Pop quiz. The TV show known as 24 got it’s name because:
(a) There are 24 episodes in each season, mimicking the whole idea of 24 hours in a day, ergo each season takes place over the span of one day.
(b) It’s the number of times Jack Bauer gets stabbed, shot or otherwise maimed each season.
(c) The last 24 minutes of each episode are the only ones worth watching.
If you answered (c), you were right! You win a year’s supply of turtle wax and one free tax preparation session from Jack Bauer, CPA.
I don’t know what it is this season, but it’s almost like I can skip the first two thirds of each episode and not miss anything by watching just the last few segments.
For example, if you watched only the last 24 minutes of tonight’s episode, you saw Agent Renee freak out on the Russian Mobster/Rapist, stab him, then accidentally stab Jack in the gut. But a knife to the small intestine won’t stop Jack Bauer, as Jack will use that knife, throw it with perfect aim at Russian flunky number one’s throat and shoot and kill Russian flunky number two through a very flimsy wall. Meanwhile, the upper level Russian Mobsters showed up, took Jack into custody as CTU freaked out because they lost track of Jack.
See, you didn’t miss anything!
On the other hand, if you watched just the first 38 minutes of tonight’s episode of 24, what did you see? Well, something was going on in the IRKian consulate. Jack sat in a car then hung out with the Russian flunkies while the Russian Mobster/Rapist made some phone calls. And Agent Dana tried to maneuver her ex-boyfriend and his illiterate friend through an NYPD lockup.
Yawn.
Some other things about tonight:
-They should make a rubes-in-the city style sitcom about Dana, the ex-boyfriend and his illiterate friend. That watergun prank was GOLD!
-Jack did have one good line in the opening minutes: As the flunky who was driving him told him he couldn’t make a phone call, Jack retorted: “Does this look like a situation where you get to make demands?”
-Are they paying Hunchback Hastings by the minute, or was he out shopping for a new back brace during the first two-thirds of tonight’s episode? Just like last week, he didn’t appear until the show’s last segment. Not that I mind. When he’s on the screen, I have this uncontrollable urge to shout out “STAND UP STRAIGHT!”
-I think Hunchback Hastings is a bit of a perv. As I put it a few weeks ago, “Hunchback Hastings was delighting a bit too much over hearing the sordid details of President Omar’s indiscretions.” This week he just blurts out to Jack (about Renee) “half an hour earlier, she was having sex with the guy!” Hastings needs to take his mind out of the gutter, the curve out of his spine and start leading things at CTU.
What did you think?
Dammit…that’s what I get for watching the first 38 minutes and not the last 24. I missed stabbing AND shooting. Turds.
I learned my lesson then. Next week I’ll just tune in at 9:30p and go from there.
Seriously, you missed the last part of the show?