King Tom, Herder of Cats

I’ve heard the phrase herdin’ cats many times in my life. I always thought it was a ridiculous phrase, until today, when I actually herded a cat. Well, I still think it’s ridiculous phrase, but the act of herding a cat isn’t that difficult.

I have a neighbor (not the weird one) who has a cat. The neighbor lets the cat roam the hallways of our apartment building when he (the neighbor, that is) is away at work. People don’t mind, because Ripken (the cat, although if it were mine, I would have named it Jeter, Alvaro or even Meacham) is a nice cat and doesn’t leave any deposits in the hallway.

Anyway, this morning, I was leaving for work, when I remembered just as I was opening the door, to take the trash out. So I walked back to my kitchen, took the bag out of the trashcan, tied it up and walked back out, when I heard a meow coming from my bedroom. With a full trashbag in hand, and my work satchel in the other, I followed the meows, to find Ripken under my bed. I kind of comically chased him out, trying to block his way as we went, so that he wouldn’t explore my apartment further.

Even with my hands full, I managed to get him out, and I have to admit, it was quite fun. But herding the cat wasn’t difficult. From all the times I had heard the phrase, I thought it would be some insurmountable task. But if I can do it, so can you.

So the next time someone uses the phrase “herdin cats,” just think that obviously, they should color themselves shamed–and if I had a metaphor tree out back, I could go on all day. You get the idea.

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