Tracking the flood, part XXXVIII

1176Cleopatra – v33
1177No Diligence
1180No Bars – v7
1181The Best of Me – v5 2
1182I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams – SFTBH
1183You Think You’re Bad
1184ideas 11-8-2012 16h11m46s
118502 Push Me Back
1186Work 5-30-2013 16h53m3s
1187What The Hell 3
1188The Key To My Heart 2 AL @73
1189Memories (2008 edit) 2
1190Where Is My Protector – Rough 2 Instrumental Nov 10
119102 I Just Took the Most Wicked Dump
1192Fake Smiles And Nervous Laughter – v7
1193Hawaii – v7
1194gun it 11 new chords @ 62.5
1195Ain’t Got Nobody – v5
1196The Life I Never Lived – 2005-06-25 demo a
1197Pacific Sunset – v7
1198Crazy One
1199Ideas 11-8-2013 12h50m57s
1200Ideas 5-21-2013 16h18m19s

Tracking the flood, part xxxvii

1150Real Life Friend – v8
1151You Like to Beat and I Like to Bruise
1152The Life I Never Lived – v1 sketch
1153VN 00085 2
1154All I Need To Know Is Where To Start – 2004-04-23
1155The Good News Channel – v1
1156high hopes
1157Ideas 7-1-2013 13h21m37s
1158acoustic minor plucked chords
1159I Wanna’ Be With You – 2004-02-20
1160_tom sawyer bass riff
116122 The 4th Of July
1162The Best of Me 15 normal
1163I Hate You
1164terje @120_2015_2_16_12_57_59
1165Ideas 12-12-2012 18h8m51s
1167Expatriates in Paris – 2012-9-12 sketch 2
116825 baroque climbing progression
1169Cleopatra – v8
1170work 3-13-2013 1h18m56s
1171Sing My Blues Away – v11
1173I ii vi aku
1174Save Me – 2004-07-20
1175I Wanna Be Big, Bigger Than You – v1 riff

Tracking the flood, part xxxvi


1126The Rules of Life
1127Beautiful Lies 4 INST @64
1128Bless The Whole Wide World – v9
1129The British Are Coming – v8
1130Ain’t Got Nobody – v6
1131Work 2-28-2013 11h51m52s
113206 I Would Do
1133Something’s Missing – 2013-2-1 sketch 4
1134Cleopatra 5
1135Freak Flag – v7
1136Untitled8 1
1137in the mall rc vox
1138TKX-(Between 76-77)- Toe the Line an
113916th strum Imaj7 ii7 over pedal
1140Rock And Roll Cockroach – Rough 1
1141The Best of Me – v7
1143Hippies – v7
1144Ideas 2-16-2013 10h23m25s
1145No Bars – v4
1146Real Life Friend – v11
1147Poor Beggar’s Son
115002 02

tracking the flood, part xxxv

110113   Old Man
1102409 shortest edit
1103Weekend   Girl 4 half time @66.5
1105I’m   So Lonely – Parson Brown
1106All   About You 1 Looks Like it’s Gonna   Rain @118
1107For   What It’s Worth
110805   Transported
1109work   3-13-2013 1h23m57s
1110Broken   Man 4 @ 92
1111_midtempo   1 4 5 groove
1112as   hot as it gets 5 @128
1113You’re   Holding Me Back – 2004-07-20
1114385   2002-10-08 turn me round (with o
1116this_girl_5_piano_verse   1
1117Jimmy   Mcfarlan – 2
1118Work   7-3-2012 10h51m1s
1119Codependent   – v10
1120Work   3-23-2013 5h46m16s
1121Bells   In My Head – v6 won’t be long
1122Ideas   6-20-2013 13h23m45s
1123Untitled2   4
1124Simple   To Me – v8 1
112511   Oh No, This is Not For Me

Tracking the flood, part xxxiv

1076Simple   To Me – v7
1077You’re Gonna   Be a Star (Someday) 4 @128
1078Almost   Beautiful 1 AO @ 109 -1
1079You’re   Beautiful To me 12
1080Hippies   – 2013-2-15 acoustic demo 2
1081We   Are All We Have 4 stretch chorus @   74 +1
1082No   Bars – v13
1083Hippies   – 2013-2-12 sketch 3
1084Whatever   Dude
1085The   New Girl
1086Volunteers   – v2
1087I   Feel So Excited – melody
108844   Sing a Melody
1089IV I IV   B piano slammin’ shuffle 8
1090The   Band We Loved The Most inst 2
1091Return   to Ithaca 6 for RC
1092Why   Am I Getting So Upset 7
1093The   Night we dropped the bomb (confl
1094I   Was Just Being Honest
1095terje aku
1096dictadroid3_2015_2_14_14_31_6   (1)
1097Bender 17 drop    @79 -1
1098Collaborate   – 2012-11-14 acoustic sketch 1
1099Pacific   Sunset 2
1100Loveable   Loser 3 @100

Chemotherapy: The worst Ride You’ll Ever Take

Went to lunch today with my wife. A fruit cup in the middle of the table held a blueberry. For a moment, I wanted nothing more than to eat that blueberry. But doing so would have felt like shoving a hot poker down my throat.

