the episode! -So Locke was clinically depressed after getting kicked out of the commune? Just when you think his pre-island life couldn't get any more lame, something like this comes along. Although (up till the end of this episode) I was thinking that there are a few survivors, Locke being the most prominent, who would never want to leave the island. But I kind of think that was the point of tonight's episode. -What good is that fancy invisible fence security system if it can't alert the Others of a security breach? Maybe they just got tired of sending out a cleaning crew every time a bird flew into the thing. -That was nice of them to give Jack his own little bungalow. -I was surprised that Ben had a Craftmatic Adjustable Bed. Even more surprised it didn't have a DHARMA logo on the side (but I was happy to see that the food in his refrigerator did). -Why is it that every time someone on this island asks "why..." ("why are you here?" "why don't you want to leave the island?") the answer is always "you wouldn't understand"? Is it that hard to take a few minutes and just talk through the answer? Or in addition to healing tumors and spine problems, does the island also have the mysterious power of making people unable to explain things in a coherent fashion? -I'm sorry that Sayid got beat up, but as a viewer, it was totally worth it to have someone finally say something to her about her mother. -The Ben/Locke scenes were great. Especially the lines "We have a pair of hamsters running on a giant wheel in our underground secret lair," and "you better hope it can make you another submarine." -Dear Lost Producers: Can we have a whole season of Locke and Ben? Thanks. Stay Classy, King Tom -I'm moving all my phones away from the window. -Sure, I'm interesting in finding out how Locke survived an eight-story fall, but I'm more interested in finding out how his geriatric father gave him a spear that makes Edge's look lame. I was surprised daddy Locke didn't at least break that bottle of burbon over his head first. -I liked the reveal at the end, even if it was telegraphed a little. Unfortuantely, I don't think they're going back to Locke and daddy Locke until two weeks from now. -Say it with me, class: Ben is evil. Your thoughts?

The Hour of Rain Man

King Tom — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 02:39:18 +0000

If there's one complaint that I've had about this season of 24, it's there hasn't been enough Jack. It feels like he's been pushed aside in favor of focusing on the blossoming soap operas taking place at CTU and underneath the White House. And he's only killed a handful of people. Jack Bauer has not killed this few people in a day since he was in junior high. And so I've been thinking, what can, or will they do, to bring the focus back to Jack? In what way will they bring back the one-man killing squad that we've watched over the past six years? The answer to those questions: team him up with Rain Man. Watching the opening scenes of tonight's episode unfold, I was looking forward to seeing Jack get back out in the field. It was nice to see the terrorist he shot last week die from those injuries. And as the plot to take down Gredenko progressed, Jack actually formed a bond with Brady, who was being used by his evil brother. But something just felt wrong about the whole setup. I don't want to be all sensitive and say they were exploiting Brady and his condition (because anyone who knows me can tell you I'm one of the least sensitive people out there). But the whole plot just seemed like it was from a whole different show. Although, I have to admit, after seeing the terrorists use someone with, shall we say, "unique mathematical skills" to exploit some security system, I found myself wondering why that hadn't been used earlier. The other main plot was way underneath the White House, as Vice President Yosemite Sam proved his machismo by threatening a nuclear strike. Meanwhile, those officials who didn't have to prove their manhood (or womanhood) were urging a more sensible course of action. This storyline is allright, I guess. But there are two things about it that get to me: -It screams of the Day 2 25th Amendment removal of David Palmer. -Whenever I see Sandra Palmer and Karen Hayes on the screen, I have to fight sleep. Well, at least Wayne Palmer is awake again. And this show featured more than five minutes of Jack, so maybe it's moving in the right direction. Your thoughts?

A game with attitude

King Tom — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 23:05:57 +0000

The Baseball Mogul series is one of my all-time favorite video game franchises. It's not just the concept of running my own baseball team, but the game's humor also is also key. For example, the '03 version contained a scouting report of a certain Yankees pitcher* that said:

Baseball needs more pitchers like Carl Pavano.

Well, four years later and the game can still bring the humor. I downloaded the latest version of the game and made a trade offer, to which the computer general manager replied: Oh yeah? Well, yo momma so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs! *Kind of related: in a conversation yesterday, my brother referred to Pavano as Mr. Ouchy McBreaks-My-Ass

Perspectives

King Tom — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 03:16:59 +0000

For those Lost fans who have been paying attention to such things, it's been forecasted for a while that tonight's episode, Expose, would not focus on the main characters or reveal any of the big mysteries of the island. While I was initially skeptical of tonight's episode for potentially not following up on things like last week's hour of awesomeness, tonight had enough tiny moments of awesomeness to qualify as a solid episode. So we finally learn more about Nikki and Paulo, or as they're better known, what's-her-face, and gotta-take-a-dump-guy. We got maybe five minutes of their pre-island lives before seeing their time on the island explained in the context of what was going on for the main characters. That I liked. I was actually impressed by the scenes they blended together- the crash and the fight with Boone, because I couldn't tell where one bit ended and the other began. Also, they finally tied up the Charlie-Sun-Sawyer tension from last year and had some comedic moments with the stylings of Sawyer and Hurley. I can't say this was an essential episode--it doesn't change things, but it does bring a new way of looking at some things (mostly the discovery and use of the Pearl Hatch)--and that was nice to see. Some other thoughts: -Moment of Awesomeness #1: Billy Dee! He wasn't three-quarters of the way drunk like the last time I saw him. Rather, he was in full , slimy double-crossing, no-good swindler mode. -Evidence Nikki isn't as smart as she appears: If she's lecturing Paolo about not smoking to not leave evidence, why does she open the closet door, re-arrange things and open the safe without gloves? -Loved Sawyer's line about the crime lab hatch. I think he said what everyone was thinking. -Moment of Awesomeness #2: Sawyer: "Jabronies" -Moment of Awesomeness #3: Jin: "Jab--roni-es?" -It was nice seeing Arzt again. But kinda creepy watching him put the moves on Nikki. -Moment of Awesomeness #4: Sawyer: "I'm gonna do a perimeter sweep." Did he turn into Jack Bauer all of a sudden? -So now that two characters have come up to him asking what will happen in the future, is Desmond officially the island freak show? -So Ben and Juliet were in the Pearl. How did they get there- did they go down the ladder- or is there some other exit? -I guess this proves Paolo didn't wash his hands. -Judging by the sounds that were made right before they appeared, I'm gonna have to say the spiders that bit Nikki were actually the monster. But I could be wrong. Your thoughts?

King Tom’s Goin’ To WrestleMania!

King Tom — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 03:00:06 +0000

I've been to a final game of the Stanley Cup Finals. I've also been to the final game of a World's Series. In keeping with that theme, this Sunday, I'm going to WrestleMania. My friend Ryan, who lives in the Motor City, procured tickets to the big event. I've been to a number of WWF live events before, including one of the worst pay-per-views ever, but I'm really pumped about going to a WrestleMania. Of course, this year's King Tom's Annual WrestleMania Bash (tm) was re-scheduled for the Royal Rumble, but why host a pay-per-view event when I'll be there in person? My one wish that when all is said and done, Sunday's show doesn't go down in history as one of the worst WrestleManias. Some of my favorite wrestlers (Jericho, Rock) aren't affiliated with the federation anymore, and Stone Cold Steve Austin, who's refereeing a match, isn't actively wrestling. Chris Benoit is stuck in a match with a jabroni. And there aren't that many matches on the card. But there are some positives. Useless Triple H isn't involved. There's no blindfold match. There's really no bad guy expected to win the main event. And even if that does happen, Hulk Hogan isn't expected to come out of nowhere and hog the spotlight in the main event. I'm looking forward to it. I just hope I make it back home in time for Opening Day.

WrestleMania Hangover

King Tom — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 17:53:18 +0000

Last night, I was one of 80,000 plus that packed Detroit's Ford Field to watch WrestleMania 23. And I was pleasntly surprised, as it was a really good show. The seats were in the tenth row of the second level. I could tell what was happening in the ring, but there was an overhead light that blocked my view of the video screen. I was happy with the results of all the matches, even if the rest of the crowd wanted to kill John Cena. The only negatives- the sound was real loud. And Lilian Garcia has the world's most annoying voice. So try imagining that at about a billion decibles. The event ended before 11, and I got back to Columbus a few minutes before four in the morning. Considering that and the fact that it's Opening Day at Yankee Stadium, I'm glad I took today off.

Am I watching the right show?

King Tom — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 02:24:00 +0000

For the past few weeks, I've been going on and on about how the latest hours of 24 haven't had enough Jack. The focus lately has been on political/legal intrigue in the White House bunker and love parallelograms at CTU. And while those are okay in the background, they cannot carry a whole episode (or multiple episodes) of 24 as they've been doing lately. Tonight's episode was boring. There were a few minutes of Jack in action near the end, but even that wasn't enough to save this episode. In an effort to show that I think the show can do better, I have three things that should have happened this episode to have made it better: -Wayne Palmer, after being awoken from his coma, should have shown some side effects. Maybe a touch of tourette's. Maybe the ability to see the future. Or maybe the gift of ventriloquism, which would have made that 25th amendment meeting interesting. -Instead of listing the books he's read to try and impress Nadia, Special Agent Mike Doyle should have used either of the following lines: "Hey, remember Carlton from Fresh Prince? He and I were best friends growing up." or "My dad has a scale model train that runs through his house. Wanna ride the train with me?" -The chase at the end should have ended up on that ferris wheel. I could just see Jack following Fayed and the one-armed commie by jumping from gondola-to-gondola. While Jack did kill two bad guys tonight, involving the ferris wheel would have really made things entertaining. This is what happens when the show is boring. Instead of thinking of (somewhat) witty things to say about what goes on in the episode, I'm making up what should be going on in the episode. So please, 24 producers, have Jack go back to being the focus of the show by kicking ass and killing bad guys. What do you think?

So…more questions

King Tom — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 03:12:17 +0000

[sarcasm on] I love it when an episode of Lost answers something, but introduces about ten more questions that need to be answered. [/sarcasm off]

At least this week's episode returned to the more pressing island issues- the fate of those who were captured by the Others. But if you missed the last five seconds of the episode two weeks ago, you wouldn't feel like you're missing anything.

Instead, I'm wondering what happened between Locke and his father. And I'm sure I'm not the only person.

Also- where in the world are the Others going if they're deserting their little village?

Did Juliet get left behind on purpose or because she killed Pickett?

Did Desmond have to make sure Charlie's boar was thoroughly cooked?

To quote Kate, "Welcome to the wonderful world of not knowing what in the hell is going on"

Well, now we know the Others didn't create the monster.

What made this episode for me, was the Hurley and Sawyer bits. And the effect that had on Sawyer's interaction with everyone else. Although I don't think Sawyer's going to be the island President for very long, it's nice to see his character changing somewhat.

Now, we’re gonna have some fun.

King Tom — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 02:36:55 +0000

After three-plus weeks of boring plotlines, next-to-no action and an overall lack of Bauer, the 24 we all know and love has returned. With Jack going a mixture of Rambo and Indiana Jones, as well as one of the best villain deaths the show has ever shown, this hour more than made up for the past few lackluster episodes. Even though I'm still holding out hope that Wayne Palmer develops some super powers (hey, the way he was twitching, he could turn into the Incredible Hulk), I even like what they did in the White House bunker this episode. Maybe that's because they didn't recycle plotlines from previous seasons and kept the presidential scenes secondary tonight. I was amazed that Jack got at least five minutes of screen time in the first block of the show. The only drawback to tonight's episode was the armored car entering the tunnel. Maybe it's also residual Alias plotlines going through my mind, but nothing good can happen when a car being followed enters a tunnel. And while not a negative, I just knew something was going to happen once Doyle's phone rang during the final scene. Guess we know where the rest of this season is headed. And as for Fayed, well, he'll still be hanging around.

Some noise from the Weezer front

King Tom — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 02:41:20 +0000

A few months ago, a report surfaced that Rivers Cuomo sent Rick Rubin a CD of some demos for the next weezer album. Well, today, the first demo for the sixth album "leaked." The demo, a song called Pig, is a bit different, being told from the point of view of a pig whose time has come. It's an interesting idea for a song and it sounds like a good first step (but be forewarned: it's just Rivers and some instruments, not full-band-rock).

Not much to say

King Tom — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 03:18:44 +0000

I liked tonight's episode of Lost, but I really don't have much to say. I just wish more people (ahem, Jack!) would listen to Sayid.

Hello world!

King Tom — Tue, 22 May 2007 23:33:12 +0000

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

About

King Tom — Tue, 22 May 2007 23:33:12 +0000

Hello and welcome to King Tom's Kingdom. The Kingdom is a pointless blog about King Tom, and occasionally, Lost, 24 and weezer. While I'm grateful to have visitors, I realize I can't offer you drinks or tell you to put your feet up. You'll have to do that on your own. But feel free to leave a comment. Or e-mail me at tchansky (at) gmail (dot) com. Thanks for stopping by.

Aaaaand we're back!

King Tom — Wed, 23 May 2007 02:12:22 +0000

Hello everyone! Well, I've finally gotten my own domain/Web host. And because the blog is working again, there's no time like the present to start posting. I'd like to thank DJL and everyone at the Jamootz Network for hosting the Kingdom the last few years, but now I'm on my own. I've actually had things to write about and now I have a place and a way to write them. I'm still settling in here, so a few things may change, but not too much. It's good to be back.

That wasn't the kind of "Cliffhanger" I had in mind

King Tom — Wed, 23 May 2007 21:47:35 +0000

Day six of 24 is over. And I'm glad. What started out with so much promise slowly degenerated into just another television show. This season, the focus of the show moved away from Jack and the show really suffered. It got to the point where while it still was better than most of what else was on television, but not the same 24 that I would pause my life (and yell at friends and family who dared call during the show) to watch. Anyway, about the final two hours of today: The best part about the two hours to end the day were definitely Jack and Buchanan teaming up and the assault on the oil rig. For some reason, Jack going rogue never gets old, even if Buchanan has to return to the field to help him escape custody. I also appreciated the shout-out to the Jack-Sack when Jack and Bill were gearing up for the showdown and the double manpurses they got from the CTU truck. I was disappointed in the scenes with Special Agent Ricky Schroeder and Himberly Bauer. I expected one of the following: -Special Agent Ricky going on a long monologue about how the kid will grow up to look just like him. -A plan where Special Agent Ricky took the kid's place. They're both blonde, of the same height (okay, I'm guessing on that one), it could have worked! And needless to say, the ending was really disappointing. I have nothing to offer, except this haiku: Jack's at a crossroads Let the next day be better Audrey don't wake up.

Want more Lost? Wait 'till February!

King Tom — Thu, 24 May 2007 03:22:08 +0000

Damn. Just watched the season finale of Lost and all I have to say is I love this show. Well, I have more to say, but that's just the initial reaction. Three great lines (doing these from memory): Charlie: "If that's Ben, tell him I say hi!" Rose: "If you say 'live together, die alone,' I'll knock your teeth in. Hurley: "Come in, Others!" I never thought I'd say this, but I'm sad to see Charlie go. And I was really relieved with the reveal that Jin, Sayid and Bernard didn't die. Two things about the action on the beach: -I'm a bit surprised that Jin wasn't that good a shot. I would've thought he would be a crack shot judging from his days at CTU. -Hurley running that one Other down with the van reminded me of Mr. T running down some fools in the A-Team van. The story moved a bit slowly and we didn't really get any answers to the big mysteries, but we're left with an ending and a course of action that totally changes the direction of the show. We know they make it off the island, contrary to the wishes of Ben and Locke. We know that at least Jack and Kate live. But their lives aren't so good. We also know Naomi has nothing to do with Penny. And we've seen Waaaaalt age about three years (even though, in Lost-time, he left the island last month). Knowing all that, I have to say that Jack should have listened to Locke and or Ben. I feel like I can't complain about not getting any answers with this episode, because it was just so good in every other way.

It was thirty years ago today

King Tom — Sat, 26 May 2007 03:01:06 +0000

I was a few months away from being born, so I can only rely on second-hand information, but on May 25, 1977, Star Wars premiered. To this day, it remains my favorite movie. It was one of the earliest movies I remember seeing. And it's also one of the earliest media influences that I remember having. My father took me to see the original (and Episodes 5 & 6) in the theaters countless times, and for that, he deserves some type of medal. Even after they were out of the theaters, I kept watching the movies over and over again (to the point of wearing out the one VHS copy that I had of Episode 4). Growing up, I remained faithful to the franchise, knowing that one day, more Star Wars movies would hit the big screens. And eventually they did. And while the quality on one of them was lacking, I enjoyed the experience. I'd consider myself a Star Wars geek. While I (outside of Halloween) have never dressed up as a Star Wars character, I've seen four out of the six movies on opening night (the last two at their respective midnight showings, and for Episode 3, twice (back-to-back) on opening night). And, in one of my most fun experiences of fandom, I even attended a Star Wars convention. So, I'd like to thank George Lucas for all the memories. And while I don't expect more movies down the road, it's nice to know I can always go back to the original.

King Tom cooks with fire

King Tom — Wed, 30 May 2007 02:46:58 +0000

Monday, on a whim, the Civee and I purchased a grill. We got a charcoal Weber-wanna-be. I figured if I was going to burn down the neighborhood, I might as well not do it with a lot of extra gas attached to the grill. We've used the grill twice so far. Yesterday, with Iron Mike as our guest, we made turkeyburgers. Today, we made chicken. Both came out pretty good. Even though I've only grilled on my own twice in my life, I know the following:

Fires can take a while to start.

Don't put lighter fluid on a burning fire (or don't put a lot of lighter fluid on a burning fire).

If the food's on fire, it can still be okay (just as long as you don't let it be en fuego for long). That's all I have. A few years ago, djl and I considered going halfsies on a ton of coal we saw advertised for $57/ton. I wonder if, in the long run, that deal would still save money.

Quick question

King Tom — Wed, 30 May 2007 22:25:19 +0000

Say you're out walking and on the sidewalk, you see a $20 bill. No one else is around. You pick it up. What would you do with it/spend it on?

LOST withdrawal

King Tom — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 23:33:41 +0000

It's been two weeks since the last new Lost until February. To help hold you over, here's a nice little blend of Lost (season 2 flavor) and some Weird Al: Thank you, bobville.com!

In Soviet Russia, Missile Commands YOU!

King Tom — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:54:36 +0000

One summer, growing up, I once made the top score on a game of Road Blasters at an arcade in Lake George, New York. The next summer, my initials were still at the top of the list (but they were gone the next summer). I've spent a lot of time playing video games, both in the arcade and at home. But I never realized until today how good I had it. Wired.com just posted an interesting feature about Soviet-era arcade games. There's a photo gallery containing some of the game cabinets and one or two screenshots. It might just be their dilapidated state, but these games look bad. What's more, according to the article, these communist timewasters did not have high score lists:

"That kind of competition wasn't encouraged," explains Alexander Stakhanov, one of the museum's founders and engineers. "If you got enough points you won a free game, but there was no 'high score' culture as in the West."

Looking back, some of the games in our arcades years ago are primitive. But they were light years ahead of Adventures of Comrade Marioski in Capitalist Land.

Fun in the sun

King Tom — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 22:54:43 +0000

With temperatures in the last few days reaching the mid-90s, I think it's safe to say that summer's here. I'm almost tempted to watch my local news to see if they run my favorite story- the reporter who locks him/herself in a car to see how long one (in the place of a child or pet) can stand being in a car in the hot weather. It's an amusing story, but not enough to get me to watch.

So Long, Crippler

King Tom — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 03:08:32 +0000

Iron Mike called me about three hours ago to tell me Chris Benoit died. At the time, the idea was incomprehensible, and it doesn't make much sense now, either. For the last year or so, Benoit was the main reason I still watched wrestling. Sure, the Rock, Jericho and Austin moved on from active competition, but Benoit was still wrestling and carrying people with one-tenth his talent to great matches nightly. And now, in some event, from some causes that I'm not sure I want to know, he and his family are gone. At least I still have all those old matches on tape or DVD somewhere. And this is still my greatest moment as a fan:

Disappointment

King Tom — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 22:55:55 +0000

I kind of said yesterday that I didn't want to know the details. And now that I do, I just find myself very disappointed. And now, I'm moving on. In addition for his family, I do feel sorry for the federation- they have to find a way to bounce back from all of this, and they're going to be getting a ton of bad press in the near future.

Blizzard of Oz

King Tom — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 23:10:42 +0000

Six years ago, I went to Detroit with djl to see my second weezer concert. Among the opening acts was a young (or at least around my age) band called Ozma. The Oz played energetic, melodic rock and was a perfect appetizer for the main course of weez. Last night. accompanied by the Civee, I went to the Basement, here in Columbus, to see Ozma headline. The Basement is a small venue (not more than 100 people), but nevertheless a loud one. We missed most of the first opening act, and the second act, Eastern Conference Champions, had some interesting sounding tunes, even if their lead singer sounded like he had nasal issues. As for Ozma, well, they're all grown up. Mostly. In the time since I last saw them, they released an album, broke up, re-formed, got a new drummer and released another album. They looked comfortable in their headlining role and played more of their old stuff, with only a handful of songs from their new album in the setlist. It sounded like they were having technical difficulties (the keyboards were barely audible for most of the songs), but they did a great job of rocking out. And, as a surprise to me, I wasn't the only person in the crowd who knew the lyrics to most of their songs. So it was a good show. Check 'em out sometime.

Happy Birthday!

King Tom — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 15:20:11 +0000

To:

and: Sorry I didn't get around to sending you a card this year, Big Stein.

Correcting a 20-Year-Old Mistake

King Tom — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 02:48:10 +0000

Last week, the Civee and I went to see Transformers. (She tagged along because I've watched a bit of General Hospital in the past few weeks). While I was looking forward to the movie for a while, I was prepared for the possibility of disappointment. Ugly robots, only one of the original voice actors and the director of Pearl Harbor trying to make a movie about transforming robots meant this could have been a very bad movie. But it wasn't. I really enjoyed it. Some of the action scenes were hard to follow, the Tranformer "deaths" happened too easily and I had questions about some of the plot points, but those were minor issues. The action was great- and it was neat seeing things from a "human scale" (even if that made it hard to follow). John Tuturro and his character were a nice surprise. The idea of transforming robots didn't seem that ridiculous (even if the scene outside Sam's house was a bit of comedic relief). And Optimus was the same Optimus Prime character ("Freedom is the right of all sentinent beings," "One shall stand, one shall fall) that he was back in the days of Generation 1. Best of all, he didn't die this time.

In his mind, he's already there.

King Tom — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 02:04:01 +0000

Michael Richards, who played Kramer on Seinfeld and famously made an ass of himself last year, is going to Cambodia to find himself. From the link:

the comedian is visiting remote temples in Cambodia, following the teachings of a Hindu monk. In a recent Los Angeles Times interview, the comic admitted he has lost his sense of humor, adding, "I'm taking time off to feel myself out, get to know myself and appreciate other people."

Sometimes, you know, life does imitate art: In real life: -Michael Richards played Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld. -Cosmo Kramer was based off of Kenny Kramer, real life friend of Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. -After the fictional character based on him became one of the most popular television characters ever, Kenny Kramer started (a hilarious) reality tour. -Michael Richards goes insane during a live performance. -Michael Richards goes to Cambodia in Southeast Asia to find himself. In "art:" -The biography of Elaine's boss, J. Peterman, is based off of stories bought from Cosmo Kramer. -After the book becomes a bestseller, Cosmo Kramer starts (a pathetic) reality tour. -J. Peterman goes insane while at work. -J. Peterman runs off to Myanmar (not the discount pharmacy), in Southeast Asia to find himself. All I have to say is the world works in strange ways.

You know my name

King Tom — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 02:44:30 +0000

Because my legal name ends in Jr., I've never been the only Tom in my family. Now that I'm married, it's even more complicated. Both The Civee's father and eldest brother share my first and middle names. I was driving to a wedding this weekend with The Civee and her parents, when the topic of what to call me amidst all these other Toms came up. Thomas? No, I don't like it. Tommy? I haven't been called that one in a long time, and I don't mind it, but it's also what The Civee's brother was called when he was younger. But then, I said, "Well, some of my friends call me King Tom." After getting past the whole "why do they call you King Tom" bit, The Civee's mother started to call me "King Tom" several times throughout the night. Of course, each time she did so, the cutest little scowl would appear on The Civee's face. If this continues, much fun will be had at my wife's expense.

Print is dead

King Tom — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 22:19:49 +0000

I was disappointed earlier this week to find out that next month, the Weekly World News would cease publishing its print edition. While never a subscriber (or regular purchaser), I have bought my share of issues, mostly using them as bathroom-area wall decorations in college. They say the Web version will still be published, but the Web version of the world's only reliable newspaper isn't that great. Now I'll have to get my all my news from people at the bus stop.

Memories from The Stadium

King Tom — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 02:08:22 +0000

While working on a project, I started writing about some of my many trips to Yankee Stadium. I ended up writing a lot and it's attached to this post. You may want to skip it, especially if you're not a Yankees fan.

I became a Yankee fan through my father and grandfather. Both were fans, and it was easy to become a fan in New York with games always on television or on the radio and Yankees stories in the paper.

My parents divorced when I was young, and while I lived year-round with my mother in Staten Island, I spent a lot of time (weekends, holidays, summers) with my father in New Jersey.

I was lucky growing up that during summers, even though he lived in Jersey, my father would take me to a few games each year. We eventually purchased the 'Sunday plan' for 1997 and 1998. When I was old enough, I'd go to the stadium with friends, or even by myself for a time or two. I don't remember every single time I've been to the stadium, but here are some of the most memorable and entertaining (at least to me). I should thank Retrosheet for filling in the dates for some of these.

My first time at the Stadium was July 22 1984 (I was six years old), for a day game against the Twins. Our seats were on the first level, behind home, but up. Dave Winfield hit a home run in the first, and the Yankees won in the bottom of the ninth as Willie Randolph singled in Bobby Meacham. I remember Sgt. Slaughter was in the owner's box and they showed him on the big screen during one of the breaks in between the innings. I was just getting into wrestling at the time, so it was neat to see the two worlds collide.

In addition to my father taking me to games, every summer, when my mother enrolled me in the YMCA day camp (at Camp Pouch on Staten Island), I'd go to games organized by the camp. The seats were always horrible (in right field fair territory, all the way up on the third level). We'd do a lot of chanting- specifically for Dave Winfield. Every now and then, we'd get a wave (too bad we didn't do it for the whole team, then we'd have created the roll call ten years early). One game I remember was August 24, 1988 (I think it was my second-to-last year in camp). The Yankees were down 4-1 going into the eighth. Don Slaught hit a sacrifice tie to bring in one run, but that was it for the eighth inning. It was at that point our counselors decided to bring us back to the buses. As we filed out of the stadium, Scott Neilsen gave up two more runs and more fans started leaving. We made it out of the stadium and back to the bus as the bottom of the ninth was starting. But some of the groups from our camp hadn't made it back, so we stood outside the bus as the game continued inside the stadium. One of my friends bought those in-ear radios they used to (probably still do) sell at the stadium gift shop and was listening to the bottom of the ninth on it, letting us know what was going on. The fans inside were cheering--a Ken Phelps home run tied up the game and a Rickey Henderson single won it for the Yankees, as we waited outside the stadium. And we missed it all. It was a good thing there was only one day of camp left that year, because the counselors were not popular people.

After I graduated eighth grade, my father was able to get some tickets for a day game. The tickets were about five rows behind the Yankee dugout. The game was in July of 91 vs. Seattle. The Yankees lost, but before the game I got Mike Ferraro's autograph. I remember before the game watching the players on each team talk with each other (BP was cancelled that day on account of clouds) --the one thing that still stands out to today is watching our rookie Bernie Williams laugh and joke around with Ken Griffey Jr. It's weird looking back and thinking about this today, because in my mind, I can still see those "kids" joking around and having a good time.

In my freshman year of college, my father got the same exact seats for the second home game of the '96 season. The Yankees beat the Royals thanks to Jimmy Key (he didn't do that great that day, but he and Cone were my favorite pitchers and it was good to see Key back on the mound after missing most of '95 due to injury) and a Ruben Sierra home run. Before the game, Wade Boggs was signing autographs for a group of kids. I went down with my yearbook, and Boggs said he'd sign for me after he signed for the kids. I was kind of talking to him as he was signing, but after a few minutes Willie Randolph called him over. But then Derek Jeter came over to sign for the kids. As I fumbled my yearbook trying to find his page, he said he'd sign for me after he signed for the kids. I talked with him too for a few minutes (all the time calling him Mr. Jeter), but then, he too got called away. As a side note, I'd have happily traded my Mike Ferraro autograph for either of these two.

The next day, I went with a group of friends from my dorm floor. One of them had wanted to see Doc Gooden pitch his first home start. He got his wish and Doc was atrocious. But it was fun going to the Stadium on a Friday night with a bunch of college buddies.

Went to a few other games in '96. The only other memorable one was on August 21, a day game vs. the Angels (not sure what municipality they were affiliated with at the time). My father, brother and I went- and our tickets were in left field, in fair territory. The Yankees lost (7-1), with their only run coming off a Derek Jeter homerun in the first Yankees AB of the game. But it was a home run by the Angels that made the game memorable. Like I said, we were sitting in the outfield main level seats. My father was on the aisle, I was a few seats in and my brother was between us. Chili Davis hit the first of his two home runs in the first inning. The ball was coming right for us...everyone in our area went grabbing for the ball. But no one got it on the fly. The ball bounced off the concrete and hit my father in the arm. My father, who was just sitting there, looked shocked and said "what was that?" Evidently lost in the excitement, he didn't even realize he had been hit by a home run.

With the Yankees winning the World Series in '96, and my brother and I getting even more into the game my father thought it would be a great time to get tickets on a regular basis. He went for the 'Sunday Plan' and for two seasons we were regulars in Section 22 in the second level on Sunday afternoons.

Even though we lived in Jersey and Sunday games started at 1:05, every day we had tickets for, we would leave early enough to get there by 11:30 (noon at the latest). We even developed routines--if the line for Monument Park wasn't that long, we'd stop by and visit. We'd go to one of the gift shops, where I'd get a program, and my father would buy a handful of Yankees pens (he still buys pens on a regular basis) Then we'd work our way to the sausage stand behind the press box for some sausage. Then we'd stop at our seats, watch BP and eat. And just as the three of us had a game routine, I had an eating routine. Back then, I was in college and had a bottomless stomach. I also was able to quickly make it from our seats to one of my favorite food locations without missing much of the action. And if something big was happening, I knew where to stop to look- either at the handicap accessible location behind home plate or at a TV somewhere. But my food routine usually involved a visit to the Stadium Food Court in the third or so inning for a Roast Beef and Cheese sandwich (and I was very unhappy when they discontinued the roast beef and cheese in September of 98 for a variety of wraps) and then a visit to the outside cafe after Cotton Eyed Joe for a barbecued chicken sandwich. And I also had my share of hot dogs. I lived the George Costanza philosophy of ballpark food not being real food.

The sausage stand near the press box (I believe it was called Sausages, Etc. back in the day) was always a great place to meet "famous" people. I've seen Joe Morgan, John Sterling, Michael Kay and other local sports reporters waiting in line. Everyone was approachable--but I guess you can't not talk to people while standing in line, waiting for sausage.

We had a lot of fun in those seats for the Sunday games. For one game in late April '97, my father couldn't make it, so he gave the tickets to me and I brought along a good friend from college (Jon). Jon was from Wisconsin and wasn't a baseball or Yankees fan...that is, until the game was over. It was fun being along for his first time at the Stadium. There was another time that my father didn't use the tickets that I'm kind of bitter about. In May of '98, my father gave the tickets to his secretary so she could take her granddaughter to Beanie Baby Day. Of course, he let her...and we missed David Wells' perfect game.

Even with the Sunday tickets, I found other ways to go to the stadium. Every now and then, Seton Hall would sponsor trips to the stadium. And the tickets were just like the ones we'd get at the YMCA camp- all the way in the upper deck. The only real memorable time with school was on September 4, '97. The Yankees lost the game to the Orioles. But my friends and I were on the Jumbotron during Cotton-Eyed Joe. And people at school had seen us, because Channel 11 used a shot of us dancing like maniacs while coming back from a commercial--so we were like minor celebrities for a day or two.

Sometime in '97 (actually, May 21), a friend and I decided at about 5 in the afternoon to go to that night's game at the stadium. We were ready to buy upper deck tickets, but while standing in line at one of the ticket booths, we were waved over by this older guy in another booth. He said he just got two tickets, field level, behind home plate and we could have them for $35. We went for it, and our tickets were two rows behind home plate. It was pretty incredible because Roger Clemens was pitching, and even though he was playing for the Blue Jays, it felt like he was pitching right at us. He struck out a lot of Yankees that day (12, according to retrosheet), and the Yankees lost (but with Kenny Rogers on the mound, they really had no chance of winning).

My first post season game at the stadium was also in '97. But instead of being two rows behind home plate, we were two rows from the back wall of the upper deck. But we were straight away behind home. That was the game where Raines, Jeter and O'Neill hit back-to-back-to-back home runs, and the stadium was electric that night.

We also had the Sunday tickets for '98, and got to go to Opening Day that year. That was a long game, with the two teams scoring 30 runs in nine innings. I think we might have left that one early. A few weeks after Opening Day, the stadium was closed because of a steel beam that fell out of the upper deck. I later found out it fell on and crushed the seat that was right in front of mine (and when it was empty, I'd put my feet on it). Even after the stadium was reopened and the seat replaced, it was still pretty freaky thinking that a steel beam crushed the seat right in front of mine. Of course, knowing that George sat in that seat the day the stadium was reopened, I began to re-think placing my feet on the seat. But after a few games, I was back to doing it again.

I went to a game in each round of the post season that year--Game 3 of the ALDS, Game 6 of the ACLS (with my Met-loving roomate), and Game 1 of the WS. '98 was a really special year, and I remember in June or so of that year, everyone just having the feeling that the Yankees were doing something special. And each time I was there that year, the Stadium had that feeling.

Most of the few games I went to in '99 were unmemorable ones--I think psychologically, I still hadn't let go of '98. The only memorable one was game 4 of the World Series. I was planning on watching it on TV, but my father called me at 3 or so in the afternoon saying he got two tickets--but he couldn't go. So I called up my friend Jon (who was still in school, but by this time had converted to being a Yankee fan), drove up to Seton Hall, picked him up and drove to the Stadium. That was an incredible experience--and in a way, it exorcised the ghosts of '98. There were rumors that Paul O'Neill's dad was real sick and some other Yankees were going through personal issues, but to see them playing knowing all that was going on, and to actually be there on the day the Yankees won a World Series was the perfect experience as a fan.

On a side note, I still have a hand-copied "Ban Jim Grey" sign that someone was handing out outside the stadium.

Since Game 4 in '99, I've only been to the Stadium once.

I moved to Ohio in January 2000. In the summer of 2002, Jon (who had moved back home to Wisconsin) and I planned a trip to go out to NY and go to a game. We got tickets for August 9- the Yankees were hosting the A's. It was a Friday night and our seats were in the upper deck. The game went 16 innings, and Jon and I stayed for the whole thing. The Yankees lost, but at least we got our moneys worth.

It's hard to believe it's been five years since I've been to the Stadium. I'm sad to see it go, but I know that it's time for a new one. I'd like to go back one more time next year. But if I don't, at least I have memories of my father getting hit by a Chili Davis home run, being on the big screen, and game 4.

Gripping Your Pillow Tight

King Tom — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 02:43:18 +0000

For a few weeks I've been having problems with my eyes. Nothing major, just my vision gets a little blurry from time to time. So I went to the optometrist, and he ran through all the tests, and there was something wrong with my cornea, which can be fixed. But the cause of it, according to the doctor is that I sleep with my eyes open. The way to fix it is to get this nighttime eye drop solution and put it in my eyes every night. But how will I know if my eyes are open or shut if I'm sleeping at the time that this is happening?

A question

King Tom — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 02:44:08 +0000

If you had a choice: I Love Lucy or The Wonder Years?

This Day in Internet History

King Tom — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 01:34:18 +0000

Sixteen years ago today, Tim Berners-Lee publicly announced this thing called the World Wide Web on Usenet, which was then the dominant form of information sharing on the Internet. Happy Web day everyone!

Network Monkeys Do Good

King Tom — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 01:54:42 +0000

This will hurt my credibility as a Lost fan, but I haven't been a fan of the show since the beginning. I started watching in the summer of '05- before the second season, when djl made me a dvd of the first season. The reason I didn't watch from the beginning was because I thought Lost would just be an updated version of Gilligan's Island. Well, according to a new article in Chicago Magazine, that's almost what it was. To summarize the article, in the summer of '03, the real Lloyd Braun (head of the ABC network, not the aide to David Dinkins, gum middleman and computer salesman) came up with an idea about a show that was basically "Cast Away: the Series." The show ended up in the hands of Aaron Spelling's production company, where it was given to a writer named Jeffrey Leiber.

Lieber imagined something like Lord of the Flies—a “realistic show about a society putting itself back together after a catastrophe.” In roughly a week’s time, he concocted a general story line centered on what happens to a few dozen plane-crash survivors when they are stuck on a far-off Pacific island. The show, as Lieber saw it, would focus heavily on eight to ten main characters.

To give you more of an idea what the show involved, from a documentary on the Lost S1 DVD:

And in the initial pilot script, the time period, in the pilot alone, went over like six weeks or something. So, kind of by the end of the pilot, they were already like coconut-bowling and living in hutches and that kind of thing.

The show went through development, but Lloyd (Serenity Now!) Braun didn't like the angle the show was taking.

Braun decided to give the project J. J. Abrams ... [and Damon Lindelof] came back with a far-out idea to get around the show’s limitations: What if the island were a character—a supernatural place where strange things happened? Braun loved it.

And things took off from there. The Chicago Magazine article explains that Leiber still receives royalties from 'creating' the original script. And after the expensive pilot was filmed, Braun was fired from his post at ABC. But at least the show wasn't about cast aways going cocount bowling.

Down With P

King Tom — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 20:15:15 +0000

I haven't posted in a while, mostly because for the past week, the Civee and I were in Canada. We got back early Sunday morning (or late Saturday night, depending on who you're talking to). After recovering during the day yesterday, last night, I went to see The Rentals at the Newport in Columbus. I have to admit, the only reason I started listening to the Rentals was because the band's frontman, Matt Sharp, was the original bassist in Weezer. But after buying their first album ten years ago, I followed the Rentals (Matt and a revolving line-up) based on their own output. I could go on and on about this, but I think that Matt is much better suited to be the frontman of his own band than the bassist in Weezer. His personality was/is so much different than the rest of the band's. At least with the Rentals, the bouncy music and personalities of his bandmates complement his own. As for the show, it was really good (even if it felt weird going to a concert on a Sunday night). Except for the drummer and a backup guitarist, the other four members of the band (and Matt) changed places (and instruments) with every song. The songs featured during the show spanned the group's two albums, and the four tracks from their new EP. In addition to the drums, bass and guitar, the band used a plethora of synthesizers, a violin and even a trombone. Maybe the most impressive thing about the set was a four-song encore, which contained, as a nice surprise, a Rentals version of the Weezer song 'I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams.' The original Weezer version featured current Rentals bassist Rachel Haden on vocals, so I guess it makes sense that the Rentals would borrow it for their show. Overall, a great show (even though it had a weird vibe for being on a Sunday night).

King Tom of the Mountain

King Tom — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 23:57:07 +0000

Last week, the Civee and I were on vacation in Canada. We spent a week at Lake Duborne, outside of the town of Blind River, Ontario, a 10-plus hour drive from Columbus. The place was remote, and the vacation was fun. We arrived at the lake sometime after 3:00 a.m., and while I was dead tired from the drive, I had to take a few minutes to look at the stars. It was a clear night when we got in, and it was easily the best view of the night sky I ever had. You could easily see with the naked eye the haze of the Milky Way. Not to mention all the constellations, like Jerry the Cowboy, and Alan, the Cowboy. We spent our time there doing a variety of outdoors activities, like boating, fishing, swimming and hiking. We went into the town a few times and I was amazed at the popularity of the local Tim Horton's. We went in for some after dinner donuts, and I counted about 40 people just hanging out. And every time we drove past following that, the place was packed. There were a few other places in town to eat, but in Blind River, Tim Horton's is the place to go. The best part of the trip was the hike up to 'Fire Tower,' a mountain whose peak used to be home to a fire lookout tower, that, about 30 years ago, burned down. We docked near the shore at the bottom of the mountain and took an hour and a half to hike straight up the peak (a week later, and I'm still sore from the hike!). The view was pretty damn good, and you could even see Lake Huron, which is a few miles away. Here's a fake-panoramic shot from the peak: To give you an idea of where this is topographically; View Larger Map Because we were among the mountains and tall trees, I decided for the week, to not shave and let my beard grow for once. It's much less pathetic than I thought it'd be and it actually looks right now like I have a beard. I'm going to keep it and see what happens.

It's finally Friday

King Tom — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 21:52:29 +0000

I'm glad this week is over (in the weekday sense, not the literal sense). Both The Civee and I have been sick all week. I had a root canal done on Tuesday. And a few hours after said procedure, an uninsured, unlicensed driver did this to our car: We're both okay and dealing with the insurance company to get it fixed. Till then, I have to go in the other side and climb over the middle. So yeah, driving anywhere is real fun right now.

Rob Thomas = Ripoff Artist

King Tom — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 01:01:33 +0000

The Civee is a fan of Rob Thomas, frontman of Matchbox 20. While I wouldn't go out of my way to listen to him, I've never been offended by his music. Until now. Last year, The Civee couldn't stop listening to Thomas' single, Ever the Same. I noted at the time that the song bore a similarity to "i hope...", a song by Cincinnati independent musician Ryan Adcock (incidentally, whose song "Drive to Hallelujah" we used as the first dance at our wedding). Now, Thomas is reunited with his band, and the other day, The Civee was listening to their newest single, "How Far We've Come." The first thing I noticed was the similarity to the song "Wussypuff" by the criminally-underrated Dynamite Hack. If the Chiffons can sue George Harrison over My Sweet Lord and win, I say that Adcock and the Hack should start calling their lawyers, because to me, Rob Thomas is making a career of ripping off lesser-known artists.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy

King Tom — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 00:13:28 +0000

Mel Hall, who was a non-performing outfielder on some really bad Yankees teams in the early 90s, was indicted earlier this week on child sex charges. I can't say it's a surprise, because back when he was a Yankee, Mel took a 16-year-old to her prom. Mel also had a wonderful, outgoing personality, which, according to Joel Sherman's book Birth of a Dynasty, he used to torture then-rookie Bernie Williams:

Hall taped "Mr. Zero" to the top of Williams's locker to signify that he meant nothing to the team. One day Hall nearly brought Williams to tears by saying, "Zero, shut up," every time Williams tried to speak. The more Williams tried, the louder Hall interrupted with repetitive chants of "Zero."

Of course, Mel retired with a .276 lifetime batting average, no postseason or All Star appearances and made about $6 million from his years in the big leagues. Meanwhile, the so-called Mr. Zero is a multi-time All Star, Worlds Series champion, has a .297 lifetime batting average, is a borderline hall of famer, has the respect of Yankees fans everywhere, earned about 17 times more than Mel earned and put out an album praised by Paul McCartney. Oh yeah, and Bernie isn't a social pariah now, either.

Living in the past

King Tom — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 22:05:25 +0000

Saturday was my 30th birthday. Because of the car situation, The Civee and I spent the day looking at cars. By the end of the day, we had made a deal to buy one. Throughout the day, we had to fill out so many forms that I was confusing my birthyear with the current year, and on at least two forms I had interpolated the two dates. The Civee and I had a laugh about it. But the damage was much more extensive. Shortly after arriving at work this morning, a co-worker from HR visited me with two forms that I had filled out on Friday (the 14th). On one, I had signed and put the current date of 14 September 1977. And on the other, even more inexplicably, I had the current date as 15 November 2007. This really isn't surprising, because sometimes, while writing checks, I'll write the year as 2004. Nice to know I'm barely 30 and already senile.

Limousine Riding, Loan Underwriting

King Tom — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 03:02:57 +0000

I haven't watched wrestling in a few months, so I can't say I know what's going on with the storylines, other than hearing that Vince McMahon's illegitimate child is a midget. But back at WrestleMania, I was shocked (shocked!) to see that Ric Flair was only featured on the card as part of a dark match. I'm guessing that because he's been shuffled down the card, he's seeking other career opportunities, like financing loans. For some reason, I don't think the Civee and I would have gone with the Nature Boy for our car loan.

Exciting Things Happen On Staten Island

King Tom — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 01:21:39 +0000

The next installment the Grand Theft Auto franchise is supposed to come out next year. I'm a big fan of the three versions of GTA3, and while I don't have a next-gen (or current gen) gaming system, I've been looking forward to GTA 4, which is supposed to feature a near-close version of New York City as its playing area. However, I was a bit offended the other day when I read that the forthcoming game would not feature Staten Island, because (according to Wikipedia):

Rockstar believes it would not be fun to play there

Not be fun? We're talking about the home of what was the world's largest garbage dump! New Dorp! The fishin' hole! And now, the mysterious Ninja Burglar!

He is brazen enough to enter a home through an open garage door in the morning and sneaky enough to slip through a skylight under the cover of night. He always wears a black ski mask, seems to consider himself a jewel thief and strikes with a disregard for whether anyone is home.

And to anyone who would take the other side in the great Ninjas versus Pirates debate, I ask you, who ever heard of a Pirate Burglar?

They should've used a mail truck

King Tom — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:54:17 +0000

Yet another case of life imitating Seinfeld:

Authorities said they arrested 13 people and seized more than $500,000 in cash after breaking up a smuggling ring that collected millions of beverage containers in other states and cashed them in for 10 cents apiece in Michigan. ... A total of 15 people were named in a 67-count warrant issued as part of Operation Can Scam, Attorney General Mike Cox said Wednesday. ... The scheme defrauded the Michigan Bottle Deposit Fund, whose proceeds are used to pay for environmental cleanup efforts.

The source article even mentions the Seinfeld link. But at least Kramer and Newman didn't get caught by the authorities.

Baseball is fun

King Tom — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 22:13:51 +0000

The Yankees are officially in the postseason. And while I didn't blog about it here back in the days when they were 21-29, I always thought they'd be playing baseball in October. Yes, I'm a fanboy.Perhaps my favorite story from yesterday is the following line from the NY Daily News' Yankees blog, featuring the awesome Joba Chamberlain:

Young players like Duncan and Joba Chamberlain were taking it all in as expected, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs with each drop that hit them. ... Joba gets my favorite line of the night: After having two ice cold beers poured over his head, he shrieked that they were freezing, then said, “Dude, my nipples are so hard!”

Kids today. Going from the Yankees to another team, the gang at noMaas.org is enamored with the following picture of Red Sox closer Jon Papelbon from an article on SI.com: I agree with the noMaas gang. He's not intimidating. If I were a batter and saw that standing on the pitchers mound, I'd laugh my way out of the batters box.But I don't think he's got a coin slot on his face. I think he's trying to make his mouth as small as humanly possible. To paraphrase some movie: if you stuck a lump of coal in there, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

How not to cut a promo

King Tom — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 22:11:21 +0000

So I was driving home last night flipping around on the radio, when I stopped on FM station run by the local media conglomerate (which I used to work for). Whatever song was playing finished up, and the DJ started promo-ing an upcoming college football game, and he said the following:

So Kent State is visiting the Buckeyes this Saturday. Let's hope there aren't any anti-war protests this weekend. Well, because, you know, it's not thirty years ago.

Usually when you want to promote something, you say something funny or clever. That was neither. I admit that I'm an obnixous Yankees fan. But there are times in Columbus, when listening to people talk about the local college football team that I feel uncomfortable.

Finally...

King Tom — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 01:40:26 +0000

While the world of Weezer fans waits for the band to release its sixth studio album sometime next year, Rivers Cuomo says he's dropping his own solo CD of demos collected from 1992-2007. From Rivers' myspace:

...I've decided to split my CD/book project in two. Ultimately, I feel that the music and the literary materials will be better served if developed and presented separately... ...The music, on the other hand, is ready to start coming out now. I've compiled a CD of my favorite demos from the years 1992 to 2007 and Geffen Records has agreed to put it out this December, on the eleventh. I hope you enjoy it. I may also be able to put out more demo CDs in the near future. Not to mention the Weezer developments, which are also extremely great.

Nice that he's also looking forward to the band's production, even though his own "solo" album is coming out a few months before. Pitchfork is saying that the CD will be titled Alone - The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo. I don't know how much of a market there will be for this outside of the Weezer community. And even with the Weezer fans, if there's not some stuff on there that hasn't been heard before, this could backfire. A few years ago (2001-2003) Rivers himself gave the fans a number of demos from throughout his recording career. Many of them were good, and what he gave didn't come close to everything that he has demoed. Is it too much to hope that this is the surprise hit of the year, if only to encourage future endeavors like this?

Giant Bugs From Outer Space

King Tom — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 01:45:32 +0000

This past Saturday, while most of the rest of Columbus was busy watching some football game, the Civee and I went walking for a few miles in Darby Creek Metro Park. One of the most fascinating things, to me, was this Praying Mantis we saw in the parking lot. I took a few pictures, but only one came out good. Looking at it this way, I can see why humongous insects are a staple of bad science fiction movies.

A job I probably wouldn't get

King Tom — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 02:26:45 +0000

With the Yankees out of the playoffs, I'm awaiting the end of the World's Series for four months of sweet off-season action. The big news in the baseball world (okay, King Tom's baseball world) is that the Yankees are interviewing mangerial candidates. I thought about sending in a resume, and attaching the results of the 2005 OOSL season. But I probably won't land the Yankees job. After all, my managerial philosophy is along the lines of:

Burns: You, Strawberry, hit a home run. Strawberry: Okay, skip. (hits a home run) Burns: Ha-ha! I told him to do that. Smithers: Brilliant strategy sir -Homer at the Bat

Who's dialin' your car phone?

King Tom — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 02:22:25 +0000

I spent some time yesterday (Saturday) buying a new cell phone. The Civee and I already have a "house phone" so it's not like I need this to be my main phone, just something in case of emergencies or if I want to call someone while I'm on the road. The thing that took up the most time was trying to understand all the pricing stuff. For some reason, whenever I asked about how much it would cost a month, the salesman kept on telling me about all of the special messaging plans and extra video features. And he knew how much those cost. But not the basic price of the phone and just making regular phone calls. Once he finally figured out I wasn't interested in all that other stuff, he gave me a price and I have to admit, I was even more confused by all the "rollover" and "hours" terms. But I gave in and got the phone. The phone has Tetris. So there's one thing about the phone I understand. On a side note, downtown Columbus would be a lot more fun if it had a working cab system- one where cabs drove around and you could hail them in the street. Yesterday afternoon, the Civee and I were going to an afternoon Blue Jackets game and then to the Statehouse for a the "Haunted Statehouse" tour. But we had to pick up the tickets at the Statehouse first. We drove to the Statehouse, picked up the tickets, drove to the arena, saw the game, then drove back to the Statehouse. Would have been a lot easier if we could have just taken cabs back and forth and stopped for dinner somehere in the middle. But between the game and the tour, it was fun, so I guess I can't complain.

Adios, A-Hole

King Tom — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 01:44:15 +0000

I meant to write this a few days ago, but oh well. So Alex Rodriguez has exercised his contractual right and opted out of his employment with the New York Yankees. As a Yankees fan who has ignored the nay-saying of my bretheren over the past four years and defended Rodriguez despite his dramatic antics, I can say that I'm glad that I don't have to put up with the burden of defending him anymore. Yes, he led the league in drama. But he is one of (if not the) the greatest players of his time. And it was fun to watch him play for my team. But the way in which he went about getting out of his contract totally pisses me (and every other Yankees fan I've talked with) off. Rodriguez spent a lot of time throughout the past four years telling anyone who would listen how much he loved New York ("I want to stay in New York, no matter what" "Derek has four world championships, and I want him to have ten.") and wanted to finish his career there. However, in the contract given to him by the Rangers, he had ten days after the 2007 World Series to "opt out" of the deal. The Yankees publically said they wanted to extend his contract and asked his agent to have a meeting to discuss a deal which would pay him more money than any one person needs (and yes, they also said if he opted out, they wouldn't attempt to sign him). But Rodriguez (and his agent, who apparently doesn't follow the news) didn't even respond to the meeting request and flat-out opted out (and now the agent is acting surprised that the Yankees don't want to want any part of Rodriguez). As a Yankee fan, I'm mostly ignoring the fact that something else was going in the world of baseball on Sunday night. Regardless, Rodriguez' announcement detracted from one of the most important days in all of baseball, nevermind moved the spotlight away from teams and players who were still playing in late October. It was the only way for him to get press on the day of a World Series, because he's proven he can't perform when it matters to earn his way into a WS. He did provide some great moments. But there was also a lot of frustration, particularly with his performance in the post season. And now the Yankees, who have more resources than any other team, have even more thanks to Rodriguez' decision. Yes, it will be hard replacing him on the field. But I think they're in a better position now that they don't have so much tied up in him. The next New York Yankee third baseman won't produce as much on the field as Rodriguez did, but he won't be half the drama queen, either. By the way, here's a great article on Scott Boras' (Rodriguez' agent) little fantasy world.

