King Tom's Kingdom

I should warn you up front that this post is going to be more explicit and mature than the usual nonsense featured here at the Kingdom.  This post is about one thing.  Well, two things actually.  The Civee’s breasts.  And this whole article has been posted with her approval.

Back before we were expecting a baby, The Civee and I had a goal for our future child: to be breastfed.  There are many benefits to breastfeeding- it promotes mother/child bonding, antibodies in the milk protect the baby from infections, particularly in the ear (this will be important later on), and it costs less than formula. (However, if you ask The Civee, she’ll tell you that how each mother decides to feed her child is her own choice that ought to be supported-there are many seldom talked about trade-offs and roadblocks that make it very hard or impossible for some women to breastfeed (Can you tell who wrote this sentence?).)

For guys out there who are single and/or not fathers yet, I should take some time to fill you in on what they don’t tell you about breasts during breastfeeding:

• They get bigger.
• However, they’re also off-limits.  You’re on a strict look-but-don’t-touch basis from before the baby’s birth until a few weeks after breastfeeding ends.
• Remember the Hatch in Lost? How a button had to be pressed every 108 minutes to release energy to keep the world from blowing up?  Well, milk-filled breasts are the same.
• They hurt.

Despite all this, we decided to do it.  However, there was a complication.  As regular readers of this blog know, we found out a few months before she was born that Hope would have a cleft lip and possibly a cleft palate, which would make it difficult, if not impossible, to create the suction to breastfeed (or feed from a normal bottle). Learning that breastfeeding our daughter may not be possible was difficult for The Civee to hear. We were a little sad about it.

Nevertheless, The Civee and I decided to do the next best thing to breastfeeding- she would pump- using a machine to extract the milk and bottle it, which we would then feed to Hope.  Since Hope would need two major surgeries before her first birthday and because cleft babies are more prone to ear infections, we decided this was the best way to go.

For The Civee, pumping was not easy.  The actual act was.  But everything involved with pumping was not.  The Civee had to pump multiple times each day (it started off about seven times each day, with at least one overnight session).  Each session lasted at least 20 minutes.  For the first three months, she would get up and feed Hope at 2:40 a.m., pump at 3:00 am, crawl back in bed at 3:30 and get up at 5:00 a.m. to start the process all over again. There were multiple pump parts to clean each time and bottles of milk to refrigerate.  If one of the pump parts broke, we had to track down replacement parts online.  If both of us were around, it was a bit easier.  But if, for example, I was at work and it was just Hope and The Civee, it could be quite a struggle for her to watch a baby and pump at the same time.

In addition to all that, there really wasn’t much in the way of support.  Most mothers who pump do it to supplement their breast feeding.  Apparently, there are very few mothers who just pump.  So finding resources and information was tough.  When we were at the hospital for Hope’s birth, we met several times with the lactation specialist, a person the hospital employs to help new mothers learn to breastfeed.  However, the specialist wasn’t familiar with pumping, at one point answering our question with a terse “Google it.”

Even in the face of all that opposition, The Civee pumped.  For the first six months of her life, breast milk was all Hope had to drink. Even after we introduced formula and food, breastmilk served as the mainstay of Hope’s diet.

When we first heard Hope would have a cleft lip, we were told many cleft babies have trouble with their milk/formula intake and have growth issues (the medical term is “failure to thrive”).  There was some learning on our part how to use the special bottles, but from the beginning Hope grew.  She’s not even a year old and she’s in 18-month clothes (mostly because of her height).  She’s also very active.  The evaluators and therapists we’ve met with are very happy with her development.  And she’s only had one minor ear infection.

The Civee and I (mostly The Civee) put the pump away last month.  Hope fully recovered from surgery number two (something we attribute to drinking mom’s milk moments after she woke up from surgery). Clearly, all of the pumping was worth it.  Because Hope can’t do it (right now), I’d like to thank The Civee for doing all that work.  We have a wonderful little daughter, and The Civee’s breasts played a large part in that.

It’s been real cold outside lately.  And for some reason, my daughter wants to pretend she’s outside, even when she’s not.  Other than that, I have nothing to say. I just like this picture.

When I last wrote about Hope, she was sick.

Since then, both The Civee and I caught whatever it was she had.  It wasn’t pleasant.  But here we are, almost two weeks later, and all three of us are doing better.  It’s been a long two weeks and I have a feeling that it felt even longer for Hope.  But she’s feeling and looking better:

Because it was so nice out and because all three of us are doing better, we decided to go to the zoo.  Hope’s grandparents got her a zoo membership for her birthday and she was nice enough to take us with her for the first trip to the zoo.

I think we could have walked through the whole zoo and Hope would have been happy without even seeing any animals.  The place was crowded and Hope loves to people watch.  But the animals we did see were an added bonus.  One of the first stops at the Columbus zoo is a barn and petting area filled with goats.  After making our way through the barn, Hope and I walked around the petting area.  She walked up to a sleeping goat and wasn’t afraid to pet it.

