I'd Like To Do A Jack Bauer On My Cable Box

For some reason, my cable box decided to go out in the middle of tonight’s 24.  I missed (what I’m guessing was) minutes 5-25 of tonight’s show.  While I’m not entirely happy with this, all I have to say is if this happens Wednesday night, there will be hell to pay.

That being said, from what I was able to watch:

Not enough Jack tonight.

Too much FBI.  I don’t care about them.  Their holier-than-thou attitude makes them very unsympathetic.  And Special Agent Jeanene Garafolo still hasn’t grown on me.  Also, please tell me which alternate universe 24 exists in where the federal government can respond to alleged civil rights violations in five seconds flat while not making any headway into solving the identities of those behind the terror plot.

Speaking of the FBI, Special Agent Jeanene’s associate (good ol’ whatshisname) is really irritating, even moreso than her.  I’m guessing he’s the mole.  Because of the hair grease.  Why the hair grease?  Well, the main terrorist (the guy who Jack’s boss reported to) also used a bit too much hair grease this morning.  So did one of the evil secret service agents.  Remember back in season 1 how all the good guys used Macs and the bad guys used PCs?  Well, I’m calling it now.  Bad guys, hair grease.  Good guys, natural and fluffy.

I was also disappointed in the paucity of Bill and Chlöe (aka Shadow CTU).  Were they doing anything at all this hour?  Was it their lunch break?

Speaking of CTU, I know the creators really wanted to switch things up this year, but killing CTU was a bad decision.  It was a great set and added a lot to the story.  Now, we are to believe the FBI can save the day when it looks like all their agents are filing their TPS reports and getting ready for their 3:30 meeting the corporate.

One more thing. The ending would have been far more shocking had Lost not already done the same thing.  That reminds me. Only two more days.

The Force (in Magazine Form) Is No Longer With Me

If such an entry had existed in my high school yearbook, it’s likely I would have been voted Most Likely to Dress In Costume While Attending a Star Wars Convention.  

Well, it probably wouldn’t surprise my friends from way back when that I did attend a Star Wars Convention, but they’d probably be bummed that I did not wear a costume.  

Back in aught-five, my friends Ryan, Brian and Jen (Brian’s Civil War-reenacting wife) made a trek out to Indianapolis for the Star Wars Celebration, the official SW convention, which just so happened to be scheduled for a month before the release of Revenge of the Sith.  

Back then, to get a good deal on tickets, I signed up for the Star Wars fan club, which included a subscription to the Star Wars Insider magazine.  Not only did we get discounted tickets, but a supposed special access pass, which we didn’t really need. When we got to the convention center, we picked the shortest line, which ended up being a presentation by George Lucas, a nice way to start off a whole day of geekdom.

Even though the convention was a few years ago, I never got around to cancelling my fan club membership.  I kept getting the magazine, and while I’d flip through it, it never really held my interest.  With the last movie coming out three years ago, how much new Star Wars news is there going to be?

The other day, I got a card in the mail saying my membership would be automatically renewed.  Because it’s time that I started paying attention to things I receive in the mail, I gave them a call and cancelled my subscription, and with it, my membership in the Star Wars fan club.  

Even though I’ll still be a fan of the saga, it is somewhat liberating.  While I’ll watch the Clone Wars TV show, I don’t pay too much attention to the Expanded Universe, which is where all the new action is anyway (unless George wants to do a special Sepcial Edition).  I suppose if I want to follow the universe from here on out, I can do it online, where it’s free.

This Is A Song About A Superhero Named Tony

About twenty years ago, Randy “Macho Man” Savage and Hulk Hogan teamed up to form the Mega Powers, a union that gave fans what they wanted- the ultimate good guy wrestling tag team. The Mega Powers decimated everyone in their way, before imploding and turning on each other.

Last night on the third and fourth hours of the seventh longest day of Jack Bauer’s life, we found out Tony Almeida (who cheated death) wasn’t evil, but “undercover.”  Jack busted Tony out of FBI custody, learned Tony was working with Chlöe and Bill Buchanan and teamed up, forming with Tony the 24-universe equivalend of the Mega Powers.

Combine that with the return of Jack Bauer’s man purse (or the Jack Sack, if you will) and you have the beginnings of what could be a turnaround for the fortunes of 24.

I’m not saying all is forgiven.  There’s a lot not to like this season.  To wit:

  • Jeaneane Garafolo serving no purpose on the show other than to rip off Chlöe.
  • That FBI guy who says “we’re not CTU, we’re the FBI and we follow the law” every other scene.
  • The neurotic First Husband.
  • The fact that everyone in the government, including the Attorney General and commandant of the Merchant Marines are moles.
  • This nebulous link between the Sangala warlords and the evil terrorist organization determined to rule the world that’s causing so much havoc this season.

All that said, while this season has opened much slower than last season, it has a better foundation.  And the Mega Powers’ escape from the FBI was pretty cool.

Yet Another Long Day For Jack Bauer

So I caught the first two hours of Day 7 of 24 last night, and while I’m not doing cartwheels in the hope that it will be a great season, I’m hopeful because it seems better than last season.  So far.