Just another Tuesday

King Tom — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 03:47:18 +0000

Tonight is the first Election Night in seven years that I don't have to work. I should have celebrated in some significant way, but other than going out to dinner with The Civee, it was pretty much life as usual tonight. But dinner and the company were good. I enjoyed having the night off for a change. But I have a feeling that I'll be back at work for this night next year. I actually enjoy it. It's (now) the one night of the year that I get to work past midnight and then come in the next day after noon.

Bret Screwed Bret

King Tom — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 23:06:42 +0000

Ten years ago today, the course of wrestling changed forever in an arena up in Montreal.

Vince McMahon, owner of the (then) near-bankrupt WWF let one of his star wrestlers, Bret Hart, out of his contract to sign with rival WCW. Hart was the federation champion, with a month left to wrestle for the fed, and was willing to lose the belt to anyone but Shawn Michaels in anyplace but Canada. But McMahon feared WCW announcing that it signed away its champion. With an injured future savior (Stone Cold Steve Austin) sidelined due to a broken neck, transitioning the title to Michaels was the only way that McMahon saw he could keep his company creatively afloat until Austin's coronation. So McMahon had Hart lose a scripted match that was supposed to be a draw, effectively kicking Hart to the curb. Even more genius, McMahon used the negative karma to make himself into an evil foil for the blue-collar Austin when Austin won the belt. Hart's time in WCW was forgettable, and he was out of the business within a few years. Austin, who was already one of the industry's biggest stars, became even bigger and the near-bankrupt WWF bounced back to dominate American wrestling. While Hart was the center of an excellent storyline earlier that summer, he was slowly losing relevance. By his own admission, he didn't agree with the direction in which the company was headed. Because Austin was injured, it wasn't the right time to transition the title to him. And regardless of how McMahon handled the Survivor Series, the WWF needed a credible champion, not some joker like Ken Shamrock. The 'Montreal Screwjob' might not have had a happy ending for Bret Hart, but for Vince McMahon and the WWF, the result was more than worth it. For an extremely detailed look at what went down in the weeks leading up to the 1997 Survivor Series, check out Dave Meltzer's recap. For an excellent look at the big historical picture, check out Scott Keith's essays King Lear and Lazarus.

ackbar.jpg

King Tom — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 20:17:49 +0000

The best thing ever (of last week)

King Tom — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 21:03:05 +0000

Last week, while waiting for a movie to start, the Civee and I visited a nearby bookstore to waste some time. On one of the featured items tables near the front of the store, I noticed a Star Wars Pop Up Book, selling for $30. While I didn't buy the book, I did take a look and what I saw was pretty damn cool. Each page had multiple, detailed pop-ups, but the best was found by lifting up a flap on a page near the back of the book. Luckily, I was able to capture the moment with my new phone:

You can't repel awesomeness of this magnitude!

Crab if you wanna

King Tom — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 23:20:00 +0000

While scouting the Internet for any information on the upcoming Rivers Cuomo solo demo CD, I came across a column published today in which an MTV writer plays the metaphorical role of victim of a "loveless relationship" with Cuomo and the rest of Weezer.

I loved Weezer more than any other act alive (except for maybe Beck). Blue and Pinkerton were two of the albums that defined my teenage years, and I still believe that the latter's squealy pre-emo makes it one of the decade's most important discs, on par with, say, Radiohead's OK Computer. (I even wrote a rather embarrassing pseudo-column about this three years ago.) But ever since bassist Matt Sharp split and the band went on hiatus in the summer of '97, everything changed; the relationship, for all intents and purposes, was over.

The writer details his dissatisfaction with everything that came out after Pinkerton, as well as whines a little about how he only got 13 minutes to interview Rivers a few years ago. Honestly, I've heard this (and similar thinking) before, and I don't get it. I know that Pat Wilson (the drummer) semi-seriously said "You have to hate us to be a true fan," but this is ridiculous. It's unrealistic to expect people (and bands) to stay the same--Rivers and the rest of the band have changed. The first hiatus (late '97-2000) changed the makeup of the band and Rivers' song production styles. And with each album since (and subsequent break from music making), things have changed for the band and the people that make up the band. They still make quality rock (better than anything else out there), but if it's not your taste, why whine about how the old music was better? Music (as with most art) is as much a product of the musician's place in the world as their personality. Pinkerton came from a very negative place and times weren't pleasant for Rivers or the rest of the band. For the last four years, we've been told there's diplomacy and consensus when it comes to making music. The band members are grown up, and three of the four of them are married. Why would they want to go back to the days when Rivers told them what to play and when? Why would Rivers want to go back to the days of the Good Life?

Broken, beaten-down can't even get around without an old-man cane I fall and hit the ground Shivering in the cold, I'm bitter and alone ... Excuse the bitchin' - I shouldn't complain I should have no feeling, 'cuz feeling is pain as everything I need is denied me and everything I want is taken away from me but who do I got to blame? Nobody but me I don't wanna be a old man anymore It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night It's time I got back to the Good Life

Or as Rivers responded to a fan question two years ago:

What do you say to those people (fans) who say they want another Pinkerton? ---Michael Silvers I cant control what I write. I have to accept whatever comes. If its not what someone wants to hear, then at least they can agree with me to love Pinkerton and part as friends.

Addendum: The band's attitude toward its fans is anything but loveless. Over the past few years, Rivers (and the rest of the band) have welcomed fans on stage to play, welcomed them backstage to hang out and given them boatloads of free video and audio content. Yes, we want more, but you could make the argument that we're spoiled as it is.

Lost in translation

King Tom — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 03:49:49 +0000

Despite the declaration on weezer.com that the tracklist of Alone: The Home Recordings Of Rivers Cuomo won't be published until the album hits the stores, a Japanese media site has made the list public. From http://www.ro69.jp/news/archive.html?1265, translation available here:

1.Ooh／オー 2.The World We Love So Much ／ザ・ワールド・ウィー・ラヴ・ソー・マッチ※The New Radicalsのソングライター＜Gregg Alexander＞の曲 3.Lemonade／レモネード 4.The Bomb／ザ・ボム　※Ice Cubeのカヴァー 5.Buddy Holly ／バディ・ホリー　※未発表別テイク 6.Chess／チェス 7.Longtime Sunshine　★／ロングタイム・サンシャイン 8.Blast Off!　 ★／ブラスト・オフ！ 9.Who You Callin’Bitch?　 ★／フー・ユー・コーリン・ビッチ？ 10.Wanda(You’re My Only Love)／ワンダ（ユー・アー・マイ・オンリー・ラヴ） 11.Dude We’re Finally Landing　★／デュード・ウィー・アー・ファイナリー・ランディング 12.Superfriend　★／スーパーフレンド 13.Lover In The Snow／ラヴァー・イン・ザ・ショー 14.Crazy One／クレイジー・ワン 15.This Is The Way／ディス・イズ・ザ・ウェイ 16.Little Diane／リトル・ディアン　※Dionのカヴァー 17.I Wish You Had An Axe Guitar／アイ・ウィッシュ・ユー・ハド・アン・アックス・ギター 18.I Was Made For You／アイ・ワズ・メイド・フォー・ユー

Of course, that all depends on if the google translation is accurate. It could be the list of theme ingredients on the next season of Iron Chef. It's a decent list. A few songs that the weezer community already has, but enough new stuff to make the disc interesting. Aah, who am I kidding? I'll buy it the day it comes out.

Turning turkey day into cow day

King Tom — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 05:41:50 +0000

Tomorrow, the Civee and I are planning on being in Columbus for Thanksgiving evening. Neither of us are fans of turkey, and I think we may be doing something different: steak for Thanksgiving. It's something I've always dreamed of doing. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Knee Deep In The Hoopla

King Tom — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 23:09:19 +0000

The other night, I was watching one of my favorite shows on the television, VH1 Classic's We are the 80s. The video for Starship's We Built This City came on, and while watching it, I noticed something disturbing.

And I don't mean the fact that I was watching the video for We Built This City.

Anyway, during the video, the band is playing the song for a group of diverse young people. As they play, lights flash and the band and audience are transported to various places in America, including, the Lincoln Memorial:

And we go to a close-up of Honest Abe's memorial:

And then, all of a sudden lights flash, Abe springs to life and starts to dance:

BUT WAIT!

Is it me, or does that look nothing like Lincoln?

Here's another look of the memorial come to life:

I don't know if it's just me, but that looks more like Robert E. Lee:

I've either uncovered a vast historical conspiracy, or aside from being reformed hippies, the members of Starship were Confederate sympathizers.

Make some other type of small talk, please

King Tom — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 23:49:05 +0000

At work, I'm responsible for dealing with a large piece of office equipment manufactured by a company that I won't name, but their company name begins and ends with the same letter. Anyway, when there's a problem with the machine, I call the company's (let's just call them Company X) support line. A little more than a year ago, Company X outsourced their support staff to somewhere in the Caribbean. I don't remember exactly where, although I was told once and I do remember that it's one of the places mentioned in the worst song ever. Anyway, it's pretty obvious that Company X's customer service reps are still working on conversational English. During lulls in the call (when they have to wait for their computers to pull up records or whatever) they will often engage in a line of small talk: -How are you? -How is the weather? Every time I call, they ask these questions. And not wanting to be rude, I engage them in conversation, and will often ask these very same questions back to them. Except the answer to question number two is always "Oh, sunny and in the 80s." Usually, I don't mind. But I had to call this week, and when my answer to that question is "cloudy and damn cold," the very last thing I want to hear back is "Oh, here, it's sunny and in the 80s." Someone should tell Company X to change the script.

The best thing ever (of last week)

King Tom — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:01:27 +0000

My new favorite wrestling gimmick:

il Cartographer!

The city that never stops talking about baseball

King Tom — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 01:19:05 +0000

I moved to Columbus from the NY-NJ area almost eight years ago. While I like Columbus, there are some things I miss about my native land, to wit:

Good Chinese food
Edible Pizza
Restaurants open past 10 p.m.
The Yankees
Year-round baseball coverage in the media

That last one has hit home over the past few weeks. Here in Columbus, people are abuzz about the local college football team, but my level of interest in college football is nil.

While the baseball playing season has been over for more than a month, plenty has happened, epecially for the Yankees. They let Joe Torre walk and hired Joe Girardi. Alex Rodriguez left the Yankees then came back. The talk over the last week has been about which team the Twins would trade Johan Santana to. And this week, team executives met in Nashville for the winter meetings.

But it's being ignored here.

Actually, Peter Abraham, a Yankees beat writer with an excellent blog, summed up the situation in NY last week:

Nobody talks football once the games are over. We know nothing much about 85 percent of the players and not even the best fan could name all of the GMs. But even a casual baseball fan can list four prospects his team could trade for Santana. Or has an opinion on A-Rod.

It must drive the NFL, NBA and NHL people nuts to flip on the radio at 4 p.m. on a late November day and hear nothing but talk about whether Minnesota will trade the lefty. But that is what makes our sport the best. It never goes out of season. They just stop the games for a few months.

Well, at least I have the Internet.

I've got a friend tonight

King Tom — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 03:57:09 +0000

"Alone" comes out next week. But Superfriend is here. Worth the wait? For a weezer fan, yes. It may not make much sense outside of Songs from the Black Hole , but when you consider it's all Rivers trying to sing two different parts and play the instruments to lay down a story and feel for his scrapped concept album, it's pretty impressive. It's nice to have these pieces (the ones that we already have and the ones that we'll get next week), but even with everything that Rivers has recorded, SFTBH was never really finished. Because of the band's reception of his ideas, the release of Return of the Rentals and his own experiences at Harvard, Rivers took what he could from SFTBH and made one of the best albums ever, Pinkerton. Sadly, the rest, like Superfriend got dropped. Some of his dropped demos from all eras of Weezer are real good. Some aren't. I'm just glad that Rivers (and the label) is now releasing Alone so that we finally get to hear what else there is. Clips of the rest of Alone are right here. Looks like someone got the tracklist right after all!

Clean-up on Aisle One

King Tom — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 00:21:41 +0000

Tonight, the Civee and I walked to the nearby Giant Eagle to get some things for tonight's dinner (turkey burgers). We were mostly done getting what we needed when I wanted to stop and get a bottle of Orangina (the best soft drink ever). I reached for a bottle, but it slipped out of my fingers and broke on the floor, spilling and shattering glass all over aisle 1. The Civee went to go tell the store staff of the spill (and broken glass) as I stood by, letting people know of the broken glass and liquid on the floor (and when people in a grocery store are on a cell phone, they really aren't paying attention to anything else). She came back, saying that the manager said they'll send someone. We agreed to stand there until someone showed up, figuring it was our responsibility to do so. The thing is, it took ten minutes for someone to show to clean it up. By this point, I had gone to the front to tell someone (as we thought they forgot about us). It was an ethical quandry for us--yes, the broken glass and spilled liquid was our responsibility, but how long were we supposed to wait there to let our fellow shoppers know to be careful? And by the way, I did apologize for my clumsiness. Instead of signing my name on the receipt, I wrote 'sorry 'bout the Orangina.'

It's an Illusion, Michael

King Tom — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 02:12:55 +0000

I was surprised to recently read that NBC is reviving Knight Rider as a made-for-tv movie, hopefully to be a stepping stone to a new TV series featuring a talking car.

For me, this is great news, as I was a huge fan of the show and one of my major complaints currently is that I can't find any re-runs of the show on cable.

They're making some changes to the show. KITT will be some type of Ford Mustang. The Hoff won't be the star, but rather, the show will be based on the adventures of Michael Knight's son. But the most surprising change is the voice of KITT, this man:

According to aintitcoolnews.com, Will Arnett will be the new voice of KITT. I'm a fan of Will Arnett. I think he's been great in Arrested Development, Blades of Steel and his appearances on Late Night. But it's just weird to think of him as KITT.

Then again, I've been wrong before about casting choices.

Rivers Cuomo, Alone

King Tom — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 04:11:25 +0000

I was in Borders yesterday and it took me forever to find a copy of Alone: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo. It wasn't under "C" for Cuomo, nor under "R" for Rivers. It wasn't in the new releases section. But I finally located it in the "W" section (for Weezer). I paid for it, left the building, and sat in my car for a few minutes with the CD in the player as I read the liner notes, and I was content. For those of you who don't know (and aren't frequent visitors to the Kingdom), Rivers is the lead singer and guitarist of Weezer. While the band has released five albums since 1994, Rivers has written hundreds of songs, many of which have only been heard by him and his bandmates. Beginning six years ago, Rivers (and weezer) gave the fans an unprecedented level of access to their music, with the band posting daily versions of songs in the running for their Maladroit album, and Rivers directly sharing some of his old demos with fans. Rivers (who has said he wants his music out there), got in some trouble from his record company, as they weren't too keen of him giving away music for free. Eventually, the record company agreed to release Rivers' demos and solo recordings, hence, Alone, which is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his music. Not only does Alone contain the songs, but Rivers wrote detailed liner notes about the songs and what was going on in his life at the time. As it is, Alone is a collection of songs from throughout Weezer's history, containing versions of released material and concepts that never went beyond the rehearsal studio. Some of the songs have flaws and other dropoffs in quality, but that doesn't detract from the experience. The songs are all over the map, from covers to an early, slow version of one of Weezer's biggest hits, Buddy Holly. Some of the highlights from the CD: -Lemonade: an early track, with music by Weezer's drummer, Pat Wilson. Has a lot of energy. -Buddy Holly: a better quality version of a demo that's been out there for a few years. The liner notes contain an interesting story about the song's original chorus involving Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. -Blast Off!, Who You Callin' Bitch: These two songs are the first of four tracks from the mythical, long-abandoned Songs From The Black Hole project. Very nice to have a clean version of Blast Off!, which transitions right into the rocking Who You Callin' Bitch. -Dude We're Finally Landing: Another part of SFTBH. Kind of like a barbershop quartet set in space. -Superfriend: One of the most eagerly-anticipated tracks among Weezer fans. It wouldn't be a smash single, but it's a damn fine song. -Lover In The Snow: Written about a year after the release of Pinkerton, I always thought this song had a lot of that same emotion, but was more hidden. Rivers pretty much writes the same thing, saying he was trying to be more anonymous in terms of emotion, but the song is still sweeping. -Crazy One: A song from the mysterious hiatus era of 1997-1999, and one of the last written before Rivers' self-imposed hermit stage. A nice song, with a heavy story behind it. I didn't realize how simple the song was until I read the lyrics. -This is the Way: Rivers' attempt at R&B/boy band style stuff. It didn't make the upcoming sixth album. The recordings are often sparse and simple, but Rivers plays his heart out. The styles of the songs are all over the place. As a Weezer fan, it's great to have Alone (and would be even if the Songs From The Black Hole tracks weren't included). And if you're not a Weezer fan, it's still a good sample of the type of music the band puts out and has some entertaining stories, too. If you need another reason to buy a copy, here's one: the better this does, the more likely future demo albums will be released, which would make me happy.

Ooh-wee-ooh I look just like Conan O'Brien

King Tom — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 23:10:52 +0000

Or should I say, he looks like me.

Last August, I went to Canada for a week. When I came back, I had a beard. Which I still have to this day:

Okay, this picture was actually taken last week, but you get the idea.

So this morning, I fire up the DVR and start to watch the first new episode of Late Night With Conan O'Brien in a few months. Conan's been away, on hiatus since the WGA strike started in November. I was quite surprised to see Conan O'Copycat's new look:

It actually looks good with him. He looks somewhat rugged. While, in the picture up above, I look bloated. So score one for Conan. But just remember the first tall, gangly, somewhat pale guy to start the beard thing. That's right, Abraham Lincoln:

The Hulkster's New Job

King Tom — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 03:55:47 +0000

Last night, as mostly everyone else in Columbus was watching something else, The Civee and I were watching the new American Gladiators, hosted by Hulk Hogan. Overall, it was an interesting show. Hogan needs to learn some new metaphors and lighten up on the use of superlatives, but was very entertaining as the host and main interviewer. In fact, I would have liked to have heard more from Hogan instead of having him interview the contestants before and after each event. My biggest complaint about the show was the disembodied voice of the play-by-play announcer. If they're not going to have the Hulkster do play-by-play, they should bring back Mike Adamley and Larry Czonka from Gladiators classic, because the eerie unseen announcer is just horrible. The new generation of gladiators is pretty much what you'd expect--bodybuilders with muscles growing out of their muscles. The show might be a bit more entertaining if, instead of having the contestants compete against the gladiators, you had contestants compete against out-of-work wrestlers. Joe the accountant should joust against Brutus the Barber Beefcake. And Ed the dog catcher should run the gauntlet against Tito Santana, the Honky Tonk Man and King Kong Bundy. Now that would pop some ratings. The most impressive thing about last night's show though was the women. I don't mean the gladiators, but the actual contestants. When it came down to the eliminator, both men took more than three minutes to complete it, taking up a lot of time on the reverse treadmill. But the women put them to shame, with the winner taking off running and not stopping and even the loser beating the time of both men. But still, the show needs more Hogan. And if this were a wrestling show, you wouldn't be hearing me say that.

Another one jumps the shark

King Tom — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 15:18:49 +0000

My one-time favorite cable channel is now, for the most part useless to me. Whenever nothing else was going on, I could always turn VH1 Classic on in the background and listen/watch as they played video-centered shows all day long. But that's gradually been changing. They cancelled/disappeared their request show, started playing This Is Spinal Tap 108 times a month and then devoted a show to interviews from 60 Minutes. But then last night, while checking out their program schedule, in the hopes that they'd gone back to their roots for one night, I was astonished to see that after playing Spinal Tap, their feature movie for the night was Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters is one of the greatest movies of all time. But it has no connection to the world of music. Unless you count Huey Lewis suing Ray Parker Jr. for ripping off 'I Want a New Drug.' So now, it looks like if I want to watch bad music videos, I have to tune into VH1 Classic in the middle of the night. Or not go to work.

Let's Roll

King Tom — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 15:28:30 +0000

Yesterday, for the first time in years, I went bowling. It was the Civee's idea for something to do on a cold and dreary day (which we've been having a lot of lately). We had fun (and it would have been fun for me even if I hadn't won both games). But I don't know how this is possible--I'm out of bowling shape. I never would have thought the act of rolling a 12-pound sphere down a 60-foot lane would seem weird to me, but when I got up there, I didn't know what to do. I used to bowl every week in high school, and kept it up in college, but the last time I'd gone was probably three years ago. Not only was my form way off, but I'm sore today. I think I have to bowl more often. Then maybe I wouldn't have trouble cracking 100 like I did yesterday.

It begins again

King Tom — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 03:41:05 +0000

Over the past few weeks, ABC has released specially-produced LOST clips, or Missing Pieces, to maintain excitement about the show, despite the most unreasonable hiatus in TV history. The clips have shown parts of the series storyline that, to this point, have remained unexplored.

With Season Four of Lost starting this Thursday, today's release was the last of the series. And it's pretty damn good. Don't worry- there aren't any spoilers about the new season. Linkage courtesy of DarkUFO:

Thursday can't get here fast enough.

T-Minus One Day and Counting

King Tom — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:34:38 +0000

The long-awaited season four premiere of Lost is tomorrow. Naturally, the King is excited. Lately, I've been doing a lot of reading about the show- not so much spoilers, but there's been a lot of press about the show itself. Partly because the season three finale left everyone wanting more, partly because of the writers strike and partly because ABC is marketing the show smartly for once. My point is, there's been a lot written lately about Lost. And one particular blog entry has addressed a long-standing pet peeve of mine. Alan Sepinwall, TV critic for the Star-Ledger writes about a Q-n-A session with Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof:

QUESTION: Question for the producers and I guess maybe for Matthew [Fox]. I'm wondering why whenever Jack is placed in a position where he can ask things of The Others, he always asks such terrible questions? I mean asking Juliet what she and Ben talked about doesn't seem that useful either to him or to us. DAMON LINDELOF: Since Matthew is not responsible for what Jack says, he has to unfortunately in some cases execute our best version of it. As writers, the questions that the characters are asking on the show is always a slippery slope. We find ourselves saying, "We'd be asking much better questions, too." Unfortunately, if Jack asked the questions that we wanted him to, The Others would answer none of them. So you would just have him asking a string of questions with Michael [Emerson] sort of looking back at him stoically, which probably would not be that interesting to watch. He asks the questions that at least he has an opportunity of getting an answer out of them.

That was precisely the issue that bothered me most about the first three-quarters of last season. Too many Lostie and Other moments with zero questioning or information sharing. I understand what Damon's saying- that Ben wouldn't tell Jack anything. But even if they had set that up early on, with Ben telling Jack that he's not going to answer his questions, that would have helped a lot. And one other thing--I watched the re-run of last year's season finale and realized something. I wasn't a fan of the 'how Jack got his tatoos' episode. But in a way, that flashback set up the premise of the season finale. Because we were shown that Jack went to Thailand and didn't have a good time, the opening shot of a dissheveled Jack on an airplane seemed plausible. And therefore, made (me at least think) it possible that the rest of the episode's flash----s were after the Jack in Thailand episode. Oh well, enough talk about the past. The future is tomorrow.

Forcing a Case of Mistaken Identity

King Tom — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:27:19 +0000

This afternoon, I was waiting for a table at the usual location of the Thursday hour of me. A gentleman came up to me and the conversation went something like this:

Older Gentleman: Mike? Me: Excuse me? Older Gentleman: You're Mike, right? Me: No. Older Gentleman: Oh wait, no, not Mike, Morgan...? Me: No, that's not me either. (Invisible thought balloon above my head: Not even close. Do I look like a Morgan? Or Mike Morgan?) Older Gentleman: You don't work at the hospital? Me: No, I don't. (Still wondering how he got me confused with someone named Morgan). Older Gentleman: (clearly dejected) I'm sorry. I thought you were a friend of a friend. Works at a hospital.

Usually, I don't mind it when someone mistakes me for someone else. And sometimes I feel bad for letting them down. For instance, if someone thinks I'm their long lost friend who they haven't seen in a long time, and I'm not that person, I feel bad for them. But it just gets a little weird when someone is insistent that you are someone you are clearly not. Like they're trying to shoehorn you into an identity and pulling out every link they can to get you to be who they want you to be. It's happened to me a few times, the most notable of which wasn't actually that bad. About 10 years ago, I was in a bar/restaurant in Jersey when a group of drunk guys came up to me, asking me if I was Mats Sundin. They were extremely insistent that I was, to the point where I had to tell them I was just to get them to go away. I then turned to one of my associates and asked "who the hell is Matt's son Dean"?

Meanwhile, Back on the Island

King Tom — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:35:47 +0000

After eight months, Lost is back and the King is content. My mind is still buzzing from this episode (not to mention the drink or two I had with dinner prior to the clip show) and that's a good thing. Tonight's episode of Lost, The Beginning of the End brought multiple storylines together, advanced the occurences on the Island and went back to the future to show us the reprecussions of the choices made during tonight's events. The only thing The Beginning of the End didn't do was answer questions about the mythology of the show, which I didn't mind too much because of (a) my state of mind and (b) the fact that Lost is back on the air. A few random thoughts: -Has there ever been a show with more clip episodes than Lost? The Simpsons had a fair amount in their early seasons (seasons 1-7), but even those were interwoven with original storylines, instead of eating up network time before a new episode. -Even thought it was totally unnecessary, I've never been so happy to hear "Previously, on Lost" as I was at 9:00 tonight. -Knowing what happens thanks to the flash-forwards, I shouldn't be happy that rescue is on the way, but I feel a sense of relief for Jack et. al that the boat people are on their way. But this will quickly change by the en of the episode. -Even though he's tied up and Rousseau's laying the smackdown on him, Ben gives the appearance of someone who's totally in charge. One of many reasons I'm beginning to see him as the strongest character on the show. -I like Charlie a lot better now that he's dead. -Nice callback to the first episode with the meet-up at the cockpit of the plane. Only thing- I thought this was in the monster's backyard. I'm surprised we didn't get a visit from ol' smokey. -I can't believe that Jack really would have shot Locke. Could it be that Locke actually outsmarted Jack by unloading the gun? In the previous episode, while lying in the Dharma ditch, Locke checked the chamber of the gun and it was full of bullets, one of which he used to shoot at the phone while Jack was going for it. Yet tonight, the gun was not loaded, meaning Locke knew something fishy would go down. -In the flash-forward (and I am glad those are part of the convention of the show now), if Hurley said he shoud hav gone with Jack, instead of Locke, why did he say "[it] wants us to go back"? Shouldn't this mean that Locke was right? Knowing everything we know to this point, if given the choice, I'd be signing up for team Locke. -At this point, I'm not even going to try and attempt to determine the meaning of the whole Jacob's cabin scene. -One final thought: Jack: "I'm thinking of growing a beard." Join the club of King Tom imitators, my friend.

The path is clear

King Tom — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:49:58 +0000

I have to admit, I watched part of the Super Bowl last night.

The Civee and I caught the last 10-15 minutes, but that was mostly because we were waiting for the new episode of House to start. As you may have guessed, the King is not a football fan.

But I suppose as people who aren't practicing the religion in which they were raised say "oh, I was raised a Jedi," I could say I was raised a Giants fan, so it was nice to see them come back and win. Even for a non football fan such as myself, it was an exciting few minutes, and I'm happy for those back home who are still celebrating the Giants win.

Now that that's all over with, pitchers and catchers report in 10 days. Winter is almost over.

Boat People Wielding The Sledgehammer of Exposition

King Tom — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:45:07 +0000

I don't know about you, but for me, this episode of Lost didn't get going until about a half-way through... ..but once it got going, "Confirmed Dead" played out to be a solid episode. I thought while short on answers, this episode had a nice amount of set-ups and reveals. But there was too much "oh, let's go over here, meet this person, then go over here." Although, in the big picture, I guess it's nice they did this all in one episode rather than spread out over three or four. I don't know what to think of the boat people. I like Lapidus (the pilot), mostly because I thought it was a cool reveal that he was supposed to be the original pilot of flight 815. And Miles (the psycho ghostbuster) is cool, because he's clearly mentally unstable and he lives in an alternate future where the Ghostbusters movies did happen (Venkman: "The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams"). But as for the jittery physicist and the English bird, I don't know. One cried and the other found a DHARMA polar bear in a desert. I'm much more interested in how and why the polar bear was in the desert than either of their stories. Still, with Charlotte finding the polar bear and Lapidus' connection to flight 815, all four of them are together for a reason. The last flashback, with Naomi and Abbadon (the scary guy from last week) shed some light on something, but I don't know what. I'm guessing that they didn't tell the team everything. Naomi knew that there were people on the island who weren't "natives" (Desmond), but Lapidus clearly didn't. My theory? Ben's people/the Others planted the fake plane because they don't want people looking for the island. Mr. Widmore (Penny's father) knows Penny is looking for the island, hijacked her findings and hired Abbadon to a) wipe out Desmond and b) kill Ben, because there's some connection between Ben and Widmore (or whoever's behind Abbadon). They probably know about the Others' gas attack on DHARMA (hence the gasmasks), but I'm not convinced they are DHARMA, because then everything else would have a logo on it. Anyway, enough random theories. Other thoughts about tonight: Yeah, Jack pressed Daniel and Miles about why they were there. But barely. He could have brought up Penny Widmore or something. You think he would have asked a bit more. I was surprised that Hurley and Sawyer were questioning Locke as much as they were. If there was someone who knew when every single rainfall would end, I wouldn't ask him if he knew if we were going in the right direction. I was impressed, however, that Locke actually shared information (namely, that he was shot) and glad to see that the missing kidney connection was actually mentioned. I was very surprised that Jack was right when he said that his people had their guns pointed at Miles. Must have been the first time in four years that Jack was right about something. Like I said earlier, I thought it was really cool that Lapidus was supposed to be the original pilot. I also thought that when he reached the top of that hill, he broke his leg. One final thought: Ben is the puppet master. With everyone on his strings.

Remembering That Special Day

King Tom — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 22:43:35 +0000

Happy International Weezer Day!

Unlike the last few years, there's actually some Weezer action to look forward to this year. And of course, I'll blog about it once it happens.

A few years back, I wrote an article for the Morning Toast about Weezer fans. It isn't there anymore, so I'm re-posting it here, after the jump:

“Why are Weezer considered a band for nerds?....If anyone can explain Weezer’s reign over the nerds, I’d appreciate it.”

Thanks to my broken ankle, I’ve had a lot of time to think about things like this. And Jen, considering that you’ve seen me in action at a Star Wars convention and opening night of Episode 3, it shouldn’t surprise you that I’m a Weezer fan. While I wouldn’t say that Weezer is a band that appeals exclusively to nerds, it is an interesting question.

I wouldn’t classify Weezer as “nerd rock” or “geek rock.” And there are certainly more intellectual rockers out there (Ted Leo blows anyone else out of the water). But I think the answer to the relationship ca be found in something someone told me about nine years ago; “Weezer fans are the nicest people.”

I don’t remember the name of the person who told this to me, but I took it as a compliment- even though there are some people getting roughed up in the pit at Weezer shows. For the most part, Weezer fans just want to enjoy the rock. The band’s sound somewhat heavy, but melodic and their songs have meaning. Consider the following:

In the Garage: A song about enjoying role playing games, comic books and being alone in the garage. Buddy Holly: A song about platonic friendships. Pinkerton: An album themed after the opera Madame Butterfly Beverly Hills: A song where the singer admits that he doesn’t fit into the “cool world” and that being okay. Hash Pipe: A song about transsexual prostitution.

Well, most of their songs are about nice, innocent subjects.

In addition to the songs, the band also has an interesting personality. Maybe the band consciously added to this image. Two of their early t-shirts included phrases like “If it’s too loud, turn it down” and “drink your milk and do your homework.”

Overall, they’re a bunch of goofy guys, with some serious nerd cred. Yeah, it’s common knowledge what Rivers attends Harvard. He gives off an intellectual vibe. And while in interviews, he sounds like an overly-shy weirdo, but in real conversation, he sounds like a regular guy. But he doesn’t like the rockstar life- and when the band first made it big, he wrote a series of essays for Details about being uncomfortable with the whole “rockstar” thing.

The only band member who probably wouldn’t be accused of being a nerd is the bassist, Scott. And that’s only because he used to be the bassist for Vanilla Ice during Ice’s gangsta-rap phase.

With all this in mind, I can see why you’d think Weezer automatically appeals to the nerds. But I don’t think they’re a nerd-only band.

They’re just a bunch of nice guys who make good music. For nice people.

Double-O Sayid

King Tom — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 03:51:14 +0000

The last scene of tonight's Lost blew my mind. I was thinking that maybe Sayid the secret agent worked for the scary black dude. Or Mr. Widmore. But no. He works for secret surgeon/veternarian Ben. In about a two-minute scene, this show threw a whole load of new questions right out there to go along with all of the mysteries around that show. To wit: -How (other than 'by thinking with his heart instead of his gun') did Ben get Sayid to do his bidding? -Is Ben off the island for good, or can ge go back and forth at will? -What does killing people have to do with saving Sayid's friends? -Is Ben behind the Oceanic Six getting off the island? -Can this lend any weight to Ben's assertion that he is, in fact, one of the "good guys"? And those are just from the last two minutes. Other thoughts from this week: -The Civee said this week's flashforwards reminded her of the Bourne movies, and I can't say I disagree. There was an undercurrent of secrecy in all of Sayid's off-island scenes, and the shooting scenes (with the guy at the golf course and the girl at the end) definitely echoed Bourne-style action. But I'm just glad they weren't shot in that too-tight, no-clip-longer-than-three seconds style those movies rely on. -I thought Sayid's girl, Elsa, was a bit of a two-face. By the way, was she wearing the same bracelet as Naomi? -Last week, I said I liked the pilot guy. Now, after his "I bleed Yankee blue" line, he gets the support of King Tom. I hope they don't pull a Paulo and Nikki on him anytime soon. -I didn't think Hurley was acting. I thought after his misplay of the cabin situation, that Locke's group left him, which would have made sense with Hurley in the closet. I was impressed that he could turn heel on Sayid and Kate like that. By the way, Hugo had two great lines this week, with "the boat sent us another Sawyer," and the one about Sayid killing someone with break-dance moves. -Speaking of the other Sawyer, I'm not surprised Sayid traded Miles for the English bird. And I'm not surprised of Lapidus' reaction. I don't think Miles is totally a "second Sawyer." Yeah, he has the sarcasm, but (and this could be because we don't totally know Miles yet), Sawyer has a soft side. -Speaking of original recipe Sawyer, I think Ben's little speech got to him, where now he wants to stay on the island. Sawyer realized that on the island, he's Han Solo. Off the island, he's Greedo. -(Even before the end scene) I was thrown off by Ben's secret room. Clothes, loads of old money and a few passports. Maybe he doesn't spend as much time on the island as he says. -Was it me, or before the big reveal at the end, did they add the Darth Vader effect to Ben's voice?

The Taste of Bauer

King Tom — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 20:57:08 +0000

Those wacky Brits will drink anything. From remote.lohudblogs.com:

if you travel to Britain, you can buy “24 CTU,” “a new citrus-flavored stimulation drink brand,” according to this report. It’s from Cott Corp., “one of the world’s largest non-alcoholic beverage companies” offers the drink in both regular and diet, natch.

When I think 24, I really don't think citrus flavoring. Maybe something more along the lines of Dr. Pepper with a touch of gunpowder. And what's with the diet version of the drink? The last thing Jack Bauer needs is a drink with fewer calories and less sugar. While I'm on the topic of 24, I read recently that the next season probably won't air until January aught-nine. And at this point, I can't really say that I care too much about that one way or the other. I was really disappointed with last season, and while I'd like to see the show return to its former glory, I don't really expect that to happen. I think that in the past few seasons, the show killed off too many fan-favorite characters, non-fan-favorite presidents and introduced way too many plot twists at the expense of future seasons. Even some things done storywise last year felt like they were re-hashes of previous years. And it's hard to imagine them coming up with anything new. Another reason I don't think the show will return to its former levels of awesomeness is recent departure of co-creator Joel Surnow. I don't know too much about what goes on behind the scenes of the show, but when you have one of the people responsible for the show's early success leaving, that doesn't seem like it could be a good thing. Oh well, at least we have memories of Jack's awesomeness.

A New Story of a Man and His Car

King Tom — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:58:56 +0000

In the past few years, there has been a trend within popular culture to revisit the past. To be honest, the trend has always been around, but it's taken on a sense of urgency to the point where re-made versions of TV shows and movies have been shoved down the throats of viewing audiences with a limited amount of respect to the source material. Last night, I caught the latest in the parade of re-makes, NBC's updated version of Knight Rider. Considering the fairly predictable plot and inconsistencies with the original version, the show was actually watchable. My biggest problem with the show was the voice of KITT. I was expecting to hear Will Arnett, which I had originally thought was a bad casting choice, but actually warmed up to. However, because of a non-complete clause, Arnett was replaced by Chris Knight himself, Val Kilmer. I didn't think Kilmer was a bad choice, but at times, his voice had zero personality. My other main problem was a scene which showed an instance in which the original KITT as superior to the new version. In last night's movie, the bad guys hack into KITT, leading to the computer's deactivation so Mike Traceur (pronounced Tracer, son of Michael Knight) can catch up to them using the car. Well, new KITT is not indestructible because the computer controls self-repairing nanotechnology, which means when the computer's off, KITT can get scratched. Original recipe KITT had some type of molecular bonding which didn't need a computer. Still, the nanobots in new KITT can also change the color of the paint, which is a good feature. Despite my complaints, the show contained a decent serving of car chases and action. And the picture quality looked great--even more than usual fare on HD. Seems like NBC is going to make this into a series for next season. As long as it isn't up against Lost, I may watch.

The Store Where People Buy Nothing

King Tom — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 23:15:28 +0000

So the Sharper Image is declaring bankruptcy. As part of the reorganization, the company plans to close 90 of its mall-based stores (About half the SI retail outlets in the U.S.), I've been in their stores in various malls many times. But I don't think I've ever bought anything from them. Regardless of how cool it might be to own the life-size Darth Vader costume, the R2-D2 that really works or the Trump Steaks, I never really wanted to spend my hard-earned money there. Apparentley, I wasn't the only one who felt this way. One of my most memorable "shopping" experiences happened in a Sharper Image, probably about 10 years ago. I was hanging out with my brother Pete, who, at the time was about 12. We stopped in to the store and started browsing. They had two of those massaging chairs set up and I sat in one. I have to admit, it was quite comfortable. I told Pete that he had to try it out, so he sat in the other one. As soon as he did, some salesman in his mid-30s came over and said to Pete, "Excuse me, sir, but you have to be 18 to use the massaging chairs." I laughed so hard (especially because of the emphasis the guy put on the "sir") that I almost fell out of the chair. Well now, lil' Petey is old enough to try the chair. Too bad SI is closing all those stores.

Lost Lays an Egg[town]

King Tom — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:38:05 +0000

Compared to the utter awesomeness of the first three episodes of Lost Season Four, episode four, a.k.a. Eggtown, was merely pedestrian. That's not to say it didn't have its moments. But the person who the story was centered around is, in my opinion, the least interesting character on Lost. I think Lost has some great characters with great storylines. But for some reason Kate, and her storylines and relationships, just bores me. Even though I wasn't floored as I was during some of this season's previous episodes, there were some eye-opening scenes tonight, the least of which was the first shot of the episode. The episode opened with Locke, laying on a couch, waking up. For a moment, I thought the episode was going to be Locke-centric (forgetting he was currently living in Ben's old house). It was an interesting take on the typical flash-eye-open the show has done before. Except for the scene where he took out his frustrations on a plate of eggs and melon, I liked Locke tonight. Especially when he brought "breakfast" to Miles. Locke's scenes were interesting. I'm intrigued by Miles and his extorting (or blackmailing) of Ben. I want to see where this whole thing with the missing chopper is going. But Kate and Sawyer? Kate and her mother? Kate and Jack? Meh. Okay, the whole twist at the end, with Kate and "Aaron" is somewhat interesting. And if it's Claire's Aaron, it'll throw a monkeywrench into the whole "this child cannot be raised by another" prophesy. But overall, the only thing I got out of Kate's flashforwards was in Jack's testimony, where he gave a brief outline of the lie that the Oceanic Six are telling the public. As far as I can tell, the plane crashed in the water, eight (Kate, Jack, Hurley, Sayid and four others) survived on a deserted island with no food and two of those eight died before being rescued. And they're celebrities now, but forced to live a lie. To me, that's interesting, and at least this episode served up that answer. A few other random observations: -Isn't it supposed to be Christmas on the island sometime soon? -I'm disappointed we didn't get to see dinner at Locke's. (And I almost expected a Twilight Zone-style twist with Locke cooking up Ben for dinner). -I'd watch a half-hour sitcom centered around the adventures of roomates Hugo and James. -Sawyer's line about Kate going back and forth between him and Jack was dead on. -Xanadu is one of the worst movies ever. -Kate's lawyer looked familiar. He was played by the actor who played Ronnie Lobell, Jack Bauer's replacement at CTU, who didn't "stop [Jack] cold." Your thoughts?

An Eggtown Addendum

King Tom — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 03:25:38 +0000

After looking at my review of last night's episode of Lost, Eggtown, I'm disappointed in my writing. I should have worked in the phrase: "Locke is the Eggman, goo goo ga joob."

Bye-Bye Beardo

King Tom — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 06:01:19 +0000

The beard that I started six months ago in Canada is gone. It was fun, but it just got annoying. I was at work the other day, rubbing the side of my face and I thought to myself "I want my face back." So last night, I ditched the beard. It was fun, and I might go back to it at some time in the future. But for now, I'll be beard-free for the forseeable future. Of course, this means I have to go through the drudgery of shaving on a regular basis, one of the reasons that I grew the thing to begin with.

A Culinary Tip From The King

King Tom — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:58:19 +0000

Tonight, I was making salmon for dinner. The recipe called for some white wine. We didn't have any. After searching the fridge, I found half a bottle of Boone's Farm Apple Blossom wine (the Civee enjoys wine coolers every now and then). Rather than being a "white" wine, the Boone's was a shade of green. But it had many of the other critical elements of the wine ingredient, so I used it. And the salmon was pretty tasty, with a hint of sweet apple. So take it from the King- you can substitute Boone's for normal wine. But if you're not in college, you may have a tough time explaning what the bottle of Boone's is doing in your fridge.

The Great One Gets Called Out

King Tom — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 03:15:09 +0000

In a recent interview, current wrestling star John Cena blasts the Great One:

"At one point Rock loved wrestling and wanted to do this all his life. So explain to me why he can't come back. Simply put it's because he wants to be an actor and there's nothing wrong with that. "He's very good and very successful. Associating with sports entertainment doesn't do much for his acting career — I get it. Just don't f*** me around and tell me that you love this. That's the only thing that gets me really p***ed off. -from The Sun

I have to say I actually agree with Cena here. I'm a huge fan of the Rock--the man came from nowhere and carried the WWF on his back for two years as injuries, egomaniacal wrestlers and poorly executed storylines made most of the rest of what the fed was putting on the air unwatchable. The Rock could bring it both in the ring and on the microphone. He certainly has the skills and charisma to be an action hero. And he's had a much better film career than Hulk Hogan. But has he reallly become the big star that he wants to be? It's been tough for wrestling, but the past few years have shown that the WWF/E can survive without The Rock or Stone Cold. But can The Rock really survive without wrestling? Possibly. But it wouldn't be as entertaining for the audience.

Lost: The Constant[ly Confusing Best Show Ever]

King Tom — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 03:38:12 +0000

Wow. I don't understand what happened on tonight's episode of Lost (The Constant), but whatever it was was freakin' incredible. Take your normal island mysteries, a hint of good vs. evil, a flashback that answers a question or two about a main character and a romance that's enough to turn the King into a regular softie and you have one awesome episode of Lost. I took physics in college. I did okay in it. That said, I didn't understand a bit of anything going on with the space-time continuum tonight. My understanding of time travel comes from the Back to the Future series and the few times on Star Trek when they'd take a slingshot around the sun to go back in time. But like the last episode of Lost that dealt with time travel, last season's Flashes Before Your Eyes, time travel is anything but typical in the Lost universe. And that's fine. The island has some special radioactive, magnetic properties. It may even exist in another dimenson. Whatever the answer, we didn't get one tonight (or if we did, it was when Faraday was talking and I didn't understand him). But we saw it in action. We saw it tie together the past with the present to have an effect on the future. Desmond has been chosen by someone or something. Call it fate, call it Jacob, whatever. He's played this role which has turned his life upside down and given it meaning. Forces in his life (Mr. Widmore, Ms. Hawking) have manipulated his life, and possibly other events in the world. But now, he's on his way back home. To Penny. I think it's safe to say that Desmond and Penny have a happy ending. And I wouldn't be surprised if after they reunite, their part in the Lost story is over. Why would they need to go back to the island? Of course, I could be wrong. It could be that I'm a sucker for the Desmond and Penny story. But I do think that Mr. Widmore is more important to the story than he seems. Especially, you know, with him buying the journal of the first mate of the Black Rock, which was owned by the Hanso family. Maybe that's why he goes looking for the island. I think a lot of signs in the episode pointed to him being the one that hired the boat (And Abbadon, who by proxy, hired Naomi). My other question about him- why did he leave the water running? Is he just the kind of arrogant prick who thinks he's too good to turn the water off? Or did he know Desmond was going to flash out and the water would wake him up? Some other thoughts: -Whoever did the casting for this show did a great job. All of the people on the boat give off a shady vibe. None of them seem trustworthy at all. -Is it safe to assume that tonight was why Desmond got kicked out of the army? -Faraday at Oxford was a trip. At first, he gave off a vibe similar to a skinny, weak version of mid-80s "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Maybe it was just his hair. -Present-day Faraday should have told Desmond "And while you're visiting me at Oxford, try and remember some lottery numbers." -Are they able to replicate the effects of the island off-island? (In Faraday's little experiment?) -Does Faraday go crazy in the future, has it already happened, or is it why he's acting so freaky now? -We saw some signs of Ben's dude on the boat. I have a feeling he's someone we've seen before, but not yet this season. -This show has had some fan-freaking-tastic episode endings. The Locke reveal. The light coming on in the hatch. The Lostie-Tailie reunion. "A man named Henry Gale." "We have to go back." "But they know I'm after them now." And I know there are a few others I'm leaving out. Most of these endings are great not only because of the reveals, but because of the way they're used in relation to the rest of the episode and the series as a whole. I think, especially due to the emotional weight of the Desmond/Penny relationship, that tonight's episode ranks right up there with the rest of them. What do you think?

It Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means

King Tom — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 22:38:45 +0000

When I used to work writing for a cable news channel Web site, one of the more interesting parts of my job was writing headlines for news stories. It was one of the areas where I was allowed to get creative. I figured if a headline entertained me, or made me think, people would be more likely to click and read the story. I would have killed to have this story, from the Washington Post, with what has to be the best.headline.ever:

Skywalkers In Korea Cross Han Solo

update/edit: I'm an idiot. I didn't notice that this was from last year. But I still think it's funny.

The Leg That Launched A Thousand Pitches

King Tom — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:12:24 +0000

Former Yankees hurler Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez, who has one of the most distinct wind-up/deliveries in baseball today, will have to drastically alter his wind-up for medical reasons. According to the New York Post:

Hernandez has multiple problems with his right foot, notably a bunion issue that causes significant pain on his instep near his big toe. When he brings his right knee toward his face in his standard delivery, Hernandez is forced to take his heel off the ground, which places greater strain on the instep and toe areas. So Hernandez needs to modify his delivery to allow him to keep his heel flat as a way to alleviate pain.

Watching him pitch for the Yankees from 1998-2001 and again in aught-four, I always thought he'd develop hip issues from his delivery. But this is a real shame. It seems like today, 90% of pitchers have the same kind of wind-up/delivery. Hernandez wasn't a power pitcher, and helped use his delivery to deceive opposing batters, something that helps when the eephus is in your repertiore.

Back in '98, Hernandez was a sort of folk hero for the Yankees. Escaping from Cuba (regardless of the details of the story), this guy with a different delivery helped the Yankees win championships. His delivery was the even the subject of a commercial (the true stars of which are King Tom favorites David Cone and Luis Sojo):

Actually, there were quite a few of these commercials for the Yankees that summer. Possibly the most awesome of which starred George Steinbrenner (who chose not to use a body-double):

Body Suit Man must have had the day off.

Ben Linus is One Scary Person

King Tom — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 03:26:10 +0000

From the very beginning of tonight's episode of Lost, The Other Woman, one thought was in my head: J-Dog was right. A few weeks back, in an e-mail exchange, J-Dog said that anytime it rains on this show, something bad happens. And I wouldn't exactly call Juliet's encounter in the rain at the beginning of tonight's episode a good thing. The Other Woman didn't have it easy. It had to follow up an excellent episode and advance the story. While emotionally and story-wise tonight's episode didn't measure up to The Constant, it was satisfying in one respect: It gave an answer. We know who hired the boat people. We can kind of put togther why. And this gives the whole series plotline a nice bookend: a struggle for the island featuring Ben vs. Charles Widmore, with the Losties in the middle. Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it? Also nice tonight was seeing the Others. Not so much the in their pre-crash, J. Crew-wearing imitation of surburbia. But rather the whole whispers in the jungle, doesn't leave tracks scary people we haven't seen since early season 2. They lost a little of their mystique when they stopped sneaking up on the losties. And while I wouldn't want to say that they gained it back, it was nice to see them resorting to their old ways. Unless the woman Juliet was talking to in the jungle was really the smoke monster. But in that case, all bets are off. One thing's for certain- and I've said this a few weeks running now, but Ben is in control. The one time this episode when it looked like Ben lost control ("YOU'RE MINE!") was absolutely scary. But even after that mini emotional outburst, he quickly regained his composure. I'm still wondering if he only told Locke what he did because he expected the gas to be released and everyone to die. But from his encounter with the Otherville horseshoe team, it didn't look like it. I suspect the English bird is lying. I still can't stand her and think Juliet should have shot her. Some other random thoughts: Line of the night comes from Ben; "That rabbit didn't have a number on it, did it?" I guess Ben is territorial about who gets to kill bunnies on the island. I was psyched we got to see another DHARMA station. The Tempest, the island power station, has a nice ocean view. But what kind of power station also makes poison gas? There really needs to be a Hugo and James as wacky roomates spinoff sitcom. If you think about it, it's obvious who Ben's man on the boat is.

What'samatter Babe Are Ya Feelin' Sick?

King Tom — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 17:40:54 +0000

For the past few days, the Civee and I have been under the weather in more ways than one. Beginning Friday, central Ohio was hit by a storm which dropped anywhere from 13 to 20 inches of snow on the area. As if the white death wasn't enough, we've been sick. The Civee has a nasty cough and a lot of congestion. I had a fever which hit 101.9 and has left me dizzy and disoriented (even more disoriented than usual). Because the rest of my family lives everywhere but Columbus, they've been calling throughout the past few days to check on how we've been dealing with the snow. When I inform them of our illness, they've all passed along advice. Different advice. My father advised taking a lot of vitamin C. My mother said we should drink hot tea and soup. But my grandmother had the most interesting advice. She said to take a quarter cup of vinegar, a quarter cup of honey, mix it together and drink a tablespoon of it every six hours. I asked her if this was something she would try and she said yes, and the vinegar is important because it's supposed to kill the germs in your throat. I haven't tried it. But I did think; wouldn't drinking a can/bottle of beer every hour (or more frequently, depending on the illness) do the same thing?

King Tom of the Airwaves

King Tom — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 02:34:19 +0000

The King was on television this morning. Well, it wasn't the first time I've been on TV, but it was pretty neat to have someone come up to me and say "hey, I saw you on TV!" The story begins yesterday, after the Civee and I got home from work, I was shoveling some remaining snow and slush out from in front of our car. There was a cameraman from the local NBC affiliate (competitor of the station that was stepsibling to the cable news channel I used to work for) shooting tape of the quickly-melting snow on the streets. The Civee and I DVRed that night's 11:00 news broadcast to see if they included the video. They didn't. So I didn't think about it until this morning. I walked into the building I work in, and a co-worker, who was crossing the lobby shouted out to me "TOM! YOU WERE ON TV!" A few other co-workers mentioned that they saw me too on the morning nes broadcast. And from what I gather, while no one was paying attention to the content of the news broadcast at the time, all they saw was a few seconds of me shoveling snow. This isn't the first time I've been on TV or have had people comment about it. But I would like to know why. What was the story about? Were they critiquing (or making fun of) my form? Were they talking about how a nine-year-old girl could shovel faster than me? (I've been sick, you know) Or, rather, were they talking about how my pasty complexion mixes in well with the snow? Geez, this has made me pretty paranoid.