The goat eventually woke up, but that didn’t phase Hope at all.  She could have spent a lot more time with the goat, but there were other animals to see.  Hope also saw a tiger, polar bears, an elephant and a flock of flamingos (and some goat-like mammal named the “something-horn” that I forgot the name of).  Hope had a real good time.  We didn’t try to hit every part of the zoo because we figure we have time to go back and visit.  I never thought I’d be the type of person with a zoo membership, but now that I have one, I have to take advantage of it, for Hope’s sake, of course.

And because I’ve gotten some complaints from the grandparental units that there haven’t been enough videos lately, here’s Hope this morning:

Hope has been out of her arm restraints for a little more than a week and back on solid foods for four days.

While I’d love to say that everything is fine and Hope is better than ever, that’s not all true.  Her recovery from the surgery is complete.  She’s reacquainted herself to solid foods.  The thing is, she’s sick.

Since Sunday night, she’s been coughing, stuffed up with a runny nose and has been running a fever.  She has moments where she’ll smile and play, but most of the time, she’ll walk from one room to the other looking not happy or comfortable.  Don’t believe me? Take a look:

I almost want to say she was happier after her surgery.

The Civee took her to the doctor’s today and was told Hope caught some virus that’s going around now.  It could get better, it could get worse. The pediatrician said to keep giving her fluids, but other than that, didn’t have much else to say.

When she was a few months old, Hope had a minor ear infection.  But this is the first time she’s been sick enough to the point where we can tell how unhappy and uncomfortable she is.

Hope will probably use this as an opportunity to eat as much Jell-O and ice cream as possible.  That will end once she’s looking and feeling better.

Now that her cleft palate has been repaired, Hope is theoretically able to make all sorts of consonant sounds she was not able to before.

She’s been saying things like “Ma-Ma” for a few months, even when referring to The Civee.  Last week after the surgery, she started making a few “Na-Na” sounds, making her able to sing along to Hey Jude.

But today marked the greatest day for Hope’s growing vocal skills.  We were playing after I came home.  And she unleashed a “La-La” and “Ba-Ba.”  But to top it all off, she said “Da-Da.”

I’m very proud of her.

Nevermind the fact I was holding a stuffed giraffe when she said it, but the foundation for greatness is there.

Yesterday, Hope, The Civee and I returned home following Hope’s surgery to repair her cleft palate.

We went to Children’s Hospital early Monday morning.  And by early, I mean we were the first family in the surgery waiting room- we were even assigned pre-surgery bed number 1.  The surgery, which was performed by the same doctor who did Hope’s cleft lip repair, went well.  The wait seemed like it went by quickly, especially compared to the wait during her first surgery.

After surgery, however, was another story.  Hope was clearly in pain, and for a baby who likes to move around, not enjoying being hooked up to the IV and other monitoring tubes.

The doctors gave Hope a lot of pain medication.  And there were points when she was clearly affected by the drugs- looking up at the ceiling, letting her eyes roll into the back of her head, staring at her hand, watching it as it moved.  And despite the fact that these drugs were supposed to make her fall asleep, they didn’t.  Hope would sleep for a half hour or so, wake up and be hyper for a few hours.  Hope didn’t sleep much Monday afternoon.  Or Monday night.  Or after midnight Monday.

While the hospital staff took good care of Hope (and us- I have to say they have some of the best apple juice I’ve ever had), the recovery room wasn’t exactly what I’d call babyproof.  It being a hospital, we didn’t want her walking around on the floor.  The crib/bed was really high off the ground, and as I mentioned, she was hooked up to an IV which would get tangled the few times we let her on her own.  The thing that calmed her the most was if The Civee or I took her for a walk to go look at the fish tank in the lobby.

And perhaps for Hope, once again, the worst part of the recovery phase of the surgery is having her arms confined in arm restraints (which, the hospital calls “Welcome Sleeves,” a euphemism much like “convenience fee” or “image enhancement camp“).  We haven’t had a meltdown yet, but she’s clearly happier when her arms are free of the “welcome sleeves.”  Sadly, the doctor put the kibosh on my idea of baby boxing gloves (or something similar), saying he didn’t want the chance of anything going in her mouth.

Following a palate repair, babies aren’t in the mood to eat (or do anything else).  But Hope took just enough milk Monday night and was alert enough that the doctors were fine with sending her home.

From the second we got home, Hope seemed much more comfortable.  She was able to walk and crawl around (more on that later).  She was able to eat again.  And most importantly, she’s been sleeping.  She took a few large naps during the day yesterday and today.  She slept from 7:00 last night until 10:00 this morning.  The Civee and I put her in her crib around seven tonight, and we’re hoping for a repeat performance.

As for food, Hope can only have pureed foods or liquid.  Her milk/formula intake has been pretty light, but so far she’s had apple juice, apple sauce, cream of broccoli soup, Jell-O and ice cream.  Today was the first time she had either Jell-O or ice cream, and I have to say she really enjoyed both.

Overall, she’s happier at this point than she was after her last surgery.  Sure, she still has to wear the “welcome sleeves” for a few more weeks- but that hasn’t stopped her from playing, or walking around.  As you can see in the video below (I apologize for the poor editing), she’s already working on her zombie walk for next Halloween.

And I should add that The Civee and I really want to thank everyone for the kind words, prayers and help.  We really appreciate it- it’s made everything a little easier.