Author: King Tom

A few weeks ago, The Civee resumed her graduate classes, making Tuesday and Wednesday nights the time  Hope and I get to hang out and do fun things like listen to Weezer and watch the Yankees.

So last night we were hanging out, laughing, running around, listening to some music, waiting for the Yankees game to start and probably doing some other things which The Civee would disapprove of when it hit me- a year ago today, all this little baby could do was hang out.  Sure, she’d “listen” to whatever background music was on, but she couldn’t laugh, run or otherwise interact with me.  Hope has come a long way in just a year.  Have a look for yourself:

People have been saying that Hope looks like me.  I think they say that because her hair is just growing in while I’m starting to lose mine.  But I actually see a lot of The Civee in her.  Her smile, her sense of adventure and her coyness all remind me of her mother.  Still, she’s her own person.  She’s coordinated.  And strong.  And smart.

Back when she was a month old, I said something along the lines that I was surprised I hadn’t dropped or otherwise broken her.  Well, thankfully, the streak continues.  Although it is getting harder to hang on to her.  She loves to run around and is starting to do more things on her own.  And as much fun as it was to hold her as a newborn, it’s just as much fun to interact with her and watch her explore the world.

Happy birthday, Hope!

I should warn you up front that this post is going to be more explicit and mature than the usual nonsense featured here at the Kingdom.  This post is about one thing.  Well, two things actually.  The Civee’s breasts.  And this whole article has been posted with her approval.

Back before we were expecting a baby, The Civee and I had a goal for our future child: to be breastfed.  There are many benefits to breastfeeding- it promotes mother/child bonding, antibodies in the milk protect the baby from infections, particularly in the ear (this will be important later on), and it costs less than formula. (However, if you ask The Civee, she’ll tell you that how each mother decides to feed her child is her own choice that ought to be supported-there are many seldom talked about trade-offs and roadblocks that make it very hard or impossible for some women to breastfeed (Can you tell who wrote this sentence?).)

For guys out there who are single and/or not fathers yet, I should take some time to fill you in on what they don’t tell you about breasts during breastfeeding:

• They get bigger.
• However, they’re also off-limits.  You’re on a strict look-but-don’t-touch basis from before the baby’s birth until a few weeks after breastfeeding ends.
• Remember the Hatch in Lost? How a button had to be pressed every 108 minutes to release energy to keep the world from blowing up?  Well, milk-filled breasts are the same.
• They hurt.

Despite all this, we decided to do it.  However, there was a complication.  As regular readers of this blog know, we found out a few months before she was born that Hope would have a cleft lip and possibly a cleft palate, which would make it difficult, if not impossible, to create the suction to breastfeed (or feed from a normal bottle). Learning that breastfeeding our daughter may not be possible was difficult for The Civee to hear. We were a little sad about it.

Nevertheless, The Civee and I decided to do the next best thing to breastfeeding- she would pump- using a machine to extract the milk and bottle it, which we would then feed to Hope.  Since Hope would need two major surgeries before her first birthday and because cleft babies are more prone to ear infections, we decided this was the best way to go.

For The Civee, pumping was not easy.  The actual act was.  But everything involved with pumping was not.  The Civee had to pump multiple times each day (it started off about seven times each day, with at least one overnight session).  Each session lasted at least 20 minutes.  For the first three months, she would get up and feed Hope at 2:40 a.m., pump at 3:00 am, crawl back in bed at 3:30 and get up at 5:00 a.m. to start the process all over again. There were multiple pump parts to clean each time and bottles of milk to refrigerate.  If one of the pump parts broke, we had to track down replacement parts online.  If both of us were around, it was a bit easier.  But if, for example, I was at work and it was just Hope and The Civee, it could be quite a struggle for her to watch a baby and pump at the same time.

In addition to all that, there really wasn’t much in the way of support.  Most mothers who pump do it to supplement their breast feeding.  Apparently, there are very few mothers who just pump.  So finding resources and information was tough.  When we were at the hospital for Hope’s birth, we met several times with the lactation specialist, a person the hospital employs to help new mothers learn to breastfeed.  However, the specialist wasn’t familiar with pumping, at one point answering our question with a terse “Google it.”