Everybody Have Fun Tonight, Everybody Ji Yeon Tonight

King Tom — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 02:27:46 +0000

Hey, that janitor guy on Not Penny's Boat looks familiar! During tonight's episode of Lost, Ji Yeon, I had to re-wind about four or five times just to get caught up with things that either confused me, or I just plain missed the first time. While offering no real answers (but who's complaining?) tonight's episode was another solid offering featuring the character development and twists we've come to expect from Lost. The first twist, Michael as Ben's man on the boat, was a cool reveal, but a bit spoiled, as Harold Perrineau's name has been in the credits every week this season. However, I almost didn't recognize him because not once tonight did he scream out "Waaaaaaaalt!" The other major twist was yet another change in storytelling convention. Not content to offer a simple flashback or flashforward, Lost gave us both in one episode. Sure, one (the slapstick adventures of Jin trying to make it to the hospital on time) was really a red herring, but it kept me guessing until the end. And then the reveal at the end that Jin is dead left me not knowing what to think. The date on Jin's tombstone was 9/22/2004, the same day that Oceanic 815 crashed. Only thing is, in show-time, it's late December. So the date on the tombstone is wrong. Could Jin still be alive, but on the island? Ya got me. We didn't see his death, so it's quite possible (and there may be nothing buried under that stone, as it's a family memorial, split between him and Sun). Some other thoughts about tonight's episode: In the opening scene, when Sun went for the phone, the TV show looked familiar. It was the season finale of Expose (you know, the one with special guest star Billy Dee Williams), but dubbed into Korean. We know for a fact that the island has special healing powers. Maybe it can also help people learn new languages, which would explain Jin's improving proficiency in English. It served Sun right that Juliet called her out on the whole affair thing. Sun has done some bad things in the past, and as Jin said, some of them may have been forgiven because of his behavior, but even without that, she's no angel. The thing with the flight recorder was spooky. It would make more sense for Ben and his people to fake the plane crash, but the boat people are not the saviors the losties think they are. And I don't think it's for purely innocent reasons that Widmore's crew has the recorder. You know, if everyone on the boat treated Michael (excuse me, Kevin Johnson) the way the doctor did, I wouldn't blame Michael for a little sabotage. I'm guessing Hurley's appearance in the flashback is chronologically before he winds back up in the mental institution.

Attention-Grabbing Advertising

King Tom — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 14:53:09 +0000

The other day, I was reading through the New York newspapers online, checking up on Yankees news. I was going through the Newsday Web site, when an ad they were running caught my eye. The page looked like this:

In case you can't see it from there, let me zoom in for you:

First question: How do they know?

Second question: The federal government is spending our money on your mom jokes?

I have to admit, while I ignore most ads on the Web, I actually looked at this one.

Hail To The Chief(s)

King Tom — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 00:19:35 +0000

While searching for the latest news in the world of the rock, I was quite surprised to find out that just last week, the Presidents of the United States of America released a new album. Back in '95-'96, the Presidents were all over rock airwaves, and rightfully so, with Lump and Peaches, two catchy, witty and poppy rock singles. While the 1996 follow-up, II, had one hit with Mach 5, the Presidents' career slowed, to the point where they broke up, re-formed and broke up again. Well, they got together again and this month, released These are the Good Times People, a 14-track album of concise, poppy, catchy songs loaded with humor and animal references. I picked up the album over the weekend and I'm impressed. Three songs that really stand out are Mixed Up S.O.B., Bad Times and So Lo So Hi. These three contain the trademark wittiness and optimism thad make the Presidents' other hits so darn catchy. You can listen to the whole album online here. Try it out.

[Meet Kevin] Johnson's Got A Gun

King Tom — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:57:04 +0000

Tonight's episode of Lost, Meet Kevin Johnson, wraps up the first eight-thirteenths of Season Four of Lost. Now we have to wait a month to figure out the answers to such questions as: -Who lives and who dies? -Is Ben really good or really evil? -Who will Kate end up with, Sawyer or Jack?* *I really don't care whether this one gets answered or not. Tonight's episode was pretty riveting, which in itself is an accomplishment, considering it was centered around Michael, a character that two seasons ago, I was happy to see being written off the show. But you know, time has passed since then. Time makes you bolder, even children get older and I'm getting old now too. Maybe seeing Michael have his shot at redemption has warmed me to him and made him, as a character, interesting again. With the revelation that certain people can't die off-island and others can leave the island as they please, this show is setting up to answer some questions, which is a good thing. It's cool that there was more to Tom's story than just being Ben's lapdog and the guy that was picked last for every on-island game of touch football. Here, it looked like he was serving up heaping bunches of exposition and actually setting events in motion. Although for giving answers about an organization he's opposed to, he knows a lot about Widmore and how it operates. Is it possible Ben has someone else inside the Widmore organization, maybe someone even higher up than the people on the boat? And Michael can't commit suicide. Is it possible that other island inhabitants can't either? Like, say, if a doctor who spent a few months on the island were to try and jump off a bridge in downtown LA, would he not die? I'm beginning to think so. But speaking of death, we see the apparent demise of Karl and the crazy French chick. Karl, well, it was good to know you. But I'm hoping Rousseau isn't dead, because I think there's more to her story to tell. When Alex and Karl sat down and the arrows started shooting, my first thought was that Rousseau walked them right into one of her traps. But thinking about the connection between Alex and Ben and the fact that Widmore's people are there for Ben, I'm beginning to think it's not a trap, but rather a brigade of shady boat people. Some other thoughts: -Is it me, or are there no redshirts in Locke's camp? It looked like everyone present at the meeting was a name character. -When Tom told Michael that it was impossible for him to die off-island and all but encouraged him to attempt suicide, I expected a Groundhog Day-style montage of Michael's various suicide attempts. -One of Ben's best lines this episode: "Consider yourself one of the good guys." You know, if this whole protector of the island gig doesn't work out, he can always try out for a career as a motivational speaker. -I guess Karl and Alex haven't graduated into Others adulthood yet, because they were not sneaking around silently there. In fact, I'd say someone got the drop on them. Your thoughts? (As we wait a month for another round of new episodes)

$9,800 For A Betamax Machine!

King Tom — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 00:16:25 +0000

A few years back when Gateway was closing all its Gateway Country stores, I got a good deal on a DVD recorder. Even though the price I paid for it was about double what DVD recorders are going for now, the machine has served the Civee and I well, also acting as our primary DVD player. If there's something I want to keep for posterity, I use the DVD recorder, as our VCR is relegated to the guest room. With the recent demise of the HD-DVD format, Blu-Ray is now the wave of the future. Standard DVD should still be around for a while, and I've heard that Blu-Ray players can also play standard DVDs, so I don't have anything to worry about. With the recent death of HD-DVD, Popular Mechanics recently wrote about the top 10 expired home video formats spanning the last 40 years. Two aspects of this article are interesting; first, in most cases, the magazine lists the costs of the machines, both what they sold for when introduced, and also what it would cost today, adjusted for inflation. Many of these machines, when first released, sold for upwards of $1,000, which seems ridiculous. The second interesting aspect of the article was one of the machines, was favored by the DHARMA Initiative. Here's the write-up on the U-Matic machine, one of which was foundin the Pearl Station:

These 0.75-in. videotape recorders used one of the first enclosed cartridge formats on the market. Debuting at $1395 ($7292 in 2008 dollars), the machines could record 60 minutes of color television at 250 lines of resolution with full stereo sound. Nevertheless, the price was too steep for mom-and-pop TV watchers, so U matic never really caught on with consumers. It did, however, catch on with professionals, and serves as a workhorse format in television production to this day.
-Popular Mechanics

Maybe El Guapo Was On To Something

King Tom — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:16:45 +0000

Yesterday, I had this great idea for a blog post. Only thing was, my Web host was experiencing problems, so I couldn't post this. So do me a favor, as you read this, pretend its yesterday, and this might be entertaining after all. On a daily basis, I check dictionary.com's Word of the Day. Today's word was plethora, a word I'm familiar with, but I wasn't so familiar with plethora's primary meaning;

plethora \PLETH-uh-ruh\, noun: 1. An abnormal bodily condition characterized by an excessive amount of blood in the system. 2. Excess; superabundance.
dictionary.com Word of the Day, March 24, 2008

Plethora is a fun word to use. One of the reasons is because of an exchange from the film ¡Three Amigos! between the infamous El Guapo and Jefe;

Jefe: We have many beautiful piñatas for your birthday celebration, each one filled with little surprises! El Guapo: How many piñatas? Jefe: Many piñatas, many! El Guapo: Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of piñatas? Jefe: A what? El Guapo: A plethora. Jefe: Oh yes, El Guapo. You have a plethora. El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora? Jefe: Why, El Guapo? El Guapo: Well, you just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora. Jefe: El Guapo, I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education, but could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?

Turns out, all this time, the joke was on me because I didn't know the true meaning of plethora. By the way, the Three Amigos had me quite frustrated at the Internet Movie Database. I spent a plethora (def. #2) of time searching the IMDB for "The Three Amigos" only to come up with something else.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

King Tom — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 14:45:00 +0000

Today = WrestleMania Tomorrow = Opening Day For a few years in a row now, it's been like this. WrestleMania on a Sunday, Opening Day (for the Yankees at least) a few days later. Winter is over, the days are longer, and baseball is indeed back. The world needs a name for when this confluence of awesomeness occurs. I suggest The Days of Greatness. Now if only the weather in central Ohio would be a little more spring-like, we'd be in great shape. Happy Days of Greatness everybody!

Bizarro WrestleMania

King Tom — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 04:28:09 +0000

So I caught WrestleMania 24 tonight, and while I can't say it was a great WrestleMania, I can't say it was bad, either. It was just weird. The show started off interesting, with a fun geriatric hardcore match, and an entertaining Money In The Bank Ladder Match. The MITB match was fun, had some insane spots and told a great story, with the right guy, CM Punk, snatching the briefcase dangling over the ring while Chris Jericho dangled upside-down from another ladder while Punk celebrated. The Ric Flair-Shawn Michaels foregone conclusion match was also a great bout. Michaels seemingly impaled himself with a moonsault on the Raw announce table, but kept fighting. Michaels and Flair pulled out all the stops, with Michaels hitting three or four superkicks (all from different angles/locations) before getting the pin and ending Flair's career. And then it got weird. Flair waved to the fans, hugged his family and walked up the (extraordinarily long) ramp. He waved once again and walked behind the video screen. That was it. No mic time for the Nature Boy to say goodbye (even after his induction into the HOF last night, some extra mic time might have been nice). Following that was the ladies match, which was more annoying than anything. In the middle of that match, the lights went out. That was pretty much the most exciting thing to happen in that 15-minute span. The weirdness continued, with the Orton/Cena/Triple H title match following that one. The match was a real good one for a triple threat match, but it was bizarre that it wasn't the last match. The ending was abrubt though, which Triple H getting Orton in some bizarre figure-three leglock, then giving a pedigree to Cena, then Orton ruining the pin and covering Cena himself. I was a bit surprised Orton won, and even more surprised at the finish. Even though it was the most hyped match of the night, the Big Show-Floyd Mayweather bout didn't interest me much. Still, Mayweather played up to the crowd and it wasn't a surprise he won (even if he did have to use a foreign object to do so). It was fun, however, to see him and his entourage get beaten up. Finally, the Undertaker won the championship (one of them) from Edge, in a dramatic match. It was a good solid match, which saw Undertaker win with some type of choke-submission. But it wasn't the kind of match to blow you away. So there you have it. No blood. No Austin. No Rock. A lot of weirdness and a few things to laugh about. That was WrestleMania 24.

How WrestleMania Should've Ended

King Tom — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 00:43:04 +0000

As I mentioned earlier this week, this year's WrestleMania was kind of weird. One of my biggest problems with the show was the way the Ric Flair career-ending match ended.

Well, thanks to the miracle of DVR, I finally got around to watching Monday night's Raw. I actually fast-forwarded through most of it. The show ended with a tribute to Flair, including the Four Horsemen, many of Flair's past opponents and the whole WWE roster. There was only one person whose absence was somewhat conspicious:

Vince, the last thing you need is someone who idolizes me marrying your daughter.

Fire In The Disco, Fire In The Taco Bell

King Tom — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:07:27 +0000

Nothing much exciting happens in downtown Columbus, especially during the work week.

A few years ago, we got buzzed by an Air Force jet, but other than that, there's rarely anything to make you bug one of your co-workers and say "Hey! What was/Look at that!"

Until today. Sometime early this morning, I looked up from my computer, glanced out the window, and saw a gigantic plume of smoke emitting from a parking garage across the street. I watched for a few seconds, then alerted my co-workers. They all watched for a moment or two. As I watched, I did what anyone would do in this day and age, I whipped out my camera phone and started snapping away.

After a while, I got back to work, even though it looked as if the smoke was headed right for us. Eventually, the smoke died down.

Later on, I read the fire was caused by an SUV in the garage which caught fire, which then spread the flames to two other cars.

Overall, it was a lot of excitement for a Monday morning. Only time will tell if this displaces the low-flying fighter jet as the "hey remember when..." conversation starter in downtown Columbus.

By the way, I must acknowledge the fact that were it not for the pictures, you'd still be seeing the latest entry on the blog be a story about last week's Monday night Raw. Gee, if it wasn't for my new phone, which is also a camera, I don't know what I'd write about.

My Namesake

King Tom — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 02:25:41 +0000

I've mentioned before my friend and associate Iron Mike gave me the nickname "King Tom" some years ago.

Iron Mike is a big fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and based the nickname off an episode in which Joel, while trying to cheer up Tom Servo, dubs him King Tom.

While I enjoy MST3K, I haven't seen a whole lot of it, so this particular episode has evaded me.

Until now.

Thanks to the magic of YouTube, I've finally seen the episode where my nickname comes from. I can't embed the video, but here's a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LO2rOnW1SY

I guess this makes The Civee my "Giggles VonLaughsALot"

porkandbeans

King Tom — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 04:16:54 +0000

Pork And Beans

King Tom — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 04:30:04 +0000

A little more than a week from today, I'm going to do something new. I'm going to purchase an mp3 single from Amazon. Over the weekend, Amazon posted a page listing the first single from Weezer's upcoming sixth album for sale beginning April 22. Considering that news of Weezer being in the studio has been very hush-hush along with not too much known about the album, and that the "Red Album" itself won't drop until June, the fact that this song will be out in a little more than a week is quite exciting. Not to mention the 30 second snippet of the song sounds pretty damn good, too. There's been small snippets of two other tracks leaked too, but those really aren't anything to base an opinion off of. A remixed version of one, "Automatic" is featured in an upcoming video game. A few seconds of the other "Everybody Get Dangerous," is used as background music in the movie "21," but does not appear on the soundtrack (no word on whether the song will also be used in the upcoming live-action Darkwing Duck feature film). Still, with a new album and touring coming up this summer, there's a lot of exciting stuff happening on the Weezer front. Let's hope that Pork and Beans is enough to hold us over.

LA Station Serves Up "Pork and Beans"

King Tom — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 03:15:20 +0000

So a few days after a preview of the new Weezer single hits the Internet, Los Angeles' KROQ plays the song for the public. And it seems like most Weezer fans are happy. I've heard the song (KROQ's played it a few times already tonight) and as a whole, it's good. The song has a lot of different instrumentation (some of which was heard in the amazon preview), and no solo. Which is quite a surprise, because Rivers can shred and his solos usually serve as a centerpoint to his songs. But this is different. And while Rivers name drops some brand names and current famous rappers, it's for a cause;

The song "was inspired by a record-company meeting where the band was told it needed to record more-commercial material. "I came out of it pretty angry," Cuomo says. "But ironically, it inspired me to write another song." -Rolling Stone

Word around the =w= community is that meeting spurred the recording of two songs for the album, Pork and Beans and another song. It's nice to have something radio friendly to appeal to a bigger audience and drive the band's success. While I'll happily listen to PnB, I'm also looking forward to what else is out there.

Two Fighters Against a Star Destroyer?

King Tom — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 02:52:37 +0000

My associate Iron Mike e-mailed me this thought-provoking question:

After seeing the uncoordinated mess that was the attack on the first Death Star, and seeing the pilots of the Rebel Alliance make literally every tactical mistake in the book resulting the destruction of the entire attacking force save for a few ships, my question is: Did pilots of Rebel Alliance ever, at any point, receive even the smallest amount of remedial combat training?

I thought that was an awesome question. My answer would be not necessarily (at least in terms of remedial combat training). With Star Wars written in the aftermath of the Vietnam conflict, George Lucas wanted to show how a mighty technologically-advanced empire could be brought down by amateurs with nothing more than scrapped-together equipment and hope. The planets of the rebellion, for the most part, weren't in open rebellion. They supported the alliance through backdoor means, with individuals joining the rebel armed forces. Those with combat training, or who served in the Clone Wars, were usually higher-ups in the military command. For the most part, the cannon fodder of the alliance was made up of idealistic youngsters who were fit into the roles that best suited them. Those who could pilot a craft were made pilots. Those who could stand around pointing guns at a door poised to blow open were the guys who got gunned down at the beginning of Episode IV. Look at Luke Skywalker, he didn't have any particular spacecraft training, yet, because he could fly, he was made a pilot. I think it's safe to assume that considering he wanted to go to the "academy," he had no formal combat training. Yet he was the pilot that brought the Death Star down. When Star Wars first came out, the universe had a more "lived-in" look than other science fiction of the time. But still, people thought the RA's X-Wings and Y-Wings looked way cool (and they still do today). But comparing what the RA has to the Empire, and even comparing that to the different armed forces in the prequel trilogy, you can definitely see their weaponry, equipment and starfighters are more second-hand. Episodes I-III, thanks mostly to the technology available at the time they were made, shows us what all the components of a galactic army are supposed to look like. Even the Seperatist forces (which were, in effect, the Rebel Alliance of the prequel trilogy) had a much more impressive and better-trained army, even if they were made of droids. While they may have gotten mowed down by the thousands on screen, the droid armies were able to match the strategies and numbers of the Republic, something that the RA couldn't do against the empire. The empire on the other hand, was designed to enforce their brand of terror through sheer numbers and force. They had the equipment and the training. Most importantly, they had the Death Star, which was designed to get those rogue planets in line. Fear will keep the local systems in line... Fear of this battle station.-Grand Moff Tarkin Up against that, the rebels didn't have a chance. They didn't have the training, they didn't have the equipment, organization or numbers. As the question said, they made "literally every tactical mistake in the book resulting the destruction of the entire attacking force save for a few ships." Only one thing could have helped them- the Force. And that was something they had that the empire didn't. On a smaller level, you can ask that same question of Luke vs. the Emperor/Vader. The Emperor and Vader were trained users of the Force. They learned it old-school. Luke, on the other hand, had no formal training (compared to the years of training his father had, Luke had at best, a few days with obi-Wan and a few months with Yoda). Yet somehow, despite making every mistake in the book (leaving Dagobah, on Cloud City, and again in the Emperor's throne room aboard the Death Star II), he defeated those with a lifetime of training. Sometimes luck (or the Force) plays a bigger role than we'd like to admit. In my experience there is no such thing as luck.-Obi Wan Kenobi

Jet Flying Reporter Possibly High As A Kite

King Tom — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:54:43 +0000

I can't say this surprises me. CNN Reporter and British nutjob Richard Quest was recently arrested for meth possession in New York City's Central park.

According to the report, Quest was arrested at 3:40 a.m. in the park, which is closed between the hours of 1 a.m. and 6 a.m. Upon being approached by police, Quest reportedly told the arresting officers: "I have meth in my pocket." He was arraigned on Friday on a misdemeanor drug charge.

When I worked in TV, there was a newsroom monitor tuned to CNN all the time, and Quest's segments were must-see TV for myself and a few co-workers. Quest reported regularly for CNN's morning show on odd topics (many involving travel), wherein he would just go crazy reporting the story of the day. Quest would do anything for a story, and delivered standups like a rabid squirell about to take a bite out of the camera. However, the best part of hits reports were the interplay between Quest and Jack Cafferty ("Seinfeld is next"). Cafferty hated Quest, and half the time seemed like he was about to "do a shoot" on the hyperactive Englishman. Well, here's hoping that Quest can kick the habit and can remain entertaining off the meth.

Thanks for the Shout-Out, Weezer!

King Tom — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 02:25:37 +0000

As I've mentioned (quite often) recently, Weezer is back in business, with a new single, Pork and Beans, hitting the airwaves, and a new album (their third self-titled effort), Weezer (the Red Album) due out on June 24. This weekend, Karl announced the tracklist for the upcoming album (tracks 1-10 are the album proper, with 11-14 being part of the "Deluxe Edition"):

1. Troublemaker 2. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn) 3. Pork and Beans 4. Heart Songs 5. Everybody Get Dangerous 6. Dreamin’ 7. Thought I Knew 8. Cold Dark World 9. Automatic 10. The Angel and the One 11. Miss Sweeney 12. Pig 13. The Spider 14. King

Of course, I'm interested in hearing all of these songs. But most intriguing to me is the title of the 14th and final track. You didn't have to, guys. But it's appreciated.

The Fire Pole: Safety Hazard or Just Misunderstood?

King Tom — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:41:33 +0000

A comedy staple in both movies and real life may be going out of style. In it's daily This Day In Tech feature, wired.com tells the story of the fire pole, which was first used 130 years ago today:

Firefighters at Engine Company 21 were unloading hay for the horses that pulled their fire engines. When the bell rang, firefighter George Reid was up in the hayloft on the third floor. The long binding pole that was used to secure the hay to the wagon had been stashed vertically up the loading area to the hayloft. Rather than run all the way down two flights of stairs, Reid decided to slide down the pole. Swift thinking, George.

However, because of safety concerns, fire poles are a dying breed:

Nowadays, the poles are sometimes considered safety hazards, and new firehouses are often built without them. Single-story firehouses are preferred.

It will be a sad day when the fire pole becomes extinct. At least we can always go back to the works of the Three Stooges or Ghostbusters to see them in their prime.

The Village Weez

King Tom — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 03:15:53 +0000

Today, Spinner.com released the album cover for Weezer's upcoming sixth album. If this cover alone doesn't make album six (a.k.a. The Red Album) go platinum, there is no justice in the world. The image alone redefines the concept of album covers as art, and all other musicians just better stop trying. It's far better for all future albums, CDs, tapes and eight-tracks to be released in brown paper wrapping than to try and compete with Weezer portraying the Village People. From left to right, Brian is the starving artist, Pat is the scholar, Rivers is a cowboy and Scott is the biker. Truly a masterpiece. I don't want to go calling this a 'theme album,' but from what we know, the look of the band here fits the message of Pork and Beans:

I'mma do the things That I wanna do I ain't got a thing To prove to you I'll eat my candy With the pork and beans Excuse my manners If I make a scene I ain't gonna wear The clothes that you like I'm finally dandy With the me inside One look in the mirror And I'm tickled pink I don't give a hoot About what you think

I didn't think it was possible to look forward to an album, but I am really stoked for this one.

Don't Mess With Ben Linus

King Tom — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:45:03 +0000

After what seemed like a short eight-week run earlier this year, Lost returned tonight to continue its fourth season with a Ben-focused episode, "The Shape of Things To Come." And if the producers were hoping to please the ever-important King Tom demographic, they succeeded. Tonight's episode featured explosions, the monster, Ben, international intrigue, a game of worldwide domination and all love triangles kept to a minimum. Heading into tonight, I don't think I was expecting this episode to go anywhere. We certainly didn't learn much, but we saw a few rough outlines of possible answers. We saw a number of people killed off, and action taking place in the present and the future. I thought the whole showdown at New Otherton was handled very well. Even though it was established Ben's flashforwards took place in the future, I was still on the edge of my seat as soon as he pulled the shotgun out of the piano bench (and Ben rivals Dwight Schrute for creative hiding places for one's weapons). Of course, all the heavy developments in the episode happened around Ben. To wit:

Ben has something to do with the smoke monster.
We saw how and why Sayid started working for Ben. Ben was excellent at playing the Palpatine to Sayid's Anakin Skywalker. Evenwhat Ben said, "once you let your grief become your anger, it will never go away," was very Sith-like.
We know that Ben can leave the island (while wearing a winter coat featuring the logo of a new DHARMA station).
The controlling powers in the "big game" of the series mythology were shown to have a face-to-face encounter. Ben's after-hours encounter with Charles Widmore was unexpected and confusing. So Ben can't kill Widmore. Widmore wasn't supposed to kill Alex. Widmore still wants to find the island, which he once controlled. Ben possibly still controls the island. And Ben wants to kill Penny. Heavy stuff.

While not really a revelation, it was also fun to see Ben play the Jack Bauer-style action hero. I have no idea where that came from, but add that to Ben's revenge against Keamy and company, and I think it's clear; you don't want to mess with Ben. Some other random thoughts: Nice to see the boys play the game of worldwide domination. I hate to tell Sawyer, but Hurley's right, you control Austrailia, and you control the game. Did Sawyer, Locke and Hurley not notice the phone? And where can one get one of those rotary-style phones without a rotary dial? I think Ben might have left his coat in the desert after he laid the smackdown on those to guys on horseback. The Sawyer scene where all the redshirts were getting gunned-down was unintentionally funny. Your thoughts?

Call Me [Turkey] Burger King

King Tom — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 02:01:55 +0000

Now that the weather is nice again, I'm back to one of my favorite pasttimes: cooking outside over an open flame. I started the grilling thing last year, and despite some early mishaps, with the help of a chimney starter, I became quite adept at grilling by the end of the summer. Earlier this weekend, The Civee and I decided now would be a good time to re-start our grilling adventure, so we made [what was our first meal on the grill last year] turkey burgers. We used about a pound of ground turkey, and I made two burgers, each of which was freakin' huge (the burger pictured has a slice of grilled onion on top). Even more important, the ginormous burgers were really good. As were the sweet potato fries on the side. In case you want to make your own turkey burgers just like the king: Take one pound of ground turkey meat. Mix with a half cup of breadcrumbs (or crushed crackers, which we used tonight), a quarter-cup of olive oil (or any other type of oil, you'll need it because there's close to no fat in the turkey meat). Add a palmful of poultry seasoning and as much pepper and salt as you want. Shape into two (or fewer) orbs, and grill about ten minutes per side. As for the equimpent, I'm still using charcoal and the same Weber knockoff as last year. With the aforementioned chimney starter, there's no need for lighter fluid, which is a good thing. Maybe this summer we'll upgrade to a real Weber, but that's something I'm trying to talk the Civee into.

The More Things Change, Yada, Yada, Yada...

King Tom — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 22:07:13 +0000

Being an obnixous Yankee fan in a city where most baseball fans follow one of two so-called "medium market" teams, I often get asked to defend the charge that the Yankees' (read: George Steinbrenner's) spending habits have ruined the great sport of baseball. My standard reponse is that yes, the Yankees do spend more than other teams, but that's because they wisely (well, mostly wise) reinvest their money into the team. That money pays for a team that fans turn out to see, in turn, leading fans to buy the team's merchandise and follow the team from around the world. What's more, the Yankees pay millions of dollars to other teams in the form of revenue sharing, and a number of those teams take that money and put it back into the pockets of their owners, rather than putting that money into a team (for that team's fans) worth cheering for. Rather, I counter, it isn't the Yankees ruining baseball, but those owners taking that money to enrich themselves, rather than their team. Even though free agency has only existed over the last 30-40 years of baseball's lifespan, the concepts I've been talking about have been around a lot more. In reading a recent interview at Baseball Analysts with Dan Levitt, who wrote a book about Ed Barrow, the Yankees' first GM, it's easy to see that my argument is not a new one:

Rich: Using newly available material from the New York Yankee financial records and previously unexplored financial data from 1951 Congressional hearings, you delved into the economic environment of baseball over the first half of the twentieth century. What was the most enlightening thing you learned about the Yankees? Dan: Two things stand out. First, the Yankees reinvested their profits in the team while other franchises often distributed theirs out to the team's owners, and second, the Yankees consistently paid the highest salaries.

I'd rather be a fan of a team that spends prodigiously than one run by a bunch of penny pinchers. Sure, the Yankees are a .500 team at this point in the season, but their ownership has at least given them a chance. I'd like for someone to honestly tell me that you can say the same about Pittsburgh or Florida. Those cities should have their teams taken away.

Killing Momentum (a.k.a. Something Nice Back Home)

King Tom — Fri, 02 May 2008 03:49:43 +0000

Is it me, or does this happen regularly: A great episode of Lost (or at least one with a cliffhanger/reveal at the end) is followed by a pedestrian effort aimed more at developing characters than developing story. That's certainly the case with tonight's episode, Something Nice Back Home. That isn't to say that Something Nice Back Home was a bad episode. It wasn't. But it wasn't great, either. And after last week's great episode, and considering the momentum the show is trying to build as they wrap up Season Four, you'd think they'd put out a stronger effort, or at least let us check in with more compelling characters, like Ben, Locke, Sayid or Desmond. It may sound hard to believe, but I like Jack as a character. It's interesting how and why he goes from island hero to mainland zero. It's just compared to the other people on the island, I don't care much about his story. Or his relationship with Kate. At least, we get enough to fill in the blanks between tonight's episode and last season's awesome ending scene. To be honest, watching Jack's first flashforward scene, I expected tonight's episode to be about how he got his new post-island tatoos. I'm very happy it didn't come to that. I would have liked to see more of what his father had to say to him (although I get the idea it's something along the lines of "don't raise the boy" or whatever Charlie told Hurley to tell Jack). It's nice to see the theme of "Aaron cannot be raised by another" return from the first season. And speaking of tie-ins to past episodes, Jin and Sun went with Faraday and the annoying Limey chick to a DHARMA station. Usually, any episode with a DHARMA station sighting is a bonus for me. But this felt rushed. There was an emotional moment with Sun and the equipment, but after the scene in Tunisia in her first episode, I would've expected annoying Limey chick to be more amazed at being at an actual DHARMA facility. As for the final, but smallest focus tonight, I enjoyed Sawyer, Claire and the Ghostbuster's jaunt through the jungle. Sawyer as a protective figure is a nice use of the character, considering how heartless he's been shown to be in the past (and the line about him in the last Jack-Kate scene: "he chose to stay behind," I'm sure that has a future implication). I'm sure that Miles the Ghostbuster is not up to some sort of nefarious plot, but maybe the Losties would be less suspicious of him (and Faraday and annoying Limey chock) if they just opened up a little. Some other random thoughts: -After Rose saying "you just watch your mouth red," I really wanted to see Rose lay the smack down on annoying Limey chick. -I was a bit disappointed to see that Keamy and a number of troops survived last week's monster of mystery attack. I thought for sure that Smokey would have wiped them all out. -It's noble to think that Kate would do something for Sawyer in her post-island life. I'd bet it has something to do with Cassidy and his daughter. But considering Jack's past record and paranoia with unfaithful women, maybe she should have been a bit more forthcoming. -An appendectomy is one of the most routine types of surgery. Everything I know about appendectomies, I learned from The Office:

Dwight: Talk me through an appendectomy. Andy: Step 1, disinfection. Step 2, incision. Step 3, remove the appendix tenderly so it doesn't burst and spread toxic...icity everywhere. Dwight[talking over Andy]: Step 5, ...the wound. Andy: Re-suture. Sutures, yes.

What did you think?

Guitar Solos: A Thing of The Past?

King Tom — Wed, 07 May 2008 22:57:40 +0000

The Red Album: Freakin' incredible (or at least the eight-tenths I've heard). Trust me on this one.

The Cure for Cabin Fever

King Tom — Fri, 09 May 2008 03:34:44 +0000

Tonight's episode of Lost, Cabin Fever takes its name from a (mostly) psychological condition. The cure for which, according to this Web site is "a good wholesome change of environment." If you think about it, that has a lot to do with the very end of (and possibly most puzzling statement from) "Cabin Fever." Once again, with a Locke-centric episode, Lost delivered in terms of backstory, action, current-day story and expanding the island mythology just enough to have me totally confused about... ...how in the world they're going to "move" the island. Through time? Through space? Whichever way, the island's ills (Keamy and company) will be cured by a "a good wholesome change of environment." As I ponder the big question, might as well review what we did learn tonight: Locke has been special for a very long time. It was nice to see Richard Alpert again (and was I the only one getting a Rod Serling vibe from Alpert tonight? I halfway expected an episode of the Twilight Zone to start in his first scene). He might not have been ready for the island at such an early age, but certain people were paying attention to him. Maybe, because he wasn't ready (or didn't make the right choices during his "test"), the island/the Others had to go with their backup plan... ...Ben Linus. Ben was different tonight. We learned he wasn't the one who made the call on the purge. We've also seen a different side to him. He was quieter than usual. The effects of his daughter's death were settling in. "I used to have dreams." "I had a spinal tumor and my daughter's blood on my hands." Seems like he feels that he's no longer special, or chosen and that it's time for him to hand over the reigns. Good thing that we've seen the future, where he's his take-charge, talkative, and yes, manipulative self. So we know something changes between now and then, but what? Keamy and the rest of Widmore's mercenaries seem like they want to get between Ben and whatever his destiny is. I have a feeling they don't, but the whole idea of "torching the island" is not one that sits comfortably with me. We've seen that the boat people aren't totally a science mission like they were shown to be earlier this season. But we haven't found out why they were on the boat to begin with. We do know that Abbadon put the squad together. And tonight we see that Abbadon gently planted the idea of a walkabout in Locke's mind. I'm sure we'll get to see the next time that he and Locke run into each other. Some other thoughts: -Ben looked so peaceful in his sleep. -I felt bad for Hurley as Locke was taunting him about the DHARMA brand Ranch dressing. It was great to get some more DHARMA shoutouts tonight. -Speaking of DHARMA, does anyone else think the logo on the "plan B" supplied to Keamy by Widmore is proof that Widmore is behind the DHARMA initiative? -Locke took a long time lighting that lamp. I just wanted him to get inside Jacob's cabin. Okay, the cabin was originally built by Horace. But Horace is dead, and as far as we know, Horace isn't. And Jacob's cabin sounds better. -Weird to see Christian in the cabin. Even weirder to see Claire there with him. But what the hell does Claire have to do with anything? -Ben and Hurley sharing a candybar didn't need any additional dialogue. What do you think?

Racing Against the Clock

King Tom — Fri, 09 May 2008 23:21:31 +0000

Dammit...I hope I'm not late with this. Happy Jack Bauer Appreciation Day, everybody! True, 24 was worse than lackluster last season, but Jack Bauer remains among the greatest of American heroes. For all those of you who like to speak in alternating whispers and shouts, commandeer random vehicles or give your word as a regular negotiating tactic, today is the day for you. To read some of my views on the best (and worst) of Bauer, click here.

Reading is Fundamental

King Tom — Sun, 11 May 2008 19:11:26 +0000

I was in a conversation recently with The Civee and the in-laws about reading. The Civee's mother, who does a lot of work raising money for her neighborhood library, mentioned that it's reccomended that people get in three hours of reading per week. Books and newspapers count. Most things on the Internet, including "blog-stuff," doesn't. So if you've been taking your time at the Kingdom, enjoying my observations and witticisms, your time spent here may not count. I easily spend a few hours (more than three, less than, say, six) each week reading. And I'm not counting the time spent wasting time on the Web. I'm also not counting the number of hours I spend at work reading and proofreading material. That gets to be mind-numbing and I almost need to read non-work material (outside of work, of course) just to get my mind on the right track. Give a hoot, read a book!

Leave 'Em Laughing and Wanting More

King Tom — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:07:45 +0000

Ten years ago today, the greatest sitcom of all time came to an end. Seinfeld ended its nine-season run on May 14, 1998 with The Finale, an episode that brought back memorable supporting characters from throughout the show's run, and sent the "New York Four" to prison. At the time, I hated the episode. While it had some great humorous moments, the idea of sending Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer to prison for not helping out a carjack victim was preposterous and a bit of a cop-out. Looking backat this today, while I still think the finale was funny, but weak overall. However, I think a lot of my ill feelings toward the episode had more to do with the fact that the show was ending than the individual merits of the episode. The thing I realize now is that like George, the show was going out on a high note. Seinfeld didn't outstay its welcome or become irrevelant by coming back year after year with even more episodes. Compare that with other long-running series. I love the Simpsons, and could probably quote classic episodes all day long. But while the antics of our favorite family are still good for a few laughs, the show isn't as memorable or ass must-see as it once was. Same goes for M*A*S*H*, which had a longer run than the active combat phase of the conflict it was based on. Instead, Seinfeld limited itself to nine seasons of comedy which people quote (and life still imitates) to this day. A recent article in Newsweek claims the show's relevance was minimal due to the self-centeredness of the characters. I'd say that the show's focus on the little things in life, as well as the character's own self interest is what made it great. Take George, for instance. I think George Costanza is one of the great characters of all time. No one could be like him all the time, but I'm sure everyone has parts of them that wish they could be. However, when we see George in action, we're reminded why it's good that we don't live life the way George does. If Seinfeld had continued production, it most likely would have gone the way of all the other shows that held on too long. But I guess as George and Jerry learned, it's better to go out on a high note and always leave the audience wanting more.

Kramer: And it's a waste of my talent. It's just a little burning. Mickey, he got bacterial meningitis. George: I guess there are no small diseases, only small actors. The other three start laughing. George (leaving): Alright that's it for me. Good night everybody. Elaine: What was that? Jerry: Showmanship, George is trying to get out on a high note.

Ben Linus Always Has A Plan

King Tom — Fri, 16 May 2008 03:30:36 +0000

Not only did ABC decide to break the three-hour season four finale of Lost, No Place Like Home, into two episodes, but to add even more punishment, they've added a week break inbeween installments. So this season of Lost won't wrap up next Thursday, but rather, on May 29th. Thanks a lot, ABC! Tonight's episode definitely felt like it was the first part of a larger story. Characters got put into place and plans put into motion, but at the end, I felt like I was waiting for the action to happen. I was surprised to see the flash-forwards revolve around the return to the mainland for the Oceanic Six. I thought we'd have to wait till next season for that. My guess is the action of next week's episode will show what happens before the O6 get on that cargo plane, while the flashforwards show what else happens before Jack and Kate's encounter at the airport in last year's season-ender. But that's just my guess. There were enough good little moments in tonight's episode to make it worth watching- Hurley reunites with his family, Jack finds out about Claire, Jin/Sun meet Kevin Johnson, Sun buys out her dad, etc. But the one stand-out moment for me was near the end, when Alpert came walking out of the clearing with the rest of The Others in tow. It's nice to see them as part of the story again, rather than an afterthought, even if they are dressed in rags again instead of J. Crew. Seems like there are more of them than Keamy and Company, but who knows at this point where they're going. Some other random thoughts: -I really wanted to see the Orchid tonight. We never really got a follow-up to Ben's "magic box" of last season. Is the Orchid the magic box? -Sun's hostile takeover of her father was great. It's already been established that she can be manipulative. It's nice to see her use those powers for good. But who is the other person she blames for Jin's "death"? -I don't think we needed Ben to tell us those crackers were 15 years old. And I don't think we should be surprised that Hurley ate them. -How did Claire's mother get out of the coma? Did Kate hear any of that conversation between Jack and Clarie's mom? -I couldn't tell whether Jin and Sun were happy to see Michael or not.

A Nice Little Place On The Chee-Funky River

King Tom — Wed, 21 May 2008 02:20:33 +0000

This weekend, The Civee and I went to Louisiana to visit my grandparents. We had a good time and went at the right time of year. The weather was in the low 80s, clear and dry. Any later in the year and it would be oppressively hot and humid. My grandparents live an hour north of New Orleans, across Lake Ponchartrain. This was my first time to the area in four years. My grandparents' area was hit by Hurricane Katrina (as was pretty much everything else down there), and while life is back to normal, things definitely look different than a few years ago. We spent most of the weekend with my grandparents, eating breakfast (The Civee and I are not regular breakfast eaters) and doing family things, but for a few hours Sunday, The Civee and I had a few hours and a car to ourselves. We didn't have enough time to go into the city, so we decided to drive around in the backwoods and not-so-backwoods of the North Shore of the Lake. While driving around, we drove over a bridge spanning the Tchefuncte River (pronounced Chee-Funky) into a small town called Madisonville. On one side of the river was a large marina. On Madisonville side, a row of restaurants. We parked and walked around for a while, eventually deciding to stop at Morton's, a bar and restaurant with an outside deck facing the river. I have to admit, one of the things that drew me to Morton's (considering all the restaurants had decks facing the river) was the sign to the left, promising hot boiled seafood. The Civee and I got an outside table and just enjoyed ourselves by talking and watching the boats and the moving bridge. The bridge we passed over was a Swing Bridge (check out the wikipedia link for a cool animated image), which would open every half hour for about five minutes to let marine traffic through. While watching the bridge was fun, the fulfillment of the advertised seafood was even better. Because we had breakfast a few hours earlier, I didn't think I could finish off a whole tray of boiled crawfish, so I opted for two broiled soft shell crabs, which were damn good. I also helped myself to some of The Civee's Mahi Mahi, which was also superb. After eating and sitting around for a while, we found our car and started to head back. But as we got the car going, we noticed we had just a minute or two before the next closing (or opening, depending on your point of view ) of the swing bridge. So we high-tailed it out of Madisonville, lest we be held up. Even though we sped out of town, it was a nice place, one I wouldn't mind going back to (if only to polish off a plate of boiled crawfish).

That's His Name, Henry Jones Junior

King Tom — Fri, 23 May 2008 22:17:04 +0000

Within 24 hours of its official opening, I caught Indiana Jones and the Kingom of the Crystal Skull. The theater was packed- and for good reason- the first new movie featuring one of the greatest action heroes in almost 20 years. While I was a bit confused by some of the story points, I liked this movie. It had all the forumla points of a "classic" Indiana Jones movie, with great action and the feel of a real adventure while the Indiana Jones character (and Harrison Ford) were trying to keep up as they got older. That gave this movie depth and homages to previous Indiana Jones movies kept the die-hard saga fans happy. The fourth cinematic installment of the series sees Jones pulled into helping Russians find mystical crystal skulls. The Russians want the skulls because they contain psychic powers. Jones and other archaeologists want the skulls because they lead the way to the city of gold (which, in the movie, reminded me of the Valley of the Golden Suns from Duck Tales). The Russians have kidnapped a professor friend of Jones, as well as his love interest from Raiders, Marion Ravenwood. The movie really gets going when Indy, the professor, Marion and Indy & Marion's son escape from the Russians. This leads to the centerpiece car chase, fistfight and attack of creepy animals (in this case, army ants). Like I mentioned, my problem with this movie was understanding everything behind the crystal skulls. With earlier Indiana Jones, the mythology was much more accessible. The Lost Ark and Holy Grail were understandable. This, you had to pay attention to. But there was a lot in this movie to like. For the most part, there was action from the beginning of the movie to the end. The action shots and fights were featured in full frame, with long cuts. No quick-cut, super zoom in fight scenes like the Bourne movies. While he's aged, the character of Indiana Jones is able to keep up in the new world, but he definitely acknowledges the years (and mileage) behind him. While the end action scene is a bit far-fetched (with the skulls coming to life and all), it's the culmination of one of Jones' many adventures. And you get that. Perhaps the one thing that made this movie believeable as an Indiana Jones movie was the inclusion of Marion. As Indy remarks while they're holed up in the back of a truck, the problem with all the other women in his life was that they weren't her. She's the one female in the saga who's his equal--I can buy him settling down and having kids with her. Can't say that for Willie Scott or the Nazi dame (especially considering she's dead). Maybe it's just the fanboy in me, but this was the perfect ending for the saga (nevermind the 90-year-old Indy telling stories to kids in a random New York museum).

They Still Make Music Videos?

King Tom — Fri, 23 May 2008 22:27:51 +0000

J-Dog only beat me to the punch here because I stayed late at work today. Weezer has released the music video for their single Pork 'n Beans on Youtube. It's only fitting they released it on Youtube, because the video co-stars YT celebrities, half of whom I don't know. Still, the video is well done (and it's about time Weezer's done a video with lightsabers), humorous and entertaining. Much like 2001, it is a great time to be a Weezer fan. The band has the new album coming out June 3. To promote the album, they've started a series of webisodes starring band members (in addition to Rivers' ongoing Let's Write A Sawng project). Along with the regular album, Weezer is releasing a deluxe version of the CD the same day (which would serve as the definitive album) and a bunch of other tracks (aside from the 14 tracks on the deluxe CD) to come in various markets, including:

The Weight (The Band Cover)
Life is what you make it (Talk Talk Cover)
It's easy
I can love
Are friends electric? (Tubeway Army Cover)
Love my way (Psychedelic Furs Cover)
Oddfellow local 151 (REM Cover)

Lots of interesting musical choices. Like I said, it's a great time to be a Weezer fan.

Lost: The Future

King Tom — Sun, 25 May 2008 21:22:57 +0000

I'm not trying to turn the Kingdom into King Tom's House of Embedded Videos, but this one was pretty cool. Scenes from all of the Lost flashforwards in chronological order (although I'm not sure Ben's visit to Widmore is in the right place). All I have to say is I'm really looking forward to Thursday night.

Stop the Beep, Creep

King Tom — Wed, 28 May 2008 22:34:37 +0000

One of my weaknesses is a sensitivity to noise, particularly when I'm trying to sleep. As I documented back in the summer of aught-six, my life was nearly ruined by a malfunctioning carbon monoxide detector in my then-next-door-neighbor's apartment. A few nights ago, I thought the malfunctioning detector had tracked me down with the intent to finish what it started back in '06. It was after midnight, I was hanging out and I heard this short beep emit from somewhere on our ground floor every minute. It was a short, soft beep--just enough to drive me crazy, but not enough to be able to pinpoint the source of the beep, which is kind of self-defeating. It took me a good 20 minutes of roaming around our ground floor like a lunatic hunting for the source of the beep before I found it: a cordless phone which had been off its cradle all weekend. I returned the phone to the cradle and the beeping stopped. I don't understand why, in a world where we have birthday cards that can play the audio of the first fifteen minutes of Star Wars, our more sophisticated electronic devices are limited to a beep when they need our urgent attention. I would have gone through a lot less hassle had my phone simply emitted a "your cordless phone is nearing the end of its power cycle" in a pleasing voice once or twice. I would have known what was causing the noise, where to find the source and how to remedy the problem. (The titular line of this entry was inspired by a line from a Saved By The Bell episode. I'm not sure which one, but I believe Lisa said something to this effect to Screech).

Lost: There's No Place Like The Island

King Tom — Fri, 30 May 2008 03:58:15 +0000

So I spent three hours tonight watching all of Lost's season four final, There's No Place Like Home, and other than my mind being blown, I have no idea what happened. Well, I guess I have some idea.

The freighter blew up, seemingly killing Michael and Jin.
Ben killed Keamy.
Ben moved the island and now can't go back.
Desmond and Penny are reunited (and it feels so good).
Locke is the new leader of the others.
Locke is the guy in the coffin from last year's season finale.

That last one (Locke being Jeremy Bentham) totally surprised me. I expected Ben to end up in the coffin. I guess whatever went down on the island post-move must have been really bad, if Locke gets off the island and somehow ends up in a casket at the Flash Forward funeral home. Only thing I'm thinking is that somehow, Locke traveled way back in time (when the island disappeared) and the Locke-in-a-box is much older than the living Locke left behind on the island. We've seen what happened to the Others' former leader after he turned the magical wheel (after undertaking a task similar to scraping the ice off one's car in the wintertime). Only thing we didn't know before is that (according to him), he can't go back to the island. Since his introduction, Ben has become one of my favorite characters, and I'd like to see him get back. It just feels like his emotional connection has been and will be to the island. And while he may have displeased Jacob (or whatever he did wrong), he (like Locke) has always acted in the best interest of the island. As for one of my other favorite characters, it was nice to see Desmond finally get together with Penny. We don't know what the smoke monster is. We don't know where/when the island is. But an emotional story element introduced two years ago has finally paid off--and it was worth it. Some other thoughts: -The episode was set up perfectly in the first scene, with Kate's "I spent the last three years trying to forget all the horrible things that happened the day we left." Nice little preview. -I guess the island didn't have to be moved because it would be "torched," but rather because Widmore would just keep sending goons to look for it. -I wonder if we're ever going to get an explanation as to what the whispers are, or what's being said. But I wouldn't bet on it. -Ninja others! Taking out an army of commandos! Why couldn't they do this earlier? -Does the island healing powers work on 15-year-old crackers? -With Jack still blaming Locke for what happened with Naomi, he's showing he's still delusional about the boat people. I think he's an example of the type of leader Ben was warning Locke against becoming. -About time we got a reference to the magic box this season. And Ben's face/reaction right after Locke mentioned the magic box was great. -I was super-psyched to see the DHARMA video...but why did we have to see only the first half of it? I'm still not sure what the Orchid does. -After the crash of flight 815, and then the rough water landing of the chopper, I wouldn't blame any of the Oceanic 6 for never wanting to fly again. -Even though the Des & Penny kiss was one of the great emotional moments of the show, I found Des introducing everyone to Penny kind of funny. -The Pixies were a nice choice for Jack's Jeep music. -I guess Locke didn't turn out to be a very good leader. So that's it until January. We don't know where the island is. Three of the Four boat people are left behind (and Lapidus, he may never return). The O6 want to find the island (except maybe for Sun). Locke is dead and who knows if Ben can go back.

A "Lost" Episode

King Tom — Sat, 31 May 2008 21:19:45 +0000

I'm an idiot. Last night The Civee started and I started up the ol' DVR to watch parts 2 & 3 of 'There's No Place Like Home,' as she wasn't around Thursday night. We were watching the episode in glorious HD, when we decided to get some ice cream at the next commercial break. I hit stop, then hit another button and the next thing I knew, the episode was erased. - - - - . Our cable provider recently changed the software on our cable box, so some of the buttons I had gotten used to in the past year have changed. If it was a mistake she had made, I would have been fine with it, but because it was me, I'm a bit pissed at myself. We finished part 2 on ABC's Web site, but it wasn't just the same. Maybe I should review the instructions the cable company sent along when the system changed.

How To Use A Magical Island

King Tom — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 01:02:00 +0000

For the past four TV seasons, the survivors of the crash of Oceanic 815 have been stranded on an island. We don't know much about the island. But we know it's a special place. It was home to some culture which built a statue honoring a being with four toes. A nineteenth-century slaving ship somehow landed in the middle of the island. People with life-threatening diseases and disabilities have been healed once they've stepped foot on the island. And sometimes around 40 years ago, the DHARMA initiative built a series of stations to harness the powers of the island to conduct "silly experiments." While the inhabitants of the island and those who have ended up there by sheer happenstance have used the island's powers (or magic) for their own personal reasons, DHARMA did something different. They tried harnessing that special power, but did so to benefit their own ends. But looking at what they've done, one can take the view that DHARMA messed up, or has the wrong priorities (at least in terms of what the island is and is to be used for) by turning the island's magic into science (kind of sounds like the whole man of faith vs. man of science debate on a different scale). For some examples of how DHARMA's priorities were out of whack consider:

Who cares about time travelling bunnies when you can move an island and jump into the future?
Why bother bottling up the magnetic properties of the island when doing so could potentially mean the end of the world?
And who cares about psychological experiments where the people who think they're the watchers are actually the ones being watched?

DocArzt, one of the best Lost bloggers on the Web explains DHARMA's presence on the island another way:

...the Orchid station, as it turned out, really wasn't responsible for moving the island. The scene essentially took the thunder from the hands of Dharma and put it back into the hands of the mysterious 'original' occupants of the island. Ben's comment on the station being for 'silly experiments' was the first clue. He openly acknowledged there was some time travel with bunnies going on, which is far from silly, but the real magic of the place was what it was built around: an ancient machine that had the capability of teleporting an entire island. All at once it is easy to see why Ben may have not been that interested in the Swan, let alone the Dharma Initiative's attempts to control and manipulate the forces on the island. Someone had already done it, a long time ago, or perhaps a long time in the future if you want to be more surreal about it. Either way, Ben's lack of respect for Dharma is well founded. The Orchid had nothing to do with moving the island, it was merely an attempt to gracefully, and safely, duplicate what the wheel room was capable of doing.

DHARMA was trying to take the magic of the island and turn it into science. If the DHARMA people were the "men of science," then their oppostion, the "men of faith" would be the original inhabitants of the island, the hostiles, the Others, whatever you want to call them. The Others were there to prevent DHARMA from ruining the island. They've removed the initiative, and have stopped its deleterious effects on the island. In some instances, the others still use(d) DHARMA facilities (before Locke blowed them up real good), but as Locke pointed out last season, doing so caused them (mostly Ben) to lose their way. Enter Desmond and Locke. Both men have destinies intertwined with the island. Desmond was told by Mrs. Hawking that he has to go to the island and push the button. He did this for three years, except for one specific time, which led to Locke entering the picture. Locke's destiny with the island was shown from a very early age, where he was "recruited" by the island. When he eventually got to the island, Locke was the one to open the hatch and (eventually) destroy the Swan (and the Flame). Both men are rewarded for their efforts. Desmond is eventually allowed to leave and reunites with Penny. He finds his purpose, and becomes the "great man" he could not be off the island. Locke regains the use of his legs and becomes leader of the Others, which gives him the family he's wanted all his life. Between now (the day Ben moves the island) and the time Jeremy Bentham dies, though, something goes wrong with John Locke. The island has been moved to protect it from Widmore, but that's not enough to save the island and its inhabitants from falling victim to whatever the "bad" thing is that happens in the future. The island is a magical place. There are people who live there that don't want to leave. And there are people off the island who are spending a lot of time and money to get back there. And a group of six (possibly more) people who got what they wanted want to go back. I guess we'll see why next season.

iHate iTunes

King Tom — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 02:01:03 +0000

Like a sucker, I signed up for iTunes for today's release of the Red Album to get access to the bonus tracks and ticket pre-order access that was promised to those who pre-ordered it through Apple's infernal software. I'm just glad I wasn't the only Weezer fan out there who got this message while attempting to download the album this morning: I know Weezer likes to take some time in between albums, but this is ridiculous! I also went around in search of a physical copy of the album. Target was sold out. Barnes and Noble was sold out and was charging double Target's price. And a few other places didn't have it yet. I'll have my thoughts together on the awesomeness that is the Red Album soon.

