Driving Mister Bentham

Locke and AbbadonSo you’re on a path to sacrificing your life to get your friends back to a magical island.  You turn a magical frozen donkey wheel (the wrong way).  You’re about to find out the love of your life is dead while being driven around by a really creepy guy you had a spooky encounter with in the past.  Your leg is broken and you’re stranded in the middle of the Tunisian desert. Once night falls, you’re apprehended by a bunch of guys in a pickup truck and taken to what passes for a Tunisian hospital.  Once there, you’re attended to by the Tunisian version of House.  

Welcome back to civilization, John Locke Jeremy Bentham.

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Help–Jack Bauer's Brain Is Missing!

Throughout his career as a government agent, Jack Bauer has a history of being one step ahead of everyone else.  Bad guys, good guys, idiot family members, Jack is portrayed as the sharpest knife in the drawer that is the 24-verse.  As a viewer, it’s fun- cheering for the guy who is always right and always gets things done.

But tonight, I have to admit my faith in Jack was broken.  True, Jack’s pursuit of Ike and the information to take down the conspiracy achieved their goals, but he made two missteps along the way that resulted in me shouting at the TV, questioning whether Jack was out of his mind.

First, after pulling Ike’s seemingly lifeless body out of a flaming car, Jack left Ike there to lay on the sidewalk while he helped Special Agent Renee attempt to save Martika.  

Not that I have anything against saving the life of someone who helped you nail the bad guy, but I’ve watched way too much TV to expect Ike to still be laying there when Jack is done trying to save Martika.

Secondly, shortly after procuring a chip from Ike’s body, Jack proceeds to hand said MacGuffin over to a random police officer who just so happened to be standing by a helicopter.  Now, that chip contained the names and information on all of the government agents involved in the conspiracy, right?  Then why would Jack hand that over to some random police officer?

Luckily, neither of these missteps came back to bite Jack in the ass.  Hopefully, Jack’s brain was catching up on its sleep this episode and his body was on autopilot.  Jack will be back to normal next week (I hope).

Despite Jack’s questionable decisions, the whole pursuit of Ike and retrieval of the microchip is over.  But the name of the game is 24, not 9, and there’s more to talk about.

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Welcome Back

Welcome back, Oceanic Six…Welcome back.

For all the hubbub about this season of Lost featuring the cast split between the Island and the mainland, everyone got back on the same piece of land pretty quickly, huh?

I thought they were going to drag out the O6’s off-island storyline all season, but I’m glad they didn’t.  On tonight’s episode, 316, we’ve seen at least three of them (with possibly two more, plus Ben, Frank, the body of John Locke, Marshall Girl and the random first class dude of indeterminate origin) making it back to the island, in what appears to be the mid-seventies.  Meanwhile, Aaron’s back on the mainland taking acting lessons.  

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Jack Bauer Will Break Your Heart

First, just a little something I want to get out of the way. From January 19 of this year:

Speaking of the FBI, Special Agent Jeanene’s associate (good ol’ whatshisname) is really irritating, even moreso than her. I’m guessing he’s the mole. Because of the hair grease. Why the hair grease? Well, the main terrorist (the guy who Jack’s boss reported to) also used a bit too much hair grease this morning. So did one of the evil secret service agents. Remember back in season 1 how all the good guys used Macs and the bad guys used PCs? Well, I’m calling it now. Bad guys, hair grease. Good guys, natural and fluffy.

I’m glad that I actually called a mole right one of these seasons. Even though “good ol’ whatshisname” since been re-named on this blog as Special Agent Brylcreem, my disdain for him and his whiny ways have not changed. I suppose that serves notice to Special Agent The Bowler as well, because she remains just as annoying. Still, this whole episode just reinforced one fact:

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Don't Forget What Day Today Is…

…that’s right, it’s International Weezer Day!

Last year was a good year for fans of the Weez- with a new album, tour, and a boatload of solo stuff from Rivers.  Who knows what’s on tap this year? Could be more albums, another tour or two (hopefully without a co-headliner) and more solo stuff from RC.  But then again, it could be the beginning of another multi-year wait before any other Weezer action.  

