It’ll always be wrestling to me

(the weekly 24 post is below this entry)

So I went with B.Vaughn and his wife who dares call me a nerd to a live WWE event, Monday Night Raw.

I’m sure I’ve said before that I don’t watch wrestling as much as I used to–partially because some of my favorite wrestlers are gone, partially because the storylines are horrible and mostly because I don’t care for the wrestlers who they choose to feature all the damn time.

We had great seats, first row off the floor, with nothing in front of us. We were right on the other side of the ramp from the boom camera, so we were on TV quite a few times. I made it a point of doing an exaggerated yawn whenever a certain dumbass mustached, talentless, bloated, boring wrestler with an incomprehensible theme song would walk down the ramp.

I was surprised at the number of young kids there, including the six-year-old who kept hitting me with his sign. I was considering bringing a sign saying “I’d rather be watching 24,” but didn’t feel like getting high off permanent markers from making the sign.

Still, the show was fun. It was nice to see fellow pirate Charlie Haas back in the quasi-spotlight. And after the show ended, they had the advertised three-way steel cage main event. Which was pretty good.

The highlight of the show, however, was a quasi-shoot interview that Joey Styles did after walking off the commentary team:

Six months ago, WWE called ME – because I wasn’t looking for a job. Because they had once again embarrassed Jim Ross. Every week – week after week – I got lectured about the differences between pro-wrestling and sports entertainment. I’m not allowed to say ‘wrestling’ or ‘wrestler’ I have to say ‘Sports Entertainment’ and ‘Superstar’. I have to ignore moves and holds – so I can tell stories. It’s damn insulting to the WRESTLERS who leave their families 300 days a year to ply their craft in THAT RING.

So here’s the best part. Since I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller, I get pulled from Wrestlemania. Because I apparently sound like Jim Ross, who is the guy they fired in the first place – that makes sense. I get bumped from Wrestlemania… then I get bumped from BACKLASH!?!??! BACKLASH!?

On ECW I called live Pay Per Views on my own. ON MY OWN. Hasn’t been done since. I am sick of Sports Entertainment. I am sick of Male Chairleaders. I am sick of Boogers. I am sick of semen. I am sick of our Chairman. He makes out with divas to support his own sick ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and I’m sick of all of you fans for supporting this crap. I quit. (thanks to for the transcription)

Preach on, Joey. And good luck with the ECW revival.

Published by