The Greatest Video That Never Got Any Play

King Tom — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 03:01:21 +0000

Weezer, "performing" The Greatest Man That Ever Lived. This was actually produced by MTV, but it won't air on the station, because, you know, they don't show videos anymore. And don't look for it on VH1 Classic either, because they can't fit it in between their 200 airings of Spinal Tap this month. I'll have a few words to say about the Red Album this weekend.

Where's Hideki?

King Tom — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 14:57:35 +0000

For the past six seasons, the Yankees have had a dependable, professional and productive Japanese import--Hideki Matsui, an outfielder who has been a steady contributor to the team. Ten years ago, the Yankees had another Japanese import, their first (if you're not counting Kats Maeda), also named Hideki, but he wasn't really dependable, professional, and was only productive in short spurts. Hideki Irabu made his first appearance as a MLB player in July of '97 after the Yankees acquired his rights (Along with Homer Bush) from the Padres. There was a lot of build-up and media frenzy during the acquisition and Irabu's stint in the minors. While he impressed in his first game against the Tigers, he quickly fell apart and went back and forth between the minors and the big leagues. A lot of news stories around the time focused on the fact that Irabu was rude, couldn't cover first base and had a straight fastball. Believe it or not, in the early months of the '98 season, Irabu was the teams' most dependable starter. In a year where injuries threatened the team early on, he kept a sub-3.00 ERA through July, and didn't lose his first start until May 30. Starting in late '98, Hideki turned back into a pumpkin and floundered throughout '99 before being dealt away to Montreal, in a deal where Expos management must have thought they were getting Cy Young. The New York Times recently checked in on Irabu, who still lives in the U.S. and is in the restaurant business in California:

Irabu, who was out of the country and could not be reached for comment, now enjoys relative anonymity. He lives with his wife, Kyonsu, and two children in a three-bedroom home in the hills of Rancho Palos Verdes, about 25 miles south of downtown Los Angeles. In his current hometown, the difference from Manhattan or Tokyo is as easy to spot as the horse trails that run alongside many of the streets. His main chore is checking in on a pair of Japanese restaurants he has invested in. “He has a good life,” Nomura said. As for the restaurant business, “one day he called me and said he was buying a udon shop,” Nomura said of the Japanese term for noodle. The fast-food shop was open for about a year, but closed late last year despite what neighbors in the industrial neighborhood of Gardena said was a brisk lunch-time business. Nomura said Irabu sold the business, but has two other restaurants, although he is not involved in their day-to-day operations.

One thing about that article- in the picture, Irabu is wearing a long Yankees jacket- in the middle of July. And that summer was hot, and now that I think about it, he was always wearing long sleeves. Thing is, that summer, in New York, Irabu t-shirts were everywhere. And as mentioned on his baseball-reference page, I still own two of them.

A Red Album Review From A Weezer Fanboy

King Tom — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 03:11:10 +0000

The problem with new Weezer albums is that they are almost always compared by reviewers to the group's previous efforts. Reviewers often make up for their lack of creativity or unwillingness to move on with life by mentioning the band's other efforts, previous bassists or frequent hiatuses. Unfortunately, this takes focus away on what the reviewer is supposed to be doing (reviewing a new album) and places it on the fact that the reviewer is living in the past. So here it is, a commentary on Weezer's recently released album, Weezer (2008, a.k.a The Red Album) that keeps mention of certain issues to a minimum. And by the way, we're not talking about the roody-poo ten-track CD that was issued. As far as I'm concerned, The Red Album is the 14-track "bonus/deluxe" edition. After a listen to The Red Album, three words come to mind: bold, fun, rock. For a band that has, in the past, perfected the 2.5 minute power pop song, this album is adventerous. This album features longer songs, increased use of synthesizers and other instruments, and different songwriters/lead singers throughout its 14 tracks. However, the most bold of all moves, especially for a band whose lead guitarist can shred, is the total lack of guitar solos. But the beauty of that move is they're not missed. These songs throw a lot out there. Case in point, The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn), showcasing about ten different musical styles, all united around a common theme in five minutes. Or Dreamin', another five-minute gem which takes a light pastoral break in the middle of the rock. On the surface, the two aforementioned songs aren't emotionally deep. The lyrics of TGMTEL are essentially five minutes of rock star posturing from Rivers, set against different genres of music. Not every track needs to whine with emotion. Weezer has succeeded in making quality rock that's fun to listen to and sing along with. This is not a lightweight album. If it's emotion you're looking for, consider The Spider or Pig, where Rivers contemplates his morality and place in the universe. There's also Pat Wilson-penned Automatic, which he calls "family rock." Or, probably the deepest song on The Red Album, The Angel and the One, a soaring number that just builds and builds before a long wind-down, much like the most underrated song on The Beatles' self-titled album, Long, Long, Long. The Red Album contains a lot of reflection, something you'd expect from Rivers, who a) wrote Pinkerton and b) meditates for fun. But not all of this introspection is in angst. Most of it drives the music and ties into the fun aspect mentioned earlier. Consider the album opener Troublemaker, where Rivers sings of his childhood wishes to be a rock star (complete with reference to that awkward phase in '99), or Pork and Beans, where he discovers he's just fine with himself. The introspection is all over the album, just not how you'd expect it. In recent interviews, Rivers has expressed an interest in expanding himself musically and lyrically. No longer content with "generic" sounding songs, he's mixing up arrangements, and even starting to write music from the perspective of other people. One of the unexpected gems of the album, Miss Sweeney is a good example of this. The song, about a boss who has some strong feelings for his assistant, features Rivers doing some quasi-rapping in the verses, followed up by big strong hooky rock for the choruses. Listening to the verses, you wouldn't think the song would amount to much, but as a whole, Weezer really knocks this one out of the park. With all of this considered, you really can't compare Red to any of the other Weezer albums. Band collaboration has increased exponentially. There are different songwriters and even singers. The band is in a different place when it comes to promoting the album and allowing their fans to hear what's been produced along the way. As I've mentioned previously, it's an exciting time to be a Weezer fan. And this is the perfect album for that time.

Attack of the Gives-You-The-Runs Tomatoes

King Tom — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:54:48 +0000

The Civee and I went to have lunch at a nearby place we frequent. One of their specials on Sundays is usually a BLT with Chicken Lemon Rice soup. But today, it was different. The Chicken Lemon Rice soup was served with a "Bacon and lettuce sandwich." Ew. If you've been to a restaurant or grocery store recently, you may have noticed a lack of fresh tomatoes on sale or used in dishes. Turns out, some salmonella-tainted tomatoes grown in two states have made some people sick and started a nationwide scare resulting in most food merchants ceasing the use of fresh tomatoes all together. But the FDA lists 46 states, countries, or provinces that are sources of safe tomatoes. Regardless, most vendors are overreacting and pulling tomatoes from everything for fear of being sued by someone who just happens to get an upset tummy and decides to place the blame on the store or restaurant being irresponsible. While at lunch a few days ago, I was talking with someone in the produce distribution business. He said the problem wasn't in the tomatoes, but in the way restaurants handled them. If there's some e. coli or salmonella on a fruit or vegetable, it can be removed by washing it. But a lot of places don't wash their produce properly. So for the next few weeks, until all settles down, things at restaurants will taste different. The true victims of this outbreak are those of us who enjoy fresh tomatoes.

Turbo Boost Probably Not Included

King Tom — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:49:55 +0000

When I was a kid, my dream car was KITT. Who wouldn't want a car that can jump over other cars, drive itself and talk back to you? A few months from now, I can plop down $270 and bring my childhood dream close to reality with a Knight Rider-themed GPS unit, featuring the voice of KITT, William Daniels. From autoblog.com:

The Knight Rider-themed GPS unit has voice prompts recorded by the one-and-only William Daniels, the original voice of KITT, and asks cordially "Hello Michael, where do you want to go today?" when powered up. The LCD display is also flanked by a series of red LEDs reminiscent of KITT's nose-mounted lights.

It's a cool idea, but I won't be getting one. I've never really had a need for a GPS unit. Although, if it could give an '04 Civic turbo boost and a molecular bonded shell, I might have to re-think that.

Come for the Furniture, Stay for the Meatballs

King Tom — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:39:52 +0000

For the past few months, The Civee has been bugging me to go to the new IKEA store that opened up in Cincinnati. She had gone there a few times on her own, but wanted me to go along in case we wanted to make any furniture purchases. Last weekend, we were in Cincinnati visiting relatives and had some extra time, so we stopped by Ikea. I have to say the place actually made furniture buying interesting. The prices were decent, and the furniture was actually nice. But what made the place totally worth the trip was the meatballs. The Civee had told me that while shopping, we could get some metaballs, which I envisioned as getting two Swedish Meatballs with a toothpick off a tray somewhere. But no, this was much more. Not some toothpick-stuck meatballs on a greasy napkin, but the promise of a full meal. There's a full-scale cafeteria in the middle of the store, with plenty of menu options. I got the meatballs, with a side of mashed potatoes and jam. For like five bucks. And it was damn good. There were a bunch of other items on the menu (Gravlax, half-chicken, Prime Rib) that I intend to try on future trips to Ikea. For the first time in my life, I'm actually looking forward to going furniture shopping. The Swedish are really on to something there with this food-in-the-middle-of-the-store concept. Who knows, if IKEA had been around when my parents took the younger King Tom furniture shopping, I might not have been such a bratty kid.

A Pox On Me

King Tom — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 01:42:34 +0000

Earlier this week, I had a few bumps on my legs, which I thought were mosquito bites. They changed slightly over the week to something resembling poison ivy. Considering the fact that the last time I had poison ivy, I had a rash over 90 percent of my body that was headed for my windpipe, I thought it would be a good idea to seek medical advice. Turns out I don't have poison ivy, but instead, chicken pox. I've already had chicken pox. In fact, I had it during the Carter administration. So that whole "you can't get chicken pox twice" thing is a lie. While everyone else will be enoying their three-day weekend, I'll be spending mine covered in benadryl cream trying not to itch. Why do I always get these weird skin conditions over holiday weekends?

She May Not Look Like Much, But She's Got It Where It Counts

King Tom — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:45:59 +0000

On Memorial Day of aught-seven, The Civee and I were wasting time walking through Home Depot hen we saw a sale on grills. It was a good deal and we bought one, beginning an obsession which has taken up many a late evening over the last two summers. I enjoy cooking. I'm not great at it, but as long as The Civee enjoys what the King is cooking (and from what I hear, she does), then I consider my efforts successful. In the cold months of the year, I'll take my time in the kitchen preparing dinner--often with her help. But from April to September, I enjoy taking my time outside (again, with her help), and since we got the grill, I've learned to prepare whole meals (desserts included) on the grill. However, I'll be the first to admit that it's not a great grill. To wit:

It's half-red.
The grates are waffle-patterened, and allow many a foodstuff to fall through.
The cooking area is small.
There's not enough room between the coal and the grates for on-the-coal cooking.

But somehow, I'm attached to the grill. All last summer, The Civee had to listen to me whine and moan about how much I wanted a real Weber grill. We even got a gift card to Home Depot for Christmas, which I said should be put toward the purchase of a new grill. After much prodding on my part, The Civee agreed, with the requirement that we but one when they're on sale. So far, we haven't seen one on sale and our purchase has remained on the back-burner. But last week, The Civee had a change of heart, saying that we should just bite the bullet and get a new grill. However, now, I'm not so sure. Maybe I've really enjoyed what I've been cooking as of late, or maybe I've inhaled too much smoke from the grill, but I'm content with what we have for now. We rent our place, and our grill is in a somewhat open area (our neighbors, who have not used their grill since we moved in, put their grill on the shared designated grill space) and I figure our little grill has gotten us this far, so why mess with a good thing? So until we move, or the grill breaks, or I burn down the neighborhood, I'll be preparing our summer meals on a little red grill with waffle grates. Should be a fun rest of the summer.

A Room With A View

King Tom — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 03:23:11 +0000

This was the view from a hotel room in Dundee Michigan. I dropped a few bucks at the outlet. But the best part was the free samples.

No Soup For King Tom!

King Tom — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:56:14 +0000

The other day, I was thinking of how to spend my daily "Hour of Me." I decided to hit up a new place in downtown Columbus, "The Original Soup Man." The "Original Soup Man" is a chain started by the real life Soup Nazi, the guy who inspired the classic Seinfeld episode of the same name. The Columbus location just opened recently. As I walked up, two signs were clear on the outside window, one listing the eight-or-so soups on hand that day, and another listing the rules: Know what you want, order promptly, step to the left and have your money handy. After reading the outside listing of soups and the rules, I settled on Jambalaya (if it was good enough for Newman, it was good enough for me). But when I stepped inside the restaurant, things were different. First of all, for a place designed to hold 30-40 people, it had about 20 employees milling about. Secondly, there was a menu on the wall that had a lot more than soup. The restaurant offered smoothies, sandwiches, salads and yes, soup. There was this annoying voice in my head saying "soup's not a meal" and I took a minute, standing by the back of the store to consider getting something in addition to soup. When I finally settled on a soup and sandwich combo, I stepped up and an employee with a notepad took my order. I was stymied when she asked what kind of bread I wanted it on, and what kind of fruit I wanted. I eventually figured out what she was asking (again, a lot more complicated than it needs to be for a place specializing in soup) and stepped to the left to await my lunch. The chicken sandwich was meh. Entirely forgettable. The soup, on the other hand, was spectacular. While I've had better jambalaya (it helps that my mother's side of the family is from Louisiana), the quality and taste of the soup was among the best I've ever had in a restaurant. I don't think I expected to get soup that good from a lunchtime restaurant. Say what you will about the Soup Nazi's business practices, but the man makes a fine cup of jambalaya. As I sat there with my empty tray, thinking about how next time, I'll just go for a bowl (because soup of this quality is a meal), I noticed something was missing. I didn't get any fruit. Was this in retaliation for my slow ordering? Or was it because I didn't like the sandwich. I hope this doesn't mean that I'm becoming George. At least they didn't tell me not to come back for another year.

You'd Hate For The Kids To Think You Lost Your Cuil

King Tom — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 03:48:54 +0000

This morning while riding into work with The Civee, a report came on NPR about this new search engine launched today by former Google employees (while The Civee and I drive in to work everyday, we don't really listen to NPR that often--or as often as The Civee would like). We started a discussion about whether another search engine could supplant Google both functionally and culturally. I argued no, saying that Google was simple, quick and easy to use. But The Civee chose to take a different approach, calling me out for my "blind loyalty" and saying it was possible for a search engine to be better than Google. Not wanting to be accused of being closed minded, I tried out the new search engine, called Cuil. I have to admit I was unimpressed. First of all, the search results come back in a table format (rather than a list). With the page title, a paragraph and sometimes an image coming back with the results, I didn't know what to check out first. Also, many of the search results were repeated, which was annoying. Cuil presents itself as the search engine for the next decade. But last time I checked, we're still in the aughts and people still like lists. However, rather than a misplaced sense of time, Cuil's biggest offense is what it leaves out. After googling, I'm sorry, Cuil-ing (is that even a word) King Tom's Kingdom, I got 0 results. Cuil claims to have an index of 120 billion Web pages. I think the Kingdom is a little more prominent than the 120,000,000,001th page on the Web, don't you think?

The Gateway Drug

King Tom — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 02:39:22 +0000

The computer on which I write entries for the Kingdom and do most of my Web surfing is a six-year-old Gateway model running Windows XP. Only in the past year has it started to like it's slowing down, and sometime in the next year or so, The Civee and I would like to get a new computer. As hinted at yesterday, I have tremendous product loyalty. I'm not stupid, I just follow the brands that are good to me. Since the early 90s, I've had two Gateways of my own, as well as the use of my parents and siblings computers, all Gateways. And I've never had a problem with the machines. One of the most enjoyable aspects of getting my current computer was customizing what I wanted in the box, and anxiously awaiting its delivery. Every now and then, with the prospect of a new computer on the horizon, I'll go to Gateway's Web site and play around with the options. But when I went to the site today, something was different- you couldn't play around. Gateway has changed to an indirect sales company. Last year, Gateway was acquired by another computer manufacturer, and I guess this is the first sign of a major change under the new ownership. The company's computers are still offered through other outlets (like Costco the Great), but without being able to customize, it's just not the same. With the change in ownership, this isn't really surprising, but rather, disappointing. Now, I'm actually considering changing brands when it is time to go computer shopping. Does anyone out there have any computer brands they reccomend? Two caveats: I don't trust HP desktops, mostly because I've always found Compaqs useless. And I'm not sure I trust Dell either, ever since Rivers Cuomo started keeping score:

If You're Going to the Ohio State Fair

King Tom — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 21:42:33 +0000

Do yourselves a favor and get a porkburger (or as they call it, "The Other Burger"). Easily beats the pants off of corn dogs, turkey legs, ears of corn, funnel cakes or any other type of fair food. Had to work there again for a few days this year, and it was a bit underwhelming. There wasn't a governor going down the giant slide, nor was a woman asking me to get her dying husband into the free Grand Funk concert. But considering it's been hot and is supposed to get hotter, I'm glad my fair days are over for this year.

The System Is Down

King Tom — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:44:44 +0000

This afternoon, upon returning to to work from my Hour of Me, something was awry- the e-mail server was down. No one could send or receive e-mails. If you wanted to talk to a co-worker, you had to call them, or (gasp!) walk to their office. I have to admit, it was a very productive few hours. Of course, when the system came back up (with just a half-hour to go in the day), I was slammed with requests to do (whatever) now. After experiencing an e-mail blackout for a few hours, I wouldn't mind, maybe once a month, a whole day of not having e-mail. It would allow me to catch up on all the little things that immediate communication puts a damper on. Of course, the next day, I'd probably need another catch-up day to go through all the e-mail I missed the day before.

Drunken Irabu Beats Up Bartender and I Reap the Rewards

King Tom — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 00:01:27 +0000

I know I'm a day late with this, but former Yankee hurler Hideki Irabu has been arrested in Japan for drunkenly beating up a bartender. Or beating up a bartender drunkenly. The key points of this story: he was drunk, and he beat up a bartender (not to mention downing 20 mugs of beer and afterwards, paying for the damage). From Yankee Blogger Pete Abraham:

Former New York Yankees pitcher Hideki Irabu was arrested Wednesday for allegedly assaulting a bartender after drinking 20 mugs of beer, a police official said.Irabu, 39, became angered after his credit card was rejected. He then allegedly pushed the bartender against the wall, pulled his hair and smashed at least nine liquor bottles at a bar in Osaka, western Japan, a police official said on condition of anonymity, citing department policy. The bartender sustained no injuries. Irabu paid the bill with another credit card. The police official said Irabu admitted the assault.

I feel compelled to report this because I sponsor Irabu's Baseball Reference page, and have noticed a slight uptick in the number of visitors in the past day. As noted on the page, I still have two Irabu t-shirts (but I don't remember the last time I wore either). The New York Times tried to check in with Irabu a few months ago, and I wrote about it here.

Carrying the Torch for Comedy

King Tom — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 00:10:27 +0000

In case you haven't been paying attention for the last 16 years, NBC has had broadcast rights to the Olympics (excluding the '94 and '94 Winter Games). Cross-promotion is in full effect even in years when there are no Olympics (I'm guessing those are the Olympic rings permanently affixed to the NBC on-air bug). But during the games, it's a bit different. Usually, NBC will pick one show (most of the time, a comedy), and run commercials that are actually, not annoying. To wit, the following promo has been running this summer where Michael Scott says what everyone thinks about beach volleyball: It looks like there are only a handful of The Office Olympic promos, which is a shame, because The Office creative staff can do some pretty funny stuff. The best set of Olympic promos came out in '92, when NBC enlisted the cast of Seinfeld to...um, carry the torch. They're not on YouTube, but transcripts are available on Usenet (remember that, kiddies). Here are some of the highlights:

Jerry sitting by his computer in his apartment. Jerry: Do you know the correct pronunciation of Barcelona is actually Barthelona? That's because, many years ago, the King of Spain spoke with a lisp and the members of the court, trying to curry favor with the King, adopted his unusual speech pattern. Absolutely true. Just a piece of Olympic trivia for you. I'm Jerry Theinfeld.

Jerry interviewing a gymnast, with the Olympic rings and the NBC logo in the background. Jerry: I'm here with 8 year old Kathy Kwan, star of the gymnastic team. You must be looking forward to the games, Kathy. Kathy: Yes, those games are very special to me. As I will retire when they're over. Jerry: Retire? You're kidding. Kathy: I'm not 6 anymore. Besides you have to give those youngsters a chance to make their mark. Jerry: What are your plans for the future? Kathy: I like to spend more time with my parents and watch them grow up.

Jerry and George in the Cafe. Jerry: Pass the cream, George. The guy with the torch runs comes in. George: Hey, look. Torch Guy: Hi, maybe you can help me, I'm lost. Do either of you know the way to Barcelona from here? Jerry: Well, I'd take the West Side Highway to the Cross Bronx. George: Hold, Hold. What are you nuts, at this time of the day. Listen to me. Take the FDR to the Major Deagan. Jerry: What are you talking about, the FDR is under construction. George: He's running.

For a script of all the Seinfeld Olympic Promos, visit this page from the alt.tv.seinfeld archive.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

King Tom — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 01:37:24 +0000

Long time no blog. Not because stuff hasn't happened, but I just really haven't felt the desire to blog. I got a new grill. Went canoeing with The Civee. Watched the Olympics, and parts of two political conventions (and I'm still on a sleep deficit from the Olympics to this day). And I'm still watching the Yankees, even if they don't have a chance for the playoffs this year. But I'm still around. Hopefully I'll start blogging again soon. The new grill is great. Maybe I'll write about that sometime soon.

The Grill of My Dreams

King Tom — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:45:59 +0000

As I mentioned last week, the old grill died. It wasn't a painful death, just one rendering the old grill useless. The handle broke off, which, at first, didn't appear to be a problem. Until I realized that the handle was attached to the 'shelf' the grill grate rested on, meaning that unless I wanted to counter-balance the grate with a rock, the grate would remain slanted with one end in the air and the other in the fire. No way to cook over hot coals. So The Civee and I bit the bullet and invested in a genuine American Weber charcoal kettle grill (pictured). And it's completely revolutionized my grilling experience. The ventilation is perfect for cooking over flaming coals, with the air going up through the device, rather than from side-to-side. Additionally, with a 24-inch diameter cooking surface, there's plenty of room to do a main course, vegetables, and whatever else I want to throw on there. And, most importantly, there's space between the coals and the food (great if I want to throw something, like, say an artichoke down there). So far in the two or so weeks we've had it, we've made chicken, pork, potatoes, corn, turkeyburgers, steak, salmon on a plank and porkchops on a plank. Cooking on the old grill was always fun, to an extent. But things would get crowded, or the heat would slowly die if I closed the top. Now, I don't have to worry, because here's a grill that was designed to cook with a top on (revolutionary idea). Now, if only the days weren't getting shorter and the weather wasn't getting colder, I'd have some more time to enjoy the new grill.

Those Two Little Words

King Tom — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 04:24:06 +0000

On a scale of 1-10, my interest in football ranks about a 1. And my interest in college football is even lower. Which makes me about one of ten people in Columbus Ohio who does something different every Saturday when the local college team has a game. For my first few years here, I was indifferent. I just didn't care. But my view has changed. As I said previously:

I admit that I’m an obnixous Yankees fan. But there are times in Columbus, when listening to people talk about the local college football team that I feel uncomfortable.

I wrote that last October, and I still feel that way. There are certain things that drive me crazy, one of which is the use of the phrase "go bucks." People use it to start and end sentences as well as everything in between. It's used as a salutation and a departing greeting. But what it really does is drives me crazy and encourages me to commit violence. If I knew anything about college football, I'd probably have something to throw something back in their faces, but until then I'm left searching for a witty rejoinder as I stew, waiting for the madness to end.

Report from the Dark Ages

King Tom — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:20:39 +0000

Last weekend, The Civee and I left town to attend a wedding. When we drove back Sunday, the remnants of a hurricane were sweeping through the area, knocking down whole trees (one of which just missed our car as we were driving down a two-lane quasi-country highway), ripping signs off billboards and inconveniencing people everywhere. When we got home, things were fine, but after a few minutes, we lost our cable (which also meant no phone or Internet). We were lucky not to lose power, because I know a lot of people who did. But it's weird going a few days with no internet or not being able to fast forward through commercials. And believe it or not, I actually had a few things to blog about. Now if only I can remember what they were I might get on a posting roll again.

A Holiday Recipe From King Tom

King Tom — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 03:50:15 +0000

Ahoy! In honor of the holiday tomorrow, I figure it's time to share a recipe. I made this last week, and it turned out pretty good. Enjoy, mateys!

Pirate Pork Chops

(because they're drunk and on a plank).

2-4 bone-in pork chops

1 bottle hard cider (I like Woodchuck Ale)

Marinate pork chops in cider for at least an hour.

1 cedar grilling plank

Soak plank in water for at least 25 minutes before cooking.

rub:

3 tablespoons kosher salt

4 tablespoons brown sugar

2 tablespoons black pepper

2 tablespoons smoked paprika (or pimenton)

1 tablespoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon dried tarragon

1/2 tablespoon cinnamon

Remove the porkchops from cider, pat dry and cover with the rub.

Place plank on grill and place porkchops on the plank. Cook ten minutes per side.

You can also serve grilled apples (quartered and covered in brown sugar and cinnamon) along with the porkchops. Grill the apples for about 15 minutes. If there's room on the plank, put them there, if not, they can go on the grill grate.

One Final Game

King Tom — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 21:22:00 +0000

I'm sure that at the beginning of this year's baseball season, most people were fine with the Yankees closing out the season on the road. They've made the postseason every year since 1993, and if that streak continued, the stadium's final game would be in the postseason, not on the first day of fall. Well, it's safe to say this season has been disappointing and rather than heading off to the postseason, the Yankees will finish the season on the road and the stadium's last game will be a game of little consequence against Baltimore. I remember the last time the Yankees didn't make the playoffs- the Yankees finished out the season against Detroit (at home) and there was an optimistic "wait 'till next year" feeling around the team. This year, that feeling is still there, but there's a lot of introspection over not how the team fell short this year, but also about the lifetime of Yankee Stadium. It's unfortunate but necessary that the building will be torn down and the Yankees are moving across the street. While my last time at the Stadium was in aught-two, I've been there more times than I can count, and I will miss the stadium. The greatness of the stadium isn't in the building, but what's happened there. The stadium bears no resemblance to the original structure, and it started falling apart ten years ago (right in front of my every Sunday seat, no less). While it has a lot of charm and character, it has little in the way of modern anemities, and can be uncomfortable at times (especially if you're 6'4" and trying to watch a game with no leg room). There's been a lot of back and forth between the city and the team on who foots the bill, but one thing that both parties have to do is improve the neighborhood around the stadium. While it's a big change, the new stadium means a great opportunity for change, not only for the team and its fans, but more importantly, the people who live in the area year-round. So I'll be checking out the coverage throughout the day, tune in for the game and I will follow the team for the remaining week or so of the season. I'm lucky that I have the memories I have of the place. And hopefully, I can get out to NY next year to check out the new digs.

Broadcasters Need To Eat Too

King Tom — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 03:23:48 +0000

You can blame the Morning Toast for this one. In the comments to yesterday's post about Yankee Satdium's final game, tMT said I should start a series about the times I've been to Yankee Stadium. I don't mind if I do. I wrote a rather lengthy, but somewhat general post about my memories of Yankee Stadium. While it was a nice look back, there are more to the stories than what I wrote. At least I hope they are. So in an effort to expand the blog content, I give you the very first post in an ongoing series called When I Was There.

Memorial Day, 1997 Orioles 8, Yankees 6 While my father took my brother and I to Yankees games numerous times growing up, our most prolific attendance came during the '97 and '98 seasons, when we had the "Sunday Plan," which gave us tickets to every Sunday home game, as well as a number of other games throughout the season. The three of us had a routine every gameday from the time we left our house, to what tollbooth to use on the GWB to what food stand to hit first. It was a great two-year run for the team, and we had pretty damn good seats- the third row back in the second level in Section 22. Here's an attempt at showing you what it was like (keep in mind these two pictures were taken more than ten years ago, and had I known I would've needed to make a photo montage, I would have taken better pictures.):

Memorial Day was one of those bonus days we got as part of the plan. The third-place Yankees were taking on the first-place Orioles, and the game was scheduled to be on ESPN, so there was something in the air that day. Before the game started, the three of us went to Sausages, Etc., the sausage stand right behind the Yankee offices and stadium pressbox. While it served as lunch for my brother and my father, for me, it was typically the first of many food stops on any given game day. We liked to start off at Sausages, Etc., because the lines were usually short and the staff more friendly than other stadium locations. The line this Memorial Day was actually a bit long. The three of us were standing behind a short guy in a suit. I whispered to my father "I think that's Joe Morgan," when without skipping a beat, the guy turned around and said "Yes, I'm Joe Morgan--and don't be afraid to say hello...I don't know why people never want to talk to me here!" Joe was actually pretty gracious. He shook my hand and we talked about the season as the line progressed. While he placed his order, he turned around and said that of the three sausages he ordered, two were for [broadcast partner] Jon Miller. Before he headed back to the booth, I got an autograph (which I think my brother is in possession of). Throughout the whole few minutes, neither my father nor my brother said a word. When I asked my father why he didn't say anything, he said simply "I hate Joe Morgan." (Of course, this was back before everyone else had the same opinion of Morgan as my father and way before he said Billy Beane shouldn't have written that book). The game itself wasn't that memorable (and I'm probably saying that because the Yankees lost) outside of a Tim Raines triple, Bernie Williams home run and Derek Jeter driving in two with a bases-loaded single. Last night, when talking with my father about the TV coverage of the Stadium's final game, my father said he was disappointed that when asked his favorite stadium memory, Morgan didn't mention his sausage stand run-in with the King, and a silent King Classic and t-shirt boy. You know what Dad? Me too.

That's No Pill, It's a Space Station

King Tom — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 03:30:42 +0000

Last week, when I was sick, I was trying just about anything I could (short of going to the doctor) to get better. Last year sometime, King Classic told me whenever he was sick, he loaded up on the vitamin C. Since not much else was working, I decided to take his advice. We were all out of vitamin C tablets at home, so when the Civee and I went to Whole Foods to get some dinner, I went searching. There were a few bottles that sold for around $20, which claimed their tablets packed between 100% and 200% of the daily reccomended amount of the vitamin. Not bad, but I wasn't sure I wanted to pay $20 for a bunch of vitamins. On the bottom shelf I spotted a larger-than-the-rest bottle selling for only $7 from 365 (the Whole Foods house brand). I turned it over to check the dose and was blown away...each tablet packed in a whopping 833% of the reccomended daily value of vitamin C. After wondering whether that was legal, or even safe, I decided to go for it. As surprising as the 833% was, I was in for an even bigger surprise when I got home. I opened up the bottle, took out the layers of cotton packed therein, got a nice whiff of something resembling orange, and dropped one of the pills into my hand, and found out these pills are supersized. The pills are absolutely huge (As you can see by the image, one pill is the size of a stack of six dimes). It's a good thing the label says 'chewable' because I would not have known what to do with these pills otherwise. And I have to admit, the taste isn't that bad. Anyway, I am feeling better this week--part of which I'm attributing to the ginormous vitamin C pills. Will I keep taking them? Probably. The bottle has 100 pills, so for the next three months, I can feel secure in the fact that I'm in no danger whatsoever of getting scurvy.

Tenure? Rickey's Got 16, 17 Years

King Tom — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 04:01:04 +0000

August 24, 1988 Yankees 7, A's 6 Growing up, I spent many a summer week enrolled in different YMCA camps in New York (Camp Pouch, Staten Island) and New Jersey (the Metuchen Y). A few times each summer, the camp would organize a field trip to a Yankees game. Our parents would pay for a cheap ticket to a day game, and the camp would bus us to the stadium with the counselors trying to watch over a group of kids in the stands. Pretty much every time, the seats were way up in the upper deck, in fair territory. (What a difference 20 years makes--today it seems impossible that there would be that many cheap tickets available to a Yankees game, even if it were a daytime game in the middle of the week). We weren't overly rambunctious- most of us would follow the games and cheer for the Yankees. Our favorite [collective] player would be whichever Yankee would acknowledge us. When we were seated in the left field stands, we'd scream Rickey Henderson's name until he waved. The other times we went, when we were in right field, we'd try shouting at Dave Winfield. Needless to say, Rickey had much more fans just because he had a better track record of acknowledging the kids. Anyway, this particular game, on August 24 1988, was during the last week of camp. Our bus was somewhat late leaving the camp- and our driver actually hopped the median right before the George Washington Bridge to get us to the stadium in time. Before the long trek up to our seats, our counselors took us to the gift shop. I used what little money I had on me to buy an '88 Yankees yearbook. A friend (whose name has long since escaped my memory) used his to buy a portable radio pre-tuned to the AM station which had the Yankees broadcast rights (this minor purchase will come into play later on). So us camp kids spent the game screaming for Dave Winfield and going unacknowledged. The game was slow, and Oakland scored the first three runs of the game before the Yankees scored on a Claudell Washington groundout (with Rickey scoring the run after stealing second). The A's scored another run and the score remained at 4-1 until the eighth. After what looked like a comeback started by two singles, Don Slaught hit a sacrifice tie to bring in one run, but the rally was soon killed. When the eighth ended, the counselors decided it was time to head home. We filed out of the stadium--my group was the first to arrive at the buses right outside, but we had to wait for a few other groups. As we left, the Yankees gave up two runs in the top of the ninth, meaning the score was 6-2 going into the Yankees' last frame. We stood outside the bus, getting updates from my friend who had the foresight to buy that little radio. Suddenly, the fans smart enough to stay were cheering–a Ken Phelps home run tied up the game and Rickey singled in the winning run. Yet most of the kids of the YMCA Camp Pouch were waiting outside the stadium. It was a good thing there was only one day of camp left that year, because the counselors who made the decision to leave early made the list. Even though this one should probably go under the 'When I Wasn't There' category, it was still a fun game. And I was there for eight innings of it. Remedy used to work as a vendor at the Stadium- and every now and then he'd get me a shirt or a cap. One of my favorites was a Henderson t-shirt (Interlocking NY on front, name and number on the back)- and I’d get made fun of whenever I wore it to school. Of course, growing up in New York in the mid 80s, I was one of maybe four kids in my school who was a Yankee fan. I'm just glad YMCA management didn't send us to Shea. *The titular line of this entry comes from one of the many great Rickey stories, some of which are available here.

Number Nine

King Tom — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 02:16:22 +0000

Since 2000, I've been to nine Weezer concerts. Yesterday evening, The Civee (who is not a Weezer fan) and I attended my latest, which took place in the Palace at Auburn Hills located pretty damn far away from Detroit. Even though I'm not one of the cool kids anymore (and it's debatable as to if I ever was), we had floor tickets and enjoyed the show from the crowd. To say it was an interesting Weezer show would not be giving the concert justice. The music was great. And the band did more songs than I'd ever see them do before. But the band seemed more alive this time. Up to and including my fifth Weezer show in December 2001, lead singer/guitarist Rivers Cuomo would stand in one place while capably performing the guitar and vocals. Since then, his presence has grown by leaps and bounds, as I mentioned during my last show:

Lead singer/guitarist Rivers Cuomo was like a human dynamo. He was way more chatty than ever before...didn’t mind letting others take the spotlight, letting every member of the band front at least one song. During El Scorcho, Rivers gave up lead guitar duties and actually walked/danced/staggered around the stage while singing.

The amount of action going on on the stage made 2005 Rivers look like he did during my very first show. Not only did Rivers sing and play guitar, he ran around the stage, danced, chatted up his band-mates, clapped, and delivered some blistering solos while jumping on a trampoline. There was a lot of life to the show, and that was a good thing. Opening acts Tokyo Police Club and Angels and Airwaves were more than capable of starting the evening. I hadn't heard any of the output of either band, but I enjoyed the sets (even if TPC sounded repetitive and A&A (or AVA as their shirts read) was a bit too dramatic). But when Weezer came to the stage in white matching overalls (which they later shed in favor of matching red tracksuits), it was time to rock. The setlist spanned their career, and each member got to take a few turns singing lead on a song. I do have two complaints about the setlist: It was virtually identical to the previous few shows and with the exception of a group-efforted My Name is Jonas and Brian-fronted Susanne, the older songs were strictly singles. I would have liked to have heard something along the lines of Don't Let Go, No One Else or Getchoo. But I guess when you try and cram six-plus albums worth of songs into one show, not everyone is going to get what they want. My only other slight complaint is the trading-off of lead vocalists. It's fine for Pat to sing his song "Automatic" or to turn in a cover of "(What's the Story) Morning Glory?" But it's still weird hearing Brian singing El Scorcho. Six of the show's songs were off the newest album, which were all strong performances. They actually pulled off a live version of The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, and I have to say I was pleased to hear them play Dreamin' (with recorded bird noises) in a live setting. Other highlights of the show included about 30 fans (including Scott's dad) joining them onstage in Hootenanny form for Island in the Sun and Beverly Hills. This was enjoyable, but about 25 of those fans had guitars--it would have been more interesting had there been a second tuba or some other instruments rather than 25 guitars. The band closed the night with a Rivers-fronted cover of Sliver and Buddy Holly. The band sounded tight throughout the show, but really shined (probably because Rivers wasn't distracted by the trampoline) with these two songs. I'm glad Weezer is still tight musically, and isn't afraid of trying new things. I'm also happy The Civee appeared to have a good time. The band has grown a lot in the few years I've been seeing them live, and I'm looking forward to the next tour--I just hope it's closer than Detroit.*

*I'm sure the city isn't crazy about me, but I can't stand Detroit. Driving to/through the city is a nightmare. If you're not getting lost, you're stuck in traffic or almost hit by some gigantic SUV going 95.

The Convert

King Tom — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 02:58:37 +0000

May 11, 1997 Yankees 3, Royals 2 One of my best friends in college was a guy named Jon, who was a teammate on the speech team. Jon was a year younger than me and hailed from the state of Wisconsin. As much as a Yankee fan as I was/am, Jon is a cheesehead (with the foam wedge to boot). On the night the Yankees won the '96 World Series, the team was at an away tournamet in Long Island. The team was staying in a seedy hotel in Hempstead (underneath the Fukudaya Sushi bar) and we gathered in one of our rooms to watch game six. Everyone cheered on the Yankees victory--that is everyone except Jon. Fast-forward seven months to May 11 '97. The defending World Champion Yankees were scheduled to host Kansas City and also hold 'Ring Day' ceremonies on a windy Sunday afternoon. My father had tickets as part of the Sunday plan, but for some reason which has been lost to time, neither King Classic nor Pete could attend. My father offered me our four tickets, and after asking Jon, he, myself and a girl named Gail took the train into the city and then the subway to the stadium. Like me, Gail was a Yankee fan and had been to the stadium many times before. But this was Jon's first time. We got to the stadium an hour or so before the ring ceremony was scheduled to begin and walked around some, showing Jon around. As we walked around, maybe it was because of the sales job that Gail and I did, or maybe because it was because it was Yankee Stadium, but Jon started to develop an appreciation for the team. We took our seats and watched video after video of the '96 team, followed by the ring ceremony. As fun as that was, the game was even better. The offensive highlight was Bernie Williams hitting a solo shot in the third, helping the Yankees cement their 3-2 victory. David Wells posted eight-plus strong innings and Mariano Rivera, who was in his first full season as Yankees closer walked one and struck out one to end the game. As the game progressed, Jon got more and more into cheering for the Yankees- a big change from his demeanor that night seven months prior. As we walked back to the subway, the three of us all got a chance to bang on Freddy's pan. We headed back to school, two of us longtime Yankees fans with another notch under our belts, and the third, a (at first) reluctant convert to Yankees fandom.

They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore

King Tom — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:13:49 +0000

Back in the day before music was purchased online or on small shiny plastic discs, One of the first audio tapes, most people got their music in the form of large wax/vinyl discs or on cassette tapes. The first tape I could ever call my own (because no one else in my family wanted anything to do with it) was "Weird Al" Yankovic in 3-D. I would play the tape over and over again on my small tape player/recorder, ensuring that "in 3-D" was not to be the last Yankovic recording I'd own. I still listen to Weird Al today (his songs come up frequently in my every-MP3-on-my-computer playlist), although I'm not as familiar with his recent few albums. It wasn't until reading a recent Wired article the other day though, that I realized Al has been making music for 25 years. From what I've heard of his recent stuff, it's good, but I'd rather listen to King of Suede than White and Nerdy. Sure, the newer stuff is still funny, but the material it's based on isn't as good musically as the material from the 80s. I don't care about the flavor of the week rap song of two years ago, but 80s pop (no matter how cheesy) will always reign supreme. Part of that could also be because of the diversity of what's out there to be parodied. Or, as Al puts it:

"Back in the '80s, 'Purple Rain' would be number one for half a year," Yankovic says. "You still have Top 40 radio now, but it's 40 different stations. There aren't many hits that everybody knows, and there aren't many real superstars. That makes it more difficult for me."

The article's overall hook is that Al is the forefather of YouTube parodies, of which there are many (I'm still barely caught up), which is kind of interesting considering the guy who made his living using other people's material has given inspiration to a whole new generation of artistic rip-off artists (I mean that with respect). It is nice to see Al get his due (and to see that I'm not the only one who considers UHF to be a stroke of genius). Even though he's been out there for 25 years, he's still touring and pumping out albums. Maybe I'll try listening to the next one with unbiased ears.

When I Was Your Age...

King Tom — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 02:13:48 +0000

Back in fourteen-ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, and yada yada yada, The Civee and I had the day off. When I used to work in news, I hated Columbus Day (along with Veterans' Day and a few others) because banks, government and the post offices were closed, but we had to work. Most of the times, except for the occasional local celebration, there was nothing else at all going on. And the one source of an easy news story (the government) wasn't working, making us dig even harder for something to cover. Now that I'm on the other side of the equation, I have the day off again. Growing up, Columbus Day was always the first day off in the school year, and back when I was in school, it was one of the few things in the fall that I looked forward to. But things have changed for kids these days. The Civee and I were out riding our bikes today, and we passed an elementary school, and the kids were getting out of school. On Columbus Day! At first I was outraged that kids would have school today. But then, I started thinking...when The Civee and I have kids, it would be nice if there were a day or two when they have school and she and I have the day off. The kids would already have the whole summer off--so what's a day or two here and there for mom and dad? I actually think it's a great idea--parents need days off apart from their kids. Adults need days off that kids don't have. Do whatever you want with it, just realize that you have the day to yourself, while kids all over are stuck in school. If it works out this way when our kids are in school, knowing me, I'd rub it in their face. The little brats deserve it.

Ringo's Got Your Letter; You've Got His Song

King Tom — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 23:12:55 +0000

Unless you're the gas, electic or cable company, Beatle Ringo Starr won't be reading or answering your mail. As he posted in a recent video on his Web site:

"Nothing will be signed after the 20th of October. If that is the date on the envelope, it's gonna be tossed...I'm warning you with peace and love I have too much to do. So no more fan mail, thank you, thank you, and no objects to be signed. Nothing. Anyway, peace and love, peace and love."

Every story I've seen about this gives the impression this is a bad thing because Ringo answering Marge Simpson's letter inspired her to paint again. But what everyone is forgetting is that twenty years earlier, as shown in the rockumentary Help!, Ringo faced multiple assassination attempts because he wore a ring he received through the mail. In his defense, Ringo was one of the Beatles and still tours and records music, so in addition to hand cramps, he's probably very busy. If he had this attitude back in the '60s, he would not have had crazies trying to paint him red and assassinate him. On a personal level, I think letter writing can be a good thing. In my youth, I was somewhat lazy when it came to letter writing (which may have translated into being lazy about blog writing as an adult). Case in point- when I was about 10, I met MAD Magazine publisher William Gaines while at dinner with my mother and ex-stepfather. Gaines was a friend of theirs and talked to me throughout dinner. As he was leaving, he told me if I wrote him a letter, he'd give me a free lifetime subscription to MAD. For some reason, I didn't do it. Years later, while reading a book about Gaines and MAD, I found out that he read every letter that came into MAD and was known for giving away subscriptions like they were candy. Stupidest thing I never did. But if Ringo doesn't want to answer any more letters, comment on paintings, or wear rings, more power to him. Peace and love Ringo. Peace and love. (Gear, Fab.)

The Mets Fan

King Tom — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:12:29 +0000

October 13, 1998 Yankees 9, Indians 5 (ALCS Game 6) My senior year of college I roomed with a friend, who shall go by the name of Frank Liscapital. Frank, because his first name was Frank. Liscapital wasn't his real last name, but he was memorialized in our college yearbook because the word "Liscapital" was added via hyphen to his last name because of his insistence that the 'L' in his last name was capitalized. Frank Liscapital was a good guy, with one failing- he was a Mets fan, and just as much an obnixous Mets fan as I was an obnixous Yankees fan. While the Mets didn't have much to be excited about in the '98 season, he was a huge Mike Piazza fan, and we had constant debates over who would have the better career from that point forward, Piazza, or Yankee flash-in-the-pan Shane Spencer. I can admit it today, but Frank won that debate. He repeatedly told me that summer and fall that it was "only a matter of time" before the Yankees' historic season ended. And in the ALCS, he was close to right. The Yankees won game one against the Cleveland Indians, but lost games two (at home) and three (in Cleveland), and for a few days, Yankees fans were nervous. It looked like for the second straight year, the Yankees would fall in the postseason to the Tribe, a team in the midst of a great run of its own. The Yankees won games four and five in Cleveland, sending it back to the Bronx for the possible clincher on a Tuesday night. My father called me at school that afternoon to tell me he had tickets (through the Sunday plan) and my stepmother wouldn't let my brother go to a baseball game on a school night, playoffs or not. I first called my friend Jon, but he had prior commitments. I figured that Mets fan or not, Liscapital might enjoy the game, so I asked him and he said he would meet my father and I in the parking lot when his shift at the radio station was over. Liscapital and I hopped in the car, and we went with my father to the stadium. My father and I were decked out in Yankees apparel. But Liscapital presented a problem. He was wearing a jacket over a t-shirt. The jacket was buttoned up all the way, but one versed in such things could clearly tell that the t-shirt was a Mets t-shirt (a Piazza name-and-number shirt). We didn't expect it to be much of a problem. Until we got to the stadium, and a few fans heckled Frank for the half-inch of Mets logo that peeked out from the top of his jacket. Frank had never been to the stadium, so I showed him around. We were on the field level, when he started waving to someone down on the field. He told me that one of the walkie-talkie guys on the field was a coach of some sort at his high school and had talked of working for the Yankees in his free time. I think I said something like "well, if you know him, you should have called so he could have gotten us on the field." Frank laughed it off and we quickly found our seats. The crowd was crazy that night. A few of the Cleveland players had made disparaging comments about the Yankees and the Bronx while the series was in Cleveland a few nights earlier, and the Yankees fans weren't about to let them forget it. Instead of hanging hand-drawn K's after a strikeout, fans in the upper deck hung pictures of hand drawn UZIs. As Indian (and future Yankee) David Justice stepped to the plate, the stadium erupted in chants of "Hal-le-Ber-ry," his recent ex-wife. And that pretty much set the tone for the whole night. Despite giving up five runs in five innings, David Cone pitched a solid game, striking out eight and leaving the game with the Yankees holding a 6-5 lead. While the crowd was nervous, the Yankees scored three in the bottom of the sixth to give them some insurance. The Yankees held on until the ninth, when Mariano Rivera sealed up a 9-6 win that sent the Yankees to the World Series. Dad, Frank and I hung around the stadium, me hoping that I'd get a chance to go to one of the World Series games (I would, but that's another entry) and Frank probably hoping that his Mets shirt would go unnoticed. As we left the stadium, we bumped into that guy Frank knew, who actually was some bigwig with stadium security. The guy told us something to the effect of "Frank, it's great to see you! You should have given me a call--I could have let you and your friends down on the field before the game." Thanks Frank.

They Say I Need Some Rogaine To Put In My Hair

King Tom — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 03:21:59 +0000

Earlier this year, I didn't think that there could ever be a better album cover than the then-released artwork for Weezer's sixth album. At the time, I said:

It’s far better for all future albums, CDs, tapes and eight-tracks to be released in brown paper wrapping than to try and compete with Weezer portraying the Village People.

For the most part, I still believe that. But (Weezer lead singer) Rivers Cuomo's upcoming solo demo album (second in a series of what we at the kingdom hope is hundreds) has an equally great cover:

Two awesome album covers in one year. Not to mention a bunch of new songs. Weezer fans are a lucky bunch.

Time Is Not Of The Essence, It Is The Essence

King Tom — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 22:32:25 +0000

If Lost fans were fans of any other show, by this point in the season, we'd be whining about how the show isn't going anywhere, coming up with nicknames for new characters we hate and would be frustrated with the will-they-won't-they nature of the show's relationships. But we don't have to do that. Instead, we wait and pine for the network to throw us some scraps or hints of the upcoming season. And here it is. The Lost Season 5 promo (thanks Dark UFO) (you may not want to watch if you're not all caught up):

(and if you're unsure about the title of the blog post, it comes from an official Lost video premiered over the summer, available here)

You Know My Name [Look Up My Number]

King Tom — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 01:01:59 +0000

A while back I was having a conversation with The Civee where she claimed that I don't use a person's name while speaking to them. For example, instead of saying "Hey Gustave, these are some kick-ass curly fries," I'd say "These are some kick-ass curly fries." She's right--I don't say people's names that often while talking to them. Unless I'm in a crowded room, chances are the person on the other end of the conversation knows I'm talking to them. But I think there's a subconscious reason for that too. A lot of times, I tend to blank on people's names, especially if they're a casual acquaintance. It's not that I don't care about the person to whom I'm talking, it's just of all the things my memory is good at, names usually aren't one of them. Last night, I was at a meeting and decided to greet someone using their name. Except, as I started to say it, I realized that I had their name wrong. So I ever so gracefully, while in the middle of the first syllable of their [incorrect] name, just covered my mouth and coughed. And then proceeded with the rest of the conversation, hoping they didn't notice. How do I avoid this in the future? Stop using people's names. Or become one of those guys who calls everyone "Ace," "Chief" or "Boss."

The Sweep

King Tom — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 00:12:08 +0000

October 27, 1999 Yankees 4, Braves 1 (World's Series Game 4) After graduating college, it took me nine months to find a job doing what I wanted to do. I spent from May through December of '99 sending out tapes and resumes to with TV stations around the country, snagging an occasional interview and little interest. To keep myself busy, I worked a few meaningless jobs and helped coach my former speech team. I'd travel to Seton Hall at least once a week, mostly on Tuesday nights and coach for a few hours. Tuesday October 26 was game 3, so I did my few hours of coaching then hung out with my friend Jon (the convert) to watch the game. It was an exciting game with the Braves coming out to an early lead, followed by the Yankees coming back and finally winning it as Chad Curtis took center stage at the plate and on the mic. Jon and I were Chad fans from a game a few years earlier (I have yet to get to in this segment) where he started in left field and acknowledged our cheers. Having the game end in extra innings on a walk-off home run was exciting. As I left and headed for home, I said something to the effect that there's little that can happen the next day in game four to top game three. Had I known I'd be going to game four, I might have not said something so stupid. Sometime early that Wednesday, a friend of my father's gave him tickets to game four. For some reason, King Classic couldn't go. So I called up Jon, who bowed out of a LCS game the year prior due to school newspaper commitments, and Setonian be damned, he was in. I picked Jon up at Seton Hall and we drove my old car (an '87 Buick Century Limited I held on to until aught-three) to the stadium, encountering little traffic on the way in. Our tickets weren't that bad. We were field level on the first base side, but in the very last row. The only drawback to the last row is there's about three fewer inches of legroom in the row, but that wasn't a problem, because we stood for most of the game anyway. On our way into the stadium, some fans were passing out photocopied signs that read 'Ban Jim Grey.' I snagged one and actually think I still have the collector's item somewhere in my possession. Roger Clemens, who never seemed to fit in during his first year as a Yankee started the game and held the Braves scoreless through seven, before allowing two runners in the eighth, one of whom eventually scored off Jeff Nelson. The Yankees had scored three runs in the third off a pair of singles by Tino Martinez and [Hip-Hip] Jorge Posada. So between the third and eighth, all we were doing was hoping the Yankees could hold the Braves to as little damage as possible. Thankfully, the Braves only scored one in the eighth. There was a big debate this point among some fans to the right of us whether the Braves should bring in controversial reliever and grade-A jackass john Rocker to keep the game close. Braves manager Bobby Cox didn't do that, instead throwing out lefthander Terry Mulholland who was utterly ineffective in one season as a Yankees starter in '94. Jim Leyritz was brought in to pinch hit for Darryl Strawberry and bolstered my confidence in the ineptitude of Mulholland with a home run off the lefthander. The Yankees didn't need any more offense, as Mariano Rivera threw a scoreless inning and a third to close out the game, with the World Series ending as Keith Lockhart's pop fly landed in Chad Curtis' glove. Other than Roger Clemens dancing on the dugout, the team didn't celebrate much as Right Fielder Paul O'Neill's father died the night before. The fans weren't so subdued, as Jon and I hung around for a while, before heading back to Jersey. Of course, I realized early on that day that it would be much, much better than the day before.

