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Earlier this week, I had a few bumps on my legs, which I thought were mosquito bites.  They changed slightly over the week to something resembling poison ivy.  Considering the fact that the last time I had poison ivy, I had a rash over 90 percent of my body that was headed for my windpipe, I thought it would be a good idea to seek medical advice.

Turns out I don’t have poison ivy, but instead, chicken pox. 

I’ve already had chicken pox. In fact, I had it during the Carter administration. So that whole “you can’t get chicken pox twice” thing is a lie.

While everyone else will be enoying their three-day weekend, I’ll be spending mine covered in benadryl cream trying not to itch.

Why do I always get these weird skin conditions over holiday weekends?

When I was a kid, my dream car was KITT.  Who wouldn’t want a car that can jump over other cars, drive itself and talk back to you?

A few months from now, I can plop down $270 and bring my childhood dream close to reality with a Knight Rider-themed GPS unit, featuring the voice of KITT, William Daniels.

From autoblog.com:

The Knight Rider-themed GPS unit has voice prompts recorded by the one-and-only William Daniels, the original voice of KITT, and asks cordially “Hello Michael, where do you want to go today?” when powered up. The LCD display is also flanked by a series of red LEDs reminiscent of KITT’s nose-mounted lights.

It’s a cool idea, but I won’t be getting one. I’ve never really had a need for a GPS unit.  Although, if it could give an ’04 Civic turbo boost and a molecular bonded shell, I might have to re-think that.

The Civee and I went to have lunch at a nearby place we frequent.  One of their specials on Sundays is usually a BLT with Chicken Lemon Rice soup.  But today, it was different. The Chicken Lemon Rice soup was served with a “Bacon and lettuce sandwich.”

Ew.

If you’ve been to a restaurant or grocery store recently, you may have noticed a lack of fresh tomatoes on sale or used in dishes.

Turns out, some salmonella-tainted tomatoes grown in two states have made some people sick and started a nationwide scare resulting in most food merchants ceasing the use of fresh tomatoes all together.  But the FDA lists 46 states, countries, or provinces that are sources of safe tomatoes.  Regardless, most vendors are overreacting and pulling tomatoes from everything for fear of being sued by someone who just happens to get an upset tummy and decides to place the blame on the store or restaurant being irresponsible.

While at lunch a few days ago, I was talking with someone in the produce distribution business. He said the problem wasn’t in the tomatoes, but in the way restaurants handled them. If there’s some e. coli or salmonella on a fruit or vegetable, it can be removed by washing it.  But a lot of places don’t wash their produce properly.

So for the next few weeks, until all settles down, things at restaurants will taste different. The true victims of this outbreak are those of us who enjoy fresh tomatoes.

 

One of my weaknesses is a sensitivity to noise, particularly when I’m trying to sleep.  As I documented back in the summer of aught-six, my life was nearly ruined by a malfunctioning carbon monoxide detector in my then-next-door-neighbor’s apartment.

A few nights ago, I thought the malfunctioning detector had tracked me down with the intent to finish what it started back in ’06.  It was after midnight, I was hanging out and I heard this short beep emit from somewhere on our ground floor every minute. It was a short, soft beep–just enough to drive me crazy, but not enough to be able to pinpoint the source of the beep, which is kind of self-defeating.

It took me a good 20 minutes of roaming around our ground floor like a lunatic hunting for the source of the beep before I found it: a cordless phone which had been off its cradle all weekend. I returned the phone to the cradle and the beeping stopped.

I don’t understand why, in a world where we have birthday cards that can play the audio of the first fifteen minutes of Star Wars, our more sophisticated electronic devices are limited to a beep when they need our urgent attention. I would have gone through a lot less hassle had my phone simply emitted a “your cordless phone is nearing the end of its power cycle” in a pleasing voice once or twice.  I would have known what was causing the noise, where to find the source and how to remedy the problem.

(The titular line of this entry was inspired by a line from a Saved By The Bell episode.  I’m not sure which one, but I believe Lisa said something to this effect to Screech).

Within 24 hours of its official opening, I caught Indiana Jones and the Kingom of the Crystal Skull. The theater was packed- and for good reason- the first new movie featuring one of the greatest action heroes in almost 20 years.

While I was a bit confused by some of the story points, I liked this movie. It had all the forumla points of a “classic” Indiana Jones movie, with great action and the feel of a real adventure while the Indiana Jones character (and Harrison Ford) were trying to keep up as they got older. That gave this movie depth and homages to previous Indiana Jones movies kept the die-hard saga fans happy.