Day 6 opened strong, with Jack killing Curtis and a nuclear bomb going off in suburban L.A.  That wasn’t the only bomb for the season–the day quickly went downhill, featuring Jack teaming up with Rain Main to hunt the terrorists, going up against his father and being a witness to the killing of Charles Logan, one of the best characters on the show.

This season so far is more grounded, but it has some problems:

  • CTU is no more.
  • The First Husband is a psycho.
  • Once again, there are moles all over the place.
  • Tony Almeida is not only alive, but (seemingly) evil.

I can do with the first.  But I’m getting tired of moles in every government classification from vice president on the way down to postal carrier.  I’m sick of crazy relatives of powerful political figures. And like Jack, I don’t want to believe Tony is bad.
Still, it’s nice to see Jack in action and sticking it to a Congressional committee.  Only time will tell if this season can save the show.

Pie From The Sky

I’m a fan of finding new and interesting ways of cooking things.  That’s why a recent posting from Popular Science is setting the idea wheels in motion.  The PopSci Web site answers the question: If You Dropped a Corn Kernel From Space, Would it Pop During Re-Entry?

Unfortunately, the answer is mostly inconclusive:

If an astronaut were to throw a watertight kernel out of that space shuttle moving at 17,000 mph, would the kernel reach hot enough temperatures to pop as it flew through the atmosphere? It’s possible, says Kenneth Libbrecht, a physics professor at the California Institute of Technology, but he can’t run the numbers to say for sure, because no one has measured how much friction a kernel generates when it moves through the air. 

We need to get the boys (and girls) in the lab working on this one right away.  If possible, this sets the stage for a revolution in meal preparation.  All cooking is is the addition of heat to food, and one could harness this for a profit.  

Don’t go stealing this, but here’s the idea:  When the Space Shuttles have outlived their usefulness, send them up to space as orbital kitchens.  You want a pizza?  Chinese Food?  Roasted chicken?  Just call and the chefs in the shuttle will put the ingredients together and just drop it into orbit so your meal lands on your roof.  And probably crashes through, destroying your house.

On second thought, maybe they should just stick to finding out whether ants can sort tiny screws in space.

The French Connection

Hi , i’m the webmaster of [redacted], and i see u’re website http://www.the-king-tom.com who’s had a PageRank of 0  and , i would know if u want to exchange a backlink with me ? .
If that’s okay , can u put this backlink on you’re homepage :
<a href=[redacted]’>[redacted]</a>
Thanks to give me you’re backlink and i put on my homepage ( PR 5 )
Excuse Me for my english , but i’m french.
Best Regard
Webmaster

-E-mail received earlier today from a French visitor

I know I haven’t posted in a while, but this is ridiculous.

It’s been 13 days since I’ve last written (and the last post was a collection of recipes rather than the usual intellectual highbrow thoughts presented here at the kingdom).  I’ve been thinking, but nothing has really inspired me–and I doubt people want to read me complaining about the cold.  But today, inspiration came to my e-mail box.

First, I received note that the one little bit of “marketing” I do for the Kingdom is set to expire at the end of the month.  It’s not that much, so I’ll pony up to re-sponsor the page of the Yankees’ greatest Japanese pitcher.  The only trick is remembering to do so.  I have two-and-a-half more weeks.

The second thing to hit my e-mail box is the e-mail I’ve included at the top of this post.  I’m not going to publish the guy’s name or Web site, but this guy in France wants to include the Kingdom as part of his directory of French Web sites.  Granted, if I were to write him an e-mail in French it would probably come out as bad as his did in English (and that’s with six years of French classes!).  Still, after seeing his site, I doubt it would help me with traffic and I’m fine with this site being read by the five people kind enough to visit whenever they do (thanks Mom!) and those who come here expecting something else.

So to those of you who visit, there will be more writing in the coming days, weeks and months (with Lost starting in less than 16 days, you can bet I’ll have something to write about).  And thanks for stopping by.

Chicken for [Christmas] Dinner (This Time With Recipes)

In the past week, I’ve gotten many hits on the Kingdom from people googling Christmas Chicken Dinner.  I haven’t seen this kind of traffic since Jean Smart was in the cast of 24.  The only problem, the post involving those key words doesn’t really contain any information about chicken for Christmas dinner.  In the interest of serving the public, I share some of my favorite chicken recipes.  Depending on what floats your boat, they could go well with the whole Christmas thing.

Chicken and Bean Soup

  • 2-3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts cut into strips
  • 1 cup dried white beans
  • 5 leeks (quartered lengthwise, sliced crosswise, washed and trained).
  • 1/3 stick of butter
  • 6 tablespoons olive oil
  • 3 bay leaves
  • 4 large garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 teaspoon tarragon
  • 1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
  • 2 quarts chicken or vegetable stock
  • 5 carrots trimmed, peeled and diced
  • 1/2 pound potatoes, peeled and diced
  • 1 medium fennel bulb, trimmed and diced
  • 14-ounce can Italian peeled tomatoes, chopped
  • Freshly grated Parmesan cheese (none of the powdered stuff in the green container)
  • For the pesto (optional):
  • 5 large garlic cloves
  • Pinch of Kosher salt
  • 2 cups fresh basil leaves
  • 1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
  • 1/3 cup Olive Oil

Soak beans in cold water overnight.