Lando Wants Your Vote

King Tom — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 06:21:07 +0000

I didn't even see this race on my ballot!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I'm kind of disappointed that Lando picked Chewbacca as his running mate. I always thought Lobot was the real one who got things done in Cloud City. Maybe he's the one really running the campaign. I should say, Billy Dee is looking much better than the last time I saw him.

Chicken for [Christmas] Dinner

King Tom — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:39:58 +0000

Last night I had a dream in which I was on summer vacation, grilling some chicken. A news report came over the radio announcing the Earth was being invaded by aliens. For the most part, these aliens meant no harm--but they were fixated on chicken. They wanted to eat all of the Earth's chicken. As I stood there grilling my chicken, I was approached by a number of aliens who were dispatched thanks to my quick thinking and creative use of some garden implements. Like I said, it was just a dream. Well, this morning, The Civee and I were driving into work and listening to NPR (The Civee's choice, not mine) and they ran a story about the Japanese Trend of chicken for Christmas dinner:

While eating chicken on Christmas is popular here, many may prefer to stick to a Japanese tradition that dates back to the 1970s: heading to the nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken, where a set of roast chicken, cake, salad and a commemorative plate sells for 5,300 yen.

I'm already hoping to have a non-traditional turkey-less Thanksgiving. I wonder if this dream and subsequent news about Japanese Christmas traditions is a sign that I should consider grilling this Christmas.

So Long, Survivorman

King Tom — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 04:15:13 +0000

For my money, Les Stroud (a.k.a. Survivorman) is the hardest working man in showbiz. The premise of Survivorman is simple: Les spends a week alone in some wilderness area somewhere in the globe with few (if any) resources and is responsible for not only his own survival, but recording the whole thing himself. In other words, as viewers sit in their climate-controlled homes on comfy couches with an assortment of snacks at hand, Les is living in some cold (or hot) place, trying to start a fire and if he's lucky, munching on a handful of bugs while making sure he's in the camera frame. The show is great and it's amazing the situations Les gets himself into and out of. For those of you into Lost, he's like a real-life Locke, except (as far as I know) he wasn't once paralyzed and has both his kidneys. But after three seasons, I don't blame Les for hanging up his multi-tool. From the CBC:

"You can only do seven days surviving without food a certain number of times a year. I'm pleased with what I have done, I've been copied around the world, but 25 times I've not eaten anything for a week while sleeping on rocks. I need to move on," he said.

If you haven't watched Survivorman, I implore you to give it a shot. It's definitely worth watching and (re-watching). Just like the castaways on Lost, if there was someone I'd count on to make sure I survive, it would be Les (even if he can't catch a fish). If I'm ever in a survival situation (that doesn't involve take-out), I'll think of some tips I've learned from watching Les:

Talking to yourself actually helps.
Put your bait inside your traps before setting them up.
Don't eat too much rabbit (or drink too much coconut juice).
Punky wood is the best for starting a fire.
You can start a fire with two sticks and a lot of hard work.
When you sweat, you die.

Something I Should Have Done A Long Time Ago

King Tom — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:18:44 +0000

I've been a member of AOL since sometime in 1992. And today, I'm declaring the era of AOL as my primary online identity (e-mail address, etc) over. To put that in historical perspective:

Mel Hall was on the Yankees roster.
The British Bulldog was the WWF Intercontinental Champion.
Weezer had barely been a band for six months at this point.
Timothy Dalton was James Bond.

I gave up AOL as my ISP three-plus years ago. And now, after being fed up with unreliable Web mail service and ads at the bottom of every e-mail, I'm switching to Gmail. I've had Gmail for a while, but out of some sense of loyalty have always given out my AOL SN first. Well, no longer. I've set up Gmail to import my AOL e-mail automatically, which it's done a good job of doing. And today, Gmail rolled out their themes, which are pretty entertaining. Plus, it's free, with no ads in the outgoing e-mail, so I'm going to stick around. My independence begins now.

Puppet Time With Rivers Cuomo

King Tom — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 01:49:21 +0000

From next week's Alone II, the video for My Brain (Is Working Overtime):

Rivers Cuomo: Alone Again

King Tom — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:02:57 +0000

If there was ever an album that I'm predisposed to like, it would be Alone II: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo. The second in a series (of hopefully many) of albums of [Weezer lead singer's] Rivers Cuomo's home solo demos gives listeners a chance to hear some of the songs that weren't big radio hits (or necessarily tunes that made a Weezer album), but are instead some of Rivers' favorite compositions. This album is the Empire Strikes Back to Alone I's A New Hope. While Alone I was good and gave the fans a taste of songs they'd been waiting to hear, Alone II is deeper and more emotionally satisfying. Alone II actually flows as a comprehensive album. The only drawback to the album-not everything is epic or even great (similar to Alone I). There are two song snippets that don't stand up on their own. And the three tracks representing Songs From The Black Hole are more exposition for the overall SFTBH story than songs that stand up on their own (with the possible exception of Come to My Pod). Other than those five tracks, the rest of the album consists of songs that could have made any Weezer album, and a few that could be big radio hits. They're enjoyable songs with no embarassing boy band-style attempts at music like Alone I's This Is the Way. Some of the songs, like The Purification of Water, My Brain is Working Overtime and The Prettiest Girl in the Whole Wide World have already been circulated in a live or inferior quality version amongst fans. In those cases, it's great to have those songs in an official version. As a fan bordering on the obsessive, for me, the gem of the album is actually its liner notes. I described last year's liner notes as "detailed," but Alone II's liners put those to shame. The booklet is a 28-page chronological journey through Rivers' songwriting life. He's brutally honest with the places he was in during his lows, as well as how analytical he could be with his obsessive of writing the perfect song. However, it sounds like he has regained his confidence and is in a better place. Either way, I'm looking forward to any other writing projects he may have in his future. As well as the musical ones.

Welcome Back To Columbus

King Tom — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 02:13:43 +0000

The Civee and I spent the past week visiting my mother in Portland, Oregon. In Portland, the weather is nice (categorized as nice by virtue of being above freezing), the landscape varied and the food choices/cultures abundant. We returned to frigid Columbus today, and tired of our travelling, we decided to keep it simple and order pizza. I called to have it delivered from a place that shall go nameless (*cough PAPAJOHNS *cough) and had the following conversation:

Him: Hello and thank you for calling --- would you like to try the deluxesuperfamiliyvaluedealfortwentyfiveninetynine? Me: Excuse me? Him: Would you like to try the deluxe super family value deal for twenty five ninety-nine? Me: What is included in that? Him: Ummm...I'm not sure. Hold on a second. Me: Nevermind. I'll have a large pie. Him: We don't sell pies, we sell pizzas. Me: Ever hear of a pizza pie, chief? Him: Oh. A large pizza. Me: Yeah, half plain, half sausage peppers and onions. Him: Sooo...on that one side, no cheese or sauce?

How tough is it to order a freakin' pizza on a Saturday night? A few days ago I was having this great Phở and now I have to convince a guy working at [CENSORED] that yes, I do want a pizza with cheese and tomato sauce. Oh well, at least I didn't have to order from Donatos.

King Tom Is Not An Anti-Dentite

King Tom — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 15:06:23 +0000

As I type this, there is a package containing $15 in random change on its way to the office of my former dentist, and I cannot wait 'till it gets there. The dentist, of whom I had been a patient for about four years, is charging me $15 for copies of my records. During the four years I had been a patient, I never had a wait time shorter than 35 minutes. Add to that her staff "forgetting" to get a permanent crown made for me (twice!) and the fact that I moved to the other side of town and you could see why I wanted to change the person who I pay to stick their fingers in my mouth. Last year, the Civee started going to a dentist a few blocks away from us, suggested I try him out and I figured a clean break from Dentist #1 was necessary. I called Dentist #1, asked them to send my records to Dentist #2 and thought that was that. Until I received a bill for $15, which Dentist #1 claimed was for copying the X-Rays, standard procedure in her office. It wasn't the amount, but the fact that she was charging me for this that kicked my stubbornness into high gear. I am not an anti-dentite. This is all about the principle. I sent her a kind letter saying her office never said they would charge for the records and that I'm legally entitled to a copy of my records free of charge. She responded saying there's a state law saying they can charge (nevermind the fact that federal law supersedes state law), and I dismissed her letter until we received a second notice. At this point, the Civee urged me to pay so this wouldn't affect our credit history. I agreed, but would do so in my own manner. My own manner being the least convenient, but legal way short of sending the money in McDonald's bucks. So I went to the bank, asked for $15 in change, packed it up tightly (along with a note asking for a receipt--I resisted the urge to write 'Keep the change, ya filthy animals' on the note as well), took it to UPS and sent it off. While filling out the packing slip, I didn't list anything under the contents, but under the declared value, I put $15. So is going through the work of paying a bill in change (not to mention paying the cost of having that change sent) a pointless exercise? Maybe, but it makes me feel a lot better. Unless one of those coins is a double-die Denver mint penny. Those things are worth a fortune.

Nothing Says Christmas Like A Bear Holding A Rifle

King Tom — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 04:24:14 +0000

For those of you looking for the perfect ornament for your Christmas Tree/Festivus Pole, may I suggest "Sniper Bear":

Or if that's not your speed, may I suggest this lovely Christmas-themed mug featuring our nation's 42nd President:

Chicken for [Christmas] Dinner (This Time With Recipes)

King Tom — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 02:33:22 +0000

In the past week, I've gotten many hits on the Kingdom from people googling Christmas Chicken Dinner. I haven't seen this kind of traffic since Jean Smart was in the cast of 24. The only problem, the post involving those key words doesn't really contain any information about chicken for Christmas dinner. In the interest of serving the public, I share some of my favorite chicken recipes. Depending on what floats your boat, they could go well with the whole Christmas thing.

Chicken and Bean Soup

2-3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts cut into strips

1 cup dried white beans

5 leeks (quartered lengthwise, sliced crosswise, washed and trained).

1/3 stick of butter

6 tablespoons olive oil

3 bay leaves

4 large garlic cloves, minced

1 teaspoon tarragon

1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

2 quarts chicken or vegetable stock

5 carrots trimmed, peeled and diced

1/2 pound potatoes, peeled and diced

1 medium fennel bulb, trimmed and diced

14-ounce can Italian peeled tomatoes, chopped

Freshly grated Parmesan cheese (none of the powdered stuff in the green container)

For the pesto (optional):

5 large garlic cloves

Pinch of Kosher salt

2 cups fresh basil leaves

1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese

1/3 cup Olive Oil

Soak beans in cold water overnight. Sautee leeks in 2 tablespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a large pot over moderate heat, stirring frequently for 1/2 hour or until leeks turn dark golden brown. Add bay leaves, garlic, tarragon, fennel seeds and pepper, stirring for 1 minute. In a separate pan, sautee chicken strips in 2 tablespoons olive oil until browned. Drain the beans, add to leek mixture. Add the stock and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat, add browned chicken strips and simmer, covered for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until beans are tender. Make sure soup does not boil. While the rest is simmering, cook carrots, potato, fennel bulb and orange zest in remaining olive oil in a separate pan, stirring often, until vegetables brown. Stir vegetables and tomatoes into soup. Cook soup over moderate heat for 5 minutes. Serve topped with the grated cheese and pesto. To make the pesto: Mash garlic and salt, pounding vigorously into a paste. Gradually add the basil as you mash. Add cheese gradually until mixture reaches the consistency of a soft butter. Gradually stir in the oil. You could do this in a food processor, but that takes away all the fun.

Honey Nut Chicken Sticks

1 pound chicken tenders

Salt and pepper

1/2 cup of flour (whole wheat or all purpose)

1 eggs

1/4 cup milk

1 cup of honey nut corn flakes

1/2 cup bread crumbs

1/2 tablespoon sweet paprika

1/2 tablespoon poultry seasoning

1 tablespoons steak seasoning

1/4 cup vegetable oil

Preheat Oven to 400 Season the chicken with salt and pepper. Place the flour in a large, shallow. Coat the chicken in flour. Beat the eggs and milk in a shallow dish. Combine the cereal, bread crumbs, paprika, poultry seasoning, steak seasoning and vegetable oil in a food processor. In batches, dip the flour-coated chicken into the egg mixture and then in the breading and place on then place on a nonstick cookie sheet or aluminum foil. When all of the tenders have been coated, bake 15 minutes or until evenly browned and cooked through. Cool enough to handle and serve. Use warm barbeque sauce (Montgomery Inn), honey and steak sauces for dipping.

Artichicken Pasta

1.5 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts

2 carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch slices

1 green pepper, chopped

1 onion, chopped

Whole wheat flour

1 can of artichoke hearts

1/2 cup chicken broth

1/2 cup cream

1 box spaghetti

2 tablespoons olive oil Cook spaghetti for 10 minutes in a pot of boiling water. Coat chicken in flour. Sautee chicken in olive oil until browned. Add chopped carrots, green pepper and onion. Cook for five minutes or until vegetables soften. Add artichoke hearts and cook for another two minutes. Add chicken stock and deglaze the pan. Add cream and cook for five minutes. Drain spaghetti and toss into pan with chicken and vegetables. Cook over low heat for two minutes.

The French Connection

King Tom — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:35:52 +0000

Hi , i'm the webmaster of [redacted], and i see u're website http://www.the-king-tom.com who's had a PageRank of 0 and , i would know if u want to exchange a backlink with me ? . If that's okay , can u put this backlink on you're homepage : [redacted] Thanks to give me you're backlink and i put on my homepage ( PR 5 ) Excuse Me for my english , but i'm french. Best Regard Webmaster -E-mail received earlier today from a French visitor

I know I haven't posted in a while, but this is ridiculous. It's been 13 days since I've last written (and the last post was a collection of recipes rather than the usual intellectual highbrow thoughts presented here at the kingdom). I've been thinking, but nothing has really inspired me--and I doubt people want to read me complaining about the cold. But today, inspiration came to my e-mail box. First, I received note that the one little bit of "marketing" I do for the Kingdom is set to expire at the end of the month. It's not that much, so I'll pony up to re-sponsor the page of the Yankees' greatest Japanese pitcher. The only trick is remembering to do so. I have two-and-a-half more weeks. The second thing to hit my e-mail box is the e-mail I've included at the top of this post. I'm not going to publish the guy's name or Web site, but this guy in France wants to include the Kingdom as part of his directory of French Web sites. Granted, if I were to write him an e-mail in French it would probably come out as bad as his did in English (and that's with six years of French classes!). Still, after seeing his site, I doubt it would help me with traffic and I'm fine with this site being read by the five people kind enough to visit whenever they do (thanks Mom!) and those who come here expecting something else. So to those of you who visit, there will be more writing in the coming days, weeks and months (with Lost starting in less than 16 days, you can bet I'll have something to write about). And thanks for stopping by.

Pie From The Sky

King Tom — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 00:28:07 +0000

I'm a fan of finding new and interesting ways of cooking things. That's why a recent posting from Popular Science is setting the idea wheels in motion. The PopSci Web site answers the question: If You Dropped a Corn Kernel From Space, Would it Pop During Re-Entry? Unfortunately, the answer is mostly inconclusive:

If an astronaut were to throw a watertight kernel out of that space shuttle moving at 17,000 mph, would the kernel reach hot enough temperatures to pop as it flew through the atmosphere? It’s possible, says Kenneth Libbrecht, a physics professor at the California Institute of Technology, but he can’t run the numbers to say for sure, because no one has measured how much friction a kernel generates when it moves through the air.

We need to get the boys (and girls) in the lab working on this one right away. If possible, this sets the stage for a revolution in meal preparation. All cooking is is the addition of heat to food, and one could harness this for a profit. Don't go stealing this, but here's the idea: When the Space Shuttles have outlived their usefulness, send them up to space as orbital kitchens. You want a pizza? Chinese Food? Roasted chicken? Just call and the chefs in the shuttle will put the ingredients together and just drop it into orbit so your meal lands on your roof. And probably crashes through, destroying your house. On second thought, maybe they should just stick to finding out whether ants can sort tiny screws in space.

Weezer! --The Musical

King Tom — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 02:55:15 +0000

Word on the street is that the Harview Eastern Drama Club's spring production will be Weezer! --The Musical. Here's some footage from the auditions: Some other footage from Rivers Cuomo's Stereogum Sessions: Rivers and a cast of people so famous I've never heard of them performing Can't Stop Partying. Rivers, accompanied by Here Comes Treble performing Don't Worry Baby.

Yet Another Long Day For Jack Bauer

King Tom — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 01:32:23 +0000

So I caught the first two hours of Day 7 of 24 last night, and while I'm not doing cartwheels in the hope that it will be a great season, I'm hopeful because it seems better than last season. So far. Day 6 opened strong, with Jack killing Curtis and a nuclear bomb going off in suburban L.A. That wasn't the only bomb for the season--the day quickly went downhill, featuring Jack teaming up with Rain Main to hunt the terrorists, going up against his father and being a witness to the killing of Charles Logan, one of the best characters on the show. This season so far is more grounded, but it has some problems:

CTU is no more.
The First Husband is a psycho.
Once again, there are moles all over the place.
Tony Almeida is not only alive, but (seemingly) evil.

I can do with the first. But I'm getting tired of moles in every government classification from vice president on the way down to postal carrier. I'm sick of crazy relatives of powerful political figures. And like Jack, I don't want to believe Tony is bad. Still, it's nice to see Jack in action and sticking it to a Congressional committee. Only time will tell if this season can save the show.

This Is A Song About A Superhero Named Tony

King Tom — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 03:01:14 +0000

About twenty years ago, Randy "Macho Man" Savage and Hulk Hogan teamed up to form the Mega Powers, a union that gave fans what they wanted- the ultimate good guy wrestling tag team. The Mega Powers decimated everyone in their way, before imploding and turning on each other. Last night on the third and fourth hours of the seventh longest day of Jack Bauer's life, we found out Tony Almeida (who cheated death) wasn't evil, but "undercover." Jack busted Tony out of FBI custody, learned Tony was working with Chlöe and Bill Buchanan and teamed up, forming with Tony the 24-universe equivalend of the Mega Powers. Combine that with the return of Jack Bauer's man purse (or the Jack Sack, if you will) and you have the beginnings of what could be a turnaround for the fortunes of 24. I'm not saying all is forgiven. There's a lot not to like this season. To wit:

Jeaneane Garafolo serving no purpose on the show other than to rip off Chlöe.
That FBI guy who says "we're not CTU, we're the FBI and we follow the law" every other scene.
The neurotic First Husband.
The fact that everyone in the government, including the Attorney General and commandant of the Merchant Marines are moles.
This nebulous link between the Sangala warlords and the evil terrorist organization determined to rule the world that's causing so much havoc this season.

All that said, while this season has opened much slower than last season, it has a better foundation. And the Mega Powers' escape from the FBI was pretty cool.

The Force (in Magazine Form) Is No Longer With Me

King Tom — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 22:34:41 +0000

If such an entry had existed in my high school yearbook, it's likely I would have been voted Most Likely to Dress In Costume While Attending a Star Wars Convention. Well, it probably wouldn't surprise my friends from way back when that I did attend a Star Wars Convention, but they'd probably be bummed that I did not wear a costume. Back in aught-five, my friends Ryan, Brian and Jen (Brian's Civil War-reenacting wife) made a trek out to Indianapolis for the Star Wars Celebration, the official SW convention, which just so happened to be scheduled for a month before the release of Revenge of the Sith. Back then, to get a good deal on tickets, I signed up for the Star Wars fan club, which included a subscription to the Star Wars Insider magazine. Not only did we get discounted tickets, but a supposed special access pass, which we didn't really need. When we got to the convention center, we picked the shortest line, which ended up being a presentation by George Lucas, a nice way to start off a whole day of geekdom. Even though the convention was a few years ago, I never got around to cancelling my fan club membership. I kept getting the magazine, and while I'd flip through it, it never really held my interest. With the last movie coming out three years ago, how much new Star Wars news is there going to be? The other day, I got a card in the mail saying my membership would be automatically renewed. Because it's time that I started paying attention to things I receive in the mail, I gave them a call and cancelled my subscription, and with it, my membership in the Star Wars fan club. Even though I'll still be a fan of the saga, it is somewhat liberating. While I'll watch the Clone Wars TV show, I don't pay too much attention to the Expanded Universe, which is where all the new action is anyway (unless George wants to do a special Sepcial Edition). I suppose if I want to follow the universe from here on out, I can do it online, where it's free.

I'd Like To Do A Jack Bauer On My Cable Box

King Tom — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 04:55:48 +0000

For some reason, my cable box decided to go out in the middle of tonight's 24. I missed (what I'm guessing was) minutes 5-25 of tonight's show. While I'm not entirely happy with this, all I have to say is if this happens Wednesday night, there will be hell to pay. That being said, from what I was able to watch: Not enough Jack tonight. Too much FBI. I don't care about them. Their holier-than-thou attitude makes them very unsympathetic. And Special Agent Jeanene Garafolo still hasn't grown on me. Also, please tell me which alternate universe 24 exists in where the federal government can respond to alleged civil rights violations in five seconds flat while not making any headway into solving the identities of those behind the terror plot. Speaking of the FBI, Special Agent Jeanene's associate (good ol' whatshisname) is really irritating, even moreso than her. I'm guessing he's the mole. Because of the hair grease. Why the hair grease? Well, the main terrorist (the guy who Jack's boss reported to) also used a bit too much hair grease this morning. So did one of the evil secret service agents. Remember back in season 1 how all the good guys used Macs and the bad guys used PCs? Well, I'm calling it now. Bad guys, hair grease. Good guys, natural and fluffy. I was also disappointed in the paucity of Bill and Chlöe (aka Shadow CTU). Were they doing anything at all this hour? Was it their lunch break? Speaking of CTU, I know the creators really wanted to switch things up this year, but killing CTU was a bad decision. It was a great set and added a lot to the story. Now, we are to believe the FBI can save the day when it looks like all their agents are filing their TPS reports and getting ready for their 3:30 meeting the corporate. One more thing. The ending would have been far more shocking had Lost not already done the same thing. That reminds me. Only two more days.

The Show With A Plan

King Tom — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:55:28 +0000

Trust me, this will eventually be about Lost. Over the past few weeks, The Civee and I have been re-watching Alias, a show that we would watch "together" during our dating days (since we were cities away, we'd talk on the phone during commercial breaks than hang up on each other as soon as the show came back on). It was a fun show, one we both enjoyed. It had moments of greatness, but overall, the show was frustrating for fans because of three things that had to do more with the creator (J.J. Abrams, who would go on to help create Lost) and backstage happenings than the stories told on the show. Alias was a let down because of: - There not being an end-point for the story from Day 1. - The failure of the network to get a key actress to commit to a second season, leading to storylines being scrapped and hastily re-written to accomodate her disappearance (not to mention other cast changes brought about by the interpersonal relationships of actors). -J.J.'s short attention span and abandonment of Alias (for Lost) in seasons four and five. If there had been a clear path and had storylines played out like they were supposed to, then the fate of Alias would have been different. Thankfully, both the creators of Lost (which returns tomorrow) and the network seemed to have learned their lesson. Alan Sepinwall, TV critic for New Jersey's Star Ledger has (in what has seemingly become an annual tradition) published an interview with Lost Co-Creator Damon Lindelof, who explains that these things don't happen by accident:

But more importantly, if "Stranger in a Strange Land" -- which, universally, is (considered) the worst episode we ever produced -- had not been produced, we would not have been able to convince the network that, "This is the future of the show: how Jack got his tattoos. Everything we've been saying for two years about what's to come, is now all here on the screen. You argued that an hour of Matthew Fox in emotionally-based conflicts, it doesn't matter what the flashback story is, it'll be fine. But now that we're doing his ninth flashback story, you just don't care." We can't go back and apologize for the creative mistakes that we made, because we had to make them. If that episode hadn't been made, we weren't able to get a notes call that said, "We don't like this episode," and where we could then say, "We don't like it, either, but it's the best we can do if we're not moving the story forward. And we're now at a point, guys, where we can't move the story forward." And they asked, "Well, what would you do if we allowed you an end date?" And we said, "Give us an end date, and we'll tell you what we'll do." And the conversations then reached a new pitch. Everything has to happen the way it happened.

It's a great interview with not only hints of things to come, but some explanations as to why some things ended up the way they did. It seems as if they're avoiding the pitfalls that sunk J.J.'s earlier brainchild. And as someone who has followed both shows, I'm glad they have both a committed cast and crew and an endgame in sight. As for me, I'll be on the couch between the hours of eight and 11 tomorrow evening. I pity the fool who tries to interrupt the return. By the way, if you want something to look forward to, check out the first clip on this page. It's only quasi spoilerish.

I Wish I'd Read That Book By That Wheelchair Guy

King Tom — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 04:27:51 +0000

After eight months, Lost picks right up from where it left off with two new episodes, Because You Left and The Lie. The show which seemingly juggles genres finally started probing two issues that it had hinted at in earlier years--time travel and (well, for the first scene at lease) the workings of the DHARMA Initiative. It's great to have Lost back, and it was great to end the hiatus with two episodes. The shows were good, but a little disjointed. The one drawback to having characters in different locales is that it's hard to get a good narrative going when you're skipping story tracks like a record (or the inhabitants of the island tripping through time). I like what's happening on the island. Ben's attempts at getting everyone together is interesting. Sun and Kate on the other hand, are kinda boring. The only possible redeeming quality of that storyline is that I don't trust Sun at all, so Kate deserves what's coming for putting her trust in Sun. And Ben has 70 hours to get everyone back to the island. What is this, 24? Some other thoughts: -I've asked it before and I'll ask it again: Do we really need previouslies when we've just sat through an hour-long clip show? -I've said it before and I'll say it again: Daniel looks like a cross between Rivers Cuomo and the "Macho Man" Randy Savage. -I'm glad they took the time to explain the ground rules of time travel. Apparently, we're in a different universe than Back to the Future, because you can't change the past (or the future). But then, what's the point? -And that's why you put the knives in the dishwasher handle-first. -How many leg injuries has Locke had since he got to the island? -I always thought Desmond would avoid boats after his last sailing expedition. -This episode had two great cameos- Ana Lucia, and Mrs. Hawking, who incidentially shares a last name with that Wheelchair Guy and who I'm betting is Daniel's mother. -Watching Survivorman has taught me that they could have used the raft's engine and gas to start a fire. But since Survivorman didn't premiere until 2004, I guess the lostaways were out of luck. -Speaking of fire, is it me, or is it ironic that the guy who made his living hawking frozen goods ends up being killed by fire? -I hope that Locke doesn't become next week's mystery meat. -Looks like we may finally solve the mystery of how those World War II-era weapons ended up on the island. What did you think?

Holy Shat!

King Tom — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 23:46:38 +0000

While I enjoy Star Trek, I wouldn't consider myself a trekkie. I've never seen more than two episodes of Boston Legal. And I've never watched TJ Hooker or Rescue 911 without falling asleep. That said, I consider myself a fan of William Shatner. I recently started reading Shatner's autobiography Up Till Now. Its a good book-everything is colored by Shatner's personality. The man has led a fascinating and full life.

I'm finding out all sorts of things I never knew before, such as the fact that Captain Kirk (well, actually William Shatner, but the story sounds better if I use the name of his most famous character) saved Odd Job's (actually actor Harold Sakata, but see the previoius parenthetical) life while working on the film Impulse. From the book:

Harold was a huge man with no neck, he was just shoulders and a head. In this particular scene he chased me through a car wash and I managed to escape by climbing up onto a roof; when he walked by below me I threw a lasso over him and yanked him up. As he's being strangled I jump off the roof, hit him serveral times, then escape. The stunt coordinator rigged Harold with a harness under his shirt which was connected to a steel cable...We practiced it several times, rope, pull, up, looks good. Then we rolled cameras. I dropped the loop over his head and yanked him up. I jumped down to the ground and looked at him dangling three feet in th air, struggling to get loose. He was making terrible choking sounds. Boy, I thought, I hadn't realized he was such a good actor. He sounds like he's really choking. I punched him rat-tat-tat in the gut a few times and took off. And as I started running a thought struck me: Wait a second, he's actually choking...I yelled "Cut! Cut!" and ran back to help him. Harold weighed about three hundred pounds but somehow I managed to lift his body enough to reduce the pressure, enabling him to breathe, and then held him up until they cut him loose.

So if it wasn't for Shatner's Kirk-ian quick thinking, Harold Sakata, one of the best things (along with Gert Fröbe and Sean Connery) about Goldfinger, would have died in a cheap action flick. The book is chock full of other interesting tidbits, one of which has greatly increased my understanding of the song Rocket Man. I'm familiar with Shatner's musical career. I've heard The Transormed Man. I'm a huge fan of Has Been. But I've never seen, or heard his earth-shattering rendition of Rocket Man. After watching it, I'm stunned. First of all, I never realized the lyrics went "burning out his fumes up here alone." I always thought it was just some random nonsense riffing by Elton John. Second, the guy who wrote the song, Bernie Taupin, is also responsible for bringing the world We Built This City. If anyone deserves to be locked in a booth listening to We Built This City for 24 hours straight, it's him. And now, for your viewing pleasure, I give you William Shatner's rendition of Rocket Man:

The First Husband Hulks Up

King Tom — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 04:35:32 +0000

I've noticed a regular occurence throughout my years of watching of 24--one hour is a bit slow, setting things up. I think the hour is a disappointment, even if it's full of exposition and witty one-liners ("I'm a stay at home mom"). Then all of a sudden, after the episode, as I watch the previews, my mind is blown and I think the next week can redeem the show I just watched. This week was one of those weeks. To be honest, this hour had its moments. Chlöe and Bill rescuing the redhead. Jack and Tony taking down both groups of bad guys. The reveal of Henderson (RoboCop) being behind Tony's reseurrection. And the first husband hulking up out of his drug-induced paralysis to take down the evil secret service agent (or, more accurately, take him over the railing and onto the table below, using the evil agent's body to break his fall). Actually, with all due respect to Jack, that was the moment of this episode- making the first husband's storyline worthwhile. The rest of the hour seemed like it was sitting around and talking. The FBI is still boring and full of unsympathetic characters (the one FBI agent with any likability whatsoever is out in the field with Jack). The White House drama is okay, but to be honest, we've heard it all in some form of another over the past six years. And if the cabinet invokes the Twenty-Fifth Amendment for a third time on this show, I'm going to walk away. Overall, this season is average, but I'm waiting for it to go somewhere. Am I alone?

I Saw The Sign and it Opened Up My Mind

King Tom — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:21:20 +0000

We've had a hellacious winter here in central Ohio. It seems like there was no fall--back in October, the weather felt like it went from summer to freezing temperatures instantaneously. And in the last few weeks, while it hasn't piled up, it has felt like it's snowed every day. Well, yesterday, we were told, we'd get this huge storm- and for once, the weather people were right. Had a few inches Tuesday morning, then a brief respite during the day. But right around 5:00, it started snowing again, which turned to sleet, to freezing rain, and back to huge chunks of white death falling from the sky, which is where we are now. When The Civee and I first woke up this morning, we figured we'd clean off our car and see how things were. Well, there was a slight problem- our front door wouldn't open. The door was frozen shut at the bottom. After leaving through the other door, we started clearing the ice off our car, which went well until our scraper broke. After that, we figured someone was trying to tell us something and here we are, looking out the window, watching these huge snowflakes keep falling.

Lost Geeks Are Everywhere

King Tom — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:00:37 +0000

Back in the day when Yankees games were telecast over the MSG network, my favorite broadcaster who covered the Yankees was Al Trautwig. Al didn't specialize in baseball, but covered every sport--he's done hockey, he's done the Olympics, he even covered the Jamaican Bobsledding Team. Al is a damn good broadcaster. When he did the Yankees games, he'd appear throughout the game and on the MSG pre and post game shows. Then the Yankees went to YES, and other than the Olympics (and the fact that I moved out of MSG's viewing area), I haven't had much of a chance to listen to Al--until now. It turns out Al is a Lost geek. Al has started what looks to be a weekly video blog on the MSG Network Web site where he talks about Lost. And boy, does he talk--he goes on for seven minutes. I can't say I agree with all of his analysis, but it's solid. He makes a lot of good points, and isn't ashamed to hide his fanaticism. He even plugs Lostpedia, which makes me wonder if he's an active member of the online Lost community. If you're out there Al, you're always welcome at the Kingdom. If you're a fan of Lost, give Al's podcast a view--hopefully, it'll show you that we're everywhere.

If That's Jughead, Is Locke Mr. Weatherbee?

King Tom — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 03:52:52 +0000

So this is Season Five of Lost--minor action off-island with major exposition on the island, with the audience left to figure out what time it is. I like it.

Jughead was like a history lesson about the Lost island. However, this lesson just tells us what happened, leaving out all the names and dates. The when becomes pretty easy to figure out. But the who, that's for us to determine. The why, I'm sure will be answered later. But if the who turns out to be who we think they are, then my mind is blown. First off- bombshell number one- Widmore was an Other. Now that we know that, I'm trying to think of all sorts of scenarios about how he got to be who he is today (relatively speaking). My guess? We've seen his personality as a youngster and in older form, and I'm guessing he's the impetuous type who got passed over for leadership of the Others. That's the reason for his vendetta against Ben. I'm also guessing he's the last one to have turned the famous frozen donkey wheel, which is why he's banished from the island. Bombshell number two- Faraday wasn't a nice guy. So he graduated up from time travel experiments on rats to time travel experiments on people. He'd been working with Widmore all this time. He knew the results of his experiments and when he saw Oceanic 815 had been found, he knew it was time to pay the piper, which is probably why we saw him crying like a little girl in his first appearance last season. Bombshell number three (implied) - Mrs. [Eloise] Hawking is Faraday's mom. And was also the Ellie who introduced Faraday to Jughead. The question becomes- is she working with Widmore, or against him? How does she know that Desmond has to go to the island in the future? Why does my head hurt so much from thinking about all of this? I'm going to move from this deep stuff to some lighter topics. Here we go: -Damn school closings. Taking up 1/5 of the screen when it's Lost time! -Was it me, or did the doctor that Desmond fetched not wash up? -They're doing a good job of killing off all the redshirts. Rose and Bernard are still unaccounted for. -Great, the Others are a bunch of pre-Vatican II altar boys and girls. -The Locke walking right into the Others' camp scene reminded me of a similar scene from Season 3. -The Widmore reveal scene was great. I bet Locke now wishes he had pulled the trigger (although the island probably would have prevented him from doing so). -So what did the Others do with Jughead? -I kinda dig the way Brits pronounce Los Angeles. -Des and Penny's kid is named Charlie. Is the kid named after Pace or Widmore? -Did Desmond use some Ben-esque reverse psychology on Penny? -I don't think we're ever going to find out how old Richard is. -I'm glad Sawyer was along for the ride this episode. He's like the voice of the audience, acting like those of us who have no clue as to the big picture and doing what he can just to survive. However, this season has been somewhat light on the nicknames. -They still haven't given me any reason to care about Charlotte. What did you think?

Think It'll Be An Early Spring?

King Tom — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:29:13 +0000

Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring. Ciao.

-Phil Connors, 2/2/1993

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before

King Tom — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 03:27:57 +0000

So on tonight's episode of 24 (Day 7: 2:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.), an industrial plant in a small town is threatened. A remote computer controls the release of toxic gas, but when that system is compromised, the buildup of said gas threatens to explode, putting that town in danger. Only the brave efforts of one man, who must sacrifice himself to save the day by throwing the manual release lever can save the day...

King Size Homer looks better in a mu-mu than Jack Bauer would. Aside from the derivative plot of the terrorist target on tonight's 24 (and ignoring the fact that Kidron is an unincorporated township rather than a growing metropolis), this hour wasn't that bad. The obvious highlight: Jack, Tony, Bill and Renee's assault on the terrorist's compound. At least this show can still put on a good raid. Now that the terrorists have lost the CIP device, the only leverage they have is the first husband. Sadly, after his awesome takedown of Evil Secret Service Agent Number One last week, he didn't hulk up again this week and spent most of this hour on his back awaiting the three count. Really though, how long can they keep that up as their main threat throughout the day? Personally, I'm awaiting the arrival of Jon Voight as the head bad guy. Speaking of bad guys, I think this season has given us the best name for a 24 villain so far:

Seriously? Ike? Maybe I just wasn't paying attention the last few weeks, but until this moment tonight, I hadn't noticed that the main baddie's first name was Ike. I don't know if it's me, but I'd have trouble taking him seriously if he was on the other end of the red phone. To me, the name Ike isn't exactly threatening. One thing we learned tonight--Ike has been living in America as a sleeper agent. He knows how to take mass transporation, and he has a waitress girlfriend. I think he would have been more effective had he dropped the accent when he saw her at the door. But still, his name's Ike. So how scary can he be? My final comment about tonight: They still haven't given me a reason to like the FBI or any of its agents. One other thing--now that I'm getting into 24 again, I've started re-visiting blogs.4bauer.com. If witty 24 banter is your bag, this is your place. What did you think?

Male Bonding

King Tom — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 03:36:31 +0000

So the people on the island are flashing forward and backwards through time. The Oceanic 6 are stuck in 2007 (or 2008). And I'm watching the show, wondering how an hour can feel like it passed by in 15 minutes. Tonight's episode of Lost, The Little Prince, didn't have a lot of action, but it made up for that with answers and more riddles. Most of this show seemed to be about groups of people doing things. More specifically, groups of men. Locke and Sawyer had their little bonding moment. Sayid and Ben (and somewhat Jack, when he wasn't trying to help Kate out) also spent some quality time together. The most surprising thing in this episode was the transformation of Sawyer into Mr. Emotion. First he's pining over Kate. Then he sees her, but can't do anything about it. Then he has a heart to heart with Locke. Then he shares a special moment with Juliet, is shot at, travels through time, and picks up where he left off. Because he's an everyman stuck on a journey with a scientist who specializes in time travel and a man of faith, I can actually sympathize with his point of view. I just hope they don't make him cry anytime soon. I wasn't surprised to see that Ben was the one who hired the lawyer to scare Kate. I was suprised to see that he also hired the lawyer to defend Hurley and assist Claire's mother. Either this ambulance chaser somehow fell backward into the Oceanic Six money pit, or he's special, like Ben's butcher friend. The other two surprising things tonight happened in the last few minutes--the shipwrecked French scientists and the piece of driftwood they found with Jin on top of it. I'm glad Jin's back, although I feel sorry for him, because unlike the rest of the Lostaways, he doesn't know he's travelling through time. I have to admit when I first saw that piece of wood or whatever it was with someone laying on top of it, I thought it would have been the dude from Titanic. Speaking of which, it will be nice to finally get her backstory--even if they're going to be flashing in and out of it all season. At least Locke and Sawyer will have a clue as to who she is. But poor Jin...I might have to hit Lostpedia up for this, but I can't recall him ever hearing of or meeting Rousseau. Some other things about tonight: -Kate said two very stupid things in the first moments of the show:

"After everyone we lost....Michael, Jin, Sawyer..." Why mention Michael? Did she know that Michael was Ben's guy on the boat? I don't think she did. So unless she did, the last time she saw Michael, he and Walt were off riding in a boat to freedom while the Others were putting a bag over her head and shipping her off to the Hydra.
To Jack: "I've always been with you" Well, except for those few nights with Sawyer.

-Something I'm trying to figure out: Alpert told Locke the Oceanic 6 are alive and okay, right? Well, how did he know? -Why did Locke not want to go to the Hatch? Did he not want to meet himself (meaning he believes in the Dr. Emmet L. Brown theory of time travel)? Or did he not want to let the rest of the gang see him like that? -Kind of building off that, during his little heart-to-heart with Sawyer, I don't think Locke would have done that much different. Sure, he wouldn't have let Ben shoot him or have let Jack make contact with the freighter, but I get the feeling he's where he wants to be. -Daniel has joined Sun in the category of people that I don't trust. Once again, I'm eagerly awaiting next week. What did you think?

Relationship Issues

King Tom — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 03:56:24 +0000

Tonight on 24, we learned the main bad guy is having issues with his girlfriend, who thinks he's an importer/exporter who is extremely devoted to his work. The FBI agent who's [most likely in the end] a good guy and smitten with his female co-worker is frustrated by the fact that each minute she's getting more and more like Jack Bauer and less like the bright-eyed by-the-book FBI agent he fell in love with all those years ago. In the White House, the president is showing some backbone by refusing to negotiate with the terrorists who have kidnapped the first husband. Meanwhile, upstairs in President Heaven, President David Palmer is looking down on all this and thinking to himself...

I was actually encouraged and glad to see President Taylor take the hardline stance when it came to her husband. Sure, she's having domestic issues, but that shouldn't stop her from kicking some dictator tail halfway around the world. Although, if I were her, I would have told Ike that should he harm one hair on her husband's head (not that there's many left), then I'd send in Delta Force to put a bullet inbetween Juma's eyes before he could hang up the phone. But that's just me. Speaking of ruthless efficiency, despite the glowering of FBI Special Agent Larry Fine, Jack managed to set a plan and carry it out. It started in the Oval Office when Jack told the President when questioned of his loyalties "With all due respect Madame President, ask around." Last month, during all the inauguration hoopla, much was made of the tradition of the outgoing President leaving the incoming President a note. Is it so wrong to think that most Presidents would tell their successor to trust Jack Bauer? Well, maybe there's one who wouldn't. But despite his reputation for roughness, you'd think people in high places would know of Jack's dedication to his country. Regardless, there are still some who think Jack's ways are wrong, and they are painted on the show as wimps. And I don't blame them. With the actions that Jack has taken, he's the only one to get results (or now that Renee is on board, those who follow the Bauer way). It's kind of easy to see why Special Agent Larry Fine feels like he's being emasculated.

Apparently, Special Agent Larry Fine doesn't know that if you're trying to keep a phone call below the radar, you're not supposed to say the name of someone everyone else thinks is dead every five seconds. Speaking of the FBI, another week has gone by, and they've done nothing to redeem any of the other players at the Bureau. Special Agent The Bowler is still sticking her nose in other people's business and managing to keep precious screen time away from Chlöe (who was conspicious in her absence this week). And Special Ageny Brylcreem is still a creep and acting like the federal government revolves around him. Damn those people are annoying. I'm sure now that they've secured the first husband, the action next week will revolve around finding Ike as he tries to take out his girlfriend's sister. After the action this week, I'm expecting a slow hour next week. But this week's action was worth it. While we had the twin action scenes of Renee threatening the evil Secret Service agent's family with Jack taking out said agent, my favorite moment tonight came from right before all that. I call it the look. It's the look that bad guys get when they know Jack Bauer is about to bring down the hammer of justice. On that note, I'll leave you with the look:

[This Place is] Death on a Redheaded Perm

King Tom — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 03:47:48 +0000

So Charlotte, Lost's most annoying on-island (for Season 5) character is dead, and I'm supposed to care. I don't mean to sound callow, but ever since she showed up on the island ("Don't you people want to be rescued?"), she annoyed me, and I'm just not sad to see she's gone. Or, as The Civee put it, "I'm glad Charlotte's dead, because this plot is boring." I wouldn't entirely put it that way--her last few minutes established that Faraday tried to break his "don't do it, because you can't change it anyway" rule, which should mean he gets into some interesting situations during his next jump. Speaking of which, if he meets Charlotte back in the day, then shouldn't he be, like, her Constant? Perhaps the most interesting revelation in tonight's episode comes from a different story thread: John Locke can't follow orders. When he meets Christian at the bottom of the well, Christian emphasizes the fact that Locke was supposed to move the island. But Ben moved it instead, causing the whole mess the island has gotten itself into. Well, a few seconds later, Christian tells Locke he has to push the frozen donkey wheel. And what does Locke do? Well, permit me to illustrate:

In the above screen capture, we see Locke with the wheel. The blue arrow represents the direction Locke would have had to go to push the wheel. However, Locke moves in the direction of the yellow arrow, pulling the wheel. And this is the guy they expect to save the island? A few other thoughts: The above sarcasm aside, I enjoyed this episode. There are still loads of questions, and not much else answered, other than seeing a few more parts of the story of the French Science Expedition. We saw Smokey's home, and if the crazy French guy is to be believed, it's job is to protect that temple (which may or may not be the same temple the Others hid at last season). But in the standoff of the crazy French guy versus an equally crazy French woman, I'm not sure who entirely to believe. At the very beginning, they played a few snippets of the numbers broadcast. The numbers were actually done in a normal voice. I thought they would have been playing in a robotic voice, like the "Iteration" sequence we've previously heard. Anyone else think we'll eventually hear the person who started reading off the lucky numbers? Or is that just chasing a red herring? -I didn't think with his limited knowledge of English that Jin would be able to explain time travel. I guess we're just lucky he only had to explain it to the people who were going through the same experience. -Sawyer and Jin's reunion (The third one, if my count is correct) was somewhat touching. -In that scene at the dock where Sayid and Kate left Ben but Jack stayed, I couldn't help but think that Jack's the only one who realizes how horrible his life is off the island. -I think everyone was thinking what Sawyer said outloud when he told Juliet (after the flash) that she "just had to say something." -I was thinking when Locke "promised" Jin he wouldn't tell Sun he was still alive, that Locke had his fingers crossed. But it looked like he kept his word. -Christian hinted that Locke was a sacrifice the island demanded. I wonder what was supposed to happen had he turned the wheel, instead of Ben. I've been thinking for the past few years that the lostaways were destined to live on the island for the rest of their lives (they "weren't supposed to leave", etc.). And I don't know why, but I'm still hoping that's the case, even if they've said things weren't supposed to happen the way they did. -To the audience, Mrs. Hawking being Faraday's mother wasn't a surprise. But to me, Desmond showing up in the final scene was. What did you think?

Beer Week Started Early in Philly

King Tom — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:36:12 +0000

From Fox News:

Philadelphia's primary mass transit agency is embarrassed about a discount pass it sold that features a picture of New York City. The pass is marked with the logo for Philly Beer Week, a festival celebrating local breweries and taverns. The Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority is selling the pass to discourage people from driving from one event to another during the festival. A spokeswoman for the agency, Jerri Williams, says transit officials liked the look of the pass but didn't realize the stock photo was of the wrong city.

I haven't been to Philly in years, but I never thought it's skyline resembled New York's at all. Guess it's a good thing most of the people who would be using those passes won't have full control of their faculties.

Don't Forget What Day Today Is...

King Tom — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 07:13:06 +0000

...that's right, it's International Weezer Day!

Last year was a good year for fans of the Weez- with a new album, tour, and a boatload of solo stuff from Rivers. Who knows what's on tap this year? Could be more albums, another tour or two (hopefully without a co-headliner) and more solo stuff from RC. But then again, it could be the beginning of another multi-year wait before any other Weezer action. But I have a feeling it's the former rather than the latter (or is it latter rather than the former? I never get that one right). Anyway, from all of us here at the Kingdom to all of you out there, may the Weez be with you.

Jack Bauer Will Break Your Heart

King Tom — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 03:59:30 +0000

First, just a little something I want to get out of the way. From January 19 of this year:

Speaking of the FBI, Special Agent Jeanene’s associate (good ol’ whatshisname) is really irritating, even moreso than her. I’m guessing he’s the mole. Because of the hair grease. Why the hair grease? Well, the main terrorist (the guy who Jack’s boss reported to) also used a bit too much hair grease this morning. So did one of the evil secret service agents. Remember back in season 1 how all the good guys used Macs and the bad guys used PCs? Well, I’m calling it now. Bad guys, hair grease. Good guys, natural and fluffy.

I'm glad that I actually called a mole right one of these seasons. Even though "good ol’ whatshisname" since been re-named on this blog as Special Agent Brylcreem, my disdain for him and his whiny ways have not changed. I suppose that serves notice to Special Agent The Bowler as well, because she remains just as annoying. Still, this whole episode just reinforced one fact:

Up until the last minute reveal of the evilness of Special Agent Brylcreem, I was preparing to comment on the only real action this episode taking place in the emotional struggle between Martika and her pesky sister, who just so happened to be right about her sister's strangely-accented boyfriend. To be honest, I didn't expect the sister to survive the hour, because I thought Ike was going to get to her first. Rather, Jack and Special Agent Renee showed up first and Jack broke Martika's heart by revealing the truth. Now it's looking like Martika won't be the one surviving the next hour. Perhaps the biggest surprise of this hour was the return (even if it was somewhat spoiled during the credits) of Aaron Pierce, Secret Service Agent to the Stars. While it's nice to see Aaron back, this revelation was somewhat blunted by the revelation that the President has a daughter. Whenever there's a reveal of a family member for the President (or member of CTU for that matter), that person will follow anyone of these pre-determined courses:

Death
Be used as a pawn by the villains
Be a villain themselves
Become a hostage of the villains
Become a hostage of a cougar

And none of those end well. But it is nice to have Aaron back. And Morris too. Which brings me to the question- did the CTU gang just pile into a car and decide to all move to DC together? I don't know if I wasn't paying attention the previous seasons (and I nearly zoned out during the last one, so it is possible), but I thought 24 was always set in L.A. And now that we've seen how the intelligence community in DC operates in the 24-verse, I think I understand why- everyone in the DC area is whiny and ineffective (I'm looking right at you Special Agent Larry Fine). Speaking of the denizens of the DC FBI office, the exchange between Special Agent Brylcreem and Special Agent The Bowler (a.k.a. Jeanene Garafolo) over the IP-hacking-flux capicator-whatever device left me with one small thought (and I have a feeling I'm not the only one who thinks this way): You're both little bitches. What did you think?

Welcome Back

King Tom — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 04:05:29 +0000

Welcome back, Oceanic Six...Welcome back.

For all the hubbub about this season of Lost featuring the cast split between the Island and the mainland, everyone got back on the same piece of land pretty quickly, huh?

I thought they were going to drag out the O6's off-island storyline all season, but I'm glad they didn't. On tonight's episode, 316, we've seen at least three of them (with possibly two more, plus Ben, Frank, the body of John Locke, Marshall Girl and the random first class dude of indeterminate origin) making it back to the island, in what appears to be the mid-seventies. Meanwhile, Aaron's back on the mainland taking acting lessons.

I thought the middle part of the episode (from Jack in the bar until he goes to pick up Locke) was pretty average. That being said, the first part and last parts of 316 were great. From the story behind Christian's white sneakers to Locke's suicide note, to the O6 mirroring the original Flight 815 passengers, the episode was filled with little nuggets of Lost awesomeness. Even more surprising was that 90% of the episode took place off the island.

And of course, it wouldn't be an episode of Lost if we weren't left with more questions than answers.

To me, the star of the show tonight was Ben. I don't know why. Maybe it was because even though he wasn't in control of the church scenes, he was still pulling everyone's strings. Or it could have been the scene to the left, where the man who said (something along the lines of) "God can't find this island" is seen praying (and giving some cryptic advice/exposition to Jack). Or maybe it was because the implied "favor to an old friend" left us all thinking he killed Penny (which, for his and Desmond's sake, I'm hoping didn't happen, but that's what it's looking like). Or it could possibly be that after his fall from grace last season, he actually might make it back to the island and earn his redemption (is there any doubt I'm drinking the Ben Kool-Aid?). Even with all that, one of my favorite moments this episode was this exchange between Jack and Ben:

Jack: How can you read? Ben: My mother taught me.

(Nevermind the fact that he's lying). Pretty much all of tonight's episode was seen through Jack's eyes. And while in the past, I've been bored by him, but tonight, he was interesting. When we've seen him before, he's been sure of himself and not willing to acknowledge the path he's on. But tonight, as in a few times past, we've seen him unsure of himself and putting himself at the mercy of others. Maybe it's because he's being humbled, but he's a much more interesting character this way. Some other thoughts from tonight: -So the Army found the island first? And DHARMA exploited it? And it was found because someone believed it existed? -If Widmore knew about the Lamppost and what Mrs. Hawking was doing, why didn't he take it over a long time ago? -Desmond was scaring me during his confrontation with Mrs. Hawking, the way he was walking back and forth, almost daring the pendulum to hit him. -So someone important built the pendulum? Jacob? -I bet Jill the Butcher is glad the city health inspector didn't show up for a surprise inspection when she was watching Locke. -We know why Jack, Sun, Kate and Ben were on the plane? But who/what told Hurley and how did Sayid come to be in that predicament? My guess? Charlie had a conversation with Hurley. And Ben possibly tipped off Interpol as to the whereabouts of Sayid. -If Hurley bought 68 seats on the plane, why did the back section look full? -It was nice seeing Frank again (and no Frank, you weren't going to Guam). Even if I didn't recognize him without the facial hair. What did you think?