I’ve been going through chemotherapy since October. Extreme cold sensitivity is one of many side effects that I’ve experienced in that time. I’m writing this not to whine or vent (okay, I’m writing it to whine and vent) but to document what I’m going through, mostly for myself. I do want to say that as horrible as this all feels, I trust and have confidence in my care team and their decisions.

I found out I had colon cancer back in July. It’s stage 3, meaning that it’s likely spread to some nearby lymph nodes (and maybe a nearby blood vessel), but one spot in my large intestine is the only place where there’s an actual tumor. My care team thinks a now-standard regimen of radiation (six weeks), chemotherapy and surgery will get me back to normal.

Radiation started back in August. The actual daily procedure went well, although I had a negative reaction to one of the drugs that accompanied the procedure and ended up spending a week in the hospital (more on that reaction later). Since October, I’ve been going through a standard chemotherapy regimen and I’ll take you through it day-by-day, because now, I’m used to how it goes.

Each round is three days (starting on Monday (except for holiday weekends, because they’re nice and give cancer New Year’s and Martin Luther King Day off)), then I get the next ten days off to recover and start all over again.

Funny thing is, before starting chemo, I figured this would be easy and I could just take it all at once.

I was wrong. Very wrong.


On Monday morning, I shower for the last time in a few days and go to the hospital. I get my blood checked and my port accessed. My port is a device surgically implanted under my right collarbone that they can hook an IV into. It left a scar and there’s an ugly bulge and it hurts if I stretch my arm too far one way or the other. Accessing the port basically means sticking a needle into it that will be there until Wednesday. Then I meet with my oncology team, go over the blood results and go downstairs for the actual chemotherapy.

The regimen is called FOLFOX, which is standard for colon cancer. They hook me up to an IV containing a medicine (hah!) called oxaliplatin for two hours. Once that’s done, I get the other medicine, 5FU (or as I refer to it, F-me). But I get the 5FU over the course of 46 hours, so I get it in a portable pump that I wear around on a fanny pack and go home.

As soon as I leave the hospital, I can feel the side effects. At first, my throat is sore and my mouth tastes horrible. I also have cramps in my calves and hands. And then there’s the cold sensitivity. Because I live in Ohio, temperatures have been freezing (or lower) since November. I can feel it in my fingers and face as soon as I step outside (and that’s wearing gloves/hat/scarf). The worst part of the cold sensitivity affects my eating/drinking. Anything cold hurts to eat or drink. And it makes the taste in my mouth worse. The intensity of the cold sensitivity decreases slightly every day, but it can linger on until the next week.

The rest of Monday is pretty normal, although I have a lot less energy than usual. But life isn’t comfortable with a pump strapped around your waist (not to mention it also rules out showering for a few days). Hopefully, Monday night I’ll be able to eat a good dinner because I’m going to need it.

(I should note that for the first chemo session, I had very bad hiccups that started Monday night and lasted through Wednesday, hiccups that would last up to eight hours. This was caused by a steroid they prescribed me to help with the symptoms. But it was making things worse instead of better, so I was advised to stop taking it after the first week.)


Tuesday starts off like Monday ended. But my stomach starts to feel a little queasy Tuesday morning, so if I’m lucky I can get in a good lunch and dinner. The queasiness builds up until the late afternoon, when I’m on the verge of vomiting. Additionally, the cramps from the previous day come back and I get very restless. I don’t want to stand or sit. Lying down is okay, but my body cannot stay still. I get very tired and it’s tough to concentrate. Also present from the day before: the bad taste in my mouth.

Despite how tired I am, it’s tough to sleep, especially when it’s time to go to sleep Tuesday night. It takes a while for me to fall asleep and then once I’m asleep it feels like I wake up every thirty minutes.


Starting very early Wednesday morning, the worst of the side effects start. The nausea is at a high. I can try and hold this back with a variety of antacids, but Pepto can only do so much. Not only am I vomiting, but I’m also doing other things at the same time that would impress Dani Rojas.

Along with the nausea and vomiting comes major chest pain. This is from the 5FU and is the same side effect I was hospitalized for in August. Back then, I had been taking 5FU in pill form and after a few days, started feeling this major chest pain (burning, rapid/pounding heart beat, feeling hot, sweating, pain radiating down my left arm) after a few minutes of moderate activity. In the ER, I was told it was like I was having a heart attack but without having a heart attack (because of the lack of some chemical or another in my blood). After many scans and tests, my heart was ruled to be okay and it was decided that the heart pain was a GERD-like reflex to the medication (it’s making my esophagus tight, and my heart is reacting in kind). I was switched to the infusion back then and the heart issue went away.

However, it came back with the chemo regimen. So as I’m having these nausea and vomiting spells, I’ll also get hot and sweaty and feel this debilitating chest pain. This can happen on its own, or if I do any activity more than taking 25 steps. I’ll lay down to get the pain to go away, which works sometimes. But when it doesn’t, I take a nitro pill (but I can’t take more than two a day) and just stop doing everything.

And have I mentioned that I haven’t really eaten anything since Tuesday?

