Jack Bauer As Hans Gruber

If you’re a fan of 24 and you’re anything like me, you tune into the show for one reason: to see Jack Bauer lay the smack down.

We don’t watch for the political or international intrigue (although, in the last few seasons, that’s stretching).

We don’t watch for the latest updates on the messed up lives of CTU employees.

And we don’t watch because Jack Bauer’s behind the steering wheel of a Ford Focus for episodes at a time.

It’s getting to the point where Jack Bauer is like Poochie. And I’d just like to say to the producers of 24 (to paraphrase Homer Simpson):

One, [Jack Bauer] needs to be louder, angrier, and have access to a time machine. Two, whenever [Jack]’s not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking “Where’s [Jack]”?

Because I know with one exception this season, whenever he’s not on screen, I’m asking my TV “Where’s Jack?”

The one exception has been the work the last few weeks of Agent Renee.  She’s like Jack at his season-three era darkest, but even her storyline is taking up too much time.

Poochie, er…Jack’s best scene this episode was his short stint as German arms dealer Hans Gruber (at least that’s what I thought the name was).  Jack proved to be fluent in German, and had some great exchanges with the Russian guy’s flunky.  My favorite exchange was this one:

Really, other than the scene with Jack as the German dealer and Agent Renee’s ongoing descent to the dark side, it was one of those episodes where I felt like nothing happened.  Some other random thoughts (and there aren’t many):

-I think Arlo takes the crown for the most annoying CTU employee ever (non boss or mole division).  In fact, I almost wish he is a mole, just so Jack (or Agent Renee, if necessary) can shoot him in the kneecaps.  Actually, Chlöe had the best line tonight (non German division) with her “why don’t you stare at my ass as I walk away” rejoinder to Arlo?

-Agent Renee is bringing it this season. I mean, two single tears two episodes in a row!

I really don’t have anything other to say, so I’ll leave you with this:

What did you think?

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8 thoughts on “Jack Bauer As Hans Gruber

  1. WTF is with the ridiculous glasses? Have the Germans moved on from Hasselhoff to Steve Forbes worship or something?

  2. I have to admit that last night I think I watched maybe 20 minutes of Jack. I honestly found better entertainment flipping between wrestling and Mythbusters.

    And I think I found one flaw in the show, albeit not a new one. I don’t care about any of the characters except Jack.

    Like in this episode when it switched to the trailer park dude and the CTU girl — I didn’t care about her, about him, about their situation, thus I don’t want to waste time on them.

    Now I know that storyline will crash into some other important plot point later on in the season, which is fine, but don’t beat us over the head with it now when we just don’t care.

    I don’t really care about Renee’s problems and 24 is quickly suffering from Heroes Syndrome – too many characters and too many stories going all at once.

    Let’s focus please. Preferrably on Jack.

  3. About the glasses- maybe Jack thinks he’ll confuse the bad guys by going all Clark Kent on them.

    And Toast- I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who feels like the show should focus on Jack.

  4. I actually fell asleep for a few minutes while watching… when I woke up Jack had those goofy glasses on and I thought I was having a bad dream.

  5. LOL i was laughung my ass off when i saw the scene where jack spoke german.

    1. because the accent and grammatics were so awfully beyond recognition.

    2. because i live next to city (bremen) where he claimed to be from hehe.

    so this certainly made my day!

    i have to say that nina’s german in the last episode of season 1 was relly impressive.
    she had an american accent but it was absolutely ok to understand. (btw, in the german dubbed version of the episode she spoke spanish =) )

  6. Thanks for commenting Ernst. I always think it’s interesting to get a non-American’s view on American tv/movies, especially when characters are speaking languages other than English.

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