Help--Jack Bauer's Brain Is Missing!

King Tom — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:48:48 +0000

Throughout his career as a government agent, Jack Bauer has a history of being one step ahead of everyone else. Bad guys, good guys, idiot family members, Jack is portrayed as the sharpest knife in the drawer that is the 24-verse. As a viewer, it's fun- cheering for the guy who is always right and always gets things done. But tonight, I have to admit my faith in Jack was broken. True, Jack's pursuit of Ike and the information to take down the conspiracy achieved their goals, but he made two missteps along the way that resulted in me shouting at the TV, questioning whether Jack was out of his mind. First, after pulling Ike's seemingly lifeless body out of a flaming car, Jack left Ike there to lay on the sidewalk while he helped Special Agent Renee attempt to save Martika. Not that I have anything against saving the life of someone who helped you nail the bad guy, but I've watched way too much TV to expect Ike to still be laying there when Jack is done trying to save Martika. Secondly, shortly after procuring a chip from Ike's body, Jack proceeds to hand said MacGuffin over to a random police officer who just so happened to be standing by a helicopter. Now, that chip contained the names and information on all of the government agents involved in the conspiracy, right? Then why would Jack hand that over to some random police officer? Luckily, neither of these missteps came back to bite Jack in the ass. Hopefully, Jack's brain was catching up on its sleep this episode and his body was on autopilot. Jack will be back to normal next week (I hope). Despite Jack's questionable decisions, the whole pursuit of Ike and retrieval of the microchip is over. But the name of the game is 24, not 9, and there's more to talk about. One thing I've always hated is the dragging out of storylines involving moles. That's why I'm happy that even though I called it a few weeks ago, it was a nice surprise Special Agent Bryllcreem was quickly found out and apprehended. It really wasn't surprising that he manipulated the trampy FBI agent. Nor was it surprising he framed and killed her. It was surprising that Special Agent Larry Fine has his act together enough to figure out what was going on (although he did have help from Chlöe) and put a stop to Brylcreem's tratorious ways. I actually was proud of Larry during the moment pictured to the right. However, that pride went away when Larry let Brylcreem go after after Brylcreem asked to speak to a lawyer. Larry should have responded to the effect of: "Your lawyer's on his way. His name is Jack Bauer." Or he should at least squeezed his upper left arm a little. Some other things: -Larry likes to go on and on about how much better the FBI is than CTU. I hate to tell you this Larry, but CTU had surveillance cameras in their server rooms. -I feel like I ask this every season, but are there any family members of main characters out there who are not annoying? I get this twitch everytime the show even mentions a family member and an undeniable urge to find that person and slap some sense into them. -This week's 24-flashback moment: a bad guy has a chip containing sensitive information implanted between his ribs. I'm just glad this chip didn't take nine hours to decode. -So Ike's weasly in-country contact is actually Senator That 70's Show's aide. And Bill is asking the President to "talk to" Senator That 70's Show. Yeah, there's gonna be some conflict there. -If you want more 24, check out Blogs.4Bauer. What did you think?

Driving Mister Bentham

King Tom — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:58:28 +0000

So you're on a path to sacrificing your life to get your friends back to a magical island. You turn a magical frozen donkey wheel (the wrong way). You're about to find out the love of your life is dead while being driven around by a really creepy guy you had a spooky encounter with in the past. Your leg is broken and you're stranded in the middle of the Tunisian desert. Once night falls, you're apprehended by a bunch of guys in a pickup truck and taken to what passes for a Tunisian hospital. Once there, you're attended to by the Tunisian version of House. Welcome back to civilization, John Locke Jeremy Bentham. I hope that with everything Locke went through tonight together with his pre-Island life, he now knows enough that he should never ever, under any circumstances, leave the island again. Because of Locke's connection to the island, he puts more stock in his faith than other characters. And as a fan of the mythology of the show (rather than the romance), he's very relatable because he asks the questions and does the things that I want to see the chracters on the island doing. There have been other characters (Eko (briefly), Desmond, Ben, Sawyer (recently)) that are on the same level as Locke, but Locke has been there the longest. And as a fan of Locke, it was great to have an episode devoted to him and his attempt to get the band back together. Unfortunately, that could only happen with his death, and a little help from the two people who are in a battle for control of the island, Ben Linus and Charles Widmore. Despite everything shown in The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham, I still want to believe that Ben is a good guy. Or at least a Stone Cold Steve Austin-esque character who lives in the gray area between light and dark. He appeared willing to help Locke until Locke mentioned Jin being alive. Once Locke mentioned Jin, Ben's eyes started bugging out and once Mrs. Hawking's name was thrown out there, you knew that poor Locke was a goner. Although, my Ben's still a good argument goes thusly: Locke needed Ben's help. Ben needed information from Locke. Locke needed to die. Once he had that information, Ben could have taken care of things on his own, while having Locke around would have just messed things up (and Locke would have been more reluctant to die). So Locke spills the beans, Ben chokes him out and everyone gets back to the island and they all live happily ever after. Water under the bridge and all that. Other thoughts from this episode: -Maybe Cesar and Illana aren't part of a bigger picture, but simply interesting people who just happened to end up on the island. For some reason, I don't think the whole rest of the people who landed on Flight 316 have much longer to live. Compared with the original plane crash, they've just sped this one along. Of course, it looks like their plane landed in one piece and right in the vicinity of some type of manmade structure (which we know as the Hydra). Whereas Flight 815 broke up and landed on the beach, without the benefit of a nearby DHARMA installation. -In that opening scene where Locke pulled back the blanket to show his face, was any one else thinking he was resuerrected as a Dark Lord of the Sith? No? Just me? Okay... -No matter what, you'd think Locke is happy to be back on the island. Not to mention to be alive. -So Widmore says that Ben tricked him into leaving the island. I knew it! From my comments on Jughead:

First off- bombshell number one- Widmore was an Other. Now that we know that, I’m trying to think of all sorts of scenarios about how he got to be who he is today (relatively speaking). My guess? We’ve seen his personality as a youngster and in older form, and I’m guessing he’s the impetuous type who got passed over for leadership of the Others. That’s the reason for his vendetta against Ben. I’m also guessing he’s the last one to have turned the famous frozen donkey wheel, which is why he’s banished from the island.

-I have to say it: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalt! -I wouldn't have blamed Locke for wanting to slap Kate after the whole "have you ever loved anyone" speech. Her life is so great off the island. -With Widmore's billions, he couldn't have gotten Locke a better hotel? -While I appreciate Ben cleaning up after Locke's 'suicide,' any CSI/Forensics specialist worth a damn will know it's a faked suicide. There's no way a no-tell motel could ever get as clean as Ben was making it. -This was a great episode, but I think they cut corners on some of the time elements. Sayid was the only person (we saw) Locke tell about his Jeremy Bentham persona. And Jack just booked his first flight overseas. But later on, he says he's been doing it for a while. Oh well, if more awesomeness is on the way, I'm willing to overlook that. What did you think?

It's All Kim's Fault

King Tom — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 04:13:58 +0000

After watching these last two frustrating (yet somehow compelling) hours of 24, all I have to say is if security really is that bad at the White House, we're all screwed. Nevermind the fact that 15 minutes before General Juma snuck in through a secret underground tunnel, a bunch of tough-looking guys in camoflauged Army fatigues were shown in every scene held inside the White House. I guess when the clock strikes 8:00 (or twenty-hundred hours as they'd say in the military), it's break time for the soldiers. I can (maybe) live with the fact that the soldiers stationed at the White House all go off duty at the same time. But there are other things to consider, like the fact that Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery had a harder time busting into Alcratraz than Juma did when storming the White House. Or that these guys, with a single laptop (that miraculously survived submersion) can tap into Secret Service security. And even though we saw security cameras peppered throughout the hallways, not one of them picked up this commado team as it fought its way through the White House. Or howabout that White House safe room not having a phone line that could reach the outside world? And probably the event which required the greatest suspension of disbelief tonight was Jack opening the door and allowing the President out of that safe room (which he did after she asked about his daughter, proving that Kim Bauer is once again responsible for all of Jack's problems). If you ignore the above, this was a pretty decent set of 24 episodes. Jon Voight, or Jonas something-or-other, was revelaed as one of this season's villlains. It's still up in the air as to whether he's the main bad guy, or whether he's just some arms-dealing terrorist enabler. If I had to guess, I'd say he's behind it all. You don't sign Jon Voight to a role that requires him to answer to somebody else. I did think it was entertaining that the scene in which we were introduced to Jonas portrayed him eating (left). As soon as I saw Voight's name in the credits, all I could think of was a famous earlier role of his which also required him to use his mouth. Come to think of it, he was a villain in that role too, even if the car did not ever belong to him. But I digress. Now we know there's a high-level conspirator who gave Juma all of his intelligence on White House security. And his name must not be on that list that the FBI has, because otherwise he'd be on the next flight to Mexico, rather than hanging out playing darts and eating Chinese food. So because Jonas traded the White House blueprints (and apparently a really old Woodcutting in case Juma's crew didn't know what the White House looked like), we're left with Jack Bauer, Bill Buchanan, the President and Senator That 70s Show involved in a hostage situation. Tony is off sitting in his car somewhere and the FBI is awaiting the word to move, but the Vice President is too busy giving the verbal smackdown to aides who are measuring the White House drapes. Some other things: -I have to say, I don't blame Special Agent Renee for going in alone, especially considering her backup was Special Agent Larry Fine. -Aaron better not be dead (or better not die last week), especially his line about serving five administrations. And I have to admit, after hearing that line, I was going through the previous administrations we've seen on 24:

David Palmer
Jim Prescott/Charles Widmore (all three hours of the Widmore administration)
Keebler
Charles Logan
Leland Palmer
Wayne Palmer
Yosemite Sam
Allison Taylor

Then I got to thinking, last time we saw Aaron, he retired, so he didn't really serve the last four on that list. Geez- I know way too much about this show for my own good. Other than the security lapses (lazy writing) mentioned above, this was a solid set of episodes. And remember- it's all Kim Bauer's fault. What did you think?

Oklahomers Have Great Taste In Music

King Tom — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:22:17 +0000

Until yesterday, Ohio was the only state with an official state rock song. Back in the 80's, the Ohio Legislature made Hang on Sloopy the official state rock song. The Oklahoma State Legislature followed suit this week, only their choice for a song is much better:

A song by the alternative rock band The Flaming Lips has been given a big statewide kiss in Oklahoma. Their tune "Do You Realize??" was named the state's official rock song, beating out more famous songs written or recorded by Oklahomans such as "Heartbreak Hotel," co-written by former Oklahoma school teacher Mae Boren Axton, and recorded by Elvis Presley. "We have an official state folk song and a state country song. With as many outstanding rock artists as we have in Oklahoma, it was time to recognize this music as well," said Sen. Mike Schulz, R-Altus. More than 21,000 voted online from a list of 10 songs selected by a panel of experts. The winner was announced Monday in the Oklahoma Senate. -from the AP

I'm a bit disappointed that Ohio's song is a soundalike of Louie, Louie, while the Oklahomers (Oklahomies? Oklahomans? Oklahomites? Oklahomians?) are represented by an alt-rock masterpiece. Oh well. I salute you, Oklahoma. Well done.

LaFleur's The Name, Don't Wear It Out

King Tom — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:32:43 +0000

So master con-man Sawyer is trapped in the 70s has to come up with a new identity on the spot, and the best he can do is Jim LaFleur? Well, at least he made himself captain of the boat, instead of deck swabber. After enjoying the last two episodes of Lost, I expected a lot less of tonight's episode, LaFleur. Instead, I was pleasntly surprised--there was something different about this episode ( more of an emphasis on the dreaded relationships than on the mysteries of the island), yet even with that, I liked LaFleur (which is a big compliment for an episode not involving Ben, Locke or Hurley). So Sawyer, Juliet, Jin, Miles and Faraday are finally staying in one place in time- the mid 70s. Still no sign of Rose or Bernard. We learned how the group joined up with DHARMA, made some type of peace between the hostiles and DHARMA and settled down with jumpsuits and all before learning that (at least some of) their friends have made it back to the island. There were a lot of nods to island mythology- the giant statue, the mention of the Black Rock, mounting hostilities between the Others and DHARMA. But there were also some seeds planted for future questions- for example, we saw the mid 70s on the island. Yet the orientation films we saw were filmed in 80-81. They talk of an incident, and hostilities between DHARMA and the Others. And no mention of LaFleur, et al. My guess? There's one more (or more, if we get to see more about the statue or the Black Rock) time jump in store for the Lostaways to get back to when they're supposed to be. But I guess now the mystery of the first scene this season is solved- we know how (and possibly) why Daniel was at the Orchid in its stages of construction. Now all he has to do is have a nice chat with Dr. Candle about time travel. Some other things: -I thought Horace was involved with someone else, not Amy. That's okay, because "Amy" was involved with someone else too. -The best scene this episode was the one between Sawyer and Alpert. It was nice to hear Sawyer actually lay everything out on the table for Alpert to judge. We never did hear what happened with Jughead. But Richard has got to be intrigued by all these visitors he's getting from different times. -In one of the night scenes of New Otherton, there was a Weber Grill outside one of the houses. I'm really looking forward to grilling season. -What do the Others want with a dead body? -Maybe now that he's spent three years immersed in a different culture, Jin will have a better grasp of English. That's not a knock on him- I thought it was one of the interesting things about his character. But a lot of the communications issues that have been stumbling blocks are now gone. Unfortunately, the next new episode of Lost won't be happening for two weeks. So I don't know what I'm going to do with myself for the next thirteen days and 21.5 hours. Probably cursing the programming idiots at ABC until I hear those magical words... ...Previously on Lost

Ode To Bill

King Tom — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 02:51:27 +0000

I have to admit, when Bill Buchanan showed up at CTU all those years ago (season four, anyone?) as a division stooge, I wasn't a fan. But over these years, Bill has grown on me. And now, he's gone. Usually, when 24 introduces a character, I know right away whether I like them or whether I want Jack to put us out of our misery by crushing their windpipe with his legs. I have to admit, I was wrong about Bill. Maybe it's because even though he was a division guy, he didn't get in the way. Maybe it was because even though he was "seeing" Michelle, that was all water under the bridge between him and Tony. Or maybe it was because he was one of the few authority figures who saw the benefits in letting Jack be Jack. Well, after five seasons, Bill is gone, having gone out in a selfless (typical Bill) blaze of glory in a successful attempt to liberate the White House and it's hostages. At least he got a silent clock. And in an effort to memorialize Bill, I'd like to quote something that I wrote in an episode recap from February of aught-six:

I read James Morrison, the guy who plays Buchanan, is a yoga instructor and poet. Because of this, I imagine Buchanan lives in a sparsely-decorated home, and sleeps on a stone tablet. Bill Buchanan is the man.

Yes Bill, in a television world where 95 percent of government authority figures are portrayed as idiots, you were the man. I don't know if it was me, but other than the first 15 and last five minutes of tonight's episode, I was kinda bored. Sure, Jack and Bill saved the President and the hostages at the White House. All the while, Senator That 70's Show whined about being included in the big kids club, while Jack took out Juma. The president dealt with some family drama while taking charge again, Special Agent Larry Fine was once again shown to be a wuss and the one lead to tracking down [My Name Is] Jonas Hodges died while under interrogation from Jack (and sadly, Jack didn't have anything with that death). The story moved along tonight, but that doesn't mean that it was action packed. If anything, tonight was a night for character development, highlighting two characters, one of whom took a turn for the better, the other, well... First up we have [My Name Is] Jonas Hodges, played masterfully by Jon Voight. Hodges is something 24 has never really had before (unless you count Peter Kingsley from Season 2, and even then, not really): a Bond Villain-type as the 24 bad guy. Most of the past terrorists have been men of action, always part of the plans and not afraid to get their hands dirty. But Hodges is different. He has a locked-down office, with real-time map of potential targets. He eats Chinese food and plays darts. And he tells his underlings to relax when things are going against them. As a character, this is interesting. His end game hasn't been defined. And we don't know what his motivations are. But it's looking like he's going to be fun to watch. Another reason for the Ernst Stavro Blofeld comparison- in that scene where he told the henchman to relax and have a drink, I could have sworn that the henchman would not have left that room alive. I thought either the drink would have been spiked or the henchman would have fallen into a shark tank. But either way, I was convinced he was going to end up dead. I'm allowed to be wrong sometimes. Now let's talk about the other character I don't like. I mentioned a few weeks ago that it's a bad sign when they introduce a relative of someone in CTU or the White House. And as far as the first daughter is concerned, it's just gone downhill from there. She must have been reading the Secret Diary of Laura Sherry Palmer, because she has that manipulative princess role down pat. I'm sure she'll cause no further tension in the White House. A few other things happened tonight--we saw the bad guy from General Hospital take about 15 minutes to go through the hospital before framing Jack. We saw the vice president gain and lose a Southern accent multiple times in the same conversation. We didn't see Tony, Chlöe or Special Agent The Bowler (although the lack of Jeneane Garafolo is never a problem in my world). And we saw Special Agent Larry Fine descend deeper down the spiral path of idiocy. Here's hoping he soon learns what we all know:

What did you think?

A: A Bulldozer, A Screwdriver and A Two-By-Four

King Tom — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 03:26:55 +0000

Q: What are three things not to leave laying around when Jack Bauer's coming after you? So Jack Bauer escaped from the hospital and is fighting for his life at a construction site, Secret Agent Larry Fine is having a helicopter escort him all around DC, the folks in the White House are going through damage control with the media and what is Tony Almeida doing? Enjoying himself a nice mocha latte. Heck of a season it's shaking up to be for 24. Actually, in spite of a few annoying plot devices, I rather enjoyed tonight's episode. Most of that enjoyment came from the last five minutes where Jack started out seemingly trapped at a construction site, before turning the tables on the bad guy (who's also a villain with an English accent on General Hospital) through the titular elements of this blog post. If anything, once the bad guy entered the trailer, I thought Jack would spring at him with the letter opener from behind the door. Nevermind the fact that Jack turned from prey into hunter by luring the suddenly accent-less GH villain into his trap before dispatching him with some common construction tools and a pretty mean Hacksaw Jim Duggan impression.

I have to admit at the end of the fight scene, I was a bit puzzled by why Jack removed the screwdriver from the now-dead bad guy's chest. But luckily, all was revealed, as he used the instrument to start a pickup truck that was parked outside the no longer upright construction trailer. I do have to admit some disappointment here, as I thought we'd get to see Jack hotwire his second vehicle of the night (and third of the season). For some reason, no matter how many times I watch Jack hotwire a car, I can never figure out exactly how he does it. Of course, maybe we're not supposed to. And instead of hotwiring a car, maybe the next time I can't find my car keys, I should just use a flat-head screwdriver instead. Besides the fight scene, Jack's resourcefulness saved the day (or at least his life) in other ways this episode. Somehow, he was able to use that random laptop he found in the first car he appropriated to tap into the hospital security system. Additionally, Jack visited Senator That 70's Show at home and convinced the naive Senator that he wasn't the devil incarnate, but rather someone trying to protect his country. Of course, just as Jack proved his case, the Senator was loosed from this mortal coil and could not use whatever powers he had for good, rather than mucking up things. Not entirely surprising, but it keeps things entertaining. So Senator That 70s Show is no longer with us. Unfortunately, Secret Agents Larry Fine and The Bowler still are. Despite his incompetence at everything, Larry somehow has a helicopter and squad of FBI agents at his disposal, leading me to think that in the 24 universe, those who have the least natural ability are given the most resources to compensate. On the other hand, Special Agent The Bowler knows that she's not in Chlöe's league and even admitted it. The thing I didn't appreciate was Larry and Jeanene teaming up to get poor Morris to turn on Jack. But I think Morris is hitting the sauce again, because no one in their right mind would do something that would help people (FBI or not) track down Jack Bauer. A word to the wise Morris: better lose that out-of-control facial hair, get a funny toupee, pack up Chlöe and the kid and move to Japan, because Jack will find you and it won't be pretty. One other thing I'd like to see happen- I think they need to get some type of spiritualist or the Ghostbusters to the White House ASAP, because the ghost of Sherry Palmer is possessing people and it's getting pretty scary. Want more 24? Check out Blogs 4 Bauer. I'll leave you with one last image. Here's Jack swinging for the fences. Pity a bad guy got in the way.

What did you think?

Season's Greetings From All Of Us To All Of You

King Tom — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 03:34:58 +0000

The calendar may say it's still winter, but around here, grilling season has begun.

With the weather in the 50s and 60s the past few days and the daylight lasting past 7:30 p.m., The Civee and I decided it was time to start grilling again. And as you can see from the above image, it was worth it. We're a little rusty, not having done the half-inside, half-outside cooking deal in some months, but we did just fine.

Namaste, Aloha and the Muppet Show

King Tom — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 03:27:32 +0000

In the realm of Lost, as well as the rest of TV, I enjoy episodes that are either action or mythology-oriented. For the most part, I lose patience with episodes centered around emotions and relationships. Even though I'd call tonight's episode of Lost, Namaste, emotional, my reaction was different. I enjoyed it. It was a lot like a 'set-up' episode of 24, where characters and devices are introduced so the plot can shift into the next gear for the next episode. Even though that's usually a recipe for a so-so episode, that didn't happen tonight. First of all, things started off pretty quickly.

Even though it was hinted at a few weeks ago, we saw what happened to Ajira Flight 316 as it approached the island. Frank, taking a page from the book of Captain Sullenbarger, landed the plane on the hastily-constructed runway that Sawyer and Kate were building back in season three. The episode went back and forth between present day and the 70s, where we saw the DHARMA Initiative in full swing. Me being a DHARMA junkie is possibly another reason this episode was fun. We got to vsit the Flame, see the Swan in its conceptual stages, and were introduced to Radzinsky, he who would one day become a stain on the Swan's ceiling. The whole bit with Radzinsky designing the Swan led me to think that we'll be learning more about this, which is nice, because we'll be getting a payoff for all of these things hinted at years ago. Anyway, there was some other DHARMA intrigue- such as Dr. Candle/Chang/Wickmund filling in at the orientation. And then there was LeFleur and Juliet reacting to the arrival of Jack, Kate, Hurley and (eventually) Sayid. This was where most of the emotional drama of the episode was centered. Like I mentioned earlier, I actually could get behind this. Unlike Kate and Jack, I actually like Sawyer and Juliet. Here they've been living these past three years, hoping their friends would show up, looking for a way out of their situation, and now that everyone's back on the island, their perfect little lives are about to change. It is nice to see, in contrast to the past few years, Sawyer in charge and Jack relegated to following orders (especially while stationed as a janitor, er...workman). Sawyer's criticism of Jack in the closing scenes, that he acted without thinking and those actions didn't work out well for all was tough, but fair. And something that Jack needed to hear. Elsewhen on the island, Frank and Sun took a little paddle to the main island (after ditching Ben) and hooked up with Christian. Even though they're in the 'present,' I have to wonder if it's the same present we've seen before on the island. Othersville looked bombed out, but it still maintained the DHARMA signage and the class photos inside the rec center, things that weren't there in our previous visits to Othersville. Is it possible that the past has been changed? Or are we just looking at things from a different angle? I've never trusted Sun and think her knocking out Ben was the wrong move. Serves her right to be following around a dead guy as a consequence. Some other things about thise episode: -The lack of previouslies was nice. But seeing Sun, Kate and Jack as the first three characters this week made me shudder a bit. -This is the third episode in which Flight 316 has been referenced. But it still feels like it's happening so quickly. -Minor mystery solved when Annie told Juliet that the baby's name was Ethan. I guess she's just glad it wasn't Goodwin. One final thing. When Jin was visiting Radzinsky at the Flame, the two were watching a bank of monitors. Some of which looked like island security. Others looked like news. But one of the monitor in the upper left seemed curious:

Allow me to zoom in a little for you:

Nice to know they can pick up the Muppet Show on Mystery Frickin' Island. Maybe if Horace invited Richard over to watch sometime, they wouldn't be hostiles, but friendlies. What did you think?

A Waste Of A Great Supervillain Moment

King Tom — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 03:35:56 +0000

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that this season's villain [My Name is] Jonas Hodges could be the best yet bad guy we've seen on 24 because he is similar to Ernst Stavro Blofeld, nemesis of James Bond. Well the comparison stays apt, because one of the few interesting scenes in tonight's episode of 24 showed Hodges acting in a Blofeldian manner, even if (forgive the pun) the execution wasn't all the same. It's possible that there were things about tonight's episode that I wasn't seeing, but for the most part, I found it boring, especially in the White House scenes. All of that drama was between the President, the Sherri Palemeresque First Daughter and the (soon to be former) Chief of Staff. Jack and Tony met up with lucky to be alive security guard Karl before taking on a team of Blofeld Hodges' lackeys over a shipping container full of Sentox Nerve Gas a mystery chemical or bacterological agent. That action, taking place in the last 15 minutes of the hour was interesting. Although, I was befuddled as to why Jack and Tony didn't take on team terror right away. Or at least make it look like Karl killed the goon (hey, it could've happened!) so as not to arouse suspicion that they were on the case. Other than the final scenes involving the shootout and Jack's theft of the big rig, the only other interesting part of tonight's episode was Hodges' meeting of SPECTRE the Starkwood Board of Directors. Hodges was quite animated during this meeting, even taking some time to deal with a dissenter on the board who looked like Bryan Cranston (the guy who played Dr. Tim Whatley on Seinfeld). The one thing that surprised me about this scene was we didn't see the Whatley wannabe die--either in front of the rest of the Starkwood Board or during their private moment together. Even after Whatley accused him of murdering Senator That 70s Show, Hodges kept his cool and didn't have Whatley walk over a gimmicked bridge that fell into a shark pit. Hodges makes a great villain, but that was his moment to shine, and he dropped the ball. One other thing about this episode- at the end when Jack was on the horn with Special Agent Larry Fine, I was wondering- is Jack now off the hook? You think that Larry would call the White House and clear up the situation. But then again, this is Larry we're dealing with. I leave you tonight with an image of a man and his truck.

What did you think?

He's Our You [All Everybody]

King Tom — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 02:48:53 +0000

I don't know about you, but if someone told me they were from the future, I'd listen to what they had to say. I'm not saying I'd believe them, but I'd let them talk. And if even they happened to talk about things (I think) they weren't supposed to know about and get a few details right and then end their rambling with an omnious preminition along the lines of, oh, I don't know, "You're all gonna die," I'd let them keep talking. I'd maybe even take some notes, ask a few questions. Again, I wouldn't believe them outright, but I'd listen. Well, in tonight's episode of Lost, He's Our You, the DHARMA Initiative proved why they didn't stick around on the Island all that long. Even though it started off with a seemingly unrelated flashback (and possibly starting a trend of unrelated flashbacks) He's Our You turned out to be typical Lost, mindblowingly wonderful. The final scenes, in which a young Ben helps suspected Other Sayid escape only to have Sayid carry out his (self assumed) purpose and kill Ben were captivating.

Going by my gut instinct, I have a feeling that Ben isn't dead (young or old). I don't think future Ben is going to fade out of existence Back To The Future-style. And I don't think any history has been changed. Rather, the Island will find a way to save Ben.

That's why Sawyer has been playing by Faraday's rules for the past three years- he hasn't told DHARMA about the purge because doing so wouldn't do any good, for him or DHARMA, nor would it change things. In the same vein, Ben will somehow grow up to be the same person he always was, though it remains to be seen whether he was always shot by Sayid (and indeed, if he remembers it).

Last episode, we were told Faraday wasn't around anymore (or wasn't available- something like that). It would help if he's around so that someone would explain all the time travel business.

Among the returned Losties, Sayid obviously wasn't around for any of Faraday's lectures, and Jack, Kate and Hurley only caught a shortened version from Saywer. If he knew more, it's likely Sayid would have done things differently this episode. Still, we got one way back flashback and a few more recent ones (all within the Lost timeframe) about how he got to be who and where he is.

The 'interrogation' scene was a fun one, even if the high points were divided by Sayid's "predictions," Sawyer's squirming and Radzinsky's yelling. Horace may really want to re-think having Radzinsky at any future interrogations for the simple fact that you're not supposed to take focus off of the individual being questioned. But to him, that interrogation was all about Radzinsky, which didn't turn out good for all of Horace's little DHARMA buddies.

One other thing about the interrogation- was it really surprising that the former hippies would have a supply of LSD handy? That guy wasn't their torturer, he was just their resident acid trip expert.

Some other things:

-If someone is going to kill you, and you have the money to pay them off, don't flash the money until you're assured they won't kill you. Otherwise, they'll just kill you and take the money. Or maybe they don't think about such things in Russia.

-Between the hat in the Russian scene and the suit in the trip to the Dominican, Ben was looking quite dapper.

-Also, about that scene between Ben and Sayid in Russia, I was surprised Ben just let Sayid go. I think Sayid was doing more than taking care of Widmore's dangerous underlings.

But from what we've seen of Ben, it seems like there would be a lot more to Sayid's final mission than "okay, you're done, thanks and goodbye."

-I liked that the bounty hunter was after Sayid for one of his past crimes. And if we hadn't seen her previously on the show, in that one scene in the hotel room when she asked him to take her boot off, I would have expected her to have a fake leg. Just me? Thought so.

-I think one of the many things that bugs me about Jack can be summed up this way: Here's a guy who survived a plane crash, saw an island disappear, and traveled back in time (in addition to all of the other things that we've seen happen throughout the series). Yet he still doesn't believe and is unwilling to admit that his past decisions are wrong. I have no idea why Kate and Hurley still look to him as their leader. For all Jack's done he deserves to report to Roger Linus.

What did you think?

Jack Bauer vs. Mad Cow

King Tom — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 03:17:28 +0000

I don't know why. And I can't say when. But all I know is that somehow, in the past few hours of 24, the horrible experience that was last season has been erased from my memory and any residual bitterness has been patched over and replaced with hope that Jack survives against [My Name is] Jonas Hodges and his airborne version of Mad Cow Disease. So Jack is infected, but not contagious. At least he has Special Agent Larry Fine off his case and is back in the FBI's good graces. Only thing, things aren't going so good for Larry. Sure, he's in the middle of a face turn (by acting less like a moron this hour than the rest of the day), but he's about to lose his girl. When Larry was filling in Renee as to Jack's condition, she gave off a signal that her heart no longer belonged to Larry:

That's right- the single tear--a simple sign that Renee's life is about to take a turn to the Jack side. Now that Larry's out in the field (with his "best men," all of whom combined on their best day are no match for Jack Bauer) and Renee's back at the agency headquarters with Jack, sometime between now and the end of the day, Renee and Jack are going to have to team up (hopefully without the help of The Bowler) to save Larry and Renee will totally succumb to Jack. And then she'll probably die in the opening hours of day eight, because those things just happen. So right now, Jack has been infected with an airborne version of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, of which the human version is known as Mad Cow Disease. Figures while the rest of us slobs would contract something like that through eating steak, Jack just has to one up us all and contract it through fighting terrorists. Speaking of which; my admiration for Hodges continues to grow. First (in a bit that I saw coming), he convinced his main underling to put on a show and pretend to help Tony while feeding the government false information the whole time. While I hope that Hodges gets his in the end, it's interesting to see the justification he's using to put up a fight against the federal government--"you've had your search, now get off our private property." That really does put the FBI and the White House in an unenviable position, which (it looks like) only Jack will be able to get them out of. Going back to my initial statement- that this season makes up for the last season- that's one thing that's a complete about-face from last season. The scenes involving the president interacting with the cabinet are so much more interesting. They did a good job tonight of explaining why the President couldn't just send in Delta Force to deal with Starkwood. Had they needed to have this conversation last season, they would have had to invoke the 25th Amendment, get the President's sister involved and have Powers Boothe sneer for 15 minutes before realizing they couldn't do anything. That's not to say that people in the administration aren't trying to undermine the President. I still think Olivia is evil, and I'm not buying her little Stockholm Syndrome moment with Aaron. She's just as calculating as Sherry Palmer and is putting all of her pieces in place for something. Even though that's my least favorite storyline so far this year, overall, it's not that bad. One other thing about tonight-- every now and then, 24 lets someone famous do a cameo. A few seasons ago, they had John McCain walking through CTU. Was it me, or was the strike team leader tonight played by Bruce Springsteen?

What do you think? For more 24, check out blogs.4bauer.com.

We're Number One!

King Tom — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 21:59:21 +0000

The Kingdom hasn't been this popular since a picture of my foot ruled the Chinese version of Google. Today, I noticed an increased amount of traffic resulting from Google searches for the words Jack Bauer Mad Cow. So I did a little googling of my own, and the number one site for those four words is the Kingdom (specifically, yesterday's review of 24). So for at least today, we here at the Kingdom are the number one in the world for something.

The Reyes-Straume Roundtable Will Address Whatever Happened [Happened]

King Tom — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 03:04:51 +0000

Usually, when Lost throws a Kate episode out there, I get very bitter afterwards, wishing the episode had focused on someone more integral to the show's overall mythology. Don't get me wrong, I still think there are plenty of other characters on the island (everyone but Sun) who has a more interesting story and who is more integral to the Lost saga. But at least tonight, after Whatever Happened, Happened, I'm not bitter. For a Kate episode, it was not that bad. There are a few reasons for this; The continued self-assertion of Sawyer as leader of the survivors. DHARMA. The continued downward spiral of Jack into the biggest idiot on the island. The Others. But most of all, the two conversations between Hurley and Miles discussing time travel and whether they're living in their own future or their past. (And by the way, Miles is right, he just doesn't know why. I think) Lost has a great ability to throw together two characters of seemingly different viewpoints and have them be the most interesting thing on the show. It's happened before with Locke and Eko, with Locke and Ben, Ben any Sayid, Sawyer and Hurley, etc. Tonight, Miles joined that inner circle, by having a conversation with Hurley that I'm sure most of the Lost fanbase has had at some point since this time travel stuff started happening. It wasn't only the witty banter between Hugo and Miles that made these scenes stand out, but the body language that made me feel like the conversation was real and I was right there. And leave it to Hurley to throw out the reference to Back to the Future to tie Lost's time travel rules to something that thanks to popular culture, everyone can understand (or at least pretend to understand). And I would be remiss if I didn't mention Hurley already has a tie to the BTTF trilogy. It figures though, as the roundtable gets down to work discussing the things on the island that really matter, that former leader Jack would back out of the convo for a shower. Even though earlier I mentioned that Jack was the biggest idiot on the island, I think he's beginning to realize his place. He doesn't have all the answers. He doesn't have a 'leadership' role anymore. He has to wait for his destiny. And while he slipped up in the beginning (wanting to take charge when everyone else in DHARMA was trying to put out fires), he soon realized his place was just to go with the flow. Although, that didn't stop him from pulling an Ivan Drago ("If he dies, he dies") when offered to the opportunity to save Ben. By now we know that DHARMA and the survivors won't be the ones to save Ben. Rather it'll be the Others (and Richard not caring what Ellie or Charles wants, because they're not the boss of him) who save Ben. From Sayid's attempt at murdering Ben to Jack's decision not to save him to Sawyer, Juliet and Kate's choice to bring him to the Others, we now know who is responsible for turning Ben into Ben, and it is those who bore the brunt of his actions in their past. Kind of a reverse revenge. And then we have Ben waking up from his 'injuries' at the end of the episode. I'm going to throw out a crazy idea here--even though they're separated by 30 years, both the 'current day' Ajira 316 survivors in 2008 and all the lostaways who went back to 1977 are living in some kind of parallel time. That's why Ben was out cold and seemed to wake up after Richard let the island do its work. While it happened in the past- for some reason, the wavelength of the action committed back then hit him now, because in a way, they're all still in the same time. But I'm probably wrong. Another thing I'm probably wrong about now--a few weeks ago, I said I thought Ben knew that Locke would come back to life on the island. Well, judging by the 'oops I just crapped my pants' look on Ben's face when he woke up to Locke, I don't think that's what Ben was expecting to see. But I still think he's a good guy. Even if his innocence was taken by Richard Alpert (not in that way!). Two other things- -Are we done with the whole Aaron/Claire's mom bit yet? -I thought Cassidy lived in New Mexico. How did Kate get there a) within the time window she had from Los Angeles and b) without validating the terms of her plea agreement? What did you think?

It's That Time of Year Again

King Tom — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 19:05:32 +0000

I know I'm almost late with this, but happy Days of Greatness everybody! Since 2005, WrestleMania and Opening Day (for the Yankees, at least) have been within 24 hours of each other. And if that isn't cause for celebration, I don't know what is. Caught WrestleMania last night- it was an entertaining event, with 40-somethings Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker stealing the show in an epic battle. With only eight matches, it felt a little light, especially considering the 20-minute "concert" after the first match. Luckily, that gave us time to call for a pizza. Also, the event was padded by recap packages, which helped those of us who don't watch Raw on a weekly basis anymore catch up. Coming up in an hour or so is Opening Day for the Yankees. Unless it's about Hideki Irabu or my trips to Yankee Stadium, I don't really write much about baseball (although maybe I should). But I am looking forward to this season and I'm happy with the moves the Yankees made since October. If anything, baseball is a reminder that the days are getting longer and the weather is getting more bearable. Like I said, if that isn't cause for celebration, I don't know what is.

Jonas Hodges. On The Balcony. With The Whiskey Bottle.

King Tom — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 03:02:57 +0000

Throughout tonight's episode of 24, I kept on waiting for some action. More specifically, some action involving Jack Bauer. Sure, we had Special Agent Larry Fine's staredown with the Starkwood security team. And we had Tony sneaking into the bunker with the help of Doug something-or-other (played by the guy who was Hank Jennings). But the first 40 minutes of tonight's episode was pretty light while Jack Bauer stood around in FBI headquarters suffering from the early effects of Mad Cow disease. But then [My Name Is] Jonas Hodges went to go have a little talk with Doug and things picked up considerably.

Over the past few episodes, I've become a big fan of Jon Voight and his portrayal of Jonas Hodges, going so far as to say he's one of the best villians this show has had (right up there with Charles Logan). Well, Jonas' scene with Doug did not let me down. A few weeks ago, I expressed my view that Hodges should have killed Doug for dissenting. Well, after delivering a great monologue on why he's willing to use weapons of mass destruction on his own country, Jonas had himself a drink of Doug's own whiskey. Then he crowned Doug with the bottle a few times.

Not content with breaking Doug's skull, Jonas hulked up and gave him a toss over the railing. Those second-story offices will get you every time.

And yes, after all this, Doug is dead. Funny, no matter how much I look, I can't seem to find Sangala on that tasteful map of the world on Doug's floor.

After staring at his handiwork for a few minutes, Jonas goes right over to the bar and cleans himself up. Despite the paucity of scenes tonight involving Jack or any action whatsoever, these scenes made this episode. Jonas Hodges isn't the seemingly weak president pulling everyone's strings behind the scenes. The show could never again come up with another reveal as great as Charles Logan being the real mastermind back in season five. But by giving 24 a villain who has near-unlimited military resources at his disposal, an axe to grind with the way he's been treated by the federal government and the weapons of mass destruction to cause some mayhem, the creators of this show have redeemed themselves for the mental torture they put us through last season. Sure, Jack will probably (as commenter Ed pointed out last week) storm Starkwood in hour 23, shoot Hodges right between the eyes and "find the world’s largest syringe with ‘MAD COW VACCINE’ written on the side in big bold letters." But until he does, he has an adversary who is Blofeldian in his approach and execution, which is something that not even Bond can say for himself these days. One more item in the seemingly endless gush of Hodges admiration this week's post has become- that one-on-one conversation with the president was the best communication of any bad guy ever. Not only did he hack into the White House communications system (or more likely, use a back door he put there to begin with), but he also used his own cell phone to transmit not only the visual of the missiles he has, but of himself while he was talking to the president. I don't know why, but that scene was just awesome.

Of course, to paraphrase the Bunco Squad Detective, "If the president didn't negotiate with terrorists, this would never have happened." For more Bauer talk, check out blogs.4bauer.com. What did you think?

Ben Linus Would Rather Be Dead [Is Dead]

King Tom — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:45:46 +0000

I'm sitting here, 20 minutes after the ending of tonight's episode of Lost, Dead Is Dead, wondering what to say. As with any episode of Lost featuring Ben or Locke, it was a solid episode. Throw in some exposition about Ben's past along with hints at some longtime island mysteries, and you have an awesome episode. I was on the edge of my seat all night, and before I knew it, this episode was over. And I couldn't really think of anything to say about it. So I'll start with this: If, like Ben, at the end, we're judged by the hairstyles we had earlier in our life, I'm in trouble. And if you've ever seen the Superman curl that I had earlier in life, that's big trouble. But enough about me. Back to Lost... So Ben has been judged. Through the flashbacks, we came to see how a teenage Ben (who must have been auditioning for a part in the New Otherton Players' spring production of Oliver with that hair) "acquired" Alex, was somewhat responsible for Charles' banishment from the island and tried getting even by killing Penny. His only major sin was Alex's death, something he told Charles was a sacrifice for the island that he was willing to make. One of Ben's contemporaries might even say she was "a sacrifice the island demanded."

While seen through Ben's eyes, that is a major sin. She was an innocent (one who, through his actions, had a longer life than she would have had otherwise). Still, he could have prevented her death. But he chose instead to protect the island. Yet the island forgives him, but sentences him to a fate that for Ben, may be worse than death: He has to follow John Locke now. Some other things: -The events with the Ajira 316 survivors are intriguing. Caesar is dead. Too bad. I never liked him much any way. And now that she has some guns, Illana (who we were told was working for Avellino, an associate of Widmore) is in charge, asking what's in the statue's shadow. I'm guessing we'll find out soon who was shooting at Locke, Sawyer, Juliet and everyone else in the canoes a few weeks ago. -We find out more about when and why Charles left. Contrary to what he said in The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham, it looks like he left because he broke the rules, not because he was "tricked." I do have to admit that my theory of Ben tricking him into turning the wheel was wrong. Still, because he wasn't entirely honest with Locke, I stand by my belief that he's one of the "bad guys." -I have to go and watch that conversation between Ben and Charles on the dock a few more times. I think it went something like: Charles had a life off the island (while we know that Ben's been off the island before). Charles was jealous that Ben had Alex. Ben swore the island was his priority, making him a better fit to be leader. But be careful what you wish for, because you might have to sacrifice it for the island. -I enjoyed all the looks at people in the past, but some of the wigs were horrible. -I think Sun would have gone along with anything Locke or Ben said. I know you want to find your husband who's living 30 years in the past, but we have to go track down a smoke monster first. -How did Locke know Ben needed to visit the temple? -On so many levels, the scene with Ben in the temple's inner chamber was a call back to parts of Raiders of the Lost Ark. -Was it me, or after "judging" Ben, as the smoke recessed back into the holes, in addition to the normal smokey noises, was there also a laugh? What did you think?

You Can Tune A Piano, But You Cannot...

King Tom — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 00:32:08 +0000

Something that's been stuck in my mind the last 24 hours: Last night, The Civee and I were watching The Office when Michael said he "had a dream where [he] ate a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich." This has disturbed me all day. Not the idea of a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. Sure, that's got to be nasty. But not disturbing. Rather, it was the use of the phrase "tuna fish." We don't say we eat turkey fowl for Thanksgiving (not that I would). Nor do we grill steak meat during the summer time. So why do we say "tuna fish" when referring to that gray stuff that comes in a can? I have a feeling I will now be fighting this crusade for the rest of my life. By the way, fresh tuna is much better than anything that comes in a can. Case in point, this is one of the Civee's favorite recipes (for someone who didn't like fish before we got married):

Tuna Sticks in Pepper Sauce

1 tuna steak per person

1 clove garlic

1/2 cup sesame seeds

1 jar roasted red peppers

4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

Pinch of salt

Cut the tuna steak(s) lengthwise, turning each steak into 3-4 “sticks.” Cover each side of each stick with the sesame seeds. Place garlic, red peppers and salt into food processor. Blend until peppers form a sauce. Add 2 tablespoons of the olive oil and pulse to mix. Heat a pan on high, adding the remaining olive oil. Cook the tuna sticks for a minute per side. Remove sticks from pan, plate and cover with the red pepper sauce.

A Supervillain's Fantasy: Taking A Swing At The President

King Tom — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 02:58:02 +0000

The missile base is destroyed. The bad guy is in custody.

Father and daughter are reunited and... ...Tony Almeida has switched his loyalties once again. Color me disappointed. After saving the day by risking up his life to blow up some gas tanks, Tony killed Special Agent Larry Fine, which is a shame. In recent hours, Larry was starting to redeem himself for his earlier missteps (of which there were many) and was actually starting to become likeable (even if his "Hey Bauer, this isn't CTU" catchphrase didn't sweep the nation. Unless there's a second underground CTU (who could they bring back--Ricky Schroeder? One-armed Chase? Teddy Hanlin? Tom Baker?) working to uncover a deeper plot than the one Tony, Buchanan and Chlöe had been working on earlier in this season, I don't see it. Otherwise, it feels like they just turned Tony heel just to pad out the rest of the season. Speaking of villians, the scenes between the President and [My Name is ] Jonas Hodges in the Oval Office were awesome. Hodges had the megalomaniacal tendencies down pat, acting as if he owned the place and had the President in the palm of his hand. While Taylor gave off the impression that she was just humoring him, there was part of me (judging from her past discussions with terrorists this day alone) thinking she'd actually give in to some of his demands. Of course, once the missile base was blown up, that didn't matter as Taylor made a smart move and had Jonas and his lackey arrested, leading to the best scene of the night (above). As Taylor stated she wouldn't give into his demands and was prepared to treat him like a common criminal, Hodges snapped and took a lunge at the President. I actually believed he was going to take a shot at her (and he probably would have if he hadn't been restrained by Secret Service Agents). It's little touches like that- the fact that he thinks he could get away with punching the President- and the little moments of snapping (both here and the incident with Doug last week) that make him such a great character. On the other hand, in the not-so-riveting TV category this week, you have Jack's reunion with Kim. I was actually glad they said she flew out from California (rather than move to DC like everyone else has). Still, the reunion was awkward, because the last time we saw Kim, she was shacking up with C. Thomas Howell. By this point in story-time, she's got to be in her late twenties, and while Jack says he doesn't want her involved in the treatment, she won't take his no for an answer. While I said earlier that the best scene of tonight's episode was Jonas losing it in the Oval Office, the second-best was something that technically didn't take place in the episode. After the closing ticks, Mary Lynn Rajskub, who plays Chlöe, gave a little PSA about saving the country. Or the environment. Or something. I wasn't exactly paying attention, because (aside from thinking where's Chlöe been all these hours) I was trying to follow all the facial expressions she packed into the brief 30-second promo. Some of the best are to the left. Hope you enjoy it. For more Bauer talk, check out blogs.4bauer.com. What did you think?

Some Like It Hoth And Some Sweat When The Heat Is On

King Tom — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 03:33:47 +0000

Ask a hundred people what they would do if they could travel back in time and you'd get a hundred different answers. On tonight's episode of Lost, Some Like it Hoth, we heard what Hurley's plans are. And all I have to say is it's about time someone puts forth a time travel plan that makes sense. Although I do have to say that I think Hurley was wrong in saying Empire Strikes Back could be improved. Hopefully, he was talking about just improving Return of the Jedi (with the whole "Ewoks suck" comment) and leaving well enough alone with Empire. But he would also have the power to influence the prequels. While I don't have the issues with the prequels that some do, there are some areas that could be improved, and that would really be the advantage of time travel. As a side note, I was planning on writing about how it would be torture for a Star Wars fan to travel back to the '70s in 2004 and not have the chance to see Episode III. But then, Hurley had a few years off the island, so hopefully, he got the chance to catch up on Revenge of the Sith in the inbetween years. But enough about Star Wars... ..tonight's episode of Lost was centered around Miles, yet another island castaway who has father issues. Miles has spent his whole life looking for a father that he thought (because of his mother's story) didn't want any part of him. Miles finds his father, and while, in his and Hurley's words, may be a bit of a douchebag, he actually doesn't appear to be that bad of a father. Dr. Chang gives attention to his son and speaks of him lovingly. By the end of the episode, I think we're meant to see that the only thing Miles holds against his father is that he likes country music.

We also saw more of another father on the island, one who wasn't so loving towards his son. Roger Linus, after hearing of his son's disappearance, did what he did best- proceeded to get plastered. And what better place to do that than on a kid's playset? Roger's an interesting character. He is very unhappy with everything going on in his life. He hates his son and his job. He doesn't have regular female companionship. And when a woman does show the slightest bit of interest in him, he goes and accuses her of having something to do with the disappearance of his son.

Roger Linus sure has a way with the ladies. Now, yes, Kate did have something to do with Ben being missing. And she did lay it on pretty thick. But you would think that she and Jack would be sensible enough to say that she's just trying to help out. Or be there for Roger. But unfortunately, Roger works on a different frequency than the rest of us. So he'll go to head hippie Horace and the jig will soon be up for LaFleur and crew. Good going, Kate! With the long-awaited reveals about Miles, the gathering suspicion on Kate and the rest of the castaways and the introduction of a possible new player, this episode sets up the remainder of the season very nicely. Too bad we have to wait two weeks. Some other things: -They get Sports Illustrated on the island? Miles should make some bets on the World Series and make some cash. -The way Horace was throwing around the phrase "circle of trust," you'd think he's a time traveller who's seen Meet the Parents 200 times. -Is it me, or does the information Miles shared about the dead guy with Naomi prove Widmore's behind the fake 815? -This Bram fella (who's working with Illana on the island) is interesting. Does he work for Ben? Or is there a third party involved now? He knows something about the island, and about Miles' past. But he gave Miles a choice. And when Miles turned him down, Bram let Miles go. So he's not a killer. At least not yet. What did you think?

Dear Tony, Jack Will Shoot You In The Face. K Thx Bye.

King Tom — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 02:53:45 +0000

Last week, during the 1:00 a.m. - 2:00 a.m. hour of Season 7 or 24, Tony's heel turn was the big surprise. During tonight's hour, we saw evil Tony in action, and even more surprising than seeing evil Tony was watching him plot against Jack, and in the final scenes, actually point a gun at and threaten Jack. Jack Bauer has the symptoms of Mad Cow disease. His memory may be Swiss Cheese and he may be unable to control even the smallest of bodily functions. He may not be able to communicate that Tony has betrayed him and the country (yet again). But one thing is for sure. No matter how much Tony may have a grip on the situation now, Jack Bauer will extract his revenge on Tony Almeida. Jack Bauer will shoot Tony in the face. Possibly after incapaciting Tony using his legs. But Tony's actions will not go unpunished. The first three quarters of tonight's episode actually left me underwhelmed. We didn't even near the depths of last season, but there were a few disconcerting elements. The whole fake out the FBI to escape the perimeter gag was already pulled once this season. You would think by now they would have code words to assure who they're talking to on the other end of their walkie talkies is a legit agent. Or at least check the transponder (like Jack suggested) before sending all agents on what could be a wild goose chase. The other disappointing development saw Supervillain extraordinaire [My Name is] Jonas Hodges get taken down a peg. He was napping in a White House holding cell (where things are back to working order mere hours after a terror attack) where we found out not only is he not in charge of all the bad stuff that's going on today, but whoever these 'Others' are want him to take the fall. As much as we here at the Kingdom have appreciated the genius of Jonas so far this season, for the first time, it can be said that him taking the fall (and answering to someone else) is very un-Blofeldian. I am glad he's not dead and may still be of some use. But now, rather than evil mastermind, he's more like a crazy uncle plotting his revenge on the mailman because his publisher's clearinghouse form came a week late. Now we're left wondering who's in charge of the fourth stage of this season's plot. I was surprised to hear Jonas and his non-lawyer refer to them by name:

But that's just my guess. I'll probably be wrong on that one. Two other things: Once he was in the field, Jack was back to his normal self again (well, before the shaking spells started). Seeing him check out the corpse and evidence and tell the on-scene medical examiner he had it all wrong was proof that Jack's still got it. In fact, after that wonderful use of his powers of deduction, I think they should re-open the JFK files and let Jack sift through that evidence. Jack could erase forty-plus years of conspiracy theories in just a few minutes. But first, he has to get his medication, find out about his granddaughter (who scarily looked similar to him) and shoot Tony in the face. I have no doubt Jack can do all that. Finally, to follow up last week's save the environment PSA featuring Chlöe, this week, FOX chose to run one featuring Carlos Bernard, the actor who plays Tony.

Probably not a good idea. Especially considering said character made Jack Bauer mad. After seeing that, I have this enormous urge to club a baby seal, chop down the rainforest and buy a gas guzzling SUV. Save the Earth Tony? Save your breath. For more Bauer talk, check out blogs.4bauer.com. What did you think?

Don't Call It A Comeback, Irabu's Been Here For Years

King Tom — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 00:29:24 +0000

Looks like Hideki Irabu is giving up his life of noodle shop proprietor by day and bar fighter by night. According to NPB Tracker, the Yankees' all time leader in wins by a Japanese starting pitcher is considering a comeback:

Nikkan Sports is reporting noted fat toad Hideki Irabu is working out in LA and aiming to resume his career in the US independent leagues some time this season. The article says that he’s played in amateur games and is hitting 90 mph on the gun in his workouts.