Continue reading “That's His Name, Henry Jones Junior” →

Now that the weather is nice again, I’m back to one of my favorite pasttimes: cooking outside over an open flame.

I started the grilling thing last year, and despite some early mishaps, with the help of a chimney starter, I became quite adept at grilling by the end of the summer.  Earlier this weekend, The Civee and I decided now would be a good time to re-start our grilling adventure, so we made [what was our first meal on the grill last year] turkey burgers.  We used about a pound of ground turkey, and I made two burgers, each of which was freakin’ huge (the burger pictured has a slice of grilled onion on top).

Even more important, the ginormous burgers were really good. As were the sweet potato fries on the side.

In case you want to make your own turkey burgers just like the king:

Take one pound of ground turkey meat. Mix with a half cup of breadcrumbs (or crushed crackers, which we used tonight), a quarter-cup of olive oil (or any other type of oil, you’ll need it because there’s close to no fat in the turkey meat). Add a palmful of poultry seasoning and as much pepper and salt as you want. Shape into two (or fewer) orbs, and grill about ten minutes per side.

As for the equimpent, I’m still using charcoal and the same Weber knockoff as last year. With the aforementioned chimney starter, there’s no need for lighter fluid, which is a good thing. Maybe this summer we’ll upgrade to a real Weber, but that’s something I’m trying to talk the Civee into.

A comedy staple in both movies and real life may be going out of style.

In it’s daily This Day In Tech feature, wired.com tells the story of the fire pole, which was first used 130 years ago today:

 

Firefighters at Engine Company 21 were unloading hay for the horses that pulled their fire engines. When the bell rang, firefighter George Reid was up in the hayloft on the third floor. The long binding pole that was used to secure the hay to the wagon had been stashed vertically up the loading area to the hayloft. Rather than run all the way down two flights of stairs, Reid decided to slide down the pole. Swift thinking, George.

However, because of safety concerns, fire poles are a dying breed:

Nowadays, the poles are sometimes considered safety hazards, and new firehouses are often built without them. Single-story firehouses are preferred.

It will be a sad day when the fire pole becomes extinct.  At least we can always go back to the works of the Three Stooges or Ghostbusters to see them in their prime.

 

I’ve mentioned before my friend and associate Iron Mike gave me the nickname “King Tom” some years ago.

Iron Mike is a big fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and based the nickname off an episode in which Joel, while trying to cheer up Tom Servo, dubs him King Tom.

While I enjoy MST3K, I haven’t seen a whole lot of it, so this particular episode has evaded me.

Until now.

Thanks to the magic of YouTube, I’ve finally seen the episode where my nickname comes from. I can’t embed the video, but here’s a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LO2rOnW1SY

I guess this makes The Civee my “Giggles VonLaughsALot”

Nothing much exciting happens in downtown Columbus, especially during the work week.

A few years ago, we got buzzed by an Air Force jet, but other than that, there’s rarely anything to make you bug one of your co-workers and say “Hey! What was/Look at that!”

Until today. Sometime early this morning, I looked up from my computer, glanced out the window, and saw a gigantic plume of smoke emitting from a parking garage across the street. I watched for a few seconds, then alerted my co-workers. They all watched for a moment or two. As I watched, I did what anyone would do in this day and age, I whipped out my camera phone and started snapping away.

After a while, I got back to work, even though it looked as if the smoke was headed right for us. Eventually, the smoke died down.

Later on, I read the fire was caused by an SUV in the garage which caught fire, which then spread the flames to two other cars.

Overall, it was a lot of excitement for a Monday morning. Only time will tell if this displaces the low-flying fighter jet as the “hey remember when…” conversation starter in downtown Columbus.

By the way, I must acknowledge the fact that were it not for the pictures, you’d still be seeing the latest entry on the blog be a story about last week’s Monday night Raw. Gee, if it wasn’t for my new phone, which is also a camera, I don’t know what I’d write about.

As I mentioned earlier this week, this year’s WrestleMania was kind of weird. One of my biggest problems with the show was the way the Ric Flair career-ending match ended.

Well, thanks to the miracle of DVR, I finally got around to watching Monday night’s Raw. I actually fast-forwarded through most of it. The show ended with a tribute to Flair, including the Four Horsemen, many of Flair’s past opponents and the whole WWE roster. There was only one person whose absence was somewhat conspicious:

Vince, the last thing you need is someone who idolizes me marrying your daughter.