Sautee leeks in 2 tablespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a large pot over moderate heat, stirring frequently for 1/2 hour or until leeks turn dark golden brown.  Add bay leaves, garlic, tarragon, fennel seeds and pepper, stirring for 1 minute.

In a separate pan, sautee chicken strips in 2 tablespoons olive oil until browned.

Drain the beans, add to leek mixture.  Add the stock and bring to a boil.  Reduce the heat, add browned chicken strips and simmer, covered for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until beans are tender.  Make sure soup does not boil.

While the rest is simmering, cook carrots, potato, fennel bulb and orange zest in remaining olive oil in a separate pan, stirring often, until vegetables brown.  

Stir vegetables and tomatoes into soup.  Cook soup over moderate heat for 5 minutes.  Serve topped with the grated cheese and pesto.

To make the pesto: Mash garlic and salt, pounding vigorously into a paste.  Gradually add the basil as you mash.  Add cheese gradually until mixture reaches the consistency of a soft butter.  Gradually stir in the oil. You could do this in a food processor, but that takes away all the fun.

Honey Nut Chicken Sticks

  • 1 pound chicken tenders
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1/2 cup of flour (whole wheat or all purpose)
  • 1 eggs
  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 1 cup of honey nut corn flakes
  • 1/2 cup bread crumbs
  • 1/2 tablespoon sweet paprika
  • 1/2 tablespoon poultry seasoning
  • 1 tablespoons steak seasoning
  • 1/4 cup vegetable oil

Preheat Oven to 400

Season the chicken with salt and pepper. Place the flour in a large, shallow. Coat the chicken in flour. Beat the eggs and milk in a shallow dish. Combine the cereal, bread crumbs, paprika, poultry seasoning, steak seasoning and vegetable oil in a food processor.

In batches, dip the flour-coated chicken into the egg mixture and then in the breading and place on then place on a nonstick cookie sheet or aluminum foil. When all of the tenders have been coated, bake 15 minutes or until evenly browned and cooked through. Cool enough to handle and serve.

Use warm barbeque sauce (Montgomery Inn), honey and steak sauces for dipping.

Artichicken Pasta

  • 1.5 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts
  • 2 carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch slices
  • 1 green pepper, chopped
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • Whole wheat flour
  • 1 can of artichoke hearts
  • 1/2 cup chicken broth
  • 1/2 cup cream
  • 1 box spaghetti

2 tablespoons olive oil

Cook spaghetti for 10 minutes in a pot of boiling water.

Coat chicken in flour.

Sautee chicken in olive oil until browned.  Add chopped carrots, green pepper and onion.  Cook for five minutes or until vegetables soften.  Add artichoke hearts and cook for another two minutes.

Add chicken stock and deglaze the pan.  Add cream and cook for five minutes.

Drain spaghetti and toss into pan with chicken and vegetables.  Cook over low heat for two minutes.

King Tom Is Not An Anti-Dentite

As I type this, there is a package containing $15 in random change on its way to the office of my former dentist, and I cannot wait ’till it gets there.

The dentist, of whom I had been a patient for about four years, is charging me $15 for copies of my records. 

During the four years I had been a patient, I never had a wait time shorter than 35 minutes.  Add to that her staff “forgetting” to get a permanent crown made for me (twice!) and the fact that I moved to the other side of town and you could see why I wanted to change the person who I pay to stick their fingers in my mouth.  Last year, the Civee started going to a dentist a few blocks away from us, suggested I try him out and I figured a clean break from Dentist #1 was necessary.  I called Dentist #1, asked them to send my records to Dentist #2 and thought that was that.  

Until I received a bill for $15, which Dentist #1 claimed was for copying the X-Rays, standard procedure in her office.  It wasn’t the amount, but the fact that she was charging me for this that kicked my stubbornness into high gear.  I am not an anti-dentite.  This is all about the principle.

I sent her a kind letter saying  her office never said they would charge for the records and that I’m legally entitled to a copy of my records free of charge.  She responded saying there’s a state law saying they can charge (nevermind the fact that federal law supersedes state law), and I dismissed her letter until we received a second notice.

At this point, the Civee urged me to pay so this wouldn’t affect our credit history.  I agreed, but would do so in my own manner.  My own manner being the least convenient, but legal way short of sending the money in McDonald’s bucks.  So I went to the bank, asked for $15 in change, packed it up tightly (along with a note asking for a receipt–I resisted the urge to write ‘Keep the change, ya filthy animals’ on the note as well), took it to UPS and sent it off.  While filling out the packing slip, I didn’t list anything under the contents, but under the declared value, I put $15.

So is going through the work of paying a bill in change (not to mention paying the cost of having that change sent) a pointless exercise? Maybe, but it makes me feel a lot better.  Unless one of those coins is a double-die Denver mint penny.  Those things are worth a fortune.