I've made it no secret that for some reason, I'm a fan of Irabu. At times, his stuff was above average, and for a few months in '98, he was the Yankees' best starting pitcher. But he had some major attitude issues and when he wasn't trying, his stuff was all too hittable. That and a habit of not covering first base led to a trade to Montreal where Yankees GM Brian Cashman must have had some incriminating photos of Expos front office officials to get a few decent players back for Irabu. Hideki floundered in Montreal and also served as the Rangers' closer before "retiring," opening up a noodle shop in LA and another in Japan. According to the NPB link, he also tried out for Japan's WBC team this winter. Looks more like he participated in the tryouts rather than actually made the team. Still, if all he's shooting for is another shot in the big leagues, best of luck to him. If somehow he happens to end up in Columbus pitching for or against the Clippers, I may have to dig one of my two Irabu T-shirts out of the closet. (Actually, now that I think about it, I may have worn one last summer. Should I be admitting that in a public forum?)

Loud Noises!

King Tom — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 03:04:01 +0000

Tonight's episode of 24 (Day 7, 3:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m.) didn't have much in the way of fisticuffs (or as Jack Bauer practices it, killingpeoplewithyourlegsicuffs). There were no gunfights. And no big explosions. But there were plenty of scenes of people yelling at each other.

There was really only one action scene in tonight's episode- where Tony confronted and dispatched the lackey with the cannister. Other than that, there was a lot of exposition and moving pieces into place, [hopefully] setting the scene for a strong finish to this season. The real action of this episode came in three heightened verbal confrontations. The first, between President Taylor and her daughter, proved why it's not a good idea to have a family member serve as chief of staff to the President of the United States. Not only do you need someone who's capable of looking at the situation from a non-emotional standpoint, but also, especially in the 24-verse, family members can only serve to mess things up royally. The second confrontation was between Jack Bauer and [My Name Is] Jonas Hodges, the Blofeldian villain of this season who's way down the path to insanity. Actually, the confrontation started with Jonas against the world, but he focused his anger on Jack once Jack joined him in the room. Jonas started the conversation by sharing his feelings about the government's persecution of Jack: that it was wrong. The scary thing was that I felt (and I'm sure a great deal of the rest of the 24 audience also felt) he was right. Whether Jonas was saying it because he believed it, or because he felt it would help get Jack on his side, the fact is he said something that Jack needed to hear. From there, there was some explanation about this group of Others, and whether Jonas' family could be protected. I'm pretty sure Jack gave Jonas his word, which means that Hodges' family is already en route to a secure location. Finally, we saw a rather one-sided conversation between Jack and Special Agent The Bowler, in which Jack told her something that's been needed to be said to her since hour one of this season, namely to shut up and do your job. Unfortunately, Jack lost some of his credibility at the end of his rant, as he proved he's joining Hodges on the convoy to crazy town by claiming David Palmer was the nation's current president. Jack probably should've stopped after "do your job." Two other things about tonight's episode: -We found out the 'Others' Hodges referred to was a secret group of people in suits at 3:30 a.m. connected via anonymous Web chat. I was a bit disappointed, because during the random shots of the cabal members, I was hoping to see one of two people:

A random punky teenage hacker who just happened to stumble into the chatroom.
Charles Logan

-It's good to have Chlöe back. It was even better to see her get to the FBI in one piece, in less than five minutes. Maybe it's just because the ways of 24 are ingrained in my mind, but when she was on the phone with Jack, and he said he'd send a car for her, I expected Tony to be behind the wheel of said car and Jack's mission for the rest of the season to be to put a bullet in Tony's head, to find a vaccine, and to rescue Chlöe. It's good to know after seven seasons, this show isn't entirely predictable. For more Bauer talk, check out blogs.4bauer.com. What did you think?

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

King Tom — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 02:58:12 +0000

I think Jack Bauer vs. Caloriemate has been dethroned as my favorite Japanese commercial... Remember kids, when faced with a fire, use your heads.

Dear Daniel, Mommy Doesn't Love You.

King Tom — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 02:50:36 +0000

If there's one (for lack of a better word) constant on Lost, it's main characters with serious daddy issues. Whether it's a father stealing a child's kidney, running off for years on end, or just living life in a drunken haze, fathers on Lost have been villified to no end. But on tonight's episode of Lost, The Variable, we met a (again, for lack of a better word) variable to the forumla. Meet Daniel Faraday. He's a thirty-something physicist and professor at Oxford with possible moral and ethical issues when it comes to human experimentation. He's travelled through time, likes redheads and long walks through the jungle. He has possible mental issues (but no one's perfect). He wants to make the island world a better place. Oh, and he has mommy issues. I thought when we found out back in season one when Locke's father conned him out of his kidney that that was the coldest thing one person could do to their offspring. But now that we've seen more of Eloise Hawking's backstory, where she raises her son to be a genius at physics, then takes away all his interests to get him to concentrate on his gifts before sending him to an island where she knows he'll travel back through time only to be shot by her, I'm left thinking one thing: Locke got off easy. Still, if the two 'sides' on Lost are aligned in the form of Eloise vs. one-time partner Charles Widmore, I'd rather be on Hawking's side. We know (and finally got it confirmed from the horse's mouth) that Widmore faked the plane crash and sent a boatload of mercenaries to kill every person on the island. On the other hand, while Eloise sent her son back to the island (where she knew she would end up shooting him), she's sent people there to prevent catastrophic incidents from occurring. It's looking like younger Eloise is about to have her hands full, as Jack and Kate are about to pick up Daniel's mission of preventing one particular catastrophic incident from happening. We'll find out in the next few weeks whether or not they succeed. I have a feeling that they might "succeed" and have an effect, but it won't really change anything. In his short monologue before storming the Others' camp, Daniel hypothesided that preventing the impending accident would lead to a chain of events that would keep Oceanic Flight 815 from crashing. Somehow, I get the feeling that won't happen. Oceanic 815 had problems before Desmond didn't push the button. While Faraday was correct that human free will is the variable to the constants of time, who's to say that he's not counting on the free will of Jacob, who may be the one pulling all the strings here. It's enough to make my head hurt and go Faraday-level crazy. What did you think?

100 Percent Chance of A Parade In Chicago

King Tom — Mon, 04 May 2009 02:02:34 +0000

Up until this weekend, most of my knowledge of the City of Chicago came from two sources: Ferris Bueller's Day Off and The Fugitive. Well, this weekend The Civee and I had a chance to expand that knowledge- we were invited to a birthday party for her sister Saturday held on one of the rooftops across the street from Wrigley Field. We decided to head up there Saturday morning and return this (Sunday morning). With the game starting at noon (Chicago time) we figured we'd have enough time to get to Chicago, park at the hotel and take "The L" up to Wrigley in time for the first pitch. We hit Chicago at 11, and seemingly, our plan was looking pretty damn good. We got off the highway and on to Columbus (the street our hotel was located on) and all of a sudden, we were greeted by hundreds of cars not moving. Columbus, it turns out, was closed. In the great tradition of Ferris Bueller's Day Off and The Fugitive, there was a parade in Chicago yesterday. Not only did we have to seperate from the conglomeration of cars turning downtown Chi-town into a parking lot, we had to navigate to our hotel before we could carry out the rest of our plan. Eventually, we managed to make our way to the hotel, but we pulled in the parking lot at 12:05 and our plan was shot to sunshine. We did make it to Wrigley by the top of the third, which wasn't that bad, considering we were set back an hour. Still, I couldn't get upset--the parade goers all had Polish flags, scarves, t-shirts and other paraphernalia. Turns out it was the annual Polish Constitution Day Parade. As we sat in traffic, I actually considered ditching the ball game and joining my bretheren in celebration of the ratification of the world's second-oldest democratic constitution. But we had a ball game to go to.

The rooftop experience was fun. I wasn't surprised that most of the people on the rooftop weren't there to watch the game (especially with the free food and drinks). It was nice to see former Yankees Ted Lilly (8 IP, 1ER, 10K) and Alfonso Soriano (2-5) have a good day. It was even nicer to not get hassled for wearing a Yankees cap. After the game, the Civee and I got back on the L and walked around the city a bit. It was fun and we'd like to go back sometime for more than just a day. If we do, our experience (and the movies) have taught us there will be a parade that day.

Of Patsies, Overachieving Hitmen and a Wasted Supervillain

King Tom — Tue, 05 May 2009 03:03:13 +0000

Let me say off the bat that Season 7 of 24 has been great. The show has redeemed itself from the waste that was Day 6. That being said, I'm glad there are only a handful more episodes left, because I'm getting tired of these episodes, like tonight's (4:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m.), that are all plot setup with a minute or two of action tacked on at the end. Most of tonight's episode was spent on the saga of Jabraan, who's being set up by Tony as a Lee Harvey Oswald-style patsy. Sure, he may have some sympathies, but he's not really a bad guy and is only following Tony's demands to protect his brother's life. Unfortunately, it will probably be in vain, because seven seasons of 24 have taught me that patsies don't outlive their usefulness. So in other words, thanks for being a nice guy Jabraan, see you later. Another focus of tonight's episode was the continuing saga of [My Name Is] Jonas Hodges. First, we saw the first daughter put out a contract on his life, only to get cold feet when it was time to pull the trigger. However, she unknowingly hired the world's most overachieving hitman, who carried out the job with an old fashioned car bomb before being paid. And little did he know that he wasn't going to get paid. Would it be too much to ask for one of the plot points in the final hours of this season to be Olivia finding out what happens when hitmen don't get paid? Speaking of paying the hitman, a quick glance at the Olivia's screen showed that Hodges' life was worth $250,000. I know she's the president's daughter and [acting] chief of staff, but how did she happen to have a quarter of a million dollars at her disposal? Did she have to ask her mother for it? Or is it the accumulated fruits of her efforts to blackmail her friends in the media over the years? Either way, I'm really hoping the hitman notices not all is right in his bank account. Sadly, the anonymous overachieving hitman was accurate, as his car bomb (seemingly) killed Jonas Hodges, one of 24's most compelling bad guys. Whether in command of his private army or shackled in government custody, Hodges maintained a level of bluster unmatched by anyone else. He was entertaining, and as the former Hank Jennings found out, deadly. Voight as Hodges stole every scene he was in, including the one in which he was getting his new identity from the federal marshal. Hodges' refusal to accept the realities of witness protection reminded me of something else...

I'm sad to see Hodges go. Part of me was hoping FOX would launch a 24 spinoff next season featuring the former 24 supervillain in witness protection. You could have Hodges living in San Diego with Rick Moranis as his FBI handler. Or surround him with wacky neighbors. Or nevermind the wacky neighbors, just have Hodges standing on his lawn for a half hour screaming at whatever or whoever passes by and just watch the neighbors' reactions. It's gold, I tell ya. And finally, yeah, there was some Jack in this episode. Unlike last week, he calmly dealt with Special Agent The Bowler, at a point when most other people would have wanted to rip her head off. And he lead a raid on Jabraan's apartment, but sadly, that wasn't enough for those of us who are looking for some real action. Here's hoping we get it next week. For more Bauer talk, check out blogs.4bauer.com. What did you think?

Follow[ing] The Leader May Not Be The Best Idea

King Tom — Thu, 07 May 2009 03:38:10 +0000

Since coming back from the dead, John Locke hasn't been quite right, and all signs pointed to him going off the deep end on tonight's episode of Lost, Follow The Leader.

First of all, there's the very fact that he came back from the dead, which seemingly goes against the laws of nature (which may or may not apply on Lost Island). Secondly, he's had a higher-than-usual rapport with the island- knowing what to do and where to go, and as we saw tonight, knowing exactly when he was. And finally, tonight, we heard of Locke's plan, which made me think he's lost it.Locke, for some reason, has it in his head that he's going to kill an invisible man. Throughout the past five seasons, generally, I've been in Locke's corner. From wanting to open the hatch to his obsession with the button to rescuing his friends, I've been behind his plans. But killing someone he's never even seen? That's crazy.

And I have a feeling if Richard were to find out what Locke really has in store, he'd think so too. From his reactions by the end of the episode, Richard (the eternal advisor) gave off the vibe that he thought Locke may not have been the best choice for leader all along. Sure he's been tied to the island his whole life. And he's been healed in a way that makes him special. But there's such a thing as causing too many waves, and that just won't fly. If Locke's main plan isn't to re-unite with the losties trapped back in the DHARMA days, I'm interested in finding out what it is (and I'm sure there's more to it than just killing Jacob). But like the accusation he pinned on Ben, he's never seen Jacob. And the most concrete guidance he got from Jacob actually came from Christian, who's motives we have yet to learn. Locke is freelancing. And whatever he does will tie into the series' end, whether it has to do with the rest of the castaways or whether he's doing something in the island's best interest. I'm guessing Richard and Ben team up to try and stop them, and unfortunately (for them), they won't succeed. So all-in-all, with a final episode within a year away, this series is going somewhere unpredictable, and whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it. Also factoring into the whole end game is Jack's plan to bring Faraday's theories to life by detonating a hydrogen bomb to stop "The Incident," hopefully creating a time loop to cancel out everything that has happened to him in the last four years, which, in his conversation with Kate, we found out caused him to be miserable. Well, for the rest of us, just those parts involving Kate were miserable. I like Jack when he's on his own. But when Kate's around, he turns into this blubbering idiot who's all about the relationship, and that's not the reason that I watch this show. Similarly, in that last scene in the submarine between Sawyer and Juliet, I found myself thinking "I really like them as a couple." And even though I knew it wouldn't happen, I wanted things to turn out well for them. But then Kate was brought on board, and all I could think was how all she does is mess things up. Sawyer and Juliet are compelling characters. Even though their destiny is on the island, from their little conversation on the way to the sub, I thought it might even be interesting to see them off-island. But Kate had to come on board and mess up everything. For the first time, I found myself hoping that if there's a "shocking death" for this year's finale, I hope it's her. I need to get out of this rage that's taken over my mind (thanks, Kate!), so let's discuss the other castaways trapped in the 70s. Sayid's back, and it's nice to see he's survived a few days in the jungle on his own. The guy who hoped to change the future by shooting a not-yet-evil teenager has joined Jack in his journey underwater to find Jughead. The underwater caves are interesting, and could explain how the Others got around the island. But was I the only one wondering in that last scene with Sayid, Jack, Richard and Eloise staring at Jughead, which one of these people knows how to detonate an Atomic Bomb? Somehow, next week, they may find a way. Jack, who's life was just peachy before Oceanic 815 crashed, will find a way to make sure that never happens. But I have a feeling that won't stop it from happening. As we've heard before, the universe has a way of course-correcting. Certain people have to end up on the island. Some may even have to die. And even if the Swan is never built, the Island/Jacob will find a way to get his pieces into place. Finally, this week saw another awesome scene involving a combination of Hurley, Miles and Doctor Chang. In an effort to find out whether Faraday was genius insane or crazy insane, Chang attacked the weakest link of the group while looking for information. Sadly, Hurley was confronted with the one question he feared the most: Who is the president of the United States? This, after bungling questions about his age and the Korean War proved too much for Hurley to handle and he spilled the beans about being from the future. (I would have been suspicious a few days earlier after sampling some of his culinary creations. Dipping sauces for waffles? Garlic Mayo? did they even have such things in the 70's?) Anyway, this scene between the four was great, not just from a dialogue standpoint, but also because of the visual contact and facial expressions. Hurley knew the gig was up, and Miles and Jin expressed a combination of pity and disbelief in Hurley's lack of knowledge/cool. (And Jin may have been a little sensitive about the whole Korean War thing). Meanwhile, Chang seemed somewhat relieved yet anxious about what to do next. Hopefully, next week, we'll see the story behind his video broadcast to the future. The other effect of the conversation was Miles telling the truth to his father, just before seeing his father force his mother and baby him on the sub. For Miles, who believed his father wanted no part of him, this must have been hard. But as an audience member, it was great to see. Who knows what's next for the inhabitants of Lost Island? The season finale is seven days away. What did you think?

Beef Jerky Business Cards: Why American Inventors Rule

King Tom — Sun, 10 May 2009 14:42:19 +0000

The airplane. Baseball. The Internet. These are just a few things among the many that the genius of American Inventors has given to the world. And the hits just keep on coming. For example, MeatCards, business cards made out of beef jerky. The people behind MeatCards use laser beams to etch information into a slab of beef jerky, turning it from a delicious piece of food into a delicious piece of food containing potentially useful (or non-useful, depending on what you do) business information. Of course, the safety of eating laser-etched beef jerky may be debatable, as Jason Kincaid at TechCrunch found out:

I haven’t receieved my MeatCards yet, and thus have been unable to taste the goods for myself. But I have been assured that they should in theory be edible, albeit with a strange laser-burnt aftertaste. That said, the guys behind MeatCards seem to be interested in finding a way to mark the cards with “Do Not Eat” to make it clear that they don’t want you to eat them - it just opens them up to too many possible legal problems and regulations. But they can’t stop you from doing it.

It's probably not just concerns over eating super-heated beef jerky. Would you really want to eat a piece of jerky handed to you by someone who's been carrying it around in his or her back pocket all day? Regardless, I still think it's a great idea.

Everything's Really Wrapped Up Nicely - Much Quicker Than Usual

King Tom — Tue, 12 May 2009 03:01:00 +0000

[My Name Is] Jonas Hodges is dead. Tony is in custody. The weaponized Mad Cow disease is no longer in the hands of terrorists. Looks like Day Seven is done for Jack Bauer. Wait? What's that? Kim's trapped in the airport with a cougar bewigged terrorist poor hygeine habits? Dammit! I'm sure I'm not the only one who didn't think 24 would wrap up the main terrorist plot tonight (Day 7, 5:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m.), with two hours left to go in the day. So naturally, they found a way to string out the day involving every 24 fan's favorite plot device - Kim's in trouble and needs Jack to save her. Until then, I thought it was a really good episode. The capture of Tony and Jack's communication with Jibran was nicely played out. Also good to see was Jibran turning from patsy to quasi-hero. Since he was introduced two hours ago, I was certain Jibran was dead meat. He fit all the characteristics. Only thing is, would he try a heroic act before falling victim to the villains' plans? Not only did he try one heroic act (trying to alert the clueless transit officers to the fact that something strange was afoot), but he tried two. Instead of just exiting the subway with the knowledge that a chemical device was on board, he chose to help Jack and take the device to safety. I was initially disappointed that Jack didn't tell him to just throw the device in a refrigerator, a disappointment that worsened as Jibran ran up a down escalator and (seemingly) right into the path of an overanxious subway cop. However, Jibran surprised us all by showing some cleverness and claiming he had a bomb, allowing him to do whatever he wanted. He then ran the bomb out to Jack, who (in the nick of time) threw the bomb in something that could pass for a refrigerator. So all my disappointment was for naught. Jack then got the chance to have some words (and show off some fisticuffs) with Tony. Sadly, Tony wasn't willing to share any information, or reasons behind his second heel turn this season. Hopefully, as Jack (seemingly) goes rogue next week, we'll learn more. Just as Jack laid a physical beatdown on Tony, we got to see a rhetorical beatdown inside the FBI offices as Chlöe put Special Agent The Bowler in her place. Yes, Janis did prove to be useful in decoding Tony's Game Boy. But her later pleading for an apology or gratitude made me realize how apt Special Agent Brylcreem's words earlier this season were. I think in the next two hours, these two are going to work together to help Jack, who's being pressured into helping Tony escape. We've seen this before- Jack on some type of earpiece or other communication device where the villain can hear his every move. But that doesn't explain why upon entering the FBI transfer vehicle Jack didn't start blinking wildly, or at least write something down, because last time I checked, you can't hear blinks. But alas, Jack's one weakness is Kim, who's stranded in the airport with the creepiest terrorist couple ever. Well, at least one half is creepy. Aside from being talkative, the woman wasn't bad. The guy, on the other hand, has on (what looks like) a real bad wig and a cheezy sportcoat with elbow patches. But the worst part is his hygeine. He follows the FBI agent who was trailing Kim into the bathroom. He washes his hands before doing the following:

After doing all that, he just leaves the bathroom. I don't know about you, but after killing some random guy and then touching all those surfaces, I wouldn't go touching my face, let alone buy some coffee without washing my hands. So Bewigged Terrorist isn't just evil, but he's unclean too. That's got to be even worse. Hopefully, next week, Jack will bring Bewigged Terrorist and the rest to justice while finding the giant syringe that says "Antidote" on the side. I thought it was funny that Renee told him tonight that he can finally rest. The last time Jack Bauer had some time to rest, he was Shanghaied by Chinese intelligence. For more Bauer talk, check out blogs.4bauer.com. What did you think?

The Incident and The Accident

King Tom — Thu, 14 May 2009 04:28:33 +0000

Dude 1: You're still trying to prove me wrong, aren't you? Dude 2: You are wrong. Dude 1: They come. They fight. They destroy. They corrupt. It always ends the same. Dude 2: It only ends once. Anything that happens before that, it's just progress.

And so began tonight's episode of Lost, the final episode of Season 5, The Incident. If anyone has any idea what happened, I'd like to know. I had to watch that opening scene of tonights episode more than once. I felt like there were a lot of hints involved in the conversation between Jacob and the adversary. Between that and all the flashbacks involving Jacob and characters we've known for a while, it almost felt like we were watching a different show. And with the ambigious ending of tonight's two-hour Lost extravaganza, we Lost fans are left wondering whether it will even be the same show that returns in February of 2010. Not to mention we're all stuck counting down the days for some answers. I'm sure the creators of Lost wouldn't have it any other way. So Jacob's been around a while. He lives under the statue (or as some might say, in the shadow of the statue). He can leave the island at will and has healing powers. Through various methods, he brings people to the island. And he shares the island with the adversary who wants to kill him, but because of some nebulous agreement, can't. It's hinted that the adversary doesn't always appreciate Jacob's bringing people to the island and has a low opinion of mere mortals. But he's more than happy to use them for his nefarious means. Well, Jacob has brought these people to the island for a reason (the aforementioned progress). How that fits in with the incident at the Swan site and all the other assorted happenings on the island is anyone's guess. One of the many things we'll have to wait until next February for. Before tonight, I was strongly of the opinion that the titular incident (Jack's plan to explode Jughead at the Swan site) was always Jack's fault. That no matter what, it was his (and the other Losties) destiny to cause the incident. It was nice to hear my view echoed (ineffectively, but echoed nonetheless) by Miles. I still believe that's what we'll find out next year- that the incident always happened like that and it won't change the future no matter how hard Jack tries. But for some reason, I'm not as sold on that belief as I once was, especially considering that Jack is the main character and even though he was at ground zero of a 20-megaton blast, he'll be back in February. In a change from previous seasons, for the most part this season, Jack hasn't been a putz. He's finally accepted the ideas of destiny and that the island is a special place. He even found time to give Locke a compliment when Richard asked if Jack made Locke's acquaintance. The only time when Jack reverted to Dr. Putz, MD. was when he's pined over Kate. It's not a problem he has alone. Sawyer does it too (which lead to the unraveling of his relationship with Juliet, one of the only tolerable main romantic relationships on the show). So Jack finally believes in destiny and purpose. Thing is, because he "lost her," he thinks his destiny is to erase the past three years of his life to spare himself the suffering. I don't know if it's just me, but I'm fed up with this angst the male leads on this show have over Kate. She's a vanilla character with no tie to the mythology of the series. And she's not Helen of Troy either, so why are they making Kate out to be behind the actions of two of the most important male characters on this show? When Sawyer and Jack went to have their little "five minute" discussion, if they realized that Kate has ruined both their lives, they probably would have come to some sort of agreement, taken the hippy van back to DHARMA-ville and knocked back a few cold ones with Roger (who evidently thinks Ben's real name is "my kid"). Instead, they couldn't settle their differences and had to fight it out. Not that I'm complaining. It was a boss fight scene (one of the best in this series). The highlight for me (as someone who's been frustrated by Jack's tendencies to be a schmendrick) was the bit illustrated to the left, where Sawyer chose to fight dirty by kicking Jack right in the jewels. Usually, I wince when I see something like that happen to any man, but I really think Jack deserved it this time. Unfortunately, they weren't able to come to an agreement and had to go causing the incident which cost Dr. Chang his hand and Juliet her life (sort of). I had the feeling while watching Juliet get wrapped up in that chain that it wasn't just magnetism at work, but the Island working it's magic. It's almost as if the chain were turning into a hand to pull Juliet down into the excavation hole, where she could activate the nuclear device. Unfortunately because of her sacrifice, that was probably the last we've seen of her and Sawyer will join Jack in the idiot club. Speaking of people being taken advantage of, 30 years in the future, we saw Ben Linus (who at one point was always in control of things going on on the island) get played by someone or something pretending to be John Locke. The obvious hints (beyond Locke seeming different since his resurrection and the fact that Locke's body was in the cargo trunk from Ajira 316) point to Locke being the latest physical manifestation of the Adversary, as part of his plan to find a loophole to kill Jacob. By taking advantage of Ben's jealousy of Locke (that Locke was special and he wasn't) and feelings of rejection because he never got to meet Jacob face-to-face, the Adversary was able to play Ben just in the way that Ben has played (what seems like) everyone else on the show. Turns out it wasn't Jacob hanging out in the cabin of craziness, but possibly the Adversary. Of course, this opens up a whole other level of possibilities starting with who Christian was really speaking for (and who Claire's been hanging out with all season). If it was the Adversary, then he was playing also playing Locke in his quest to kill and dispose of Jacob. Seemingly, Jacob knew it was coming. And unless he was either totally oblivious to Ben's intentions or he wanted it to happen, from the way he just let Ben stab him ("You can do what he asks. Or you can go"), I think Jacob has a plan up his sleeve. If Ben wasn't truly special, then why did he have the power he once had? Why was he allowed to get that close to Jacob? My guess is Jacob's death is the first action in the war Widmore warned Locke about. Jacob knew all of this and needed to get the pieces in place. And it starts with Illana (who ends up being a good guy) getting to the island and meeting up with Ricardo. Whatever it is, I think it goes back to that first conversation. Some other things: -That scene with Jacob on the beach was fun. He's kind of like Survivorman. Except he's much better at catching fish. -Had a random thought in the middle of the episode- are the smoke monster, the Island and Jacob all seperate entities? Meaning, do they all have different goals and purposes? If so, it might be helpful to know who wants what. If the smoke monster told Ben to follow 'Locke,' it knew the murder of Jacob would come into play at some point, and in a way, sanctioned the action. -So we've seen Jacob off-island in the 70's, 80's, 90's, 00's and a day before the crash of Ajira 316. Guess the ring of ash doesn't really do that much. -It was nice to see Rose, Bernard and Vincent again. I couldn't tell- was that Jacob's/Horace's cabin they were living in? -The ending was shocking. Much more shocking than the last time a TV show ended a season with a nuclear explosion. Possibly even more shocking was the white screen behind the ending 'LOST.' We're in the home stretch. And everything's going to change.

I'm sure I'll have more throughout the next few months as we await Feburary. But until then...What did you think?

The End of Another Long Day for Jack Bauer

King Tom — Tue, 19 May 2009 03:39:44 +0000

It's 8:00 a.m. in the 24-verse. The sun is back up. Kim Bauer is free from the ruthless clutches of the evil (and unhygenic) terror couple. The guy behind all of the terror conspiracies over the last three seasons is in custody. And Jack Bauer is in the hospital. A fitting end for Day 7 of 24.

Overall, Day 7 shaped up to be an above-average season. It was definitely better than Day 6, but not quite on the level of Days 4 or 5. Still, it was much better than anticipated, and that's a lot to be said for a season with two main failings: 1) It had to follow up Season 6. 2) For the last half of the season, it felt like there wasn't much action, much less action involving Jack Bauer. For most of tonight's two episodes, Jack was either strapped to a table or handcuffed. When the doctor told Tony that Jack would be under sedation for at least 15 minutes, I looked at the Civee and questioned the producer's sanity for keeping Jack out of the action for 15 minutes. According to bauercount.com, before tonight, Jack hasn't seen any meaningful action (re: taken a life) in nine hours. While I'm disappointed that he didn't get his revenge on Tony, at least he upped the kill count in the last two hours by dispatching of the evil emergency room crew with a scalpel while bound by handcuffs. Still in the cuffs, Jack had a brief escape before being recaptured by Tony, who filled us all in to his motivation this whole season: revenge for Michelle. Turns out the guy behind everything else this season (Wilson) was also behind everything else in Season 5. Big surprise there, as we were told Graeme Bauer/Lobot and the rest of the headset gang was behind Chuck Logan and Robocop's little conspiracy. I guess you could always retcon things to say that Wilson was in on their little conference call, just he was off-screen, but I do hope that he is brought to justice and they are able to find a new source of evil for any future seasons. So thanks to Tony/Jack/someone else who shall be named later, they have Wilson, and as the season ended, we saw Renee appear to turn to the dark side to get some answers. Throughout this day, more than ever, we've seen the toll Jack's decisions have taken on him. And he's been more open to sharing his inner conflict, most notably with Renee in their last conversation in the warehouse. Jack mentioned the hypothetical example of whether it's right to sacrifice the law for a bus full of 15 people. While he knows it's right to follow the law, his feelings tell him otherwise when he considers the 15 people. After a day in which she's lost Special Agent Larry Fine and gone through the stress of saving her country, Renee now has to make a similar decision. And it looks like she's letting her feelings, rather than her thoughts, guide her on this one. We can only hope that like Jack, she has no regrets when it's all over. One character we know who is ending the season with a headful of regrets (how's that for a transition?) is first daughter and former acting chief of staff Olivia Taylor. Olivia, who manipulated her way into her position is now facing the consequences of her actions (or some may say, simple karma for ordering the death of [My Name is] Jonas Hodges). When given the choice of how to handle her daughter's actions, President Allison Taylor made the right call (although the wrong one for her family) by pressing charges against Olivia. In a futile move to get the murder swept under the rug, first husband Henry Taylor stole a play out of Sherri Palmer's playbook and threatened the end of the family were the president to press charges. But just like David Palmer, Taylor put her country first and called Henry's bluff. I have a feeling that next season, the first family may be a bit smaller (or have a new member, in the form of chief of staff Ethan Kanin). Speaking of family....it all ends with Kim Bauer.

I don't know how. I don't know why. But in this two-hour spread, Kim Bauer actually proved to be useful. While she wasn't able to escape the clutches of the terror couple, she did follow the bewigged assassin through the airport underbelly, alert law enforcement and retrieve the laptop of doom before the bewigged assassin's car blew up. Then she took off to the hospital, where she agreed to undergo the experimental procedure to help rid her father of the Mad Cow disease he contracted in service of his country. Who knows...with this newfound usefulness, maybe they're grooming her to take Jack's place should he not survive. Naaah...that's crazy talk.

For more Bauer talk, check out blogs.4bauer.com. What did you think?

The Wuggie: A Marketing Tie-In Gone Crazy

King Tom — Sun, 24 May 2009 14:51:25 +0000

I'm as big a Weezer fan as there is out there, but I'm not so sure I can get behind their latest idea (if true). Behold, Rivers Cuomo rocking the "Wuggie":

Last week, Weezer played KROQ's annual Weenie Roast, taking the stage atop a couch bedecked in custom Snuggies. But Rolling Stone says that was just the beginning of a much more sinister plan:

Like the rest of America, he’s obsessed with the Snuggie. So much that his band is — no joke — planning their own line of sleeved blankets called Wuggies. Cuomo told Rolling Stone, “A Wuggie is basically exactly like a Snuggie, except it says Weezer on it. The people at Snuggie are doing it with us and promoting it with us. It’s a totally legit Snuggie.”

Part of me feels the band would be better off giving their attention to the mysterious Album Seven. On the other hand, no one makes more fun of Rivers Cuomo than Rivers Cuomo, so as long as he's having fun with it, why not?

I Guess They Don't Get Out That Often

King Tom — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 04:50:49 +0000

Today, The Civee and I took a mini-road trip to Northwest Ohio. For dinner, we stopped in the city of Bowling Green to eat at a place I've eaten a few times before, Samb's. While not anything I'd call fancy, it's a nice quiet place with a varied menu and real good food. Near our table there was a party of five and unforutnately, The Civee and I heard more of their conversation than we wanted to. Two of the five were loud talkers, with most of their comments echoing a common theme. See if you can pick up on what it was, judging by these choice quotes:

No salad bar? You should see the salad stuff they have at the Golden Corral. The Golden Corral doesn't have this much seafood at their buffet. We don't have to wait this long for our food at the Golden Corral. (the wait really wasn't that long.) You get a bigger piece of meat at the Golden Corral. (I had no problem with the portion size.)

There were a few other references along these lines. But I'm guessing the loud talkers don't really eat at non-buffet establishments all that often. I"m just glad the food was good and I have a sense of humor. Otherwise, something like that could have ruined my dinner.

The End is Near!

King Tom — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 03:02:15 +0000

So today while walking home, I was quite alarmed upon seeing the following:

My first reaction was thinking we were on the precipice of the armageddon. But after coming to my senses, I realized they're trying to move some digital TV boxes to the remaining 2 percent of the American populace who aren't ready for the transition. Back in 1994, Michael Moore's Michael Moore's TV Nation (back when he was entertaining) had an episode where he featured crackpot groups that believed the end days were near. One group predicted the world would end on September 15 (my birthday) of that year. I was quite relieved that morning to wake up in my bed, rather than a flaming inferno. Of course, later that morning, I read that Major League Baseball cancelled the World Series was cancelled, so maybe in a way, the crackpots were right. Anyway, it's a relief that CVS sign isn't advertising the apocalypse. I'm not ready for the end of the world yet.

Chili Davis 1, King Classic 0

King Tom — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 22:07:10 +0000

I haven't done one of these in a while, but I figured this would be a good one to share in light of tomorrow. August 21, 1996 Angels 7, Yankees 1 August of '96 was a hot, humid month in New Jersey. My summer vacation (which I worked through) was nearing an end, and by this point, my father (King Classic) , brother (t-shirt boy) and I watched every Yankees game, hoping that this year's run in first place would surpass the previous summer's wild card finish. Even though the team slumped in August, our hopes were high. We had been to a few games earlier that year (the last year before we got the Sunday ticket plan) and my father wanted to go to the last day game before I had to go back to school- a mid-Wednesday affair against the Angels (then from simply "California"). There was a back to school promotion going on, with all kids 14 and under getting a Yankees pencil case (containing pencils, a ruler, pencil sharpener and a few other things). Even though I was going into my second year of college and was much taller than your average 14-year-old, the gate attendants gave me a pencil case, which I had until a few years ago. Unfortunately, aside from a Derek Jeter home run in the bottom of the first, the Yankees' offense wasn't able to make it to the Stadium that day. Even though they managed 10 hits in six innings against Jason Dickson (making his first Major League start) and another three against relievers Mike Holtz and Troy Percival, they weren't able to bring anyone else home. Even though the game ended up being a Yankees loss, the highlight for the day wasn't in Derek Jeter's home run. Nor was it in the five runs the Angels tacked on in the top of the ninth. Instead, in that first inning, as the Angels scored their first two runs, something happened that changed us (well, more accurately, King Classic) in a deep and profound way from that day forward. Our tickets were in the left field stands. We were a few sections to the left of the fair pole, with King Classic sitting in the aisle seat, me the third seat in and t-shirt boy in between us. In the first, with Jimmy Key pitching for the Yankees and Gary Disarcina on first, Chili Davis hit a long fly ball that was headed our way. It cleared the outfield wall by about 20 feet and the rest of the stadium booed as he and Disarcina rounded the bases to score the Angels' first two runs of the game. The ball was still headed our way, and mostly everyone in the section was on their feet, trying to be in position to catch the ball. No one caught it. The ball hit the concrete, proceeds to ricochet off the concrete and hits the one person not standing up for the home run ball in the arm. My father. After being hit by the home run ball, King Classic uttered something along the lines as "what was that?" while t-shirt boy and I laughed at him. Someone else got the ball, but t-shirt boy and I walked away with something that will keep us laughing. Happy father's day, King Classic.

It Was a Beautiful Fish

King Tom — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:24:20 +0000

Many years ago, my family and I went to Easter dinner at a somewhat-fancy restaurant. While telling us the specials, in a non-specific European accent, the waiter remarked that the fish special, a red snapper was "a beautiful fish." My brother and I laughed at his comment and after placing our orders, spent some time imitating his declaration that the snapper was a "beeeeautiful feeesh." Partially because of his sales job, I ordered the snapper, and when it arrived at our table, I could see exactly why the fish deserved that description. The fish was really good, and thanks to his description, it was one of the first times I ever thought of food as more than just something to eat. Earlier this week, when grocery shopping, The Civee and I decided to get some red snapper, a fish that I have very little experience preparing, but one that I was eager to get on the grill. While looking for recipies, nothing stood out--either we didn't have all the ingredients, or involved more than grilling the fish. However, we were also having corn, and I remembered was one recipe that called for grilling the fish inside some corn husks. So I jotted down the procedure for using the husks and developed my own recipe using ingredients we had on hand at home. There was one major deviation from the in-husk procedure that would probably be frowned upon by any serious culinary types. We didn't have any rope with which to tie the husks, so I used the next best thing: a Swingline. I stapled together the husks (with enough room away from the fish), and it actually worked pretty well. And while I'm kicking myself for not taking a picture or two, the fish came out, as the waiter would say, "beautiful." And just as important, it tasted good too.

For the salsa:

Juice of two limes

1 shallot, chopped

2 roasted red peppers (jarred is okay), cubed

-1/4 cup honey

1 bunch parsley, chopped

Combine ingredients, mix and refrigerate. For the fish:

Red snapper filets

2 tablespoons chili powder

1 tablespoon pepper

1/2 tablespoon salt

1 shallot, finely sliced

Husks from ears of corn (1 ear per piece of fish)

Soak husks in cold water for at least 30 minutes. Brush fish with oil (olive, canola, whatever you like). Mix chili powder, pepper and salt and sprinkle over fish. place sliced shallots on top of the fish. Strain the husks. Try to lay flat and place each piece of fish inside one (should be able to fit). place another corn husk on top. Tie (or staple) closed so each husk packet will hold the fish. Grill over high heat, skin side down for 6 minutes. Turn over and grill for another two. Remove fish from husks (being careful of staples if you used this method), serve topped with the salsa.

Pop and Rock

King Tom — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:38:47 +0000

Three non-Lost related blog updates in one week. There must be something in the air. Well, actually, I'm writing because of two music-related items. The first- Michael Jackson's died today. For some reason, this makes me feel old. I still have somewhere in my basement the copy of Thriller I received for Christmas all those years ago. For as weird a guy as he turned out to be, he was extremely talented, and he helped make the 80s the greatest decade for pure pop music. The second (and also music related)- according to Rolling Stone, yesterday was the 15th anniversary of the release of Weezer's first single, Undone (the Sweater Song). I didn't hear it until a few months later, but ever since then, let me just say that things haven't been the same. And to celebrate this anniversary, I give you the reason Agamemnon went to Troy:

The Luckiest Man

King Tom — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 22:52:14 +0000

Seventy years ago today, the most famous speech in sports history was delivered. Lou Gehrig, who had just retired from professional baseball, was being honored during a ceremony between games of a doubleheader at Yankee Stadium. Lou was prompted to speak, and without any notes or preparation, delivered something very memorable:

"Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans. "Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day? Sure, I’m lucky. Who wouldn’t consider it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert? Also, the builder of baseball’s greatest empire, Ed Barrow? To have spent six years with that wonderful little fellow, Miller Huggins? Then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy? Sure, I'm lucky. "When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift — that’s something. When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies — that’s something. When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter — that's something. When you have a father and a mother who work all their lives so that you can have an education and build your body — it's a blessing. When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed — that's the finest I know. "So I close in saying that I might have been given a bad break, but I've got an awful lot to live for. Thank you."

A few years ago, I read Luckiest Man, Jonathan Eig's biography of Gehrig. It was an amazing book about a man who was overshadowed by his teammate Babe Ruth, but who remains one of the most underappreciated superstars of all time. In other Yankees-related events, it's also George Steinbrenner's birthday.

Happy birthday George.

Pierre Chang: Man of Mystery

King Tom — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:13:37 +0000

In an effort to post more (not to mention milk everything I can out of the Lost franchise before it ends next May), I'm starting a new feature (with a title inspired by Hurley) called I Want Some Freakin' Answers. From time to time, I'll talk about some of the things we've seen over the past five seasons of Lost that I'd like answered. I'm not going to deal with topics we know will get answered (like the smoke monster), but rather those things that no one but die-hard Lost fans would care about. It's very likely that not everything will be answered, and even possible that some may be passed off as continuity errors, but Lost wouldn't have obsessive fans if people didn't care about the little things, right?

The big mystery around the end of Lost's first season was what was in the hatch. We later found it was a station built to study the unique electromagnetic properties of the island by a group calling themselves the DHARMA Initiative. Aside from the weird swan-specific symbols scattered around the station and on it's boxes of food products, our (not to mention the Lostaway's) first introduction to the Initiative came through the Swan Station orientation film, way back in Season Two's aptly titled third episode "Orientation." Hosted by a man calling himself Doctor Marvin Candle, who only has the use of one arm, the film gives us some background about the Initiative, as well as details as to the function of the Swan. After that, the Lostaways find different DHARMA stations, some of which have their own orientation films/videos, and while they're hosted by the same person, he doesn't always go by the name "Marvin Candle" and in some cases, has two functioning arms. In "?," Locke and Mr. Eko find the Pearl Station, where they find an old school video cassette tape of an orientation video. Copy-written 1980, the gentleman hosting the Pearl video goes by the name Mark Wickmund and can use both arms. In Season three, we see clips in the computer video for the Flame and the "Welcome to the Island" flick, but don't catch the presenter's name. We don't see any more DHARMA films presentations until the end of Season Four, when Ben has Locke view the Orchid's video. Again hosted by the same gentleman, but this time under the name Edgar Halliwax. "Edgar" even has a custom Orchid-station Parka which Ben appropriates for his trip to spin the wheel. Finally, in Season Five, we actually meet the man in a setting outside of the orientation films. Everyone in the Initiative knows him as Dr. Pierre Chang, and he can use both his hands. Throughout the season, we find out Pierre is a bigwig with the DI, is a scientist and acts periodically in DHARMA films. He has a son named Miles, and much to [future] Miles' consternation, he likes country music. We also see Pierre shooting the film for the Arrow Station, where he again calls himself Marvin Candle. In Season Five's finale episode, The Incident, Pierre loses his left hand in an accident while trying to shut the drill at the Swan site down. So we know this about the man of mystery: His name is Pierre and he lost his left arm in a construction accident in 1977. He shot the films for the Pearl, the Orchid, the Arrow and "Welcome to the Island" before 1977 (when he lost both his hands). However, the years for the Pearl and Orchid videos are after 1977, so either the DI fudged the copyright dates, or that's a continuity error on the part of the Lost creative team. The thing about Pierre that I'd like some freakin' answers to is what's with all the different names? Through the video for the Pearl, we learn that DHARMA is involved in studying psychology- though the answer to who's the subject of the mind games - the observers or the observed, is up in the air. And these fake names all being somewhat related (Candle, Halliwax, Wickmund) make it seem as if the whole situation is more than a continuity error. The DHARMA members who are the audience of these films/videos are being lied to for some reason. As seen in the episode Namaste, a large number of the DHARMA people know Pierre Chang (and one of my favorite moments of the episode is when Jack meets the man he knew as Marvin Candle, 27 years from that moment). So who's he fooling? My guess? There's still more of DHARMA's story to tell. After the incident, the Initiative implemented some heightened security protocols--changing how people dealt/communicated with each other, in some cases, even cutting off communication between stations. So giving people in each of its stations a unique frame of reference would serve to that advantage. And with what little we've seen of the functions of the Pearl Station (they were being watched too, the notebooks that were the "fruit of their diligent work" went nowhere), the Initiative wasn't above lying to its employees/test subjects. One of the few things we know about the DI in the time period between the Incident and Desmond's arrival is that Stu Radzinsky worked in the Swan. And why not? He had some science background, was a high-ranking member and even had a hand in designing the Swan. But as Kelvin told Desmond, he also killed himself in that very station. Here's what I think: Because of the incident, operators at the Swan (and other DI stations) were locked down- the Quarantine hoax was put in effect to keep workers confined to their stations. Stu (who may have been punished for the incident with his tour of duty in the Swan) knew the truth. To keep himself sane, and to pass along his knowledge of the DI, he started the blast door map before finally losing it (or his conscience got to him) and ending up as a spot on the ceiling. As this extrapolation of Stu's saga shows, there's more of the DI's story to tell. As part of that story, I'd like some freakin' answers as to why Dr. Pierre Chang's IMDB credits can include the roles of Dr. Marvin Candle, Edgar Halliwax and Mark Wickmund.

Weird Al: Skipper Dan and Beans

King Tom — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:28:42 +0000

I've previously shared my opinion that "Weird Al" Yankovic is one of the greatest musical genuises of our time. Al is known mostly for his song parodies, but he also has a large number of original songs, most of which are style parodies/homages. Some of these, like Twister, Frank's 2,000" TV and Dare to Be Stupid (not to mention One More Minute, which isn't an homage to any one artist) stand right up there with some of Al's best parodies. Well, Al has released his newest song, Skipper Dan, and if you ask me, it's a style parody of a song that was huge last summer (and of which you could say I was a fan). I think he's got this one down- even to leaving out the guitar solo. Skipper Dan He didn't even throw in a drum solo!

What About Waaaalt?

King Tom — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 02:56:31 +0000

This is the second entry in a series titled "IWant Some Freakin’ Answers." From time to time, I’ll talk about some of the things we’ve seen over the past five seasons of Lost that I’d like answered. I’m not going to deal with topics we know will get answered (like the smoke monster), but rather those things that no one but die-hard Lost fans would care about. It’s very likely that not everything will be answered, and even possible that some may be passed off as continuity errors, but Lost wouldn’t have obsessive fans if people didn’t care about the little things, right? Out of all the Lost cast members, life outside the show has been most unkind to Malcolm David Kelley, who played Walt Lloyd (a.k.a. WAAAALT! or "My boy"). Originally playing a ten year old boy, Kelley started his growth spurt in the years following Season 1, as he was removed from the show's main cast (in a surprisingly benign way) while making cameo appearances throughout the following season. During Season 1, we got the impression that Walt was not quite normal. Called "special" by several people, Walt was kidnapped by the Others after flashing some knife throwing and bird attracting skills. In addition, Walt also hinted at having the abilities of precognition and astral projection--all leading up to the question behind this week's I Want Some Freakin' Answers -- what is (or was) up with Walt? Originally portrayed as Michael's rebellious kid (or alternatively, the kid Michael was stuck with raising) after crashing on the island, Walt quickly became friends with Locke and Hurley. Locke and Boone taught Walt how to throw a mean knife, and Hurley taught Walt all about gambling (although, Hurley lost a lot of money to Walt, so maybe Hugo was really teaching him how not to play backgammon). "Special," a flashback episode devoted to Walt and Michael established that Walt was raised by his mother and an unwilling stepfather who was spooked by some weird things that happened whenever Walt was around. More weirdness happened later in the first season, during a discussion between Walt and Locke. Locke reached out to touch Walt, who got implored Locke "Don't open it, Mr. Locke. Don't open that thing." Spooked by his encounter with Locke and a chilling vision of things to come, Walt willingly left the island with his father on the raft, only to be kidnapped by the Others. Even though he was in the care of the Others, Walt appeared to Shannon twice, speaking backwards (much like another little man from another place), warning of doom shortly before Shannon's death. Walt (or more likely, the Others) communicated to Michael through the Swan's computer, who was slowly losing his sanity. The trick worked, sending Michael off the deep end and giving the Others their bargaining chip in Ben's plan to get Jack to do the spinal surgery which would save Ben's life. In a Missing Piece produced between the third and fourth seasons, we learned that the Others were just as scared of Walt's powers as his step father was. We didn't learn anything of the powers or what benefit they would serve to the Island, but we learned that he was one scary kid. After being captured by the Others, Michael is asked several questions about Walt, including "has Walt ever been somewhere he wasn't meant to be?" Partially because he was an absent father for most of Walt's life, Michael is unable to answer these questions, but is able to bargain for his and Walt's freedom, as well as a safe way off the island. In a brief meeting, Walt tells Michael the others aren't who they seem to be and that he spends his time taking tests. Finally, Michael turns in Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Hurley (in addition to killing Ana Lucia and Libby) and at the end of Season Two, sets off for civilization. Here, Walt and Michael's paths diverge. Michael agrees to help the Others by posing as a spy on Widmore's ship. On the other hand, Walt goes back to school (but not before appearing to a near-death Locke on the island and urging him to finish up his work), and meets Jeremy Bentham/John Locke and travels to visit Hurley.

It would be nice in the final season to find out what was going on with Walt. Why did the Others want him? How did they know that he was special? Did he have other gifts than killing birds and appearing in places he wasn't supposed to be? What did the Others get out of him? And why was he so fearful about the hatch. There are a lot of loose ends in regard to Walt. And because he's appeared on the show sparingly since the end of Season One, I don't have many guesses as to how and if he fits in in the overall scheme of things. If they were to bring him back, at least Walt would reach Malcolm David Kelley's real-life age, so if they were to bring him back, now would be an appropriate time. And hopefully, we'd find out whether Walt got that $83,000 Hurley owed him.

When I Was There: The New Place

King Tom — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:46:29 +0000

July 24, 2009 Yankees 8, Oakland 3

This past weekend, The Civee and I headed east to New Jersey to visit King Classic. It was a nice, relaxing trip (even if I ruined my phone by letting it get submerged during a rafting trip down the Delaware River). One of the big events (and I'll get to the other later) was a trip to the new Yankee Stadium on Friday night to see the Yankees host the A's. There were seven of us, and for all, it was our first trip to the Yankees' all-new, all-different stadium. I hadn't been to The Bronx since August 9 2002, when the Yankees hosted the A's at the old stadium. For that game, the Fat Triathlete and I had upper deck seats and stayed for every pitch of the 16-inning affair. For Friday's game, the first pitch was scheduled for 7, with the gates opening at 5. We figured if we left at 3, that would give us enough time to explore the new digs before game time. We were wrong. Between the GWB tollbooths and navigating the South Bronx looking for a parking spot, we were stuck in traffic for four hours. We barely made it in time to hear the National Anthem. We got to our seats, located in the "main" section of the bowl, the upper half of the first level of seats. The seats were great, and in a weird way, it felt like we were at the old stadium, with just a few minor differences. Two of those minor differences bugged me, my only complaints about the new place: 1. The announcer, Paul Olden, while I'm sure he's a nice guy, is no Bob Sheppard. 2. The location/look of Monument Park is horrible. The old monument park was vibrant, out in the open, and surrounded by plant life. The new park is in a gray little alcove beneath the center field batters' eye. It barely stood out from inside the stadium and looked a little depressing. If you ask me, this off-season, the Yankees should switch Monument Park with the visitor's bull pen and add some plants. Doing so would make the new park within a park stand out more. But anyway, enough of the complaints. The Civee and I watched Joba Chamberlain struggle through the first (his only rough spot of the game until the eighth, when he was relieved) before heading downstairs to the 'Great Hall' to get some food. If we had gotten to the Stadium earlier, we would have had enough time to adequately explore the place, but we only walked around a few sections because we didn't want to miss any of the game. The hall feature is nice and while I can see how some would complain about how it's more of a mall atmosphere than a ballpark, I think the Great Hall is appropriate because it's outside the field area (if that makes sense). You can watch all the action, but if you're in your seat, the hall doesn't detract from your experience. As an added bonus, you can see the field (or parts of it) through the hall, and there are enough monitors around the place showing the game with speakers blaring the game's radio feed. The Civee settled for some pizza, and I went for some hot dogs (the sausage stand was all out of sausage) and we headed back to our seats. I'm a huge fan of the new seats. I'm 6'4", and there were times in the old stadium where my knees would be bumping up against the seat in front of me all game. The seven of us in our group rotated seats (in the same section) throughout the game and I had no legroom or other comfort problems. After giving up a run in the first, Chamberlain settled down, pitching a pretty good game. The Yankees came back in the third, scoring two, and adding a few more runs in the fifth and sixth. By the eighth, Joba had only given up two hits and struck out six. He let two men get on, and was relieved. Phil Coke got out of the jam and the Yankees struck for four runs in the bottom of the eighth sparked by a Jorge Posada solo home run. By this time, the crowd was doing the wave and the Hip-Hip Jorge chant the Civee loves so much. The A's added two in the top of the ninth, but David Robertson recovered and finished off the game, and by this time, I was happy for two things: -That this game didn't go as long as the last game I attended. -The Yankees winning. We headed home while getting caught in another hour of traffic on our way. Everyone seemed to like the new place. For me, it was a great trip, and nice to see the Yankees finally get the stadium they deserve. My one other comment about the stadium- people have said it's not as loud as the old Stadium. Maybe it seems that way on TV, or in those April games when the Stadium was half-full. But on one Friday night in August, the New Yankee Stadium was just as loud as its predecessor.