But I have a feeling it’s the former rather than the latter (or is it latter rather than the former? I never get that one right).  Anyway, from all of us here at the Kingdom to all of you out there, may the Weez be with you.

King Tom

Beer Week Started Early in Philly

From Fox News:

Philadelphia’s primary mass transit agency is embarrassed about a discount pass it sold that features a picture of New York City.

The pass is marked with the logo for Philly Beer Week, a festival celebrating local breweries and taverns. The Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority is selling the pass to discourage people from driving from one event to another during the festival.

A spokeswoman for the agency, Jerri Williams, says transit officials liked the look of the pass but didn’t realize the stock photo was of the wrong city.

I haven’t been to Philly in years, but I never thought it’s skyline resembled New York’s at all.  Guess it’s a good thing most of the people who would be using those passes won’t have full control of their faculties.

King Tom

[This Place is] Death on a Redheaded Perm

So Charlotte, Lost’s most annoying on-island (for Season 5) character is dead, and I’m supposed to care.

I don’t mean to sound callow, but ever since she showed up on the island (“Don’t you people want to be rescued?”), she annoyed me, and I’m just not sad to see she’s gone.  Or, as The Civee put it, “I’m glad Charlotte’s dead, because this plot is boring.”

I wouldn’t entirely put it that way–her last few minutes established that Faraday tried to break his “don’t do it, because you can’t change it anyway” rule, which should mean he gets into some interesting situations during his next jump.  Speaking of which, if he meets Charlotte back in the day, then shouldn’t he be, like, her Constant?

Perhaps the most interesting revelation in tonight’s episode comes from a different story thread: John Locke can’t follow orders.  When he meets Christian at the bottom of the well, Christian emphasizes the fact that Locke was supposed to move the island.  But Ben moved it instead, causing the whole mess the island has gotten itself into.  Well, a few seconds later, Christian tells Locke he has to push the frozen donkey wheel.  And what does Locke do? Well, permit me to illustrate:

In the above screen capture, we see Locke with the wheel.  The blue arrow represents the direction Locke would have had to go to push the wheel.  However, Locke moves in the direction of the yellow arrow, pulling the wheel.  

And this is the guy they expect to save the island?

A few other thoughts:

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Relationship Issues

Tonight on 24, we learned the main bad guy is having issues with his girlfriend, who thinks he’s an importer/exporter who is extremely devoted to his work.  

The FBI agent who’s [most likely in the end] a good guy and smitten with his female co-worker is frustrated by the fact that each minute she’s getting more and more like Jack Bauer and less like the bright-eyed by-the-book FBI agent he fell in love with all those years ago.

In the White House, the president is showing some backbone by refusing to negotiate with the terrorists who have kidnapped the first husband.  Meanwhile, upstairs in President Heaven, President David Palmer is looking down on all this and thinking to himself…

 

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Male Bonding

So the people on the island are flashing forward and backwards through time.  The Oceanic 6 are stuck in 2007 (or 2008).  And I’m watching the show, wondering how an hour can feel like it passed by in 15 minutes.

Tonight’s episode of Lost, The Little Prince, didn’t have a lot of action, but it made up for that with answers and more riddles.  Most of this show seemed to be about groups of people doing things.  More specifically, groups of men.  Locke and Sawyer had their little bonding moment.  Sayid and Ben (and somewhat Jack, when he wasn’t trying to help Kate out) also spent some quality time together.  The most surprising thing in this episode was the transformation of Sawyer into Mr. Emotion.  

First he’s pining over Kate. Then he sees her, but can’t do anything about it. Then he has a heart to heart with Locke.  Then he shares a special moment with Juliet, is shot at, travels through time, and picks up where he left off.  Because he’s an everyman stuck on a journey with a scientist who specializes in time travel and a man of faith, I can actually sympathize with his point of view.  I just hope they don’t make him cry anytime soon.

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King Tom

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before

So on tonight’s episode of 24 (Day 7: 2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.), an industrial plant in a small town is threatened.  A remote computer controls the release of toxic gas, but when that system is compromised, the buildup of said gas threatens to explode, putting that town in danger.  Only the brave efforts of one man, who must sacrifice himself to save the day by throwing the manual release lever can save the day…

King Size Homer looks better in a mu-mu than Jack Bauer would.

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