Luckily, sometime on Wednesday, I’ll go to the hospital to get disconnected. These last few times, they’ve given me fluids through IV, which do help me feel a little better. But because the medicine is in my system, even after I get unhooked, I’m still feeling the nausea and chest pains. The cramping and cold sensitivity are there too. A few times I’ve made the mistake of taking a shower after getting home, but the ‘activity’ of standing still for a few minutes for the shower activates my chest thing, so I wait on that.


Even without the medicine, the symptoms stick around. The nausea and chest pains happen until midday Thursday. Cold sensitivity is still a thing. And despite not eating for nearly two days, I have no appetite. Maybe I can manage to eat a few bites later on in the day, but I’m not sure it’s because I’ve been nauseous for a few days or because I haven’t eaten at all, but I don’t want to eat at all.


By Friday, I’m ready to eat. I can walk and do most of my normal activities. Cold sensitivity will still be a thing, but it’s not as bad as it has been. I’m ready to live a normal life again. Although in the back of my head, I’m dreading the Monday after next because it starts all over again.

But not this time, because I’ll be done with it.

(Unless they give me more chemo after my surgery.)

Despite how bad it is, it is going to (or supposed to) help kill this thing inside me. So I guess it’s worth it. But I really don’t want to do it again.

Tracking the Flood, Part xxxiv

1051Hawaii   – v5
1052Gravity   Will Bring You Down – v13
1053How   Many Places 003
1054Pacific   Sunset – v9 more solo guitars
1055I   Won’t Flake On You – v5
1056toby   gad idea 1
1057Anonymous   – v23
1059If   You Want Me Tell Me So 2
1060I   Can’t Find The Words 6 high of
106208   Miss Sweeney 2
1063Don’t   Show Us Your Body – v6
1064something   special 6 broken verse @102
1065Warm   For You
1066Does   Anybody Love Anybody – v8 bridge sped up
106701   Epic Intro
1068E   C# techo riff 2 chorus
1069The   British Are Coming – v10
1070Ever   Again – 2004-02-20
1071Lay   Down
1072When   You’re Alone – Don Slacks
1073Second   Best Hugger In The World – v9
1074Piano   Minor 8-28-2012 10H2M22S
1075Hey   Nonbeliever – v2

Tracking the flood, part xxxiii

1026The   Beach Boys 3 @85
1027You’re   Beautiful To me 7
1028Message   Board
1029Superfan 17
1030Anonymous   – v3
1032puzzle   rip
1033Ideas   10-16-2013 11h3m20s
1035I   See Colors 4 @97 -2
1036Ideas   10-3-2013 15h36m49s
1037Bone   On Bone – 2013-2-28 sketch 2
1038Any   Friend Of Diane’s 2 AJ @89
1039Whatever,   Dude
1040The   Waste Land – v3
1041You   Were Right here All Along 4
1042as   hot as it gets 4 @126
1043Do   You Want To Get High – v14 alt cho
1044Fake   Smiles – v4
1046Ideas   3-28-2013 17h12m23s
104702   Getchoo
1048Take   Your Life – v1
1049Something’s   Missing – 2013-2-1 sketch 2
1050The   British Are Coming – v33

Tracking the flood, part xxxii

1004Ideas   1-3-2013 14h46m27s
100502   Galactus
1006Work   6-17-2013 21h40m24s
1007The   Band We Loved The Most 3
1008Money   Makes Me Happy – SFTV
1009Guiding   Light 6 swear to god bridge @131 -1
1010Why   Won’t You Love Me – v5 same chord
101173   sing a melody
1012Intro. (also Always, Forever) – 2004 Unchained   Melody
1013Almost   Beautiful 2 Happy Now @125
1015work   3-13-2013 1h0m52s
1016Nadeshiko   – 2013-1-3 Brief Vocal Note
1017The   Best Of Me – v1
1019Work   7-16-2013 17h4m49s
1020You   Got To Mow
1021tense   desperate piano 2
1022Cleopatra   – v25
1023Teenage   Victory Song
102442   042a
1025Beatle   That We Loved The Most 21

Tracking the flood, part XXXI

97602   Track 02
977Fool’s   Gold
978Something’s   Missing – 2013-2-1 sketch 5
979Negativland   – Don Slacks
980You Lied To   Us
981Work   10-15-2013 10h33m59s
982You’re   Beautiful To me 14
98321   Suck My Hot Poker
984Higher   Power – 2003 Demos
985Untitled3   (1)
986suki   yaki cuomo Ideas 2-15-2013 10h2
987Sports   Team 3
988Second   Best Hugger in the World – 2013-2-13 sketch 1
989Unknown   Song F – 2012-12-13 sketch 2
99048   i’m gonna write_
991ring   around rock bridge 1
992Working   Man – v3
993Somebody   Tell Me Why – 2
994Binoculars 5
995summer_Elaine_and_drunk_Dori   1
99601   Where Is My Protector – Rough 2
997Simple   Fisherman (Bgv In Bridge) – 2004-02-13
998St.   George – 2012-10-23 acoustic sketch new chorus
999Work   10-27-2012 11h59m20s
100011   11 11 11 A11