Best.Restaurant.Ever! (The Return)

King Tom — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 03:40:54 +0000

If I'm ever on death row and it's time for me to choose my last meal, I can't say that I know what I want to eat. But I do know where I want that meal to come from and who I want to prepare it. In New Jersey, there's a Japanese restaurant called Tomo's Cuisine, chef-ed by a food magician named Tomo. Back when I was in college, Tomo's was located in South Orange and the Fat Triathlete and I frequented (and that's putting it mildly) Tomo's. These days, it's a tad more difficult, what with me living in Ohio and all. Tomo's has relocated to Little Falls, and on our trip to New Jersey this past weekend, the Civee, King Classic and myself (sorry, FT) stopped there for dinner on Sunday night. The location may be different, but Tomo's hasn't changed a bit. The place has six tables. The other five tables were filled with people I assumed to be Tomo's Sunday night regulars. Because it's just Tomo and his server Fin, Tomo gets quite busy multitasking. Because of this, Tomo has always had a set of rules in place, an older version of which appear below. The rules are very important, and even though I knew these going in, I was pleasantly surprised to have rule #10 broken for me, as both Tomo and Fin remembered me even though I haven't been there in eight years. Anyway, about the food, it was spectacular. Most people think of Japanese food as sushi. Tomo can do sushi. Tomo excels at sushi. But he does so much more than sushi. In addition to a boatload of sushi, we also had a few appetizers, including a black seaweed salad, an asparagus/corn tempura, broiled conch in a soy/butter sauce and braised (for six hours) ox tail with potatoes and carrots. As for the sushi, we got an assortment of rolls and nigiri. Ordered a special surf clam (one of my favorites that I haven't had anywhere else (or, rather, haven't had as good anywhere else)), some salmon belly and two types of toro. Altogether, if I ever get to pick a last meal, I'd want it to be something like that. It was great to go back (even if I had never been to the new place before). On our way out, I thanked Tomo. I could have thanked him a lot more, but remembering the rule about Tomo being very busy, I wanted to keep it short.

The unfortunate part about leaving was realizing that I wouldn't have another meal like this until the next time the Civee and I were in New Jersey. Now that I think about it, all I have to do is take 71 North, head east on Interstate 80, and it's a straight shot to Little Falls. Sure, it's an eight-hour straight shot, but it's worth it. If you're ever in the area: Tomo’s Cuisine 113 Rt. 23 in Little Falls. (Near the Willowbrook Mall.) 973-837-1117

Overkill

King Tom — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 17:25:58 +0000

Before the introduction of the Extra Innings package on cable, the only way a Yankees fan in Columbus Ohio could watch his (or her, in case there are others besides me) team was if a game was carried by Fox or ESPN as a national game. There were a few drawbacks to having the Yankees being a national game, such as having to put up with the networks' insufferable announce teams (both sides are guilty of this), "balanced" coverage, and awkward start times. But for the past few years, as I've mentioned before, I ~~pay to let MLB kick my ass~~ subscribe to the extra innings get to watch pretty much every Yankees game (unless they're playing Pittsburgh). I also get to see them when they're on Fox or ESPN, but there have still been some negatives-see the aforementioned drawbacks, and add the fact that Fox will often pre-empt a Yankees game with a game featuring the Indians or Reds. Other than that, you would think that having your team as one of two featured during the weekly nationally broadcast game would be a good thing. But there's one instance when it's not- when they face Boston. For some reason, it seems that every weekend series featuring the Yankees and the Red Sox includes a Saturday game on Fox followed by a Sunday night game on ESPN. And it always feels like these games are out-and-out slugfests (unlike last night's awesome pitchers' duel), are punctuated by shameless network self promotions, and last for six hours (but feel like 12 hours because of the horrible announcers both networks employ). If it were once or twice a year, it wouldn't be so bad. But it feels like this happens every time these two teams play. Every year. And it's just gotten worse. Oh, how I pine for those random games where they play the Royals or Baltimore that the networks don't care about.

Rivers Cuomo Is So Hardcore...

King Tom — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 01:28:22 +0000

...he can watch Titanic without getting sad. Weezer - (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To Come to think of it, I don't think I got sad either. More like kinda bored. Anyway, thanks a certain evil retail conglomerate that shall go unnamed, we have Weezer's new single nine days before its release date. It's upbeat, it's poppy, it's Weezer.

Who Will Have The Titular Line On Weezer's Raditude?

King Tom — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:36:38 +0000

Back in aught-five, when I heard the title of Weezer's fifth album was to be "Make Believe," I wasn't quite sure what to think. Sure, it grew on me, but there was some initial uncertainty. Today, after learning the title of Weezer's seventh album (coming October 27) will be "Raditude," I feel a similar uncertainty. At first, I read the title as "Ratitude," which would have been even worse, considering the last decent album about rats was Michael Jackson's "Ben." But then I fully woke up and read the title correctly. Still, I suppose it could have been worse ("Brownerton," "Maladroit II: Maladroit Harder"). And knowing me, it will grow on me. The title could make sense given Rivers Cuomo's ongoing transformation into Good Ol' Fun Time Rivers. Either way, I'm looking forward to hearing who has the titular line. UPDATE: According to Rivers' Twitter (twitter.com/RiversCuomo), we have Rainn Wilson to thank for the title. I'm not going to any of this summer's Blink/weez shows, but if Weezer ends up playing the Schrute Farms Beetfest, I am so there.

Who Is Number Two Working For?

King Tom — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 15:43:38 +0000

Some of the inhabitants of Lost Island see dead people.

These dead people are more than just mere visions of the departed--they have actual interactions with the main characters. Some are apparitions of the Smoke Monster, passing judgment. Others we're not sure about yet. But one has appeared to a variety of people in different times and ways--Christian Shepard, father of Jack.

Christian and Jack Shepard, father and son, are in many ways responsible for the state of each other's life. It's hinted that Christian wasn't the best father throughout Jack's childhood. During Jack's adulthood, it's much of the same, as Jack has to break free of his father's shadow after choosing to follow in his father's footsteps as a spinal surgeon. Eventually, Jack's career overshadows Christian's, and he breaks free of his father's influence.

Christian, on the other hand, is a recovering alcoholic, who tries to advise his son, but doesn't always do so in a fatherly way. Eventually, Christian is driven back to drinking by Jack, after Jack suspects his father of having an affair with his wife. Christian hits the bottle again, leading to a failed operation on a pregnant woman. When the patient dies, Jack (rightly) rats out Christian, who loses his medical license and decides to take a drinking tour of Australia (while trying to visit his secret daughter). In Australia, accompanied by Ana-Lucia, Christian bumps into Sawyer and eventually dies of alcohol poisoning.

Jack travels to Australia to claim the body back home, but books a flight on Oceanic 815 and they both end up on the island. Still, Jack retains bitterness and a need to fix everything-behaviors detrimental to his well-being.

Just as Christian shaped Jack during his formative years, Jack's actions (accusing his father of having an affair with his wife, turning him into the hospital board) are the reason Christian goes to Australia.

In the early days of their time on the island, Jack saw Christian a few times while the 815 survivors were still getting acquainted with the island. At first, Christian only appeared to Jack, until Season 4, when Hurley and Michael both saw him, Hurley seeing him in Jacob's cabin and Michael having a weird encounter seconds before the freighter blows up. Also meeting Christian (or the ghost of) in season 4 was Locke, who met him in Jacob's cabin.

While trying to find a way to save the island from Keamy and the rest of Widmore's goons, Locke, Ben and Hurley search for Jacob's cabin, looking for answers. Because of his cancer and Alex's death, Ben felt he fell out of favor with Jacob and let Locke be the one to speak with Jacob. However, Jacob wasn't in the cabin, and Christian (who was there with Claire) claimed he was authorized to speak on Jacob's behalf. Christian told Locke to move the island, an act that Ben was familiar with.

Because exile from the island was the result of moving the island (done by turning the wheel at the bottom of the Orchid), Ben claimed he had to do the deed, as that exile was his punishment from Jacob. Ben turned the wheel, but because he either turned it incorrectly, or wasn't supposed to have turned it in the first place, bad things happened. Locke ended up back at the Orchid, this time with a broken leg, where Christian appeared again, berating him for letting Ben turn the wheel, confirming the fact that Locke has to die to save his friends and being of little help as Locke has to push (although I still say pull) the wheel, gimpy leg and all.

Christian also appears to Sun and Frank during their 2007 return to the island, telling them they have a long journey to find their friends (who ended up in 1977) and to just wait for the path to appear.

At first glance, it looks like Christian is doing the work of Jacob. But there are several other factors which make me think that he's actually working for Jacob's adversary (or is the adversary in disguise).

First off, Ben confirmed in "The Incident" that he never met Jacob. Still, Ben took Locke to a cabin, that, according to Illana during her visit, had been empty for some time. The people/spirits Locke communicated with while in the cabin may not have been Jacob, but rather, Jacob's enemy.

Additionally, Jacob's adversary has a game plan of using Locke (and his body) to manipulate Ben into killing Jacob. Locke has to die for the adversary to use his body, an idea that the adversary (as Locke) implants in Locke through Richard Alpert during one of the island's time shifts. However, when Locke tells Christian (still claiming to speak for Jacob) that he was told he'd have to die to save his friends, rather than telling Locke that's not true, Christian coldly replies "Well, I suppose that's why they call it sacrifice."

Locke is crucial in the adversary's plan. But it's possible he's also important in Jacob's. There are many reasons Locke can be seen as special, from regaining his ability to walk to being touched by Jacob after his accident, an argument can be made that Jacob and/or the Island needs Locke. If that were the case, and Christian worked for Jacob, why would he send Locke to his death without batting an eye?

Even though I think Christian is "working for" the adversary, there is some evidence leading me to doubt this. Christian can be seen as a positive force working on behalf of the island. First, in his appearances to Jack, he leads his son to water, necessary for the survival of the marooned 815 passengers. Secondly, when he appears to Michael (even though Michael doesn't know who Christian is), Christian confirms Michael is doing the Island's work. Lastly, in the final Missing Piece aired prior to season four, Christian appears to Vincent minutes after the 815 crash, concerned about his son's well-being and urges Vincent to wake Jack up, saying Jack has work to do.

Plus, judging from the artwork in the cabin (as long as it's Jacob's cabin), we can see that Jacob is fond of dogs.

Either way, even though Christian Shepard is dead, he's important to both the Island and several of its inhabitants. I'm not the only one confused by his appearances. Izikavazo over at Not Confused Just Lost also ponders the question, but believes Christian is on the side of evil. Me? I'm not sure.

As we know, people who die on (or off) the Island don't really disappear. Hopefully, in the show's upcoming final season, we'll see more of Christian and get some freakin' answers as to whom he's working for.

This is the third entry in a series titled “I Want Some Freakin’ Answers.” From time to time, I’ll talk about some of the things we’ve seen over the past five seasons of Lost that I’d like answered. I’m not going to deal with topics we know will get answered (like the smoke monster), but rather those things that no one but die-hard Lost fans would care about. It’s very likely that not everything will be answered, and even possible that some may be passed off as continuity errors, but Lost wouldn’t have obsessive fans if people didn’t care about the little things, right? Some of the inhabitants of Lost Island see dead people. These dead people are more than just mere visions of the departed--they have actual interactions with the main characters. Some are apparitions of the Smoke Monster, passing judgment. Others we're not sure about yet. But one has appeared to a variety of people in different times and ways--Christian Shepard, father of Jack.

As first seen as a hallucination to a water-deprived Jack Shepard. Christian has appeared to other island inhabitants, and in the case of John Locke, has given instructions, claiming to speak for the mysterious Jacob. But Christian's advice led Locke to play right into the game plan devised by Jacob's adversary, leading to the question "who is Christian (Jacob's self-proclaimed number two) really working for? Christian and Jack Shepard, father and son, are in many ways responsible for the state of each other's life. It's hinted that Christian wasn't the best father throughout Jack's childhood. During Jack's adulthood, it's much of the same, as Jack has to break free of his father's shadow after choosing to follow in his father's footsteps as a spinal surgeon. Eventually, Jack's career overshadows Christian's, and he breaks free of his father's influence. Christian, on the other hand, is a recovering alcoholic, who tries to advise his son, but doesn't always do so in a fatherly way. Eventually, Christian is driven back to drinking by Jack, after Jack suspects his father of having an affair with his wife. Christian hits the bottle again, leading to a failed operation on a pregnant woman. When the patient dies, Jack (rightly) rats out Christian, who loses his medical license and decides to take a drinking tour of Australia (while trying to visit his secret daughter). In Australia, accompanied by Ana-Lucia, Christian bumps into Sawyer and eventually dies of alcohol poisoning. Jack travels to Australia to claim the body back home, but books a flight on Oceanic 815 and they both end up on the island. Still, Jack retains bitterness and a need to fix everything-behaviors detrimental to his well-being. Just as Christian shaped Jack during his formative years, Jack's actions (accusing his father of having an affair with his wife, turning him into the hospital board) are the reason Christian goes to Australia. In the early days of their time on the island, Jack saw Christian a few times while the 815 survivors were still getting acquainted with the island. As previously mentioned, Christian helped lead Jack to finding water in the caves. But Jack found more than water--he also found his father's coffin, which was empty. At first, Christian only appeared to Jack, until Season 4, when Hurley and Michael both saw him, Hurley seeing him in Jacob's cabin and Michael having a weird encounter seconds before the freighter blows up. Also meeting Christian (or the ghost of) in season 4 was Locke, who met him in Jacob's cabin. While trying to find a way to save the island from Keamy and the rest of Widmore's goons, Locke, Ben and Hurley search for Jacob's cabin, looking for answers. Because of his cancer and Alex's death, Ben felt he fell out of favor with Jacob and let Locke be the one to speak with Jacob. However, Jacob wasn't in the cabin, and Christian (who was there with Claire) claimed he was authorized to speak on Jacob's behalf. Christian told Locke to move the island, an act that Ben was familiar with. Because exile from the island was the result of moving the island (done by turning the wheel at the bottom of the Orchid), Ben claimed he had to do the deed, as that exile was his punishment from Jacob. Ben turned the wheel, but because he either turned it incorrectly, or wasn't supposed to have turned it in the first place, bad things happened. Locke ended up back at the Orchid, this time with a broken leg, where Christian appeared again, berating him for letting Ben turn the wheel, confirming the fact that Locke has to die to save his friends and being of little help as Locke has to push (although I still say pull) the wheel, gimpy leg and all. Christian also appears to Sun and Frank during their 2007 return to the island, telling them they have a long journey to find their friends (who ended up in 1977) and to just wait for the path to appear. At first glance, it looks like Christian is doing the work of Jacob. But there are several other factors which make me think that he's actually working for Jacob's adversary (or is the adversary in disguise). First off, Ben confirmed in "The Incident" that he never met Jacob. Still, Ben took Locke to a cabin, that, according to Illana during her visit, had been empty for some time. The people/spirits Locke communicated with while in the cabin may not have been Jacob, but rather, Jacob's enemy. Additionally, Jacob's adversary has a game plan of using Locke (and his body) to manipulate Ben into killing Jacob. Locke has to die for the adversary to use his body, an idea that the adversary (as Locke) implants in Locke through Richard Alpert during one of the island's time shifts. However, when Locke tells Christian (still claiming to speak for Jacob) that he was told he'd have to die to save his friends, rather than telling Locke that's not true, Christian coldly replies "Well, I suppose that's why they call it sacrifice." Locke is crucial in the adversary's plan. But it's possible he's also important in Jacob's. There are many reasons Locke can be seen as special, from regaining his ability to walk to being touched by Jacob after his accident, an argument can be made that Jacob and/or the Island needs Locke. If that were the case, and Christian worked for Jacob, why would he send Locke to his death without batting an eye? Even though I think Christian is "working for" the adversary, there is some evidence leading me to doubt this. Christian can be seen as a positive force working on behalf of the island. First, in his appearances to Jack, he leads his son to water, necessary for the survival of the marooned 815 passengers. Secondly, when he appears to Michael (even though Michael doesn't know who Christian is), Christian confirms Michael is doing the Island's work. Lastly, in the final Missing Piece aired prior to season four, Christian appears to Vincent minutes after the 815 crash, concerned about his son's well-being and urges Vincent to wake Jack up, saying Jack has work to do. Plus, judging from the artwork in the cabin (as long as it's Jacob's cabin), we can see that Jacob is fond of dogs. Either way, even though Christian Shepard is dead, he's important to both the Island and several of its inhabitants. I'm not the only one confused by his appearances. Izikavazo over at Not Confused Just Lost also ponders the question, but believes Christian is on the side of evil. Me? I'm not sure. As we know, people who die on (or off) the Island don't really disappear. Hopefully, in the show's upcoming final season, we'll see more of Christian and get some freakin' answers as to whom he's working for.

Weird Al Don't Care About That

King Tom — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 03:56:59 +0000

Back in '96 there was some confusion amongst fans of "Weird Al" Yankovic and Weezer (overlapping fan groups for me) as to why Weird Al would thank Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo in the liner notes of his newest album Bad Hair Day when there wasn't anything resembling a Weezer song on the album. Turns out Al had wanted to include a sample of Buddy Holly in BHD's Alternative Polka, but due to a misunderstanding, didn't get word that he didn't have permission to do so until after the notes had been printed. In the recent years, things seemed to have been smoothed out between Weird Al and Weezer, as Weezer let Al use a sample of Buddy Holly for Poodle Hat's Angry White Boy Polka and one of Al's latest singles, Skipper Dan, sounds similar to Weezer's Pork and Beans. Well, last night, after 13 years of being buried in the vaults, Weird Al released through his Twitter the 20-or-so second clip of Buddy Holly removed from Alternative Polka, which you can listen to here. True, it's only 20 seconds and sounds exactly how you think it would sound, but it's nice to know things are good between Weird Al and The Weezers.

Raditude And Beyond

King Tom — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 02:50:54 +0000

Even if Weezer fans aren't thrilled with the band's new songs 'The Girl Got Hot' and 'I'm Your Daddy,' bassist Scott Shriner gives us plenty to look forward to in a new interview with MOVE Magazine:

"There's parts of what we're doing these days that really, really get me happy and excited, and there's parts of it that I'm still a little bit on the fence about," Shriner says. "If people aren't into some of the stuff that's on this album, the next album will be completely different, and we're not going to stop making records any time soon. We're not going anywhere. To tell you the truth, I don't think we've ever been this focused on continuing to move forward than we are right now."

More of this interview is available here. Despite their titles, TGGH and IYD aren't horrible. And I do enjoy (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To. And I am looking forward to October 27. I think soon I should write a list about all the things I'm looking forward to. Some exciting things coming up. And not all Weezer related.

U2 = Evil Agents of Dr. Wily

King Tom — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 21:38:40 +0000

The other day, I was in the car with the Civee and U2's latest single I'll Go Crazy if I Don't Go Crazy Tonight started playing. At first, I didn't think it was u2. The opening riff/melody was familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. It wasn't familiar in the way that, say the "Boom-boom chop" that every rock act rips off for at least one of their songs. Rather, it was familiar in a way that only someone who grew up in the '80s playing way too much video games would know. The tune in question? the Elecman stage theme from 1987's Mega Man composed by Manami Matsumae and Yoshihiro Sakaguchi. Don't believe me? Listen for yourself. Here's U2: [audio:u2sample.mp3] I'll Go Crazy if I Don't Go Crazy Tonight (opening riff, sample) And here's the Elecman riff: [audio:elecmansample.mp3] Mega Man: Elecman Stage Don't get me wrong, I think U2 are a fine group of entertainers, with much more musical talent, than say, Rob Thomas. I enjoy that Lemon song of theirs a great deal. But I just want to see Manami Matsumae and Yoshihiro Sakaguchi get their due. If not, Mega Man will have to conquer Macphisto Man and steal his weirdness power.

Things I'm Looking Forward To

King Tom — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 22:38:30 +0000

I'm sure there are a few things I'm leaving out, but here are some things on the calendar: October 7/8: MLB playoffs begin October 27: Release of Raditude, Weezer's seventh Studio Album November 26: Thanksgiving December 25: Christmas February 2010: Final season of Lost begins February 14, 2010: Pitchers and catchers report/International Weezer Day March 28, 2010: Wrestlemania XXVI/MLB Opening Day (a.k.a. The Days of Greatness) April 7 (est.), 2010: The Civee and I are havin' a baby.

The Salesman From The Dark Side

King Tom — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 23:48:49 +0000

So tonight I was watching Star Wars (nevermind that I've seen it countless times already), Luke's flying down the trench, about to blow up the Death Star. Luke turns off his targeting computer, when all of a sudden, there's a knock on the door. So I pause the movie to answer the door, politely blowing off some guy selling something or other. I sit back down and try to watch the rest of the movie, but I can't. The interruption just ruined the momentum. If it had happened at any other moment, I would have been fine. But even with Luke just seconds from saving the rebellion, I just couldn't get into it. I never thought Star Wars could be ruined, but there you go. Perfect timing, Mr. door-to-door salesman. The dark side is strong with you.

Progress

King Tom — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:15:04 +0000

Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. -Ferris Bueller People often ask me why and how I ended up in Columbus. Having grown up in the New York/New Jersey metropolitan area, Columbus is a totally different place and experience than what I was used to. I ended up here because nine months after graduating college, it was the location of the first place (in my then-career of broadcasting) that offered me a job (and I've stayed for other reasons). I had interviewed at a few other television stations in the months following that walk down the aisle set to Randy 'Macho Man' Savage's theme song, but no luck. So I had an interview with a station here in Columbus almost ten years ago (give or take a few months) provided I could get here on my own. Not knowing the city, I booked a hotel room (in some online deal) and drove myself out here in my 1986 Buick Century Limited (which even then, was real old). The hotel was located off of the intersection of Morse Road and Interstate 71, which, upon my arrival, I found was not close at all to the location of my interview. The day before the interview, I pulled into Columbus, with plenty of time and energy to waste. The hotel clerk mentioned a nearby mall, so I headed a few miles down Morse to Northland Mall. It wasn't the most modern mall, nor the most lively, but it wasn't a horrible place to pass some time (however, had I known Easton was a few more miles down the road, I may have skipped Northland entirely). Did well in the interview, drove back home (at 2 in the morning), and a month later, got the job. Moved out to Ohio, packing the Limited full, and drove out with King Classic, who helped me look for an apartment. I found something on the other side of town, much closer to the station. Even now, I live on the same side of town, and while I'll go to the eastern side of town for some things, I really haven't spent much time in that Morse Rd./Northland area. I was aware that a few years ago, they tore Northland down, because after Easton (and Polaris), business just dried up. Earlier today, I had to attend a meeting at the Department of Taxation, based in a new building located on the spot of the former Northland Mall. It was weird going back to this place where even though I spent only a few hours, I had so many vivid memories. The nervousness, boldness, loneliness and hope I felt that night before the interview all came back to me. I don't want to say Northland was a special place (although to some, I'm sure it was), but the memories just hit me again. Here was this brand spanking new building taking up space on the lot on which, nine years and ten months ago, I had parked the Limited while looking for a way to waste a few hours. The only remnants of a mall was a lone anchor store, standing vacant without any identity, resigned to an unknown fate. The last time I was there, I was full of emotion, uncertain of the future. Today, I went back, just another day. In some ways, the past ten years have gone by quickly. It's striking that I've been here this long to notice changes like this. I think the me back then would have been happy to know that things ended up the way they did. But then again, I think I expected it.

The Search for Seal

King Tom — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:04:42 +0000

(This isn't about the singer Seal, but rather a quest much like that taken during Kramer's favorite Star Trek movie). One of the elements of my job is incorporating the State Seal of Ohio into various documents and publications. I'm familiar with its history and different forms. Just for you, to help move this story along, here's what the seal looks like:

Legend has it that the seal is the depiction of the sun rising over Mount Logan (in Southeastern Ohio) from outside the home of Thomas Worthington, one of the fathers of Ohio Statehood. The river, bushel of wheat and sheaf of arrows all have their own meaning as well. The Civee and I both took the day off today. We wanted to go hiking in a state park, but ended up exploring the City of Chillicothe and Adena, the nearby state historic site which is also the aforementioned home of Governor Worthington. I was looking forward to seeing the actual view that inspired the state seal. One of the guides at the museum told us it wasn't quite exact. He was right:

Granted, I didn't expect to get there early enough to see the sun rising between the mountains. And I didn't think there would be arrows or wheat laying around. But there's no river. And while it is an incredible view, it just doesn't feel like the seal.

This is more like it:

Breaking Up The Days of Greatness

King Tom — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:20:13 +0000

Since aught-five, the last weekend in March/first weekend in April has been a time of celebration here in the Kingdom. Dubbed by some as the Days of Greatness, one of those weekends for the past five years has seen WrestleMania that Sunday night with Major League Baseball's Opening Day the following day (sometimes both occasions end up on the same day, but I won't complain). Well, it looks like the proximity of the two events has gotten too big for the world to handle, as next year, the two are slated for separate weekends. WrestleMania 26 will be March 28, with Opening Day scheduled for the following week. Of course, this is based on MLB's preliminary schedule, so there's still chance that could change (and if it does, I'll never again call Bud Selig the sport's worst commissioner ever). While I'm disappointed that WrestleMania and Opening Day will not be held the same weekend, I have to admit that of all the years for this to happen, this isn't going to bug me that much. I have something else going on early next April.

Ben Linus Has a Plan [To Win An Award]

King Tom — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:44:24 +0000

I'd like to take a minute to congratulate Michael Emerson, who portrays Kingdom favorite Ben Linus, for winning an Emmy award for his work on Lost. Not that I make it a regular habit to watch award shows. In fact, I only caught wind of Emerson's win after seeing the news pop up in my reader. As they formally refer to it, Emerson won the award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series, which is quite a mouthful. Still, it's some much-deserved recognition for one of the people who does a great job of bringing one of the key players to life week in and week out. Say what you will about the other characters- Jack's a dope, Kate's annoying, Richard wears eyeliner, whatever. But there's never been a bad or even sub-par Ben storyline. (True- he had a bad haircut in the mid-80s, but that was redeemed by that swank hat he wore in Russia during that Sayid episode last season). Anyway, even though the new TV season is about to start, Lost will be a little late to the party, starting its final season sometime this winter. It's an understatement to say I'm looking forward to this. Hopefully, this will be the year Ben is proven to be one of the good guys. I think it's a testament to Emerson's acting chops that I feel that way about a character who's done everything short of mass murder (well, at least in the 100-plus people category). Congratulations again Michael, and thank you.

The Game's The Thing

King Tom — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 05:31:37 +0000

I've had a conversation similar to the following each of the past four Fridays:

Random Person: So you watchin' the game this weekend? Me: I'm going to watch all three of them (insert comments about the Yankees' opponents or how they fared over the past few days). RP: Yeah, it'll be a...wait...what?

In most instances, the random person who I've encountered in the elevator, or while out to lunch is talking about the local college football team. I'm not. And I don't care about football, much less the local team. As I've previously mentioned, some of these fans use the phrase "go bucks" to start, end and punctuate sentences. Even suggesting that their team doesn't factor into my weekend plans totally throws them off track, and in some cases, has been responded to with outright hostility. Not that I care. I just think it's fun to mess with them. Once baseball season is over though, I'm going to have to change my tactic. I have to admit, the football game does factor into my weekend plans slightly. Often, it's the best time to go out and do something, whether it be shop or eat, as a majority of the city is distracted. As long as I'm doing anything but watching their game, I'm happy.

Now That the Cat's Out of the Bag

King Tom — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:08:10 +0000

When you learn you're going to be a parent, you also find out a bunch of things that TV and the movies don't teach you about the whole having a baby thing.

Everyone knows it will change your life. But until you're in that situation, and you start learning and talking to people, you never realize how much it will change your life. Similarly, there are a whole slew of health issues that could throw a wrench into everything. Most of those health issues pop up before the end of the first trimester (12 weeks). Once you pass that 12-week mark, things remarkably improve.

Because of this, The Civee and I decided to wait to tell people when we first found out she was pregnant. We weren't ready to answer all of the life questions that people would have. Also, we wanted to have our first doctor's visit and make sure everything was in the right place before filling other people in. I wrote about it ninja-style earlier this month, and since then, we've slowly started to let others know.

Well, now we're out of the first trimester, and it's not a secret anymore (also, she's starting to show, so we wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret much longer), so we're starting to really feel like parents-to-be.

Yesterday, because there was a sale at Costco, we bought a box of diapers. Two hundred came in the box. Sadly, I was informed that the box wouldn't last us six months like I had thought.

And today, after Mass, another parishioner came up to us and congratulated us (after politely saying she didn't want to jump to any conclusions). It's really nice to have it out there. And even though we don't have all of the questions answered, I'm enjoying this father-to-be stuff.

Although it would be much tougher if I was going through everything The Civee is feeling. She's (and all mothers to be are) definitely a champ.

When you find out you're going to be a parent, you also learn a bunch of things that TV and the movies don't teach you about the whole having a baby thing. Everyone knows it will change your life. But until you're in that situation, and you start learning and talking to people, you never realize how much it will change your life. Similarly, there are a whole slew of health issues that could throw a wrench into everything. Most of those health issues pop up before the end of the first trimester (12 weeks). Once you pass that 12-week mark, things remarkably improve. Because of this, The Civee and I decided to wait to tell people when we first found out she was pregnant. We weren't ready to answer all of the life questions that people would have. Also, we wanted to have our first doctor's visit and make sure everything was in the right place before filling other people in. I wrote about it ninja-style earlier this month, and since then, we've slowly started to let others know. Well, now we're out of the first trimester, and it's not a secret anymore (also, she's starting to show, so we wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret much longer), we're starting to really feel like parents-to-be. Yesterday, because there was a sale at Costco, we bought a box of diapers. Two hundred came in the box. Sadly, I was informed that the box wouldn't last us six months like I had thought. And today, after Mass, another parishioner came up to us and congratulated us (after politely saying she didn't want to jump to any conclusions). It's really nice to have it out there. And even though we don't have all of the questions answered, I'm enjoying this father-to-be stuff. Although it would be much tougher to enjoy if I was going through everything The Civee is feeling. She's definitely a champ (as are all other expecting mothers).

Disclose. Or Else.

King Tom — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 01:50:38 +0000

Word-of-mouth is one of the most important promotional tools that any product can have. Generate a good buzz, and people will buy. But if people don't like what you're selling, it's very likely they'll tell others to stay away. Nowadays, people don't just talk to their friends about things they may be looking to buy. They also go online. I've let reviews on Amazon or random blogs influence my buying decisions, and I'm sure that'll continue in the future. A few years ago, I actually got an offer to review a product that I mentioned on the Kingdom. The PR rep for the item offered to send me a free sample to do a complete review. While I was flattered, I turned him down (more out of the fact that I don't cook turkey than any other reason). I'm sure others who run more reputable and/or popular blogs get similar offers every day and are often rolling in free products. In many cases, it's assumed that someone reviewing a product for a media outlet has received a free sample. In some other cases, reviewers mention they've received freebies from the manufacturer. But now, bloggers are being told that they have to disclose any freebies or else. Monday, the Federal Trade Commission announced new rules about disclosing items mentioned in blog reviews:

The revised Guides also add new examples to illustrate the long standing principle that “material connections” (sometimes payments or free products) between advertisers and endorsers – connections that consumers would not expect – must be disclosed. These examples address what constitutes an endorsement when the message is conveyed by bloggers or other “word-of-mouth” marketers. The revised Guides specify that while decisions will be reached on a case-by-case basis, the post of a blogger who receives cash or in-kind payment to review a product is considered an endorsement. Thus, bloggers who make an endorsement must disclose the material connections they share with the seller of the product or service.

True, it's a good practice to mention any links between a reviewer and a product, but not every case is that simple. Or, as Wired puts it more simply:

If a well-known dog blogger reviews dog food they bought, no disclosure is necessary. If they review free dog food acquired through a coupon spit out by the supermarket’s computer, no disclosure is necessary. But if the dog food company sends the blogger a free sample based on their review, both the company and the blogger are on the hook if any subsequent review doesn’t include that info.

It's an interesting idea, but as Wired mentions, it raises a lot of questions. Here's mine: how's the FTC going to enforce this? I'm guessing this is aimed at U.S.-only blogs. Okay, suppose I get a free copy of the next Weezer album (BTW-Geffen/Universal Music- I am planning on reviewing Raditude and it would be real helpful if you could send me an advance copy, okay?) and I give it a glowing review, but don't disclose that they've given me a copy...What are they going to do? Fine my ISP? Reply to a post with a stern comment telling me to knock it off? Send over a couple of government agents to unplug my connection? Disclosing freebies is probably something that bloggers should do. But I'm sure the FTC has better things to do than to make sure bloggers are doing so. And Geffen, I'm serious about that review.

Kingdom For Sale

King Tom — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 04:07:34 +0000

I guess I'm fooling someone, because this blog has been declared a success. Well, it was called a success by my friend and associate J-Dog, who claims that I'm more likely to get blog sponsors than he is. Outside of being offered a free product sample two years ago, I really don't see that happening. I could always sign up for Google AdSense and make some serious money like the Morning Toast (or at least one-fourth of it, because he has a whole network, and I have, well, you're reading it). But J-Dog's comment got me thinking...if I could get paid to plug a sponsor on the blog, would I do it? Because the Kingdom is mostly for your and my entertainment, I'd do it if it was something I could get behind. The obvious choices (and why they probably wouldn't work) would be:

The Yankees (because the world doesn't hear from enough obnoxious Yankees fans)
Lost (because the one remaining season needs more promotion)
Weezer (the label doesn't promote their albums anymore, why would they pay to sponsor a blog?)
Star Wars (see The Yankees)

I think it's highly unlikely I'd land any of those prime accounts. And I wouldn't want to shill for something I don't believe in (or something that's used to prepare a food I don't like to cook). So unless I were to sign up for AdSense, it doesn't look like the dollars will be rolling into the Kingdom. Speaking of advertising, the one little bit of marketing I do for the blog, sponsoring Hideki Irabu's baseball-reference.com page, continues to pull in tens of visitors each month. Best five bucks I ever spent!

Dear Columbus Drivers, Red Means Stop.

King Tom — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:51:18 +0000

The other day, The Civee and I were walking around, about to cross the street, when we were almost run over by a car driven by a woman who apparently didn't notice the red octagonal sign hovering over the intersection. She eventually stopped, with the front of her car out in traffic, so we passed behind her, quite miffed, while alerting her to the fact that she blew past a stop sign. Sure we were loud, but we felt because she had her windows and sunroof open that she heard us. Flashforward to yesterday evening...I was waiting for The Civee to get back home from her class when I get a panicked call from her: "I'm all right, I was in an accident, I'll call back later." Turns out, The Civee was going through an intersection on her way home, while some yahoo driving an SUV ignored the fact that he had a red light, ran through the light and straight into the side of our car (effectively T-Boning it). Our car swung around and got hit again on the front. The Civee bumped her head and was checked out by paramedics at the scene. Other than a headache, she's all right (and we think the baby is too). The car, on the other hand, is not. We went to the place where it was towed to pick up our things, and when we first got there, I didn't recognize the car. For some reason, they wouldn't let me take pictures, but I can say that it made the last time we were hit look like a scratch. As I said, luckily, The Civee is fine and our insurance should take care of the car. But still, two incidents within days where our lives are endangered by idiots failing to heed the most basic rule- that red means stop. I know I'm not a perfect driver. But I'm definitely going to be paying attention to those octagonal signs and red lights in the future.

King Tom Vs. Leftovers

King Tom — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:20:47 +0000

I like to eat. I like to cook. But I hate leftovers. In the past week, I've done a lot of cooking; flank steak, spaghetti and meatballs, trout and a chicken bouillabaise. And it was all very good. And with the exception of the trout, we've had leftovers of everything. So the past few nights have been leftover-filled (with the exception of Sunday, where we had spaghetti courtesy of the Civee's mother). On my way home tonight, I was dreading tonight's prospective dinner-leftover spaghetti. Not that it was bad-it was some damn fine spaghetti and meatballs. I just wasn't feeling it today. Luckily, in the mail we receoved a buy-one, get-one free coupon from our friendly neighborhood Chipolte (although it was puzzling, as the Grandview Chipolte does not need help drumming up business). I convinced the Civee to go with Chipolte for dinner and save the leftovers for another night. We weren't the only customers with that plan. Half the neighborhood showed up, coupons in hand. And even though the burrito hit the spot, now I'm wondering if it was the right move, as the spaghetti looms for a future dinner, hanging over our heads like the Sword of Damocles. I'm really hoping for something else to come up for tomorrow. If any of the finer restaurants in Grandview care to throw some coupons our way, it would be appreciated. I may even be able to throw in some leftover spaghetti and meatballs in exchange.

(If You're Wondering If) Things Are All Right In Weezerville

King Tom — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:35:59 +0000

Today Weezer released the video for their current single (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To. It's a fun little video. Very interesting visually (even if the Weezer kids are disturbing). But I'm trying to figure out the message to this one. Best I can come up with, as the kids say, would be "bros before hoes."

Great Win, Ugly Caps

King Tom — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:29:38 +0000

It's nearly November and the World Series hasn't even started yet. At least the ALCS is over, with the Yankees finally taking a postseason series from the Angels. It was a long series and I'm glad it's over. Watching the postgame coverage though, my thoughts aren't of the Phillies or the awesome performances of Sabathia and Rodriguez, but rather the ugly AL champion caps the Yankees had. So now it's on to the World Series. Here's hoping the Yankees can wrap things up by Thanksgiving.

Lazy Susan, The Dumbwaiter

King Tom — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:48:57 +0000

I recently had a life long dream come true: eating at the "Pope Table" at a Bucca di Beppo. If you've never heard of it, Bucca di Beppo is a chain of Italian restaurants famous for their family-size portions and over-the-top interior decorating. The Columbus location also features the Pope Table, a round table for 10-20 with a bust of a pope atop one of those round serving things, with the table set in an alcove off the main hallway.

It was an experience being at the Pope Table. Perhaps the part of the experience that I've gained the most from was correcting my long-held (but wrong) belief that the round serving turntable atop which the pope bust sat is not called a dumbwaiter, but rather, a Lazy Susan. For years, I believed the serving turntable was the dumbwaiter and the little food elevator was a Lazy Susan. Why? Well in my mind, the following made sense:

If the dumb waiter sets your dish down in front of someone else, they just put it on the turntable and spin it to get you your plate.
As for the Lazy Susan, it was named after a waitress in a joint where the kitchen and dining room were on seperate floors. Susan was too lazy to go up and down stairs all night.

Makes sense, doesn't it? Well, unfortunately, I was wrong all this time. But at least I got to eat at the Pope Table.

Weezer's Raditude: You Take the Good, You Take the Rad

King Tom — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:01:17 +0000

In the past I've avoided (and have even mocked) musicians and bands that do things like collaborate with other artists, such as rockers who have rappers perform on songs. For my favorite artists, collaboration (unless if were of the Shatner-Folds-Weezer-Bill Clinton variety) really isn't my musical bag. Another thing I'm not a fan of- bands whose lead singer doesn't take up an instrument. I don't know why, these things have just annoyed me. Well now it looks like I either have to accept these musical trends or find a new favorite band. On Weezer's newest album, Raditude (the Deluxe Edition), released today, the band collaborates heavily with other writers and artists, with one track even featuring (groan) a guest-rap from Lil' Wayne. To top it off, during recent live shows, Rivers Cuomo has given up his guitar for large parts of the band's sets. What's an old-fashioned Weezer/rock fan to think? If that fan were me, and he gave Raditude a chance, he'd find out that for the most part, the collaboration isn't a bad thing (although I hope in the future, they keep it to a minimum) and the album is a good, fun listen. Despite my misgivings about the collaboration , Raditude works. There are a few underwhelming songs, but Raditude succeeds in being what Weezer wants it to be - a power-pop rock album highlighting the band's versatility. There are ballads, straightforward rock singles and even a song that could be categorized as "world music." As evidenced by the title, Raditude is full of lighthearted, enjoyable rock. Pinkerton aside, Weezer was never a serious band (and even then, one could say they still had some goofiness under the surface) and the new album reinforces this. I feel some songs are up there with the band's best. The Prettiest Girl in the Whole Wide World, a song that's been around for 11 years and the demo of which was released on last year's Alone II, finally gets a full-band treatment. The spoken-word intro seems fitting after the wait the fans have had to endure for this song. Trippin' Down the Freeway is an up-tempo rocker with a clever lyrical progression in the chorus (although I have no idea what a Shirley Applebee look is). Put Me Back Together (written with the help of the All-American Rejects) carries the emotional vulnerability of the Pinkerton years and sounds like it could have been written during Cuomo's '98-'99 recluse phase. There are some other gems on the album, such as the lead single (If You're Wondering if I Want You To) I Want You To, Let It All Hang Out, Can't Stop Partying (the song with the aforementioned Lil' Wayne cameo) and The Underdogs. On the other hand, there are some tracks that just don't work, such as I'm Your Daddy (while this one is listenable, the title just feels wrong, and the fact that they recently recorded a version of this with Kenny G makes me want to run), Get Me Some (where the band shows their metal influences, and while it's good from that standpoint, it doesn't really fit) and In The Mall (which sounds more like a joke song written for one of Andy Samberg's SNL Digital Shorts). The one song that I don't know how to categorize is Love Is the Answer, a song originally recorded for 2005's Make Believe and earlier this summer, given to Sugar Ray for a straightforward rock treatment. Well, Rivers took the song back and taking a page out of the George Harrison playbook, incorporated a heavy Indian influence, with Hindi backing musicians. It's an interesting song, but I'm still trying to figure it out. I like these songs, and would like to hear the band incorporate most of them into their live repertoire, including Run Over By a Truck, which features mainly a piano and drums, sounds like something Ben Folds would have dreamed up. I like Raditude better than last year's Red Album, for reasons including the return of guitar solos, and the fact that there's one lead singer on the album, rather than four. The other positive about Raditude doesn't involve the album itself, but rather it's release and promotion. Once again, Weezer is releasing a number of bonus songs (some lists have this number being as high as 30), including alternate takes and full band demos spanning a number of years. Some of these offerings (I Hear Bells) have been solid, while others (the Red Album's Cold Dark World with Rivers on lead vocals) probably won't be listened to again unless WinAmp hits it on random. So while not everything on Raditude is among Weezer's best, there is some truly excellent material here. Add to that the amount of extra material coming out and you have enough to make any Weezer fan happy. Even if Rivers is giving up lead guitar duties and teaming up with other musicians.

Twenty-Seven!

King Tom — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:54:35 +0000

The 2009 baseball season is over and the New York Yankees have won it all.

My first instinct is to say that all is right in the world. That with this victory, the new house feels like a home. But there's more than that. While the 98-99-00 championships were great, this year's championship is the first after many years of having great seasons, but underwhelming (or in the case of last year, no) postseasons. This whole season, as a Yankees fan, was an exciting one. You have the new ballpark, imports Burnett, Sabathia, Teixiera and Swisher, all of the come from behind and walkoff wins. And then in the post season, the Yankees dispose handily of Minnesota, vanquish the longtime foes from Anaheim, Los Angeles California and finish it all by beating the defending champions. As someone who was at the game the last time they won a series in The Bronx, this one definitely feels good. I'm going to enjoy this. And I'll try convincing The Civee that Hideki is a suitable name for a boy.

The Only Thing Worth Waiting In Line For

King Tom — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:01:18 +0000

Earlier this week, The Civee stood in line for a few hours to get vaccinated against the Swine Flu. Being pregnant, she fits in the main target group. I got a regular flu shot earlier this year and I see no need, for the Swine Flu shot especially considering that by the time the baby arrives, flu season will have passed. Yet she keeps trying to convince me to get the other shot. Although she hasn't tried since we had this exchange:

The Civee: I'm so glad I got that shot. Now I feel invincible. Me: Well, I'm glad you got it. You only had to wait, what, two hours? The Civee: It doesn't mater. You should get it too. Me: I'm thirty-two-years old. The only thing I'm waiting in line for that long is to meet Mr. T.

Weezer's Pinkerton Deluxe: Putting The Puzzle Together

King Tom — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:07:52 +0000

Back in 2004, Geffen released a deluxe edition of Weezer's debut album, 1994's Weezer (the Blue Album). It was a nice two-disc set, with disc one being the album itself and disc two containing the associated B-sides, some demos, live versions and two previously-unheard songs. Fans enjoyed Blue deluxe, but from the moment it was issued, also started clamoring for a deluxe edition of Blue's follow-up, 1996's Pinkerton. And with good reason, as not only does Pinkerton have a number of "how did they leave these off the album" B-sides, but a whole craze devoted to Songs From The Black Hole, discarded material from Pinkerton's earliest incarnation. Earlier this year, the band announced that a Pinkerton Deluxe was in the works. Going off of the model of Blue Deluxe, most fans expected a similar two-disc set, with the album on one disc, and disc two containing demos, B-sides, live versions, and if the band was feeling charitable, some unused SFTBH material. That would have made fans very happy. But earlier this summer, Popular Sounds, a fan blog, claimed much more was on the way for Pinkerton Deluxe:

Coming from an e-mail of vague provinence, I was informed that Pinkerton [Deluxe] will have a total of 43 tracks spanning 2 discs! The source confirmed that Disc 1 is 21 tracks, while Disc 2 is 22 tracks, one of which is a Weezer song no one has ever heard of called "Tragic Girl." Quick, go look up Rivers' COR, it ain't on there. Folks, Pinkerton [Deluxe] is going to be HUGE.

There was a lot of skepticism surrounding these claims. There is no reference to a "Tragic Girl" in either Weezer.com's Recording History or Rivers Cuomo's Catalog of Riffs, the two indisputable sources of Weezer and Cuomo's pre-2005 recording activity. There were some whispers on fan boards that the claims weren't totally wrong, but the band was quiet about Pinkerton Deluxe, until this week, when the band's twitter carried the news that the band was in the studio reviewing material for the deluxe album. Adding further intrigue was the confirmation of the Tragic Girl rumor, when without any prompting, Rivers tweeted:

"Tragic Girl" is going to be like "You Know You're Right" for Pinkerton fans.

With the man behind Weezer confirming the existence of such a song, maybe this 43-track myth has some basis in reality after all. So other than the ten songs that made up Pinkerton and Tragic Girl, what else will be on those two discs? They have to throw on the official Pinkerton B-sides, Waiting on You, You Gave Your Love To Me Softly, Devotion and I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams. A few acoustic versions of Blue and Pinkerton songs also made it as Pinkerton-era B-sides. Another possibility is Getting Up and Leaving, a song the band recorded but never released. Even adding some of Rivers' demos of Pinkerton songs, the track count just cracks 20, so it's likely (if the 43-track item is true) that a number of full-band Songs From the Black Hole will finally make it out of the vaults. (For those of you who don't know, Cuomo's original plan for Weezer's second album was SFTBH, an ambitious rock opera with a storyline paralleling the band's rise to fame and life on the road. SFTBH morphed into Pinkerton after the rejection of the rock opera idea, Rivers' solitary first semester at Harvard and the release of then-bassist Matt Sharp's first Rentals album). Some of Cuomo's original SFTBH demos have made it out on his Alone Series. But fans have never heard the full-band versions, which Weezer recorded in the fall of '95 before switching to the Pinkerton concept in the winter and spring of 96. Going through the Recording history, the following songs got full-band treatment and have not been officially released:

Blast Off!
Superfriend
Longtime Sunshine
Longtime sunshine: Special 'coda' version experiment

Additionally, the band rehearsed versions of these and other songs which were never released.

In the later Pinkerton sessions, which took place in the summer of '96, they also recorded I Swear It's True (an earlier version of which was released on Blue Deluxe) and the aforementioned Getting Up and Leaving. The band finished these with a different bassist the next summer, but because they were being held for a Pink Triangle retail single which was never released, these versions of these songs are also unheard. Unlikely to make the album are Rivers' demos from this era. Most of Rivers' demos have been held back for his Alone series, and going by the Recording History, it looks as if all the band recorded during this time was the material that comprised Pinkerton. (Although, as an aside, it would be interesting if Weezer attempted recording two other songs Rivers wrote during this period, Sheila Can Do [It] and Sunshine O, two upbeat songs which Rivers wrote in between Pinkerton favorites The Good Life and Falling For You. Both Sheila and Sunshine (which some fans believe to be about werewolves) were played during Rivers' solo shows in Boston in 1997, and an excellent version of Sheila Can Do [It] is featured on HOMiE Volume 1, the greatest fan cover album of all time. And neither song seems to fit in the emotional dimension the rest of Pinkerton inhabits). Some online retailers have posted that Pinkerton Deluxe will go on sale next February, so we should get an idea of the real tracklist sometime soon. Even if it's not going to be 43 tracks, there's still a lot out there that fans want to hear and hopefully, we'll finally get them. And once Weezer fans figure that out, then speculation can begin as to what will be featured on Weezer's upcoming rarities album Odds and Ends.

Looks Just Like Me!

King Tom — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:07:40 +0000

The Civee and I went in today for the week 20 ultrasound, which conveniently is also her halfway point.

The doctor seemed pleased with how everything was progressing. Apparently, the baby has long arms and legs, which we're guessing it got from me. Also, the doctor pointed out the humerus, which some believe is the source of one's sense of humor. Which it also got from me.

The Island Moves Again...To Tuesday Nights

King Tom — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:23:51 +0000

It's a good thing that the only decent thing on TV on Tuesday nights is already on ABC, because the alphabet network announced today that the final season of Lost will air Tuesday nights at 9. Or as Lost Boss Carlton Cuse tweeted earlier today:

LOST will premiere Tuesday, February 2 at 9PM.

And yes, Tuesdays @ 9 PM will be the regular time slot.

I'm glad it's back at 9:00 again. That one season where it started at 10:00 kept me up way too late. I've actually enjoyed ABC 's V revival, and it will be nice to have these two shows back-to-back. Another good thing about the move to Tuesday nights- April 7, 2010 is a Thursday. So I won't be distracted by...other things.

Naming Is Not A Game

King Tom — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:34:55 +0000

Last week, the Civee and I found out that our baby on the way is a girl. We're both happy about this, and I have to admit, knowing this will cut down on a lot of disagreements within our household. We've had a girl's name in mind for many years. On the other hand, when it comes to a boy's name, we've only recently agreed on one that we both like. I take naming our child very seriously. Because of this, I was a bit more sensitive to some of the boys names out there. Some names were rejected because they didn't flow right. Others reminded me of kids I grew up with, and I refuse to name my child after the kid who was smelly or one who beat me up at any time. At the same time, there were a bunch of names that I liked that got an immediate veto from the Civee. Here are some of them (including first and middle name combinations when applicable):

Those are just some of the names that the Civee has rejected. Of course, she could forget these if and when there's a next time to talk about boy's names. (And no, I won't tell you what the boy's name we liked was or what our daughter will be named. I fear for my life should I spill the beans).

A Close Call For Richard Cuomo

King Tom — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:35:55 +0000

Earlier today, reputable news sources reported that Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo and his family were involved in a bus crash, with Cuomo being hospitalized due to rib pain. However, now eonline is reporting that Rivers is okay. See for yourself:

Get well Richard. In all seriousness, I wish Rivers, his wife and daughter a speedy recovery. A few months ago, The Civee was involved in a car accident and while she's okay now, she was shook up pretty bad. And after hearing the basics on the phone right after it happened and waiting to find out more, that's not a good spot for anyone to be in. Sure, some Weezer concerts may have to be postponed, but aside from some rib pain, the important thing is Rivers is okay.

Children From the Produce Aisle

King Tom — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 23:05:18 +0000

Being a first-time expectant father, I have a lot to learn about the pregnancy process. Relatively speaking, men have it easy for the nine months their significant other is pregnant. So in an effort to be a good husband, I've taken it upon myself to learn as much about what the Civee is going through as possible. However, in my effort to be studious, I've also become quite bewildered. In an effort to explain what the baby is like at a certain point during the pregnancy, many books and Web sites will liken the baby's size or weight to an outside-the-womb item. That's all fine and dandy. However, most of these sources like to compare the baby to a fruit or vegetable. Take, for example, the bountiful resource babycenter.com. In their "Your Pregnancy: Week by Week" section, they liken a baby's progression to the following:

sesame seed

lentil bean

blueberry

kidney bean

grape

kumquat

fig

lime

lemon

apple

avocado

turnip

bell pepper

large heirloom tomato

banana

carrot

spaghetti squash

large mango

ear of corn

average rutabaga

English hothouse cucumber

head of cauliflower

Chinese cabbage

butternut squash

try carrying four navel oranges

large jicama

a pineapple

your average cantaloupe

honeydew melon

crenshaw melon

a stalk of Swiss chard

a leek

a mini watermelon

small pumpkin

Right now, The Civee's at week 23. It's weird and frightening to picture her giving birth to a large mango. But beyond that, I'm not sure what a rutabaga looks like. I have no idea how a crenshaw melon is different than a honeydew melon. And I thought English cucumbers were always wrapped in plastic. It would be nice if they could think of other real-world items (weighs as much as a can of paint, as big as a Playstation controller) that they could compare the baby to. I applaud the creativity, but comparing a baby to fruits and vegetables is confusing, and scary when one is in the middle of the produce aisle trying to pick out a good kumquat or jicama.