Even in the face of all that opposition, The Civee pumped.  For the first six months of her life, breast milk was all Hope had to drink. Even after we introduced formula and food, breastmilk served as the mainstay of Hope’s diet.

When we first heard Hope would have a cleft lip, we were told many cleft babies have trouble with their milk/formula intake and have growth issues (the medical term is “failure to thrive”).  There was some learning on our part how to use the special bottles, but from the beginning Hope grew.  She’s not even a year old and she’s in 18-month clothes (mostly because of her height).  She’s also very active.  The evaluators and therapists we’ve met with are very happy with her development.  And she’s only had one minor ear infection.

The Civee and I (mostly The Civee) put the pump away last month.  Hope fully recovered from surgery number two (something we attribute to drinking mom’s milk moments after she woke up from surgery). Clearly, all of the pumping was worth it.  Because Hope can’t do it (right now), I’d like to thank The Civee for doing all that work.  We have a wonderful little daughter, and The Civee’s breasts played a large part in that.

It’s been real cold outside lately.  And for some reason, my daughter wants to pretend she’s outside, even when she’s not.  Other than that, I have nothing to say. I just like this picture.

When I last wrote about Hope, she was sick.

Since then, both The Civee and I caught whatever it was she had.  It wasn’t pleasant.  But here we are, almost two weeks later, and all three of us are doing better.  It’s been a long two weeks and I have a feeling that it felt even longer for Hope.  But she’s feeling and looking better:

Because it was so nice out and because all three of us are doing better, we decided to go to the zoo.  Hope’s grandparents got her a zoo membership for her birthday and she was nice enough to take us with her for the first trip to the zoo.

I think we could have walked through the whole zoo and Hope would have been happy without even seeing any animals.  The place was crowded and Hope loves to people watch.  But the animals we did see were an added bonus.  One of the first stops at the Columbus zoo is a barn and petting area filled with goats.  After making our way through the barn, Hope and I walked around the petting area.  She walked up to a sleeping goat and wasn’t afraid to pet it.

The goat eventually woke up, but that didn’t phase Hope at all.  She could have spent a lot more time with the goat, but there were other animals to see.  Hope also saw a tiger, polar bears, an elephant and a flock of flamingos (and some goat-like mammal named the “something-horn” that I forgot the name of).  Hope had a real good time.  We didn’t try to hit every part of the zoo because we figure we have time to go back and visit.  I never thought I’d be the type of person with a zoo membership, but now that I have one, I have to take advantage of it, for Hope’s sake, of course.

And because I’ve gotten some complaints from the grandparental units that there haven’t been enough videos lately, here’s Hope this morning:

Hope has been out of her arm restraints for a little more than a week and back on solid foods for four days.

While I’d love to say that everything is fine and Hope is better than ever, that’s not all true.  Her recovery from the surgery is complete.  She’s reacquainted herself to solid foods.  The thing is, she’s sick.

Since Sunday night, she’s been coughing, stuffed up with a runny nose and has been running a fever.  She has moments where she’ll smile and play, but most of the time, she’ll walk from one room to the other looking not happy or comfortable.  Don’t believe me? Take a look:

I almost want to say she was happier after her surgery.

The Civee took her to the doctor’s today and was told Hope caught some virus that’s going around now.  It could get better, it could get worse. The pediatrician said to keep giving her fluids, but other than that, didn’t have much else to say.

When she was a few months old, Hope had a minor ear infection.  But this is the first time she’s been sick enough to the point where we can tell how unhappy and uncomfortable she is.

Hope will probably use this as an opportunity to eat as much Jell-O and ice cream as possible.  That will end once she’s looking and feeling better.

Now that her cleft palate has been repaired, Hope is theoretically able to make all sorts of consonant sounds she was not able to before.

She’s been saying things like “Ma-Ma” for a few months, even when referring to The Civee.  Last week after the surgery, she started making a few “Na-Na” sounds, making her able to sing along to Hey Jude.

But today marked the greatest day for Hope’s growing vocal skills.  We were playing after I came home.  And she unleashed a “La-La” and “Ba-Ba.”  But to top it all off, she said “Da-Da.”

I’m very proud of her.

Nevermind the fact I was holding a stuffed giraffe when she said it, but the foundation for greatness is there.